Hospitalization pix on facebook: ok or oversharing?

[Mkrop]

Your son asked you to take pictures and is old enough to consent to have them posted (when I say consent, I mean to his Mom, not legally). That isn't what the OP is talking about.

He only asked me to take the second one. I took the first one and told him what I was doing. Like I said I did it to distract him as well, but my phone and his phone were beeping off the hook with his coach, his friends, family, my friends all wanting to know what had happened. FB proved an easy way for us to get the info out. He asked me to share the picture to his timeline so his friends could know what was going on and we would stop getting texts


And if the child is not old enough to consent, I am the parent and therefore I get to make that decision whether to post or not, just like I do with anything for a minor child.

 

[Mkrop]

Not necessarily, there is a lot of downtime in hospitals even in the ER while you are waiting for tests, results, recovery etc. Maybe while the child slept mom updated her status. I was just in the hospital with my mom for a procedure and while I did not update FB, I was texting family and had lots of downtime when she was in her procedure and when they brought her back to recovery where I just basically sat and watched her sleep. I was worried and attentive when I needed to be but frankly I was quite bored.

 

[JoeA]

I don't know if it's generational or what, but I really don't get the Facebook thing, and I see no reason/value in this. Yeah, I get the "sharing" part but wouldn't a few updates be sufficient (i.e., "Little Timmy hurt his arm...little Timmy is sleeping and looks like crap..."). I know a couple who will go to dinner together - she'll "check in" at the restaurant, and then he'll "like" her post. WTH people! What about spending some quality time with...oh, I don't know...the person directly in front of you!?

Crap like this is why I haven't logged into my FB account in two years and couldn't even begin to tell you my password!

So I guess you can slot me in the oversharing camp!

 

[BrookieCookie]

My ex-DH wife does this. He has some health problems, and anytime he is in the hospital or ER she will post a pic on FB of him in the bed looking miserable. Or "check in" at the hospital and say something like, "Here with DH". Never says why though. Then she will get about 20 comments from people asking why or what's wrong and she never answers. Also she never tells my kids first (they are all over 18 so old enough to be told)...they have to see it on FB...and then wonder and worry about their dad because she won't answer her phone either.

 

[aprilchem]

Inappropriate, IMO. I had a similar situation happen to me a week ago - a friend's son broke his arm VERY badly, and the mom posted a graphic picture of the broken arm as they were waiting for surgery. It was awful, and I saw it just before bed. I immediately blocked her - I feel sympathy for her son, but not what I wanted to see!

 

[castleview]

Meh. My fifteen year old took several selfies while she was in the hospital. I know your friend is an adult, but it's not surprising. Some people are always looking for sympathy or communicaton. I will admit when my son had his appendix out, they brought us into the recovery room and he looked so darn cute that I wish I took a picture of him. But I thought I might get in trouble.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

One of my friends used to do this. She has 2 kids and she's at the children's emergency at least once a week with one of them. She did stop posting photos of the sick child(ren) when her brother commented, "Why are those kids always sick?" Now she just "checks in" from the ER...and her brother does still comment about how they're always sick...

 

[tina.tina]

I like my privacy. I'm just not sure why other people don't. I know someone who has posted multiple pictures of her toddler on her FB almost daily since he was born and got mad when her ILs told her they thought the pictures of his dirty diapers were oversharing.

I went to lunch with my friend at a new restaurant in town. I called DH afterwards and he answered the phone with "How was your lunch?" I realized my friend had put it on her FB & he figured I was with her.

The thing that makes me is the people who try to make their lives look perfect on FB. Every post is about the perfect day, perfect kids, sweetest DH, etc. when you have first-hand knowledge that the couple is barely speaking to each other and all their kids have been getting in trouble in school. Why share anything if you have to edit it?

 

[Glennie5]

Mom is over sharing and looking for attention.

 

[DisneyLuver2013]

Yep - over sharing. I don't know why people think that the whole world needs pictures of every second of every detail these days to post on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, what have you... It's gotten a tad bit ridiculous!

 

[indimom]

A bit overkill for me, but some people post everything on facebook, so they would feel strange NOT posting I guess.

When DD17's appendix ruptured last fall, I didn't post on FB until she was home, and it was a "thanks for the support, she's home and doing fine" post.
I kept family/friends in the loop through text. There's NO WAY I would have posted a photo. She'd have been livid.
I generally check before I post anything about my kids on FB. What I think is cute/sweet or a nice picture or compliment, can look very different in their eyes or the eyes of their peers.

 

[LBIJim]

When my grandfather died -long before Facebook- there where family who lived abroad and couldn't attend the funeral. I took pictures of the funeral, the casket, etc. so they could be there in a way, but I made sure my grandfather didn't appear in any of them. I know he wouldn't have wanted that, and I would have never disrespected him by taking a picture of him when he was unable to consent to it

Most of Father-in-law's family is in Italy. When he died, a few relatives asked if we could take a some photos, including him in the casket, since they weren't able to attend the funeral. So we did and sent the photos privately. I doubt any of them posted the photos on FB.

I think people are over-generalizing this. In the PARTICULAR incident that the OP is talking about, it definitely seems to me like mom should have been paying more attention to her kid than posting on facebook.

Perhaps. She may have been paying attention and posting during some downtime. But there a hundreds of photos posted on FB and other places, where the kid falls down the steps, or gets bloody crashing his bicycle, and the parents go, "awwww, how cute, wait Johnny, don't get up, Mommy will be with you in a minute. Have to take a photo of this first and post it on FB"

 

[Tinijocaro]

Not a pic but how about this FB post I saw today?

