Humiliated at the Reno Airport

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by Baliezer, Feb 20, 2013.

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  1. hellow

    hellow Mouseketeer

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    YES! All these armchair quarterbacks trying to chastise the OP for admitting to crying. She didn't feel good about crying, but sometimes it just happens--especially as described above. Add in post-partum/PMS/perimenopause/untreated depression/feeling vulnerable/anything really! and you sometimes cry even when you don't want to.

    At the age of 52, after 3 kids, full time work and juggling life, if I were chastised for all the times I broke down in tears that's all you guys would do! She obviously feels bad, do you really think telling her she shouldn't have cried is gonna do any good? Some people are criers, others are not. I have gone head to head with the best of them to stand up for myself, but sometimes the tears come. It doesn't mean I am a door mat, or in histrionics or out of control. It is just what I do.

    Give her a break!
     
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  3. allison443

    allison443 DIS Veteran

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    It's a good thing that her husband was able to control his emotions and deal with the situation. :thumbsup2
     
  4. hellow

    hellow Mouseketeer

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    THIS!

    I hope you feel better already OP! ~Take care~ :wave2:
     
  5. indygirl99

    indygirl99 Choose Happiness

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    It is NOT unique to NYC. IN May, September, December and January, we encountered bomb sniffing dogs in Santa Anna airport leaving Disney. In talking to one of the guards in May he said they were now in ALL airport at varing times to combat various problems.

    Last month when my sister was flying out of the Indianoplois airport she texted me a picture of the dogs and armed guards in that airport. What is funny is after she sent me the picture the dogs alerted on her carryon bag. Seems my sisters home made Fabreeze caught the dogs attention and she got to spend an hour in the security office explaining herself.

    I have also seen the dogs and armed guards in the Portland airport and SeaTac airport in the last year.
     
  6. LiveYourLife

    LiveYourLife Living in the Chiefs Kingdom

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    Of course he could, all he had to do was park the car! :thumbsup2
     
  7. hellow

    hellow Mouseketeer

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    All this disdain for someone who cries is just weird to me. Having worked with men and women for over 25 years and been in a lot of stressful situations, I see people cry all the time. I don't think of it as a weakness. I have traveled with groups of mothers and daughters, where the mother broke down, and the girls learned that stress can put us over the edge sometimes. It doesn't teach them to be door mats.

    With such negative remarks about the simple act of crying, it is no wonder that there is still such a stigma on mental illnesses. If you think so negatively of someone just because she broke down and cried, what do you think of someone who is experiencing major depressive disorder (very common)? Someone going through MDD can start crying because there is no milk in the frig, and go downhill from there all day. The kids I've seen who live with someone with chronic MDD learn to be empathetic towards others, not excessively critical. Maybe some of us could learn from that.
     
  8. Imzadi

    Imzadi Saved by an angel in a trenchcoat

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    Oh! You just reminded me, a friend & I had our own bomb dog sniffing incident, which is how I know how quickly and why they respond (here in NYC) to suspicious incidences. I was able to find the post. :hyper:


    Here is the link to the original post with the time & date stamp. http://www.disboards.com/showpost.php?p=36501152&postcount=26
    I posted about it here three years ago. As brilliant as I am, I didn't make up something as a PP accused me of, just to be able to pull up the post three years later for another thread. Even I'm not that brilliant! :laughing:
     
  9. NHdisneylover

    NHdisneylover DIS Veteran

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    What an odd (and ridiculous) idea, that airports do not allow older children to watch a suitcase for a few minutes! Where did you even get such a notion? :confused3

    Have you ever traveled with children? EVER been told such a thing by official airport personnel?

    We fly a lot. We flew in early October 2001. We were flying (though Atlanta) the day Atlanta was shut down when someone ran through security that same fall. We flew out of Frankfurt, Germany only days after American servicemen were shot and killed at the curb of the airport. We have flown through New York a few times.

