How to Explain Menstruation to 9 Year Old?

[newman7501]

First of all, I want to say thank you for the sharing in this thread.
I too am also very strident in my beliefs on this issue because I wish to try to help these young people have the best life that they can.
Information is essential and also the knowledge that sex is an amazing and gratifying experience. Otherwise, why would we risk swollen ankles and stretch marks, right? LOL
The original issue here was not information in and of itself but what was appropriate for a 9yr. old- We can each only offer the original poster our advice and wisdom as we know it-
I too have gay friends and family members and I love them, pure and simple, even though I don't always agree with their choices. It is not my place to judge them and not their place to judge me. Love meets people where they are, but loving them will not change my core beliefs either or how I raise my daughter.
As for the issue of sons, I have none but I can't imagine that I would raise them any differently than my DD as my brothers were raised this way and my MIL raised her boys this way. Core morals do not change according to what sex the child is.
So, I do believe that children should know whats up with their bodies-My daughter knows her body parts and what they do and I answer each q she has and basically let her lead me in how much info she requires- We also continually discuss the idea of privacy and what body parts are private-all age appropriate I think- and I'm sure by the time she's 9 she will be well prepared for her period but will I be buying her books discussing relationships and alternative lifestyles? No. Will I be teaching her to be tolerant and loving to others? Yes-

Don't forget morning sickness, sleepless nights, and big honking prenatal vitamins. LOL

 

[dizydreamer]

I am so glad that I found this posting. My DD 11 has not yet had hers but has 2 friends that are only 10 and have had theirs. She was jellous of them because they are younger than her. She has let me know the some of the girls in school aare very nervous about this. I am so glad that she was always able to talk with me about everything.
Anyways, the doctor let us know that the childs weight has a lot to do with this. The body my be ready but they have to be about 95lbs before it should begin. This fact made my DD alot happier. It seems I have a child that is looking forward to this next step in her life and is ready to wellcome it.
However I can not get her to read any of the books and it makes me nuts because it is something that will help me to help her. (but I guess I have helped her alot if she is ready. I think I am the one who is not.)
Keep talking to our kids, that is how we become better people. Thank you.

 

[mmmears]

I bought the American Girl book "The Care and Keeping of You" that other posters have mentioned. My daugher is 9 and we have been reading this book together each night before bedtime. It covers all the "girl things" about growing up, like hygeine, nutrition, shaving, braces, bras, periods, etc. It does not discuss boyfriends/girlfriends, sex, or any of the more adult issues. My friends and I have found it to be very age appropriate, our daughters really like it, and it does not cover "controversial" social issues that most 9 year olds are not ready for. The book sticks to the basics, while discussing how different girls feel about all the changes they are having, and is very reassuring. I cant say enough about it!

 

[crisi]

I wonder if tampon use is a generational thing? My mother NEVER used them, I did as soon as I had three or four periods in a row, and my daughter did literally the second day of her first period, and has never used anything else.

I wonder how many people, if any, still associate tampon use in girls with sexuality? I seem to remember that was an issue when I was a teen, at least with my mom. Something along the lines of "nice girls don't." Wonder if she thought it would lead to some nefarious goings-on once I discovered how to use them??!!

Of course, my mom never used an ATM and didn't like to make left hand turns in her car, so go figure...

I think its a fit thing. I'm 40, I've been sexually active for years, I'm fairly "modern" and "liberal" in my opinions and actions, and every tampon I've ever tried feels like some medieval torture device - at best, they are uncomfortable. At worse, I cramp. I'll wear them occationally to swim with my kids, but that is about the only thing that gets a tampon inside me. I've spent my "adult" life avoiding the pool during my period, it really isn't fun to swim when you aren't comfortable anyway.

My take on my daughter (who is currently six) will be "you can use a tampon if you want to swim." With luck she will be built differently. But, if she asks why I don't wear them, I'll have to tell her I don't find them comfortable.

 

[eeyore45]

(crisi - I'm older, and after birthin my babies - 10#ers I have a dropped bladder issue problem - the only tampon I can use is OB tampons, and they discontinued their 'holder putter in thingy' but the short style is much more comfortable, the thinner ones are also very very comfie...

 

[crisi]

(crisi - I'm older, and after birthin my babies - 10#ers I have a dropped bladder issue problem - the only tampon I can use is OB tampons, and they discontinued their 'holder putter in thingy' but the short style is much more comfortable, the thinner ones are also very very comfie...

Thinner ones drop out and the ob ones aren't comfortable. I've tried most brands over the years, and pretty much everything recommended. And I'm just not "built" for tampons. Not complaining, just explaining - I'm happy with pads - the few times I have to swim, I can stand one.

Shame, cause I really am tempted to try a Diva Cup - but I know I can't stand anything touching my cervix.

 

[mum4jenn]

I got The Care and Keeping of You off of Ebay for my 8 year old. I read it first to make sure it was ok for her. My dd and my 13 yr old niece had spent the night together and the niece gave my dd lots of really BAD information!! I had known I would need to talk to her soon but once I found this out I could not put it off any longer. She read that book cover to cover and has several times and has asked me questions which I answered.

Seems like there is a website called "being girl" that has info and I think kits as well.