"Update on Richie. Surgery took 3 1//2 hours but it is done! For those who don't know, he had 2 hernia operations in the year and that caused a build up of fluid in his scrotum! Today he had the fluid drained and a reduction of stretched out skin so everything should be back to normal!!! He is staying in the hospital tonight (ECMC) so he can be watched. His spirit lifted after he ate a sandwich smile emoticon!!! Hopefully he will sleep some."

 

[sunshinehighway]

Not a pic but how about this FB post I saw today?

"Update on Richie. Surgery took 3 1//2 hours but it is done! For those who don't know, he had 2 hernia operations in the year and that caused a build up of fluid in his scrotum! Today he had the fluid drained and a reduction of stretched out skin so everything should be back to normal!!! He is staying in the hospital tonight (ECMC) so he can be watched. His spirit lifted after he ate a sandwich smile emoticon!!! Hopefully he will sleep some."

I don't see anything wrong with that.

 

[Laura66]

Not necessarily, there is a lot of downtime in hospitals even in the ER while you are waiting for tests, results, recovery etc. Maybe while the child slept mom updated her status. I was just in the hospital with my mom for a procedure and while I did not update FB, I was texting family and had lots of downtime when she was in her procedure and when they brought her back to recovery where I just basically sat and watched her sleep. I was worried and attentive when I needed to be but frankly I was quite bored.

Oh my gosh is this true! Thank goodness for smart phones and magazines and books because waiting or staying in a hospital can take hours!

 

[LiveYourLife]

Not a pic but how about this FB post I saw today?

"Update on Richie. Surgery took 3 1//2 hours but it is done! For those who don't know, he had 2 hernia operations in the year and that caused a build up of fluid in his scrotum! Today he had the fluid drained and a reduction of stretched out skin so everything should be back to normal!!! He is staying in the hospital tonight (ECMC) so he can be watched. His spirit lifted after he ate a sandwich smile emoticon!!! Hopefully he will sleep some."

Please pass the brain bleach

Only the first and last portion of that FB post is ok. The rest is TMI.

 

[SEA333]

Oversharing.

But since we are talking about FB pet peeves:

1. The friend that posts a selfie of herself immediately after working out...sweaty and red-faced with an update in the notes about how long her workout is

2. The cousin who spent 9 months giving a blow by blow account of her separation and and divorce.

3. The neighbor that posts a picture of her one 10 year old kid making the weirdest faces or sleeping, with the caption "My World" every day. It's a nice thought, but her BIL finally answered "tell us something we don't know" LOL and she responded "It's my FB wal, I can post whatever I want", and he said "Agreed, but it would be nice to see an update or something about him, like 'J hit a home run today!' or 'We had tons of fun at the pool, now he's exhausted', or something more than just 'My World'" LOL She posted "My World" a couple more times, just to show him that she could, I assume, and hasn't done it again.

4. The preachy one or motivation quote person who, if you know them well enough, you know that it is a thinly-veiled attempt to passively-aggressively tell someone they hate them lol

5. The one that starts attacking you because of something you post. I posted something once about my 1st grader and his friend deciding to walk home instead of go to the babysitter's car without telling anyone, and the babysitter, school, etc put out a mass alert, so the police were all over looking for the boys, found them, and brought them back to the school in the police cruiser. No pics, of course (the babysitter was in that hugely relieved/pissed off as could be stage with the boys! and didn't even THINK about taking pics.) Later she sent me something about it on FB and my BIL jumped in and said that parents are way too overprotective and when HE was young, blah, blah, blah...and *his* kid...yadda. yadda" - pretty much attacking my parenting with everything he said.

I don't give FB friends a second chance. If I don't want to see a gazillion "cause" posts, political rants, complaints, etc, I hide their newsfeeds. If someone attacks me, causes drama, tries to start a fight with me, or tries to publicly embarrass me, they are blocked for good. Like in the case of BIL, even family. If they don't like it, too bad. FB shouldn't be the only way families tell each other exactly what they think. That's what Christmas dinner is for.

 

[cbellasmomma]

Not a pic but how about this FB post I saw today?

"Update on Richie. Surgery took 3 1//2 hours but it is done! For those who don't know, he had 2 hernia operations in the year and that caused a build up of fluid in his scrotum! Today he had the fluid drained and a reduction of stretched out skin so everything should be back to normal!!! He is staying in the hospital tonight (ECMC) so he can be watched. His spirit lifted after he ate a sandwich smile emoticon!!! Hopefully he will sleep some."

Hope that kid doesn't run for office someday! This post will be in some sort of ad. "Do you want a candidate that has a history of fluid backing up in his scrotum?"

 

[aprilgail]

I also have a colleague who posted a video of her teenage daughter coming out of it after having her wisdom teeth removed, acting goofy and saying crazy things. I would have never trusted my mother that!

My daughter had 4 wisdom teeth removed last month and made me promise to record a video of her when she came out! She posted it herself though, I didn't

 

[Tinijocaro]

Hope that kid doesn't run for office someday! This post will be in some sort of ad. "Do you want a candidate that has a history of fluid backing up in his scrotum?"

Haha! Richie is her husband! I just find it odd to talk about your husband's (or anyone's) scrotum on FB. I would talk about my parts on their either.

As far as hiding people from your newsfeed, I do it all the time. One "friend" is a neighbor who posts every workout, must be the first mother ever cause she posts her kids grades. teacher comments, what people say to her about how awesome her kids are...whatever happened to being humble and modest?