How to break it to the kids that I am going without them??

[DizzyStitch]

My DH and I did our honeymoon at WDW. My kids knew where we were (4th and 1st grader) and it was tough. Either don't tell them or find a way to take them. First grade still isn't that bad to make up. Especially since much of what they are teaching is probably stuff you do with your child all the time. Hoep the plan works out.

 

[Disneyfied4]

We would not go to Disney without our kids! Most of the fun for us at Disney is to watch the pure joy in our kids faces!

Honesty is ALWAYS the best decision. Don't lie to your child or they will lie to you. You'll be teaching them that lying is acceptable.

Don't worry about school.....our 4th grade son has been working a grade ahead of his class in Math, Reading and English for several years. We have taken him out for ONE FULL week every year since Kindergarten. (He has earned straight A's every Quarter)

The ticket is free, right? So you're really not losing money and integrity is priceless. Let your mom take a friend.

DO THE RIGHT THING! It is NEVER easy. Be an example to your child and make a selfless sacrifice.

Don't TAINT your Disney memories with a selfish decision. Wait until you can go with your children.

 

[1rockinmamato2]

When I was a little girl, I would have been absolutely devastated to find out that either of my parents went to WDW without me. But, now, at the age of 37...if I found out they went and didn't tell me, it would be hilarious. And I surely wouldn't wonder, OH NOES!!! What else did they lie to me about??? Give me a break. I am sure my parents lied to me on a daily basis to protect my health, safety and feelings. And thank goodness for that. I'm tired of people using "well, it's the truth" whenever someone's feelings are hurt by something someone did or said.

As parents, we are surely entitled to take whatever trips we want. But, a white lie here is justifiable. I would totally spare their feelings. They don't *need* to know about the WDW part of the trip with grandma.

Have fun on your trip.

 

[bmalonef45]

Leaving Sunday for my 3rd trip without the kids, and the second trip without DW. The kids think its more of a golf trip with a buddy as it was planned but we've decided to just enjoy WDW instead. Take a behind the scenes tour and visit bars and restaurants that we usually wouldn't visit with the families. When we bought our DVC we knew this was an option and have used it that way. The kids have reaped the benefits and know they are lucky. They are going on their 3rd cruise in May and will be spending 4 days at WDW when we get off the boat. Most of their friends have only been to WDW once and they know that because they are "members" of Disney (as they say) they are lucky. They also know Dad will bring them back a lot of guilt stuff. BTW, we're still telling most non-disney friends that we're playing golf.

 

[jlindemer]

Would anyone here actually RESENT not having been told that by their parents years ago? Come on!

No, I would not resent it if my parents went on an adult trip. I have plenty of other things to resent them for.

 

[squirrel]

I'm taking my niece who is in first grade to WDW for 2 weeks. She will miss 8 days of school.

She knows next year, I will be taking her little sister for a turn at WDW. She won't like it but she has been to both DL and WDW already - so it is her sister's turn.

I wouldn't lie about where you are going. Telling her that you are going to spend time with Grandma is the way to go. If she asks where you are going tell the truth, Florida. Unless she asks if you are going to WDW, I wouldn't tell.

 

[badblackpug]

Whether, or not, to take your kids out of school is a personal decision. Some people are not comfortable doing it, some schools attendance policies do not allow for it. I completely understand the OP not wanting to take her child out of school.

You are not "selfish" for going on vacation, any vacation, without your kids. Just because you become a parent does not mean you lose your identity. Wanting adults only time is not selfish.

I would tell them the truth. Tell them you are going with your mother and that you plan to do a lot of adults only things. Explain to them that just like the way they like to spend time with their mommy (you!) you like to spend special time with your mom. Tell them you will bring them something special, and that when you come home they can help you plan another trip for the whole family for a time when they don't have school. (this won't lock you into an exact date) Maybe even give your older daughter a Disney World for kids book before you go and tell her to read it while you are gone and mark the special things she really wants to see and do and then she can use that to help you plan your next trip.

Have a great time, relax and enjoy yourself!

 

[JUJU814]

No, I would not resent it if my parents went on an adult trip. I have plenty of other things to resent them for.

LOL No kidding! Let's spend that hard earned money at the therapist talking about the important stuff!

 

[JPN4265]

Kids, I am going to Disney World, and your not. Deal with it.


or



Kids, I am going to Disney World without you, Why? Because I said so, that's why.


or

Because I'm the mom, that's why..

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

I don't think you are terrible. Every Mom needs time to recharge her batteries and you shouldn't feel guilty for going without the kids.

I did my first ever trip without the kids at the end of April 09 and it was fantastic. I just told them I was going to Disney alone (it was my Mother's Day gift from DH).

They were fine with it and I did make sure to talk with them every day when they got home from school. And made sure to bring them back a couple of souveniers.

 

[DisneyWalker44]

Kids, I am going to Disney World, and your not. Deal with it.

Exactly. No need to raise delicate snowflakes. Life isn't fair and you don't always get what you want. Good time to start learning that lesson.

 

[WDmommyof4]

Maybe my children are just well adjusted or perhaps they have just not been coddled. When I decided to take a short three night trip over a weekend with my mom, two sisters (who also left their children behind), and my 81 year old aunt, there was not so much as a sniffle from them. We had just gone on a family trip in March of that year and in May when I told them I was going to Disney with Gammie and that I would take them again next year they were perfectly fine with it. I called them each day.

