How do you feel about DH giving you a vacuum for Mother's Day.

[Anna114]

My husband does not give me a gift for Mother's Day.... I'm not his Mom (thank God lol) but when we were broke it would have made a great gift... now, not so much.

 

[NotUrsula]

It's not that I don't like vacuums, they serve a great purpose. I just think the idea of giving your wife a vacuum as a present is kind of insulting. The vacuum is for the entire household's benefit, it's not really for the recipient.

Well, that would depend on who normally does the vacuuming, now wouldn't it? A gadget that lessens the work that a person has to do around the house can be a wonderful gift, because it makes that person's burder lighter.

I remember the year that my father bought my mother a floor waxer for her birthday. She LOVED it -- because it meant that she would never have to get down on her hands and knees to wax the hardwood floors ever again.

 

[Samar]

I sit on both sides of this topic. On the one side, I too was raised where house items were NOT gifts HOWEVER my husband has purchased practical gifts for me that I really couldn't gripe about. lol

He bought me a clip on bookmark light when we first got married so I wouldn't keep him awake (this was pre kids when I'd stay up and read late), an iPod nano auxillary cord for the van, a watch, etc. He has bought me some non-practical gifts as well but I am just saying that none of these was a vacuum

 

[Granny square]

My husband does not give me a gift for Mother's Day.... I'm not his Mom (thank God lol) but when we were broke it would have made a great gift... now, not so much.

So true. We don't give each other mother or Father's Day gifts. I always thought that was strange. A push by the diamond companies started that new aspect of the Hallmark holiday push!

 

[wallawallakids]

I would LOVE a new vacuum for Mother's Day!! I really need one. It is funny this has come up because my husband is in OPs camp. He always feels like he shouldn't get me appliances for gifts and he couldn't be more wrong. It's like his mom brainwashed him into thinking he can't! But after 13 years of marriage he is finally coming around. There is nothing I love more than an appliance. Heck if he bought me a new food processor I would be over the moon! (Mine just broke. ) But that is me. And I get why others would not want it. I have no need for candy, clothes or jewelry. Now a trip to Disney, maybe.

I do want to say that although he has given into giving me appliances he always gets me something else to go with it. And this year he got me PINK tickets for my birthday which is probably the BEST gift he has ever given me, so he can get away with giving me nothing for the next 36 months and I will not even care.

 

[lovewdwdvc]

I would take a vacuum any day and be grateful.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

The thing I hope people to take away from this thread is that gifts don't have to be either "housewares" or "Jewelry and flowers" There are plenty of fun gifts out there that don't fit in either category.

There is not enough room to type every unpractical/fun gift out there and jewelry and flowers are the most common, so that is going to be what is talked about the most.

You mentioned clothing- not everyone likes clothing and would hate a shopping trip. I have to drag my mother kicking and screaming sometimes just to get her to pick out new items when hers are beginning to look very, very worn.

Trips- Not everyone likes solo trips. I personally love them but I can't afford them plus a family vacation, so they don't happen very often.

Spa trips- same thing as clothing, certain people have to be dragged kicking and screaming and would not appreciate the thought behind the gift.

I personally don't get why someone would care one way or another what someone else got as long as the someone else was happy with it. Just because someone else finds vacuums to be wonderful gifts doesn't mean you have to get one yourself. Obviously your husband understands what you like for gifts, so I don't think you have to worry about it.

 

[malibuconlee]

If it's more expensive than something I would normally buy I'm OK with it. I asked for and got a Roomba a couple of years ago for Valentines Day!

Although I do have to admit my husband bought me a canopener as one of my Christmas gifts this year. It was thoughtful, I was having issues with the hand opener I had and he thought this one looked nice enough to be on the counter

I've also gotten Kitchenaid Mixer and a Kitchenaid food processor as Christmas presents and was thrilled with both. Again, not something I would go out and buy myself, but loved them and use them all the time!

 

[Princess Disney Mom]

I would be thrilled. I love a good vacuum.

Sent from my iPhone using DISBoards

 

[ImDMous]

I don't want any gift that entails me doing more work.

If my dh wanted to buy me a vacuum, it better have a maid attached to the end of it.

Exactly!! Things that are required to keep house are not gift, they are household expenses. Only appropriate if I specifically ask for it and tell him exactly what I want.

 

[Dusti1960]

I would like it. Its something I can use.

 

[StephMK]

I would be happy if it's a specialty item that I specifically requested. I like practical things, if they are fancier than just normal household items. I was not thrilled when DH gave me oven mitts but actually love them now. They are really thick and I don't burn my hands at all. So he did put some thought in there though it was a little disappointing at the time.

He has also given me jewelry in the past and I love what he gave me. He knows I don't need anymore and prefer decorating things or items for the house now.

