Go Fund Me for College Fund?

[mousehockey37]

That is quite insulting to parents of children involved in many different expensive activities. I am pretty sure any parent whose child is involved with a travel team of any kind knows all about fundraising. I hardly doubt it is any different than a child wanting to travel on a hockey team, marching band, dance team or any other kind. My best friend's child is at WDW this weekend for DECA. That also looks very good on their transcripts. In the true business sense of DECA, the students worked their tails off doing odd jobs all year to fund their trips in case they made it to Disney. They refused to solicit funds without any kind of work involved.

A close relative is at the Cheerleading Worlds this same weekend. WDW must be packed this weekend, lol. They too had fundraisers all year just in case they received a bid and not a paid bid. Next week, the sibling is going to the Summit in Disney, so they are just staying the week.

So, how is Drum Corps any different? Are these children more special and can't fundraise?

Drum corps is different that DCI is mostly 18-21 year olds. That age range, they're mostly in college. Not a whole lot of time to work in there (if you were once a poor college kid, you'll understand). Whereas cheerleading, clubs, and other things of the like, it's high school. They have the fundraisers run by the groups within the school and it's the kids job to run around selling the candy bars or washing cars or selling discount cards, whatever they do. It's tougher for an individual on their own time, while in college studies, to raise the funding. The DCI season starts in late November with auditions at the home site of the corps, then there are winter camps, eventually leading to the summer tour which starts at the end of June and goes every day with the kids living on the buses and sleeping in gyms until the end of the season in early August... right before they head back to college.

Again, if you haven't experienced the world of drum corps, you won't understand it.

 

[Laura66]

Drum corps is different that DCI is mostly 18-21 year olds. That age range, they're mostly in college. Not a whole lot of time to work in there (if you were once a poor college kid, you'll understand). Whereas cheerleading, clubs, and other things of the like, it's high school. They have the fundraisers run by the groups within the school and it's the kids job to run around selling the candy bars or washing cars or selling discount cards, whatever they do. It's tougher for an individual on their own time, while in college studies, to raise the funding. The DCI season starts in late November with auditions at the home site of the corps, then there are winter camps, eventually leading to the summer tour which starts at the end of June and goes every day with the kids living on the buses and sleeping in gyms until the end of the season in early August... right before they head back to college.

Again, if you haven't experienced the world of drum corps, you won't understand it.

And? So? There is no need "to understand the world of drum corp.". It's a "want". If they can't meet the financial requirements themselves or thru their fundraising efforts then they need to grow up not participate!
That's life - sometimes you can't afford to do or buy the things you'd like.

 

[Anastasi]

So it's all about being secretive. Making people have to run around and find someone in the know. What if nobody knows? Who do you ask? Is it seen as tacky to ask the bride and groom then at that point?

I find it funny how if people are upfront about the registry it's seen as tacky yet if it's a secret and you have to act like you're in high school and ask around for information, that's acceptable....

No, not secretive. Polite.

Including registries is asking for gifts. In the most basic of etiquette, that is very poor manners.

An invitation should be an invitation. No expectation of gifts should even be hinted at. And a guests of honor should never expect gifts of any kind.

Now, that said, people do give gifts for major life events, so having a registry is convenient for the gift giver. Many people do want to give the guest of honor something they truly want and do want to use a registry. But the gift giver should be the one to decide the kind of gift they give. IF they want to know about a registry, it is easy enough to find out. But perhaps they have something else in mind they want to give. By including a gift registry in an invite, you are basically telling your guests that "I want this."

It is no different than the birthday invite that has gone viral this weekend ( http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/20/demanding-birthday-party-invitation_n_7101662.html ) The invite was just a bit more specific, but it is still a wish list like a registry.

"With [name redacted]'s birthday coming up, we thought we'd ask for 4 items that he will really get a lot of use out of in the coming months," the invitation reads. "I provided my mom and sister-in-law with a list of 4 other items [name redacted] would like for his birthday so that they can buy from their list and avoid duplication. We're asking for gifts only from grandparents and the direct aunt/uncle for [name redacted]'s birthday party, and similar to christmas, would like to restrict it to 2 items total per household."