Now, I will say even though they didn't cry, I did lol. I bawled like a baby the afternoon we were there because it was the first and only time that I have ever gone anywhere without my children. It was a nice getaway. Will I likely do it again? Nope but it was nice while it lasted. My advice is to be open and honest with your children, as that is likely how you would like them to be with you.

As for the posters who said that they couldn't fathom someone not telling their kids the whole truth because they would wonder what else you weren't telling them. Do you not tell your children that there is a Santa, Tooth Fairy, or Easter Bunny? Seems to me that may be a little untruthful, but I am sure your children recovered. My way is to tell the kids about the trip beforehand, but someone else may find it easier to do it another way. To each his own.

 

[newlife]

i recently made my first "solo" trip to WDW. i did feel guilty leaving my son at home even though he is 21. he works and does night classes at college. every trip i made to the world had been with my family so i did feel a bit guilty.

i explained to him my reasons why i went and he understood and told me to go and have a good time. since my divorce and everything that surrounds it, this was not an amicable split, i needed the time to get away from everything and for the first time in many many years do something for just myself.

it helps that both of my sons are older, 19 away at school in west virginia, 21 home, i dont think i could have done this if they were younger.

 

[luvgoing2disney]

Everybody and every family is different, but I would not think of going to Disney without my son, aged 16 1/2. It's his favorite place as well, and although my wife has mentioned it a time or two, I just will not consider it. We go on other trips alone, (but not too many of those) but I would never think of going to Disney without him while he is at home. Now when he goes to college, it will be different, but not now. Too many memories of the things we have done and still like to do together at the parks. If I went there without him, I believe it would put a damper on the trip thinking, "I wish he were here. to do....."

But that's just me.

 

[mariepapa]

I would tell them. My parents used to go to Europe every year without me as a kid. I wanted to go and asked why I could not. The reply was because it was an adults only trip. They said I could go when I got older. And I did! As other posters mentioned, you need a little rest and recreation time. In this case though, do not mention the other trip until it is set in stone.

Why do people always worry about what their kids are going to think these days? You are the parent.It used to be the norm for adults to go away on their own without the kids. You won't scar them for life. Kids are too coddled these days.

 

[ShannonMB]

Maybe my children are just well adjusted or perhaps they have just not been coddled. When I decided to take a short three night trip over a weekend with my mom, two sisters (who also left their children behind), and my 81 year old aunt, there was not so much as a sniffle from them. We had just gone on a family trip in March of that year and in May when I told them I was going to Disney with Gammie and that I would take them again next year they were perfectly fine with it. I called them each day.

Now, I will say even though they didn't cry, I did lol. I bawled like a baby the afternoon we were there because it was the first and only time that I have ever gone anywhere without my children. It was a nice getaway. Will I likely do it again? Nope but it was nice while it lasted. My advice is to be open and honest with your children, as that is likely how you would like them to be with you.

As for the posters who said that they couldn't fathom someone not telling their kids the whole truth because they would wonder what else you weren't telling them. Do you not tell your children that there is a Santa, Tooth Fairy, or Easter Bunny? Seems to me that may be a little untruthful, but I am sure your children recovered. My way is to tell the kids about the trip beforehand, but someone else may find it easier to do it another way. To each his own.

Interesting, thought provoking post. At first I was a little offended by the well-adjusted, coddled part. But I will say that my DD (an only child, treated like a princess since day 1) probably IS coddled, I can admit it. Not sure about the well-adjusted part -- she does wonderful in school, treats all adults and her peers with respect, has friends, and obeys our rules. I asked her how she would feel if I went to Disney without her, and she looked at me like this Then she said, "Seriously, you would never do that, right??? No, Mom, SERIOUSLY, you would never do that, RIGHT??".

You hit the nail on the head with the Santa thing. Kids do not need to know the cold, hard reality of the world at the age of 5. Sorry, that's ridiculous (to a different poster).

 

[marie1203]

My parents when to WDW alone once and they just told us they needed time for themselves it wasn't a big deal to us.

 

[larryz]

Sorry you can't understand a 16 year old's sense of humor.

Oh... I got the impression from your post she wasn't joking...

 

[Rainkiss]

My thought is that I would not LIE to the kids. They'll forgive a lot, but they may well not forget being lied to, particularly about a Disney trip. I'd explain that I was going away for a vacation with MY Mom for some special mom-daughter time, and that I'd bring them back some presents. No need to bring up that it's Disney until you get back... and if they ask, tell them you don't want to spoil the surprise of the presents you'll bring back.

Watch for Bounceback offers while you're there. If you can get next year's trip planned before you get back, I expect that'd make a nice consolation gift.

 

[Rainkiss]

My thought is that I would not LIE to the kids. They'll forgive a lot, but they may well not forget being lied to, particularly about a Disney trip. I'd explain that I was going away for a vacation with MY Mom for some special mom-daughter time, and that I'd bring them back some presents. No need to bring up that it's Disney until you get back... and if they ask, tell them you don't want to spoil the surprise of the presents you'll bring back.

Watch for Bounceback offers while you're there. If you can get next year's trip planned before you get back, I expect that'd make a nice consolation gift.