How do you feel about child harness?

[Suellen]

I would never use one. I think they are dangerous for one (the wrist kind especially) and the others just look too much like walking a pet to me. I too feel bad for the leashed child. Most of the time parent is looking elsewhere and not at the child and seems as though the parent just doesn't want to be bothered with looking after their own child.

That said - I would never say anything to someone using it - really it is none of my business what you do with your child.

I'm sure I was judged plenty - and probably still am for some of the things I do with my children. For example - if theynwant to bring "it" in the park - whatever "it" happens to be they are responsible for carrying it all day. I don't care if it is 50lbs worth of stuff in a backpack. You bring it - you carry it. Where as I bring nothing to the park so I carry nothing. Mean mom? Maybe - but our family - our rules - so I don't care what other people think.

Do what you need to and don't worry about others.

And oh boy - a bus sitting thread AND a leash thread in one weekend!

 

[Hannathy]

Absolutely HATE them. Never used them and never will and hate seeing kids in them.

And it doesn't mean that children need to be "strapped" in strollers or even stay in strollers all the time, And it doesn't mean kids have to walk around holding their arm up all day or even holding hands all the time. There are other ways.

 

[Music City Mama]

There are a lot of things that I thought I knew about parenting before actually becoming one. Then, when we had our second, I realized that everything I thought I knew about "kids" I only knew about my eldest, because almost none of it applied to him.

Completely agree!

To answer the question, I never had to use one, but I can see where some people would feel the need to.

 

[MolonLabe]

It is, what it is.

Some children have special needs and a tether is required.

Some children are just active and...well it is what it is.

As a father of three, I can say the vast majority of tether usage I see is lazy parents, unwilling to control their children. In such case the term leash is extremely appropriate as their "animal" runs wild causing those around them to have to deal with a wild brat causing havoc within a six foot swath and "sorry about that" being constantly uttered by a person lacking the ability or will to control their off spring.

If you choose to use such a device, you (and not the device) still need to control your child.

This post shouldn't offend any responsible parent or those who use a tether as a fail safe as opposed to a control device.

 

[larryz]

I use the word leash for lack of another word.

I see many others have suggested the word "tether." Even NASA agrees that they're sometimes necessary, as they require their astronauts to wear them so they don't drift away while outside the space station.

 

[lynypixie]

I totaly understand the need for special needs kids.

For the rest, I just can't bring myself to it. I have 3 young kids, and my yougest hates the stroller. Well, I taugh her to stay around me when she is not in the stroller.

I've seen too many parents pull their kids who are on a tantrum and are flat on the ground. I don't know if you understand (I'm french, so I have a limited vocabulary), but it's an aweful sight. Plus, I think the cord is dangerous in a dense crowd.

So no, while it would sometimes be useful with my little one, I will never get there. My daughter is perfectly healthy, and perfectly capable of listening to what I say. If she is too wild, I have either the stroller or my ergo carrier, where she can calm down and be comfortable. And if she needs to let go some energy, I find some place safe where she can run wild and free for a while.

 

[GreenCntryGirl]

I'm answering the title of your question:

I feel that they make children look like a pet. Not a fan.

 

[erincon23]

When DS20 was little, he wouldn't run, but he was easily distracted (and still is, lol) and would stop to look at things, wander off toward something shiny, whatever. I bought a tether that hooked to his little belt loops or overall straps, and we used it at the mall. He actually liked it -- he knew he wouldn't get lost from me, but he didn't have to be right with me all the time. Of course, I watched him everywhere, but when there are crowds, sometimes people get between you and the child. The tether helps make sure that nobody can do that, and you just have to know when it's safe to use one -- lighter crowds --and when you have to have a tighter grip on your child -- heavier crowds. I'd rather endure the stares and opinions of others than worry about where my child was.

But I'd suggest you try it out with him before you go so he's used to it and you know how he behaves with it -- go to the mall or somewhere else where there are some crowds and distractions, and talk with him about why you're using it ("Mommy wants you to be able to look at the things you like, and walk instead of be in the stroller if you want to, but it would make Mommy very sad and scared if she didn't know where you were.So that's why we're going to use this -- only when we have to -- to keep you safe and happy.")

 

[Bagheera23608]

As someone who doesn't have kids, by choice, but who DOES work in a very large children's museum - I heart them. Sure there are pros and cons to them. There are also pros and cons to letting your "runner" loose in a VERY crowded area. Can they get hurt because some bozo clotheslines them? Yes. Can they get hurt running around and tripping over a curb? Yes. Can the tether be abused? Yes. Can a non-observant parent cause a child to hurt themselves b/c they aren't paying attention? Yup. Anything can happen - it depends on you and your child and what other people think is not your concern.

I do resent the they-make-your-child-look-like-a-pet arguements. I love my dog as my child and I keep him on a leash when I need to BECAUSE I love him. He goes off leash when it's safe. There is no difference. You are responsible for the safety of your child and I am responsible for the safety of my pet. How WE as the parent/owner decide to do that is our business and no one else's.

You might get dirty looks, but I wish you strength and luck! Don't worry about what other folks think!

 

[Shannon12]

We used one last week for my 18 month old daughter. My 2 1/2 year old son would have used one too when he was that age but by 2 1/2 learned to stay close. It was a God send for my daughter who will cry the entire time in a stroller and does not really understand yet not to run away.