    Yes, I have seen full military style guns as you picture in airports from time to time. I recall being surprised the first few times I saw them (in Puerto Vallarta Mexico and in Madrid Spain in the 80s, as a child myself) but see them often enough now to no longer think much of it.

    Never once, in all that time, has there EVER been any indication that I cannot leave my kids standing or sitting by luggage while I run in the restroom or off to buy a snack or to talk to the gate agent or whatever. Never.

    Heck, if they can fly the entire way alone at 12, how can they not sit by a suitcase for 5 minutes at 11?
    I'll go back to what I said earlier. I, myself, cry easily. I understand she cried, it happens. However, the continuing to be so upset AFTER THE FACT that she considers the whole vacation ruined by this one incident and the way OP seems to blame the airline employee for her own reaction are over the top and overly emotional.

    Do I think it is weird that the airline employee said something if the kids were really fine? Yes.

    Does that mean her saying something, even if at the time it freaked OP out, is a big enough deal to still be upset about days alter, feel the vacation was ruined, etc for a mentally healthy adult? No.


    At this point I am guessing that either Reno has a big problem with people leaving kids for long times to gamble, as some mentioned-which explains why employees might be quick to notice issues, or that one or more of the kids seemed frightened and that drew the attention of the employee (like, did the 4 year old start crying for Mommy?), or something else benign but reasonable to question occurred.
     
  10. ElizabethB

    ElizabethB <font color=teal>I have a raw meat fetish. Who kne

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    To the OP:

    I think you were perfectly reasonably to leave an 11 year old to watch the luggage with a 10 year old and a smaller child.

    I am very sorry that an unreasonable agent treated you so rudely. And, I can fully appreciate that when traveling with four children, one of whom is in diapers, there is a great deal of stress. And, to be so rudely criticized for something you did -- as a mother -- that was completely reasonable, was very hurtful for you.

    I tend to have a temper, so I might well have responded with anger rather than crying -- but I don't think that would necessarily have been a better response and might well have been a worse response.

    So, I commend you for being very reasonable in your choice to leave your older children to take care of the younger one. And, I think your reaction to the rude agent is entirely justified.

    I hope you will not let this trouble you further as you were entirely in the right.
     
  11. sam_gordon

    sam_gordon DIS Veteran

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    1) If the kids had been sitting on the bench for 45 minutes to an hour, I can see someone checking on them. For 15-20 minutes? No. And again, how long can it take dad to return the rental/park the car (do we know which it was?)? I get the employee being concerned. But having kids sit by themselves for 15-20 minutes surrounded by luggage shouldn't be that concerning.
    2) I love your description of "I saw that a National Guard soldier with an AK47, ready to be lifted & aimed, was walking toward me." The bolded is how the carry their weapons. It's even evident in all the pictures you posted. It had nothing to do with you reaching for your fanny pack. As far as "the look on his face"? What did you expect him to look like?
     
  12. dadddio

    dadddio DIS Veteran

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    I completely agree.

    A lifetime ago, I worked as a gate agent and a ticket agent at an international airport that was quite a bit larger than Reno's. IF I were working as a gate agent and saw the three children with the bags, I would not even had blinked an eye at them. The most that I would do is note what flight that they were on so they and their parents didn't miss it. At the ticket counter, I might wander over to them to see if I could help them out in any way. Probably not, though.

    The truth is, kids of that age are left with the luggage for a few minutes all the time. It simply isn't a big deal. It's one of those things that might possibly cause you to keep one eye on them, but that's totally it.

    As a parent, I would probably have gone off on the agent if she spoke to me or my wife the way that the OP described. I may have insisted on speaking to her supervisor, if I felt that I had the time.
    I love that quote simply because no National Guard soldier would ever be issued an AK-47. That isn't a US weapon and looks nothing like the M16s or M4s that our troops would be carrying.
     
