I wish I could homeschool :(

[Happiest mommy]

Hi my DIS friends sorry but I need to vent or I will explode, my DD7 is so miserable at school and it breaks my heart, the public schools where I live are horrible(currently selling our house) so I enrolled my DD in private school she has been going to this school since kindergarten she has grown to hate school. I think the structured enviroment is killing her spirit she is the most sweetest, gentlest child yet they find her crying quietly sitting in her desk, the school doesnt allow parents to come in and volunteer etc only on very rare occasions which I find horrible, her current teacher treats them as if they were in college and is extremely strict, the last straw came when my daughter came home and said if she was disgusting?, I said no why was she asking that? and I later found out her teacher likes to use that word a lot when she is upset at the class she will say "I am in so disgusted in this class for not behaving" or "you guys disgust me with your behavior" I brought it to the teachers attention she did admit to saying it and said its in general not to the individual children... I so wish I could homeschool but I don't think i'm qualified enough in all subjects to do it and what if I try and fail my heart breaks we live in NYC very hard to find homeschooling groups in my area thanks for letting me vent (please no flames)

 

[floydfamily4]

First of all, HUGS TO YOU!!! Being a mom and seeing your child sad is hard and unfortunate. I think it is sad that we have created a society where we make parents think they are inept to teach their own kids. You are more than able to teach your child. I am sure that you made it through elementary school and would be surprised at how well you could teach your child. Remember there was a time in this country when 16 & 17 year olds taught a room full of multi-age children You can homeschool (provided your only concern is your ability). There are lots of curriculums available and it is legal in every state in the land. I currently homeschool my twin 2nd graders and while I NEVER thought I would be a homeschooler, I am thankful everyday that I choose to educate them at home. Be encouraged and feel free to PM me if you want to discuss further.

Dawn

 

[Lilliputian]

Homeschooling doesn't involve you standing at the front of a room and telling your child all you know on a subject. There are a lot of homeschooling materials available, and many of them require very little work from the parent. You can have your child watch a certified teacher teach a class of "real" students and work along with the class. When she's a little bit older, there are options of computer-based learning and homeschooling text books that are designed for the student to read the instructional materials instead of being taught by an instructor.

If you want to homeschool, I'd encourage you to explore your options. You may be surprised at how easy it can be. I do a more parent-directed form of homeschooling, so I'm not really the person to tell exactly what all of your options are, but you might want to start by looking at Math U See, Bob Jones, and a Beka as options that would involve your DD learning from someone else. I'm sure there are other choices for her age, but I just don't know them all. CLASS (from Christian Liberty Press) probably has a good option. Switched On Schoolhouse is computer based starting at 3rd grade, but I think that their book-based version, Alpha Omega, has very little parental involvement and is available for younger ones.

I'm sure you're capable of teaching a young child. Teaching a classroom full of children from a variety of households is hard work which requires a college education. Teaching your own child who you know and love, with the assistance of well-developed homeschooling materials, is really very easy. It's the perfect time to start because you and she can both grow into it. If you decide as she gets older that it's not going to work any more, you can find another option, and maybe she'll be ready for things she's not ready for now, or you'll live somewhere with different options. Or maybe you'll realize that you can homeschool all the way through high school.

I know it's scary to think of homeschooling and "failing," but the beauty is that you can always change and tailor-fit things to suit your daughter with homeschooling. A caring parent who wants the best for her child will find good methods that work well for that child. And there is a lot of help available, even when you live in an area with few homeschoolers. There are Internet forums and books with so much good advice.

You don't have to raise the smartest child in the world. She doesn't have to win spelling bees, master calculus at 12, and speak Latin and Greek. Some homeschoolers do one or two of those things (none of them do them all), but many are just regular kids doing the best they can do. It sounds like she's not thriving in her current environment, so any improvement will be a step in the right direction. Yes, it's a little scarier when you're the one in the driver's seat, but the fact of the matter is that you need to provide a good education for her by the time she's 18 no matter how she gets it. If you send her to a "good" school but it doesn't work, then it's still not a good outcome.

 

[6disneykids]

I am so sorry that your DD is hating school right now. No child should be made to feel badly about themselves by their teacher. I will say, the jump in expectations from 1st to 2nd grade is fairly large in most schools, older DSs were in parochial school for elementary, while DD9 and DS7 are in public school and have seen this in both schools. This Momma is not happy currently with education my local elementary school is providing, and considering homeschooling next school year.

I am not sure what the parameters are in New York for homeschooling, however, the majority of moms I know that homeschool here, (I live in Texas), have never been teachers (I only know 1 homeschool mom who was a teacher), a couple of moms I know don't have college degrees. There is so much information available on line to assist with homeschooling and how to get started, all it takes is the leap, and willingness to do so. You would be surprised how little time "school" takes up in your day.

 

[SplashMtnCrew]

OP, I totally agree with pp. You can do it! Part of our job as parents is to do what is best for our children, and that's not necessarily what other people agree with. But as the mom, no one knows your children better than you do, you are exactly the mom they need! I've known lots of mothers that felt like you and today they are successfully HSing and loving it and so are their wonderful, social, happy children. OP you're in my thoughts today! Good Luck!