I had NUMEROUS people asking me where they could get one, and not a single snide comment or sideways glance. It let her get up and walk off the energy while staying close to me and not having to hold up her sweaty little arm all day.

I love the people who say oh no not my child...well congrats, you have a perfect angel. Most people do not.

 

[budafam]

I'm not a fan of them. I think they make children & parents look silly BUT if that's what you feel you need to keep your child safe, by all means use it.

 

[minnie mum]

OP you are getting opinions on both sides of this subject, which is what you asked for. So far it has been quite a civil discussion, compared to past threads on the same subject. (Try doing a search for 'child harness'- there have been some VERY nasty ones). I only say this to warn you of what could happen here.

I didn't have to use them when our children were little, but my very good friend had to use it as a last resort for one of her sons- a little boy who was a joy to be around inside the home, but who turned into a perpetual runner outside. He survived the tether just fine; it didn't scar him psychologically for life, and his parents didn't have to dread taking him anywhere.

Do what you need to do for your child's safety and your peace of mind. And ignore any stink eyes or snide remarks directed your way.

 

[DonaldTDuck]

Absolutely HATE them. Never used them and never will and hate seeing kids in them.

And it doesn't mean that children need to be "strapped" in strollers or even stay in strollers all the time, And it doesn't mean kids have to walk around holding their arm up all day or even holding hands all the time. There are other ways.

I notice you don't offer any of the other ways. A parent must use what works for them. Most kids like their tether, they seem to get why it's there. And yes, many parents are just too lazy to watch their kids, and no one here has said that's a reason to use them. But make yourself judge in cases that don't involve you, that's the way to win friends and influence people.

 

[PixieDustSparkles]

As a mother who has lost her son in a crowded park and knows how ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING it can be, I say use it! With my "perfect" girls, who always stayed close to me when not in their strollers, I never would've dreamt of using one. Then came by son who thought the stroller was torture and went straight from crawling to RUNNING...away!
Even under a watchful eye I once lost him in a sea of children and families at a crowded park. It took several adults (including the authorities) to find him. Actually, he found me while trying to run away from a mom who knew a little boy shouldn't have been by himself and was trying to help him.
After that, we got him what we called a "monkey backpack". It worked like a charm! He had the freedom he wanted, and I didn't feel like he could get away, as he always wanted to do. Our rules were to never carry our end in our hands like a leash, but to wear it around our wrists and still stay close enough to where the "tail" was never fully extended.
We had mixed reviews from strangers the first time we used it at a zoo. Some people asked where we got it and thought it was a great idea, others glared angrily and shook their heads. One lady actually said,"He's not a dog, you know..." as she passed by me! I didn't let it bother me. The day you lose your kid and have the same heart attack I did is the day I'll ask for your opinion. You have to do what works for the safety of YOUR family.

 

[Hannathy]

I notice you don't offer any of the other ways. A parent must use what works for them. Most kids like their tether, they seem to get why it's there. And yes, many parents are just too lazy to watch their kids, and no one here has said that's a reason to use them. But make yourself judge in cases that don't involve you, that's the way to win friends and influence people.

I said that because sooner or later people will come on and say well it is better than having my kid keeps his arm up all day so I decided to say it before!

And you are the only one not being "friendly" everyone else has just expressed their opinions and the above is mine. In fact YOU brought lazy into it I never did And please point out where I judged anyone?

 

[kmb584]

Harnesses are definitely a hot debate item on the boards.

That said, I've personally been using one since DD's first trip (she was 15-months-old). I bought it not knowing if it'd be used or not but it was, every single day. At that age she was more interested in just toddling around, darting off to play in a patch of dirt or to chase a bird, etc. The harness absolutely came in handy and gave me peace of mind - she could still walk but not away from me. She's used it on subsequent trips as well but our trip in April was more likely our last with the harness as she's now old enough to understand the notion of holding hands or her stroller at all times and, in April, she did quite well without it. I'll still pack it in the suitcase in 3 weeks time and it'll still come with us to the park on our first day but hopefully I'll be able to retire it after that!

 

[JustRowan]

I always find these conversations so interesting. Here in the UK they're just a common accepted thing!

 

[jerseygirl82]

We had control over ours and didn't need a leash for them. I feel sorry for the child when I see them on one.

Well good for you. Not all of us are blessed with children who are practically perfect in every way all day every day.

I am torn on this myself. DD is 2, hates the stroller and will absolutely take off, not because we don't have "control" over her, but because she is two and curious and doesn't yet grasp the concept of the danger of not staying near mom and dad. That being said, I was always a critic of the leash and feel like a hypocrite if I use one. However no amount of judgement would keep me from doing anything I saw necessary to keep DD safe.

 

[jekjones1558]

I am happy to read comments on this thread from sensible parents who understand that for some kids a harness is a reasonable safety choice. A harness makes much more sense to me for a wandering child than the alternatives: being a nervous wreck for the whole trip or spending vacation restraining a child who wants to walk around.
P.S. Nasty comments or glares from disapproving people is NOTHING compared to the torture of losing track of a child for even a few moments.

 

[Lucky626]

I know a lot of people make fun of them but between possibly looking silly or potentially losing your child in the crowds I would definitely take the first and have peace of mind.