Gobsmacked by rude, presumptuous neighbor UPDATE - post 94!

[debaudrn]

In a nearby town in RI neighbors on one street had a similar thing going on. One neighbor upset that children's balls would frquently go into his yard. About a week ago during a child's birthday a ball went into this neighbor's yard. He came out and began yelling (a former cop by the way). Neighbor (dad of birthday child) came over, words escalated to fight, which escalated to neighbor shooting and killing birthday child's dad (a city firefighter)! Would it annoy me? Probably. Would I speak to family? Not sure, but probably not. I also grew up in a neighborhood where we played in everyone's yard. My kids have done the same where we live. They gorw up fast and leave. I wouldn't want to have angry older teens as neighbors. It could make life miserable. If you are truly that bothered by this I think a fence is the way to go. I would expect to hear balls hitting the fence once it is up though.

 

[beckmrk04]

Ohhh sure it's no big deal she's ready to deliver a baby. It's no big deal a ball wizzed past her face. No big deal if that ball would have hit her or she would have fell trying to avoid getting hit........Come on now that's totally uncalled for behavior to hit a ball toward a lady that is expecting a baby any day!

I didn't say utter rudeness is acceptable, but simply that kids smacking a ball into my yard and retrieving it is no big deal *to me.* I realize that some people have issues with it, but in my list of "Big Deals" and "Non-Issues", the neighbors kids playing in my yard falls into the non-issue category.

Of course, everyone's situation is different. We knew our neighbors and their kids, so that makes a difference.

 

[janey99]

I dunno. I'm going to be the voice of dissent, I know- but I don't see why it's a big deal either, other than when the kids got rude- that's uncalled for.

I grew up in a neighborhood where everyone lived in everyone's yard, and it was really a non-issue.

Of course, I guess it would be more polite of them to ask permission, but still- personally, it wouldn't be a big deal to me.

BUT- it IS your yard, and you have the right to say who comes and goes in it, so the neighbor (assuming he and his kids had any manners) should respect your wishes.

I completely appreciate that for some, this might not be a big deal, but for us it is, and we tried calmly and respectfully to explain to neighbor why it was. His response - call us immature and continue to insist it ain't no ting?! Sheesh!

DH and I were both raised by parents who were very respectful of yards and property lines, and we would have gotten in major trouble if our parents had found out a neighbor chastised us for trespassing. There is NO WAY either of our parents would have gone over to give the neighbors what for for having the "nerve" to call us on rude or inappropriate behavior.

Also, our neighborhood is not the kind of neighborhood where this is accepted. In fact, almost everyone but us is already fenced in - we are among the last few who are not. Now I know why!

Jane

 

[beckmrk04]

I completely appreciate that for some, this might not be a big deal, but for us it is, and we tried calmly and respectfully to explain to neighbor why it was. His response - call us immature and continue to insist it ain't no ting?! Sheesh!

DH and I were both raised by parents who were very respectful of yards and property lines, and we would have gotten in major trouble if our parents had found out a neighbor chastised us for trespassing. There is NO WAY either of our parents would have gone over to give the neighbors what for for having the "nerve" to call us on rude or inappropriate behavior.

Also, our neighborhood is not the kind of neighborhood where this is accepted. In fact, almost everyone but us is already fenced in - we are among the last few who are not. Now I know why!

Jane

I completely agree with you on part about your neighbor being a jerk. I would be MORTIFIED if I found out someone asked my child to behave appropriately and my child continued to disrespect and outright defy their request! I do think this is a big issue with parents today.

Doesn't it seem like parents always side with their kids these days, instead of siding with reason? It's seriously like everyone thinks their kids can do no wrong, and even when they do, no one is allowed to call the kids on it.

And yeah- I guess if your neighborhood isn't the kind where everyone all hangs out together, that makes it weird.

Of course, when I was younger and we all played in each other's yard, our parents wouldn't have sued the pants off each other if one of us got hurt in someone else's yard. Nowadays I guess you can't be so sure.

Looks like you gotta get a fence.

 

[debaudrn]

I wanted to add that the kids being rude is totally unacceptable. The dad calling you immature is well...immature. As others have said we all have our own levels of tolerance. If you have shared your concerns with the neighbors and they still don't respect your wishes you are entitled to be upset.

 

[Kathi OD]

The fact that the kids were hitting the ball into my yard and then retrieving it would not bother me in the least.

The fact that the ball is hitting my garage is what would bother me. A hard hit ball can do some serious damage to siding, especially if it happens over and over again. Add to that the fact that they got rude, now that would really make me

But they are only doing what daddy has modeled for them. Children learn by example; evidently daddy isn't such a great one.

 

[cheerful chickadee]

He's got nerve. So on top of disrespecting your property lines and his child getting snippy with you he thought he was going to call YOU immature? Man, yeah I'd be thinking about a fence and maybe even letting my dog drop a few "items" in neighbors yard since he seems to think it's a free for all.

 

[janey99]

The kids playing wouldn't have bothered me, but everyone has a different level of tolerance for that. I'm surprised you've lived there 6 years and never thought of putting up a fence.

Good point/question - we have done a lot of work on our property since we bought it. The back yard is part of the last phase which hasn't been started yet, because we will eventually put in a pool and want to do that concurrently with the fence, so we don't have to rip out fence to dig for the pool.