 

[mom2minniemouse]

www.divacup.com

I started using this about six months ago and cannot tell you enough how much better than a tampon it is. Yes, it takes some getting used to for insertion and removal, but I can't feel it when it's in now that I insert it correctly. It's the best money I've ever spent. DD had a HUGE noggin, and she has ruined me for tampons for life. LOL! She's 7 and hasn't started her period yet, but I plan on suggesting the Diva (along w/pads and tampons) to her when she's big enough to use one. I would assume she might not be able to use one when she's, say, 10, but maybe when she's in her mid- to late- teens.

 

[Mommy2Lots]

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[vhoffman]

Thanks for the links, however, when I clicked on one (Being Girl) it said "...for information about ****s, boys, .........." Whaaa????????????? Excuse me, I always called them 'breasts'. I suppose the correct term is '****s'? That's not how I want to teach my daughter to talk. Let's see, I guess its "down there" instead of ******, 'ding dong' instead of *****, of course, also "****s". Well, that's why I screen materials before giving them to her. Of course, I can't filter out the world, and she's bound to see and hear inappropriate things, but at least I can guide her as to what's correct and what isn't.

Just last night dd came and told me she never wanted to go to college. When asked why she said "because she didn't want to kiss girls". I finally figured out she had seen that "Girls Gone Wild" advertisement, supposed college girls on break, fondling and kissing one another, all but naked (they only blipped out the absolute minimum,leaving nothing to the imagination). I explained to her that those were actors, not college students. Nice girls don't act that way, and they certainly don't kiss and fondle each other. How do I know? I spent 4 years in a college dorm! Wouldn't it be tragic if dd thought that was acceptable behavior and tried it out while at a sleepover or at camp? She would only be doing what she had held up in front of her as acceptable. Or what if she read the BeingGirl website and started calling them "****s"? Geeeez, guess I have to just teach her what's appropriate.

I've yet to get the American Girl books, hope they're better. Or maybe the suggestion to try a religious bookstore. I can just see it---the mother feeds the baby from her ****s. They baby comes out her *****. The daddy uses his ding dong to get the mother knocked up! Oh, where have I gone wrong--I always called them breasts!

 

[vhoffman]

How interesting! I see b o o b s can't get past the Disboard filter, yet its acceptable in educational materials written for young girls. Who writes that garbage, anyways? Good work Disboards, at least someone tries to have some standards!

 

[dementia412]

Hope your explainations go well.

 

[baileygirlsmom]

Here is a website that might help, I also bought a couple of books at Christianbooks.com
http://www.4girls.gov/index.htm

I have an 8 1/2 year old that is very tall and developed for her age, we had the talk back at Easter break, about killed me to do it, but she would have been terrified if she would have started (she hasn't yet, but not long I fear!) Hope this helps.

 

[Longsx3]

Just wanted to say that this is a great topic, DD (2 weeks shy of 10) and I have briefly talked about sex. There was a girl in Germany who claimed she was raped and it turned out to be a lie, needless to say she had lots of questions, her final comment was if that is what you do to get pregnant I never want to have babies! 6 months later she is concerned that the boy delivering news papers saw her in her speedo ...now he knows exactly how flat chested she is!!, LOL.
Back to the topic:
We have discussed menstration a few times but not too in depth, probabt due to the fact that I had a hysterectomy in 2001 and so there isn't an opportune time, KWIM?? We do have the AG books so I guess we may bring those back out.

 

[baileygirlsmom]

Here is one of the book I bought:

http://graphics.christianbook.com/g/tiny/0/00208.gif

 

[Mommy2Lots]

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[Mommy2Lots]

did the second one help, though?

 

[jodifla]

Though I want my kids to be emotionally and physically ready before having a sexual relationship, I don't want them necessarily to wait until they are married. I don't want them getting married until they are in their late 20"s and have gone to college and started a career, and I think its unrealistic to think they will wait that long to have sex.

My DD (12) is already focused on college and a career and will tell you that she will have a baby one day after she has finished college and is successul journalist.

My children are informed about the risks of sex and how to mimize them. I will get my daughter the vaccine for HPV so that will not be a worry.

The "rules' about sex you talk about do stem for centuries of trying to control female sexuality. The prizing of virginity in females has led to unbelievable atrocities throughout the world (honor killings, female gential mutilations, chastity belts etc.) So, other people may want to go back to the days where an intact hymen was the most important feature in a young woman, but I'll pass on that mentality thank you very much.

ITA! Couldn't have written it any better myself. It would be sad to launch ourselves back to the 1950s, where everyone got married at 18 just so they could have sex, then realize a few years later they'd hitched themselves to the wrong person for life.

And on another note, to me, the height of hypocrisy is trying to tell your kids to follow a behaviour you weren't able to.

I agree that the OP should talk about the whole story sooner as opposed to later. I overheard an interesting conversation last year as I was looking for furniture at the Salvation Army that I could paint and use downstairs in one of our spare rooms. I woman there, probably in her 50s, was telling a companion how she got pregnant when she was a young teen. Basically, she said no one had told her about sex, so a boy just convinced her that what they were doing wasn't a problem. She got pregnant the first time, and didn't even realize what had happened. Knowledge is power.

 

[KJMAX1]

I have seen the care and Keeping of You book at Target numerous times. I believe its in the 14.00 range.

 

[lee]

Here's a strange question. Would you encourage your daughter to use pads or would you let her use tampons? My daughter is 8 and quickly developing also. I've explained the mechanics of everything, but this question stumps me.