  13. Colleen27

    Colleen27 DIS Veteran

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    I think the latter is the far more likely possibility. The OP said she just got back, and there haven't been any specific alerts or even significant "target" dates recently. But this country has absolutely no shortage of busybodies who think any child unattended for any length of time is worth a call to CPS (heck, I've had strangers approach me to berate me for leaving my kids - one of whom will be taking drivers ed this summer - alone in the car while I ran in to the gas station), so it is very possible that either the SW agent took a report from someone like that or fits the bill herself. I doubt it had anything to do with airport security or TSA rules and everything to do with the "You can never be too careful" approach to parenting that pervades our culture.
     
  14. sam_gordon

    sam_gordon DIS Veteran

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    Good catch. I missed that. Then again, most people wouldn't be able to identify a specific weapon.
     
  15. sandramaac

    sandramaac <font color=blue>Needs to look harder...<br><font

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    Betting the original OP is sorry she ever started this thread.......:wave2:
     
  16. North of Mouse

    North of Mouse DIS Veteran

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    Actually, I can't understand why a lot of these type threads are started. They have to know, if they have read the Dis very long, that threads like these are just *asking* for all kinds of criticism, and hurtful comments. We all have very different opinions on how *anything* should be handled. My personal life belongs to me. I don't care, nor do I want to know, how others would handle my situations. Some threads are *very* personal. :confused3
     
  17. Baliezer

    Baliezer DIS Veteran

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    No I think it was interesting to read everyone's opinions. I got a lot of perspectives that I had never thought about. Although I do still think that since we were the last flight out of the day, that the ticket agent was just feeling moody. I was literally in and out of the bathroom in about a 5 minute time period. I threw away my 2 year old's clothing because it stunk so bad and I really just did not want to hassle with it.

    If everything had not happened so quickly and I had more time to think, I would have taken my four year old with me and tried to leave the luggage with the agent.

    I know I overacted but their is a little more to it than that. Last year after moving away from my friends and family, I dealt with some major depressive issues. I was able to get over it and feel like my old self again, but once in a blue moon, something will trigger it. I just get overloaded sometimes trying to juggle everything by myself.
     
  18. pixiewings71

    pixiewings71 <marquee><font color=deeppink>Sweet!!! Totally!!!!

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    :thumbsup2

    We aren't talking about NYC, or even Las Vegas, we are talking about Reno. LOL In all the times I've been to Reno (I live a few hours away) I've never seen that at the airport. Granted we don't usually fly but we normally see the airport. :) And as someone who is pretty familiar with military "conditions" and has been shooting with active duty military (who carry guns for their actual jobs) that's basically how they carry all their guns. :) I don't because I'm not trained to, but you can bet they do. lol

    I really don't think you overreacted that much, some people here just like to berate others. :) I hope you had a good vacation despite the rudeness of that agent. :)
     
  19. clarkshel

    clarkshel DIS Veteran

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    I also wanted to add that I don't fault the OP for crying. My wife does this when he gets upset, it is a normal response for some people. I do find it very hard to understand why it would effect an entire vacation and as a PP has said, why does it bother you enough to post it on here so long after? How is this even humiliating? :confused:

    And for all the other people saying that the agent was rude, how do you know this? We're you there? We are just getting the OP side of the story. People do tend to exaggerate when complaining about something.
     
  20. Baliezer

    Baliezer DIS Veteran

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    It did not effect the entire vacation. I posted the day after it happened. At the time of posting I was just unhappy that this was how the vacation ended and I did not want to reflect on this more than the fun we had. I am over it now.
     
  21. dogluva

    dogluva DIS Veteran

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    I can totally understand this-it ended horribly and it was your last memory. I also understand the crying since that is how some people react. However, I don't understand why posters don't get that people react and process things differently. Just because you don't cry and get upset doesn't mean that's the only way to behave. The meanness on this thread and the house for sale thread is over the top even for dis standards.
     
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