However, it looks like it could be a loonngg summer now, and I don't want to deal with seething every time I see these kids in my yard (because there is not doubt in my mind that the neighbor gained absolutely NOTHING from our conversation). DH is a landscape architect, and he says it will be easy to build most of the fence permanently, leaving a few panels removable to accomodate digging the pool at a later date.

Like I said, we are calling the surveyer ASAP!

Jane

 

[TheDisneyGirl02]

Jane,
Good luck with the baby!!!!!

I'm glad to hear you're putting up a fence - just make sure it locks so if their balls go over the fence, they can't get to them!

As far as your neighbor goes, talk about immature! Entitlement is everywhere and it stinks!

 

[janey99]

I'm glad to hear you're putting up a fence - just make sure it locks so if their balls go over the fence, they can't get to them!

QUOTE]

Great minds think alike - I already told DH I want an electronic keypad with a combination on it so they just can't open the gate and waltz in every time they lose a ball!

Thanks for the luck - think heavy gravitational thoughts for me - I can't believe this baby isn't out yet - DS9 was 3.5 weeks early!

Jane

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I would have taken the ball, they would not have gotten it back and when neighbor man sauntered over I would have told him a few not so nice things. You have been more than patient. They have their own yard to play in. I do not want anyone in my yard unless they are invited. Buh bye! What if that ball hit the OP in the stomach or she tripped trying not to get beaned in the face? A million things could have happened that she should not have to even worry about since she did not invite them over! If you have an acre of land and can't keep it in the yard then go to the park. OP- get a fence and whatever flies over keep.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I didn't say utter rudeness is acceptable, but simply that kids smacking a ball into my yard and retrieving it is no big deal *to me.* I realize that some people have issues with it, but in my list of "Big Deals" and "Non-Issues", the neighbors kids playing in my yard falls into the non-issue category.

Of course, everyone's situation is different. We knew our neighbors and their kids, so that makes a difference.

If that were the case then I would totally agree with you. These kids are playing their game on the OP's yard. I let the neighborhood kids get their ball from my yard but they are not setting up 3rd base back there.

 

[DevilDuckie]

I really don't think a tennis ball will cause damage to a house or garage no matter how hard you hit it.

I do agree the rudeness was uncalled for but I still don't see it as a big deal to have a ball hit in the yard. It takes a Village and I would gladly embrace all the balls of my neighbor's kids...lol.

My house has windows which will break if hit by a tennis ball and I did not sign up to be the "village" babysitter for people who can't teach their children to be respectful or even careful of pregnant women.

 

[MoniqueU]

Well we live on a corner house and i constantly have kids in and out of my yard with all sorts of stuff. As long as they don't break a window or a light or annoy me in some way I don't care. It's the brats that ding dong ditch that tick me off. Kids playing ball, no big deal.

 

[minniecarousel]

I am continually amazed that many people don't have fences. In every community that I've lived in here in California, we had fences. The "no fence" thing is such a foreign concept to me. How does anyone know where their property line is?

Hang in there, Jane. That baby won't stay in forever!

 

[vafarmmom]

When we lived in town, we actually had kids open our gate and cut through our yard. We had dogs back there.

So now I live in the boonies, but in an area with 5+ acre lots. So some people think that means that their dogs can just roam about (our county has a leash law). I wouldn't mind so much if there dogs didn't lift their legs and pee on EVERYTHING and crap dinosaur size runny poop everywhere. And I so love dodging their dogs as I try to drive up my driveway.

Then we have the lovely neighbor kids who treat their parents and grandparents like trash. Fortuately they go to school and after care or I would never get to go outside. They hear me and boom over they come and they will not leave. They have even gone into my house and looked for food/drink/toys. We have horses so that is the draw.

I finally had to say something after teh kids told me they had been playing in the barn with the horses. Talk about lawsuit waiting to happen... And I have a fence - they just climb it. By the way - dad is a hs principal.

 

[Kimberly]

HIS 14 year old is dancing on the property line screaming at my DH, and WE'RE immature?!

Jane

Spray him with the hose.

 

[Kimberly]

My house has windows which will break if hit by a tennis ball and I did not sign up to be the "village" babysitter for people who can't teach their children to be respectful or even careful of pregnant women.

Used to play baseball/softball with my brother and his friends when I was younger in our backyard. We used to take a wiffle ball bat and tape it up with electrical tape and cut the top off the bat. Then we filled it up with superballs and even I could hit the ball over my parent's house into the street. Their property is a little over 2 acres. My brother once hit a line drive directly through the kitchen window, and it went completely through the house and out the front window right through a big glass window. You'd be amazed what damage a tennis ball can do at high speed, or anything for that matter.

To the original poster, time to put up a fence.

 

[dolphindan1]

I might agree, except the kids have not been careful and almost hit her. If the kids were the least bit apologetic or even tried to be considerate, she might not feel this way.

Making use of the extra room, might not seem like a big deal. I probably wouldn't mind myself but actually doing damage and being rude. My kids know better.

Also what would happen if one of the kids got hurt on the property they were trespassing onto...then they could be held liable...

I agree with another that it shouldnt be a big deal and that these kids should have a safe place to play and run around but when they are causing potentioal damage to ones home and injury and also being asked to stop...then it becomes a problem...i also agree with another poster if thses kids had any respect and were trying there best not to hit it into the garage it might be different and the OP wouldnt have a problem...Its a shame that these kids have no respect but sadly its become a trend for kids that age.

 

[dolphindan1]

Looks like you gotta get a fence.

or a great sprinkler system.... \

just turn it on at game time