The emailed invitation then provides links to a specific water table from Walmart, a play tunnel and a play tent from IKEA, and a "Fill In The Missing Cheerio" book. And the demands don't end there! The parents require all gifts to come with a receipt since they can lose some of the money if it's returned without one, they write how they don't want any more books as their child already has 32 and another 25 in storage, and they won't accept personalized clothing displaying the child's name because it leads to kidnapping.

 

[Anastasi]

Drum corps is different that DCI is mostly 18-21 year olds. That age range, they're mostly in college. Not a whole lot of time to work in there (if you were once a poor college kid, you'll understand). Whereas cheerleading, clubs, and other things of the like, it's high school. They have the fundraisers run by the groups within the school and it's the kids job to run around selling the candy bars or washing cars or selling discount cards, whatever they do. It's tougher for an individual on their own time, while in college studies, to raise the funding. The DCI season starts in late November with auditions at the home site of the corps, then there are winter camps, eventually leading to the summer tour which starts at the end of June and goes every day with the kids living on the buses and sleeping in gyms until the end of the season in early August... right before they head back to college.

Again, if you haven't experienced the world of drum corps, you won't understand it.

Nope, still no excuse.

College students still have families and there are plenty of college activities that require parental support for those poor college students. The cheerleader I talked about also has an older sister that just competed at NCA College Nationals in Daytona Beach. Their team had to fundraise to get there. They worked. They did not grub for money.

You are making excuses that Drum Corps is more special than any other kind of "want." Standing on a street corner with a sign requires more work than asking for money in a online forum. That is the definition of money grubbing.

 

[luvsJack]

GFM accounts aren't so bad. I would rather donate a couple of dollars for the kid's activity than buy something I don't need or want and the kid only gets a small portion of the money for.

As for the college thing, well if I was going to send her money or a gift anyway, why do I care her method? And who knows maybe there is someone out there looking for someone whose college education they can pay for. You never know.

On the whole wedding thing, I have never seen any kind of registry listed except on a shower invite or like mentioned, on a wedding website or fb page. I really don't see the difference in a registry that helps fund the honeymoon and one with $100 a place setting china. Personally I would rather give for the honeymoon than buy an expensive plate or bowl they may never use. If someone can't give, they can ignore the honeymoon registry just like they can the one from Bed Bath and Beyond.

 

[Anastasi]

I'd think that common sense would pull through on something like this and that with a registry, no matter what it is, that it would be a guide to helping pick a gift that the couple will get use of, not something that may never make it out of the box. In reality what's worse? Knowing that you paid for a dolphin interaction that may be a once in a lifetime thing and get a thank you card with the picture of the couple with the dolphins? or would you rather see the coffee maker that you arbitrarily bought for them on your own in their first yard sale because neither of them have a use for it?

Well, at least the work of putting together a yard sale will earn them a bit of money towards that Dolphin encounter.

You don't seem to get that a gift is completely up to the giver. As I said above, most people will want to give you a gift you would enjoy and will ask somebody what you want or whether or not there is a registry. But you do not in any way ever get to dictate how a person spends their own money. To expect any particular gift, and telling people what gifts you expect, is extremely rude. Hopefully, if you don't get exactly what you want, you will be just as appreciative of that coffee maker as you would tickets to a Dolphin encounter. If a person is disappointed in a traditional gift like a coffee maker because they did not get their honeymoon item, then that is just spoiled.

 

[theworldneedscolor]

I am a member of several Disney College Program Facebook groups, and there are constantly people posting their Go Fund Me pages there. I think it's tacky enough to have a GFM page for the College Program in the first place; it is 100% a want and not a need. But then on top of that, to post it in a group where every other member is in the exact same position??

