Sorry long!
I dont know whether to laugh or hit something over a conversation DH and I just had with our next door neighbor.
Backstory weve lived in our house for 6 years. Theyve lived here longer. For the past 6 years, we have watched their children cut through our yard to get to friends, and play multiple games on a daily basis which always seem to involve balls flying into our yard, that they think nothing of retrieving. On one occasion, we came home to find them having a BBQ, playing a baseball game, and using our yard as the outfield, complete with at least 4 children stationed half way across our yard. As their children have grown, they can hit and throw harder, meaning they run further into our yard, and commonly hit our detached garage (sided with very nice Certainteed) with a whole variety of balls. Over the years we have occasionally said something to the kids if it gets really bad, like 10 balls in a row. Oldest boy looks about 14 now. These people have never so much as waved to us since we moved in.
Tonight, we watch though our whole dinner as neighbor boy and his friends orient themselves playing baseball so the batter is constantly hitting balls about 100 feet into our yard, and it needs to be retrieved (finally, the outfielder just maintains a position about 30 feet into our yard). All the yards are about an acre, and there are plenty of directions they can play in that dont involve trespassing in our space. After dinner, DH is working in our detached garage, and he asks them 3 times to please stop hitting the ball in our yard. The third time, he spoke to them while three of them were crawling through a 30 foot forsythia inside our yard rummaging for their ball. One of the kids gets quite stroppy with DH, and DH says Ive asked you nicely three times the next time I wont be so nice.
Well, they technically go back into their yard, plant themselves RIGHT ON the property line, and start screaming army chants (I dont know but Ive been told . . . ). This is clearly for our benefit, but DH goes back into the garage. Because no one responds to them, they go back to playing ball, and as Im taking the garbage out, Im standing right there when a ball whizzes past my nose and hits the garage! (BTW I am forty weeks pregnant and TODAY IS MY DUE DATE but no baby yet). DH hears the thunk and comes out. The kids scatter and he picks up their ball and takes it. Ten minutes later the kids are back lurking on the property line. DH goes out again, and is still trying to be nice he explains to them again that he asked them nicely a bunch of times, they ignored him and still hit the ball into our yard, but hell give it back if they promise to switch their game to another direction (he gives the ball back).
We go back into the garage, where I am watching DH make some bookshelves. We are discussing whether I should go call the parents when lo and behold, neighbor dad walks around the corner of the garage. Here is the conversation (parentheses are my mental editorializations):
N Hi guys. Is something going on?
Me Yes we seem to be having a problem with your boy respecting the property line. We asked him and his friends three times to please not hit it towards our house, they got rude with my DH, and just now they hit the ball again into the side of the building while I was standing there watching.
N Well, I think you all are being immature (!!) about it.
DH Really? I think my wife just mentioned I asked them nicely three times to stop, and they got rude with me and promptly hit the house with the ball right after that when my wife was standing right there.
N Well, theyre just kids, its just a tennis ball. I cant tell them not to hit the ball! (ummm why not?) If your son hit a ball in my yard, I wouldnt mind. (not something he needs to worry about, since in 6 years my son has never set one foot in his yard because we have raised him to respect other peoples property. In fact, my dogs, whose brains are arguably the size of small plums, know where the property line is and have only crossed it about 4 times total in 6 years)
Me My son wouldnt hit a ball into your yard you can probably see our soccer goal is oriented in a way that that wouldnt happen, and when he plays with his archery things, we also orient everything so it stays in our yard. Everyone has a large yard theres no need to be playing in other peoples yards.
N Well its no big deal. Theyre just kids theyre not doing it on purpose (ummmm yes they are, and now I know why they think they can!).
Me (Repeating) Theres no need for it. Everybody has a big yard. All the games can be oriented to keep kids and toys in your own space. As you can see, Im about to have a baby in a couple of days, and someone elses kids running through my yard is just something I dont want to worry about right now.
N Fine. Ill try to keep them in my yard. (Stomps off)
Within minutes, the boys are playing tennis in their back yard, angled differently EVER SO SLIGHTLY so the balls are still going into the back corner of our yard when they miss.
Now, when you (the general you) rehearse a confrontation like that in your mind, what makes you choose the version of the conversation where you swan into your 40yo neighbors yard who you dont even speak to, accuse them of being IMMATURE because they dont want your teenage children trespassing in their yard, fail to apologize for the behavior, and then continue to maintain that the property line is NO BIG DEAL, after your neighbor has respectfully and calmly explained to you that it IS a big deal to them? He really swaggered over like HE was going to tell US a thing or two.
Where do people get this sense of entitlement??!!
Jane
I dont know whether to laugh or hit something over a conversation DH and I just had with our next door neighbor.
Backstory weve lived in our house for 6 years. Theyve lived here longer. For the past 6 years, we have watched their children cut through our yard to get to friends, and play multiple games on a daily basis which always seem to involve balls flying into our yard, that they think nothing of retrieving. On one occasion, we came home to find them having a BBQ, playing a baseball game, and using our yard as the outfield, complete with at least 4 children stationed half way across our yard. As their children have grown, they can hit and throw harder, meaning they run further into our yard, and commonly hit our detached garage (sided with very nice Certainteed) with a whole variety of balls. Over the years we have occasionally said something to the kids if it gets really bad, like 10 balls in a row. Oldest boy looks about 14 now. These people have never so much as waved to us since we moved in.