 

[Happiest mommy]

you guys just made me cry... my heart really wants to try and my DH says he is all for it I guess its just like you guys said finding what works in curriculum new world for and I want to do whats best you guys gave me so much to think about thank you , thank you

 

[mjkacmom]

Just wait it out. Dd16 was a very "spirited" child (always had to be doing something - very creative). Her first grade teacher was horrible (since she was my first I didn't know to request another teacher - never made that mistake again! I think her classes consist of kids who have no older siblings). She was boring, strict, soft voice, and wouldn't let the kids even get a book if they were done with their work.

None of the schools here allow parent volunteers - you can bring something to the office, but not to the classroom. It's fine. Dd learned (a little early) that sometimes you don't get a great teacher - she really appreciated all of the other ones!

 

[pocomom]

I so wish I could homeschool but I don't think i'm qualified enough in all subjects to do it and what if I try and fail my heart breaks we live in NYC very hard to find homeschooling groups in my area thanks for letting me vent (please no flames)

Sorry for your struggles! We homeschool and love it. At 7 the most important thing to develop in your child is reading, and a little math. As long as you have patience and enjoy being with your child you can totally homeschool. My dd HATED school in 2nd grade. She is old for her grade so I pulled her out with the idea that if I screwed up she could just go to the next grade down the following year. So we took the whole year just to read, do art, play all sorts of learning games - very relaxed. When she went back to school the following year she was light years beyond her peers. Then last year we pulled them out again. and we will homeschool next year, probably as our last at least for her. As she will be in 8th then and needs more social interactions, plus we want to do the high school so she can do the sports. The other thing with homeschooling to remember, even if you aren't that good of a teacher, you have so much more time to work with your kids then a classroom teacher, plus you can individualize their learning so much more. In elementary, I really don't think you can screw it up Good Luck! Feel free to pm if you need more info!

 

[MSSANDRA]

The only thing you need right now to start the ball rolling to home school is courage and I know that for you child you can find that! You do have to comply to the laws of the state but that will just take research and paper work. You have the most important knowledge to teach your child and that is that you KNOW your child. You are already paying for private school so the money for resources is there. Now I might not be able to teach high school calculus, but I am sure that like me, you certainly have the skills and knowledge to teach a seven year old. Most states require you enroll home school kids by age 7 though a few are 6 or 8. If NY is 8 ( I have no idea
), I would pull her from school today, if not see what you have to have in place to pull her and do so as soon as possible. If is a shame for a child to suffer in school and a worse shame for you to PAY for it.

If you decide not to home school, look for a different private school or look at options in the public school. Even in "bad" districts, there are some good schools and charter schools and magnet schools and ways to get into them. With our 6 year old whom has severe peanut allergies, we STRONGLY considered private, and home school and he ended up in our local public school because it was better than the expensive private school we were willing to pay for and had things to offer that even I would have had a hard time offering homeschooling. Thing is there are some BAD school in this district and I would never allow my DS to attend one of these BUT there are also some amazing school too so be open to that as well.
Prayers and good luck!

 

[AshleeH]

I'm so sorry your DD is going through this (and that you are too!). I've been thinking about homeschooling more and more, but just in the peripheral sense. My DS has been struggling since Christmas break with his homework and falling grades. He flourishes in the school environment, so I'm not seriously thinking about taking him out, but the struggles with his work is throwing me for a loop right now (we're focusing a lot more one-on-one with his homework now, trying to get his confidence back up about it - he was in the hospital in December and I think a switch went off in his head about that time). I'm also like you - I don't feel comfortable enough with myself to take on that type of teaching, since we would be starting from scratch at the 4th/5th grade level.

 

[tantoria2]

Please look a little more into the option of homeschooling In my opinion a homeschool co op is a huge help! You may have to dig around a bit to find one though. They dont usually advertise so check into churches in your area, facebook groups, and goole your area and hommeschool co op.

My situation was similar to yours when my daughter was 7…I pulled her out and have found homeschool co ops to be essential for our families needs My daughter is now 17 and is an amazing young lady

 

[ccgirl]

Hi my DIS friends sorry but I need to vent or I will explode, my DD7 is so miserable at school and it breaks my heart, the public schools where I live are horrible(currently selling our house) so I enrolled my DD in private school she has been going to this school since kindergarten she has grown to hate school. I think the structured enviroment is killing her spirit she is the most sweetest, gentlest child yet they find her crying quietly sitting in her desk, the school doesnt allow parents to come in and volunteer etc only on very rare occasions which I find horrible, her current teacher treats them as if they were in college and is extremely strict, the last straw came when my daughter came home and said if she was disgusting?, I said no why was she asking that? and I later found out her teacher likes to use that word a lot when she is upset at the class she will say "I am in so disgusted in this class for not behaving" or "you guys disgust me with your behavior" I brought it to the teachers attention she did admit to saying it and said its in general not to the individual children... I so wish I could homeschool but I don't think i'm qualified enough in all subjects to do it and what if I try and fail my heart breaks we live in NYC very hard to find homeschooling groups in my area thanks for letting me vent (please no flames)

Good luck with your decision.