 

[aaarcher86]

Drum corps is different that DCI is mostly 18-21 year olds. That age range, they're mostly in college. Not a whole lot of time to work in there (if you were once a poor college kid, you'll understand). Whereas cheerleading, clubs, and other things of the like, it's high school. They have the fundraisers run by the groups within the school and it's the kids job to run around selling the candy bars or washing cars or selling discount cards, whatever they do. It's tougher for an individual on their own time, while in college studies, to raise the funding. The DCI season starts in late November with auditions at the home site of the corps, then there are winter camps, eventually leading to the summer tour which starts at the end of June and goes every day with the kids living on the buses and sleeping in gyms until the end of the season in early August... right before they head back to college.

Again, if you haven't experienced the world of drum corps, you won't understand it.

I don't know. I kind of disagree here. I had more free time in college than I did in high school. Our dance team has a set up where volunteer work hours at the arena, but the pay goes directly into our dance accounts (I think. I don't participate). Wouldn't have been that hard to find a night or two to do something like that in college. Not ideal, but that's the life of an adult.

 

[diznygirl]

Drum corps is different that DCI is mostly 18-21 year olds. That age range, they're mostly in college. Not a whole lot of time to work in there (if you were once a poor college kid, you'll understand). Whereas cheerleading, clubs, and other things of the like, it's high school. They have the fundraisers run by the groups within the school and it's the kids job to run around selling the candy bars or washing cars or selling discount cards, whatever they do. It's tougher for an individual on their own time, while in college studies, to raise the funding. The DCI season starts in late November with auditions at the home site of the corps, then there are winter camps, eventually leading to the summer tour which starts at the end of June and goes every day with the kids living on the buses and sleeping in gyms until the end of the season in early August... right before they head back to college.

Again, if you haven't experienced the world of drum corps, you won't understand it.

I was a poor college kid once upon a time. I had time to work two jobs. But I guess that's because I wasn't in drum corps. I do know that there were things I wanted to do but I didn't because I had to work. I guess I should have had someone else pay for my social life. Too bad Al Gore hadn't invented the internet yet.

 

[sk!mom]

Drum corps is different that DCI is mostly 18-21 year olds. That age range, they're mostly in college. Not a whole lot of time to work in there (if you were once a poor college kid, you'll understand). Whereas cheerleading, clubs, and other things of the like, it's high school. They have the fundraisers run by the groups within the school and it's the kids job to run around selling the candy bars or washing cars or selling discount cards, whatever they do. It's tougher for an individual on their own time, while in college studies, to raise the funding. The DCI season starts in late November with auditions at the home site of the corps, then there are winter camps, eventually leading to the summer tour which starts at the end of June and goes every day with the kids living on the buses and sleeping in gyms until the end of the season in early August... right before they head back to college.

Again, if you haven't experienced the world of drum corps, you won't understand it.

It's still a "want" and if they cannot afford it (either by part time work or family help) then they should grow up and skip it in my view. An important lesson in that.

DD's boyfriend, a college freshman, traveled to Florida with his paintball team last weekend for the National tournament. Yes, he's 19, in college, and all that you mentioned. But he and the team realized that this is a hobby. Only a handful of their team were able to go. Some felt that they couldn't miss school and some didn't have the funds. In the case of DD's bf, his parents covered the cost as a gift to him as he's had a very successful first year of college.

I will never understand the mindset of "I want this, it will be a good/educational/whatever experience, so others should pay."

 

[Dawnlight]

It's still a "want" and if they cannot afford it (either by part time work or family help) then they should grow up and skip it in my view. An important lesson in that.

DD's boyfriend, a college freshman, traveled to Florida with his paintball team last weekend for the National tournament. Yes, he's 19, in college, and all that you mentioned. But he and the team realized that this is a hobby. Only a handful of their team were able to go. Some felt that they couldn't miss school and some didn't have the funds. In the case of DD's bf, his parents covered the cost as a gift to him as he's had a very successful first year of college.

