So...my mother in law. She's not very supportive of homeschooling. Thinks we're cheating. Cheating the state, cheating DS out of an education, etc. She cannot figure it out.
She's Korean, and they have nothing like this in modern society. To her, it's an OLD thing. She didn't have school, she grew up in a tiny village while her country was occupied. She barely learned to write hangul (Korean written language); the most "teaching" she got was when they were forced to learn the language of those occupying the country by force.
She thinks school is important. I should really mention that she and her husband NEVER ONCE believed their children when they told their parents that OTHER kids were helped out on projects by their parents. They'd go to things at school and end up berating their kids because their projects looked so childlike...and refuse to believe that that was because their classmates weren't actually doing their own projects. So she thinks school is important, but also didn't ever really understand how it works in America.
She's been told that we're going to homeschool since DS was around 3. We've explained it every which way we can. What we NEED is to have the conversation in Korea, with one of DH's cousins who is totally fluent in both English and Korean, to be the middleman. DH is not fluent in Korean (mom didn't believe it was useful to teach her kids Korean, so they communicate in "Konglish", a hybrid) and she is not fluent in English (the "ifs" and other hypotheticals, as well as past or future tenses, are nearly incomprehensible to her for some reason...everything is in the present, and she doesn't get it if it isn't NOW).
She got the opportunity to watch DS last Saturday, while DH and I went to a work party. This was only the second time she's gotten to watch him on his own, as she raised her children with routine hitting, and we wanted to make sure that she understood that that was not acceptable to us, AND that if she did it, DS was old enough to tell us if she did it. She ruined that first time by inviting a friend over, and they spoke Korean the whole time, which she won't teach him and we can't teach him yet (and I can't find any kid's Korean classes! gotta get Rosetta Stone soon).
This was going to be a special occasion, really great. Everyone was excited.
DS is 6 and is just now really starting to get the concept of reading. He has some sight words, and is working on sounding things out, and with positive encouragement can figure out almost any word. It's thrilling! He loves math and numbers, and is doing two digit addition, with encouragement.
So they were hanging out, eating rice (she does something with sesame seed oil and soy sauce that is incredible), watching some Pixar movies...having a good old time. She had the captioning on for some reason, and he started paying attention to it.
She took that opportunity to QUIZ him. Set out words for him to read, set out math problems. Would NOT let him use fingers to add. She's NOT a positive encouragement person in any way, shape, or form, so I know it was not a good spot for him to be in.
When we got there, he was sleeping, and as I picked him up, we didn't know any of this. She said "you have to send him to school, he cannot read, he cannot add..." Well, YES he is learning to do both, and NO we don't have to send him to school. If he's picking these up on the slower side (and I don't think it's slow at all, I think it's his own pace) with a caring, loving parent teaching him, how do you think he's going to do in a class with 29 other kids all distracting him?????
I said "but Robert (her son) didn't learn until he was 8, so DS is doing well." "Oh nooo, he learned at 6!" NO, Robert was there....he was below DS's level at 6, and at 8 the law was set down and he was forced to be a reader. DH i still a slow reader, he reads outloud to himself still, and he probably has some sort of dyslexia...he was not "a reader" at 6 (barely considers himself one now).
And what's wrong with using fingers to count? I do it still. And I had a Math minor in college.
DS woke up at some point when we got home, and instead of "I missed you" or "I had fun", he said, sadly, that his grandma had tested him and made him feel bad about himself. And made him mad at her, because he does NOT need to go to school, and he IS learning, and why doesn't she see that?
DH had a work trip that started on Monday, and I got drastically sick Monday afternoon (bronchitis and one's latent asthma popping up is a horrible scary nasty situation, let me tell you), so we haven't had the opportunity to really talk to each other about all of this, let alone talk to her, but we're just livid.
How could she take what should have been 4 hours of bonding grandma/grandson time, and turn it into testing? Why doesn't she see what he CAN do, and be happy for that?
She has actually asked me what *my brother*, my YOUNGER, blissfully childFREE, brother, "thinks of this". WHY? What does that matter? And for the record, he's in FAVOR of it! His alma mater, Duke, happily allows homeschooled kids, and he and his wife are thoroughly planning for their nephew to attend their university. But what on earth does my BROTHER have to do with this???
It's just such a bummer. She doesn't know, because we don't tell her, how many times I've been sick this year, and how behind we are with learning work. "Behind" being a relative term, because DS isn't known to the district at all, and won't be until he has to be, at 8. We're behind where I wanted to be, but he still manages to learn things with breaks in official worktimes. Heck, he worked out some reading stuff after our trip to WDW, which meant a 4 week break! Just living in this world helps us learn things...
If anyone else's family has done this, you have my deepest empathy and sympathy. We don't know what to do, and I hate that she did this to him.
Both principals said I just needed to bring a letter to the office stating what we were doing. They'd just keep it on file. I cannot describe to you how excited we are!!!!
I also bought Lisa Welchel's book "So You're Thinking about Homeschooling?" It's a Focus on the Family book & I will probably devour it by tomorrow. 
You really don't want me to get any sleep tonight, do you? 
DH is so thrilled too. We can't wait to get started, yet our fear of what others think has us on the fence 
We are gonna pray really hard about when we should start the UNschool process. I feel like Alice with an UNbirthday! 
Remember, we're here for you and you're not alone. If it makes you feel better, arm yourselves with statistics to "counter-attack" 
). It's the easiest way I've found 
And, I just finished that Lisa Whelchel book & loved it!