I will say that a lot of private schools are a lot more strict than public schools. They try to teach the children independence from an early age. The structured environment is not for everyone. I sent my DD to a very similar school. She excelled and did great. I wouldn't even think of sending my DS there. I know the structure would not be a great fit for him. They are not for everyone. It sounds like you really want to homeschool. If that is what you want, then you should do it. There are tons of online resources. If you go that route, I encourage you to join homeschool groups and/or town groups such as sports.

Again, good luck with your decision.

 

[LockShockBarrel]

I can't really speak to whether home schooling is a good option or not, my concern is a little deeper. Is the only reason your child unhappy in school because of the teacher? You say she's gone there since kindergarten, are these problems that have been building since then or just this year? Is it all people she's around in school that bother her or just the teacher? Does she have friends? Is she able to complete the work the teacher assigns?

I guess I can't imagine taking a kid out of school if the teacher is the issue. I mean yes, if the teacher is singling your child out and treating them differently. You said you've spoken to the teacher, but nothing has been resolved? Have you talked to the principal, the school board? I'd imagine those would be the next steps before home schooling.

But really, I'd look more into what might be going on with your daughter first. I had teachers that were similar, that came across as belittling and strict. It's a huge part of why I was silent in classes up til around 9th grade. I knew the material but the teachers bothered me. Not as extreme as what seems to be going on here but that's why I wonder if there's something more going on with her. At this point in the school year, I just wonder if pulling her out would be the right choice. And if the teacher is truly the only issue, what happens when next school year starts?

I really don't mean to sound like I'm questioning your decisions, just hoping that you really explore all the options and possibilities in what's going on and what should be done about it.

 

[SplashMtnCrew]

OP, I just checked up on this thread and want to add that since your DH supports the idea, it probably is the right choice for your family. Lots of people will question your family's decision but it is yours and your DH's decision to make. I also recommend HSLDA for your state laws, etc. Have a great day!

 

[quandrea]

Here's my story to encourage you. We moved, and while our new house is beautiful, the schools are terrible. Seems that a lot of parents have opted out of the public system and it's really hurt the local schools in our area. Anyway, instead of seeking private education, we chose to homeschool our 8 yo daughter. She is thriving. She has completed three levels of reading so far this year, her math skills are firminig up beautifully, we have finished the social studies curriculum for the year and are three quarters of the way through the science. Her writing is so advanced for a third grader. I am a teacher, but I firmly believe that a well intentioned parent can do a great job. We are not very involved with the homeschool community, as I've found it more beneficial to keep close ties with her established friends.

My twins are three and will start JK in the fall. I'm dreading it, but will keep them in school until grade two for the purpose of socialization. It's full day kindergarten (which I hate), but they'll go half day.

Homeschooling was one of the best things to happen to our family. We love not being at the mercy of the school calendar and being able to learn the way we want to. If we want to do a whole week of science--we can! I have no doubt she is receiving a superior education. Go for it! Know that there will be bumps a long the way. The hardest thing for me was forgiving myself for a day that was not packed with learning. Sometimes errands need to get done and that's okay. Now I figure we are so far ahead that a light school day every now and then is fine.

 

[Happiest mommy]

LockShockBarrel thank you for your response, you are right the teacher is the issue I have spoken to the principle about it and she has the disposition of "
I don't know this teacher for being that way, she is just very strict" she had a wonderful teacher last year and my DD did very well I would not pull her out at this point but will consider if she will be going back during the summer, I wish I could change her from class but that is only 2nd grade class and they have closed so many schools in my area that my DD's school is filled to capacity and more coming in Sept since a few more schools are closing after June, we have to send a save-a-seat payment now my mind is racing with questions found a nice site today called Time4learning getting more info on that so much info out there its confusing...

 

[worm761]

I lived in NY state when I first started homeschooling. The laws seem really hard to follow but they are not. Take the rest of this school year to research. Try to find a homeschool group and attend a few meetings. It does not have to be very expensive and it can be a ton of fun.

 

[Happiest mommy]

just saw a teaser for a Documentary coming out this year about Homeschooling called Class Dismissed wow! very interesting ....

 

[LockShockBarrel]

I think you've gotten some good advice so far. If it were me, I'd just very carefully make sure you have all your ducks in order before making a decision either way. More importantly, I don't think I'd bring it up to your child until you were very close to a decision, but when you get to that point ask your daughter how she feels about it. Present it in a way that's realistic.. "Mommy can teach you at home but it's still school between this time and this time" rather than "You don't have to go to yucky school anymore" you know what I mean?

 

[melindae10]

Next year my daughter is starting K and going to I guess you would call an "alternative" school. It is called a parent partnership program and is through the local public school district. She will go to maybe one or two classes per week and I will do the rest of the education at home. I can kind og pick and choose which subjects I am not comfortable teaching myself, or they have fun classes like Ballet and Gymnastics, etc. It will give her a taste of "school" but also gives me more control over her education. I don't know how many of those are around the country?? I also know in our area that I could enroll my daughter into any public school part time. Each family is different and you have to do what works best for yours! Good luck, it always works out in the end!