I will never understand the mindset of "I want this, it will be a good/educational/whatever experience, so others should pay."

Exactly.

There's a GFM set up for local elementary-aged kids who want to participate in the Global Finals of Destination Imagination. They are seeking $10,000 in donations for them to travel from MA to TN. This seems to me something that you 1) pay your child's way yourself, 2) have the child earn money in various ways either individually or as a group (car-wash, for example) or 3) approach close family and/or friends to help. I don't understand how this becomes a community financial endeavor.

 

[Kbee]

I just visited the Gofundme site and I can't believe the things people are asking others to pay for. I guess its true, some people really have no shame.

 

[Bec3b1g]

I think a GFM college fund account is a bit of an eyebrow raiser. I won't say it's to the level of tacky, but it's close and I would be mortified if one of my kids set up such account.

I fall on the other side of the spectrum when it comes to gifts. I think we live in an overabundant time and for parties my go to phrase is your presence is the only present desired.

 

[luvsJack]

Well, at least the work of putting together a yard sale will earn them a bit of money towards that Dolphin encounter.

You don't seem to get that a gift is completely up to the giver. As I said above, most people will want to give you a gift you would enjoy and will ask somebody what you want or whether or not there is a registry. But you do not in any way ever get to dictate how a person spends their own money. To expect any particular gift, and telling people what gifts you expect, is extremely rude. Hopefully, if you don't get exactly what you want, you will be just as appreciative of that coffee maker as you would tickets to a Dolphin encounter. If a person is disappointed in a traditional gift like a coffee maker because they did not get their honeymoon item, then that is just spoiled.

Setting up these honeymoon registries does not dictate the gift someone gives no more than any other registry does. They aren't saying anyone has to pay for a dolphin encounter but if someone or a group of some

 

[Anastasi]

Setting up these honeymoon registries does not dictate the gift someone gives no more than any other registry does. They aren't saying anyone has to pay for a dolphin encounter but if someone or a group of some

I agree that the actual setting up of the registry does not dictate the gift. It is the including the mention of any kind of gift registry on an invite that is the definition of bad manners. That is what says "Please come to my party and bring me a gift off the included list."

 

[lauradis]

http://www.gofundme.com/kwjqg4

Is this one ok ???

I find Go fund me accts interesting, also there is no better way to give, then giving directly to a person in need.

 

[luvsJack]

I agree that the actual setting up of the registry does not dictate the gift. It is the including the mention of any kind of gift registry on an invite that is the definition of bad manners. That is what says "Please come to my party and bring me a gift off the included list."

I have only seen it added to shower invites and imo that isn't bad manners its just providing information.

I do know that they have little insert cards to put the info in with the actual wedding invites.

I still don't see it as dictating anything. If you see it as dictating a certain gift, I don't see how any registry can be considered differently.

 

[Dawnlight]

I have only seen it added to shower invites and imo that isn't bad manners its just providing information.

I do know that they have little insert cards to put the info in with the actual wedding invites.

I still don't see it as dictating anything. If you see it as dictating a certain gift, I don't see how any registry can be considered differently.

Standard etiquette says that a registry card for invites to showers is okay, as that's the entire point of a shower- to give gifts to help the new couple set up a home.

As far as the wedding invite- it's never okay to include registry information. It's, in essence, saying that a gift is expected. The invite should be non-conditional; you invite for the pleasure of sharing your event with family and friends, not to receive gifts.

 

[Kbee]

http://www.gofundme.com/kwjqg4

Is this one ok ???

I find Go fund me accts interesting, also there is no better way to give, then giving directly to a person in need.

I think you and I have a very different idea of "a person in need" if you think Kevin is one of those people.

 

[lauradis]

I think you and I have a very different idea of "a person in need" if you think Kevin is one of those people.

I find them interesting, only have donated once, to one person I personally knew. It was for a dog rescue surgery. Could that person cut out some stuff to fund it herself, yep.