I am planning to pick out a KitchenAid mixer for Christmas and he can give me that. I will be thrilled because I have been eyeing them for some time!

 

[FLCyndi]

I would live it!

 

[Jedana]

DH bought me a coffee maker for Christmas one year.


In his defense, on Christmas Eve morning, my old one bit the dust. I was not going to even attempt to go shopping--I was just going to bite the bullet for a couple of days and live without the nectar of the gods.

DH braved the stores on Christmas Eve (after getting off work) to find me a coffee maker. Got me a very nice one too--brewed into a carafe that kept the coffee warm for about 6 hours!

He also bought me a diamond necklace. He scored very high on the husband scale that morning!

Edited to add: Year before last, I got a washer and dryer for Christmas (although early, one in October, one in November). Old dryer bit the dust in Oct, washer was about there come black Friday. Very nice pair too.

I'm not his mom, so he shouldn't give me anything for Mother's day. That's my kids job. He has to do something for his mom (and on his own too---he's a grown man and can handle things himself). I would do something for my mom, but she's been gone for over 30 years now. Neither one of us has a dad (his bio dad left before he was born, stepdad left when he was about 12 and never looked back, mine passed on almost 7 years ago), so the only thing that happens on Father's day is what the kids do for him.

 

[Gorechick]

I was thrilled when I got a Dyson for our anniversary to replace the Hoover canister vac that had duct tape on its hose and was about 10 years old.

 

[bumbershoot]

A friend of mine posted a pic on Facebook of the new vacuum her DH had bought her for Mother's Day. I was raised in a home, where if my Dad had given my Mom housewares he would have slept outside. Housewares were not a gift, they were a purchase that was made for the home. My DH would never by me a vacuum as a gift.

I must admit, that when I saw the pic of the vacuum, I thought to myself, "How awful" but I dare not post . My mother on the other hand is now 80 and has lost much of her filter. Apparently, she's FB friends with my friend. She posted exactly what she thought of that vacuum! While I agreed with my Mom's sentiment, I had to cringe when I saw her post.

But what did your friend think of it? You haven't said.

And how did your friend react to your mom's feelings?

How the friend thought of it is the ONLY thing that matters when it comes to presents given to HER.

I wish I could read what your mom posted! As far as I'm concerned, an 80 year old can say whatever they please.

Yikes! Come on over here, meet my MIL. Spend some time with her and see if you really feel that way anymore. Second time she met me, first words: "you got so fat! How'd you get so fat???? I barely recognize you you got so fat!" I'd gained maybe 10 lbs.

I live in condo building that's an unofficial retirement building. My next door neighbor is nearing 100. I am SO glad that I've gotten to live here, gotten to know people of advanced age in this way, to see that they are all humans, and some are kind, some are weird, some are ruder than others (no one here, actually, pretty much talking about my MIL again), etc etc. No one is allowed to say whatever they want just b/c of age, IMO.

How would I feel about it? I would be wondering why my husband is buying me a Mother's Day gift when I'm not his mother!

I have sons, so we've been very careful to make sure they know that I'm unusual in my gift aversion!

Definitely good to make sure that they understand that everyone is different. DH and I have had definite growing pains as he gets rid of the voice of his mother, who believes that jewelry is the answer to it all and that any woman who says otherwise is lying and a man will "get in trouble" if he doesn't give jewelry. Caused problems even from our engagement, since I had my grandma's ring that I wanted to wear and he insisted over all of my protests and explanations that that could not happen. Engagement-ring-Gate ensued.

Took years to get him to stop buying me dead flowers (aka bouquets). If I want that, I'll buy it. People talk about a vacuum meaning more work for the recipient? Bouquets are the worst! Constant maintenance, a need for vases (or a place for vases if the flowers come in them), those become something to dust (or think about dusting), and soon enough the flowers turn rank and it all must be cleaned. Second worst thing I've ever smelled were beyond-dead Peonies in a vase. But I got smart and had DH-then-fiance clean that up. Helped to cure him of the flower thing!

It's important to know the person you're in the relationship with, and let ALL OTHER peoples' opinions go by the wayside.

er.

The point of a gift IMO is to get something that you know the receiver is going to love.

Exactly.

Just wondering why those who say they want practical gifts like housewares think that other gift are dust collectors or wasteful. My Dh takes me shopping to pick out clothes, or sends me away for a girls weekend, etc. These are things I would never do for myself. (When we met, I was 24 and was still wearing clothes I owned in HS, not cause I didn't have money, but because I just never shop for myself.). He reminds me that I need to be pampered on occasion.

Because that's what they think of.

You think of clothing and vacations as gifts, because that's what you have received and what you like. I know of no IRL friends that would EVER consider clothing to be a gift.