Tonight, we watch though our whole dinner as neighbor boy and his friends orient themselves playing baseball so the batter is constantly hitting balls about 100 feet into our yard, and it needs to be retrieved (finally, the outfielder just maintains a position about 30 feet into our yard). All the yards are about an acre, and there are plenty of directions they can play in that dont involve trespassing in our space. After dinner, DH is working in our detached garage, and he asks them 3 times to please stop hitting the ball in our yard. The third time, he spoke to them while three of them were crawling through a 30 foot forsythia inside our yard rummaging for their ball. One of the kids gets quite stroppy with DH, and DH says Ive asked you nicely three times the next time I wont be so nice.
Well, they technically go back into their yard, plant themselves RIGHT ON the property line, and start screaming army chants (I dont know but Ive been told . . . ). This is clearly for our benefit, but DH goes back into the garage. Because no one responds to them, they go back to playing ball, and as Im taking the garbage out, Im standing right there when a ball whizzes past my nose and hits the garage! (BTW I am forty weeks pregnant and TODAY IS MY DUE DATE but no baby yet). DH hears the thunk and comes out. The kids scatter and he picks up their ball and takes it. Ten minutes later the kids are back lurking on the property line. DH goes out again, and is still trying to be nice he explains to them again that he asked them nicely a bunch of times, they ignored him and still hit the ball into our yard, but hell give it back if they promise to switch their game to another direction (he gives the ball back).
We go back into the garage, where I am watching DH make some bookshelves. We are discussing whether I should go call the parents when lo and behold, neighbor dad walks around the corner of the garage. Here is the conversation (parentheses are my mental editorializations):
N Hi guys. Is something going on?
Me Yes we seem to be having a problem with your boy respecting the property line. We asked him and his friends three times to please not hit it towards our house, they got rude with my DH, and just now they hit the ball again into the side of the building while I was standing there watching.
N Well, I think you all are being immature (!!) about it.
DH Really? I think my wife just mentioned I asked them nicely three times to stop, and they got rude with me and promptly hit the house with the ball right after that when my wife was standing right there.
N Well, theyre just kids, its just a tennis ball. I cant tell them not to hit the ball! (ummm why not?) If your son hit a ball in my yard, I wouldnt mind. (not something he needs to worry about, since in 6 years my son has never set one foot in his yard because we have raised him to respect other peoples property. In fact, my dogs, whose brains are arguably the size of small plums, know where the property line is and have only crossed it about 4 times total in 6 years)
Me My son wouldnt hit a ball into your yard you can probably see our soccer goal is oriented in a way that that wouldnt happen, and when he plays with his archery things, we also orient everything so it stays in our yard. Everyone has a large yard theres no need to be playing in other peoples yards.
N Well its no big deal. Theyre just kids theyre not doing it on purpose (ummmm yes they are, and now I know why they think they can!).
Me (Repeating) Theres no need for it. Everybody has a big yard. All the games can be oriented to keep kids and toys in your own space. As you can see, Im about to have a baby in a couple of days, and someone elses kids running through my yard is just something I dont want to worry about right now.
N Fine. Ill try to keep them in my yard. (Stomps off)
Within minutes, the boys are playing tennis in their back yard, angled differently EVER SO SLIGHTLY so the balls are still going into the back corner of our yard when they miss.
Now, when you (the general you) rehearse a confrontation like that in your mind, what makes you choose the version of the conversation where you swan into your 40yo neighbors yard who you dont even speak to, accuse them of being IMMATURE because they dont want your teenage children trespassing in their yard, fail to apologize for the behavior, and then continue to maintain that the property line is NO BIG DEAL, after your neighbor has respectfully and calmly explained to you that it IS a big deal to them? He really swaggered over like HE was going to tell US a thing or two.
Where do people get this sense of entitlement??!!
Jane
Polite mom tells me that it's the bully's mom and she's a piece of work. So polite mom abandons me and gathers her boys and heads home through the backyards. So bully's mom stomps up and asks me if I sent her precious child home. I simply said yes. It took her a few seconds but she asked why. I said well he intruded into my yard, pushed my son around that is 4 years younger than him and much smaller and since it's my property I never want to see her son anywhere near my kids and my property again. She was soooooooooooooo mad!! She said well I will never allow my son to come play with your kids! I literally started laughing and told her thanks because my kids and the polite kids have no desire to be abused my him anymore. Fast forward to fall when school starts and guess who is in older DS class? The brat! And on a side note at the end of that school year her husband left her for a man. 
The father would discipline the brat but the mom still ignored his behavior. She moved them to town where he hooked up with some not so good kids but at least he wasn't on our street anymore.
Even after I said something to her about it (and squirted her dog with the hose!) she thought I was making a big deal out of nothing. So, we put up a fence, easy as that. No more neighbor dog poo in the yard. Case closed.
Plus if they get hurt on her property, they may actually have grounds to sue.