A year ago, buying me clothing would have been dreadful. Shopping trips used to turn me into a sobbing mess. (see weight loss ticker in my sig for why I don't cry anymore while buying clothes) If I bought clothes for my husband for a gift, it would be horrible. It would ruin the day, just destroy it for him, because he still hates his body size and the clothes he has to get.

We've done trips as birthday gifts, but many people don't. It's all based on what you experience. And what most people think of as gifts.

It's not that I don't like vacuums, they serve a great purpose. I just think the idea of giving your wife a vacuum as a present is kind of insulting. The vacuum is for the entire household's benefit, it's not really for the recipient.

But if the reality in your household is that one person does the vacuuming, and the vacuum is picked out with that person in mind, then it isn't just for the household. In my household, 99% of the time I'm the one vacuuming. I like it. And honestly I'd like a good vacuum. I'm never going to buy one; I'll keep buying the cheapies every few years. OK maybe if we ever get a dog I'll get a nicer one, but not until then. A nice vacuum that fits ME would be lovely, and while the household can enjoy the cleaner floors and less sneezing from me b/c of less dust in the house, the actual item IS going to be used by me, and therefore it is "for" me.

I can't imagine anything being "insulting" as a gift. That is insulting in my book. "Gee hon, I know you thought you were doing something nice but that isn't good enough for me."

I see it differently. To me, it's more insulting than to dislike something you're given and not speak up. I would HATE to find out that someone disliked a present I gave them, but kept it and never used it. Talk about a waste of money! Return it, let me return it, let's get something you like. It's not insulting to me to be told "that wasn't quite right, I'd really love xyz instead".

This has also taken DH time to get used to, because he was always *told* in his house growing up that you could say that about a gift, but what would result was a day of guilt from his mother and yelling from his father. He learned to suck it up. With me, that doesn't fly.

Last night he surprised me by cashing in his change at the coinstar and getting me gift cards to all 3 places!

That is so adorable!

What is with everyone thinking that not wanting housewares as a gift means that you are not practical, or that you want Jewlery and Flowers?

I don't think buying something for the house is a gift. I also don't wear Jewlery, don't want flowers, and don't eat candy.

Buy me something for me. Last year DH sent me to WDW for my 40th birthday I had a few days solo (Heaven!) and then him and the kids met me for the last few days. Best gift I ever recieved.

Because that is what people think of. They think of it because they think of it.

I spent my 40th at Disneyland, but with my family. To do a solo trip for it, for me, wouldn't have been much fun. What works for you doesn't work for others.


And what mght have worked for your friend who got the vacuum (though I'm not sure you posted if it did work for her) doesn't work for you. Assuming your friend liked the vacuum, aren't you glad she has HER husband and you have YOURS?



Lastly, DH's birthday present this year was a Keurig coffee maker. He was ECSTATIC. Got him the Platinum version, too. I've never seen him so happy over a gift.

Last year Mother's Day my son (and hubby) bought me a Polar heart rate monitor, which I was VERY happy about.

It's all so personal, what we like and hate!

 

[mrzrich]

Ok....ok...I guess to each his own, just was drilled into me from an early age that appliances were not gift. And I need to make clear that I hear you on the clothes, the year DH took me shopping it was because I had lost 75 lbs and was still wearing 24 when I should have been in14's. I also don't want flowers, jewelry or candy, so I guess I'm a pain to buy for. Lol.

But this whole thread has brought up a new question. Many of you have stated that you don't expect to be acknowledged by DH on Mother's Day. Maybe my Mom was a prima Donna and I never realized, but my dad always acknowledged her as the mother of his children. My DH in turn does the same with me. I mean I'm not talking a high priced vacuum or anything (tongue in cheek)....but he at least takes care of the kids that day so I can relax, and he makes sure that I don't have to cook by either taking me out or making a nice meal. And let's face it, any gifts I get from the kids were either made under his supervision, or purchased with his money.

 

[BadgerGirl84]

I would love a practical gift for any holiday. I am really not one for collecting a lot of material posessions (the one thing I love spending money on is travel), so I am very happy to get practical gifts I will actually use.

I could go my whole life without getting another candle or soap. Well, scratch that, the soap is welcome because I actually use it.

Regarding DH recognizing his wife on Mother's Day, yes I would expect that. Especially if the children are small and don't have their own money or can't go shopping on their own. Heck, my baby is still in the womb and DH has already asked me what I'd like to do on Mother's Day and also for some gift ideas.

 

[kermiebudge]

As un-romantic as it may seem, both my DH and I often get each other presents for Christmas, birthdays, etc. that will be useful to the whole house.

It's a joint effort, so that we can save our $$$ for MORE DISNEY!!!

 

[almburr]

If DH gave me a toaster then he would be in the dog house. But if he gave me a professional knives, and cookware he would be thanked very well!

Everybody is different in what they think is an ideal gift. I love cookware and fitness equipment, Dh knows that these are the things I drool over.