Go Fund Me for College Fund?

[Anastasi]

I never said about using GFM as a way to include weddings and honeymoons. That spurred off into its own tangent, lol. I'm sure they're on there though.

But you were the one that did say that you and your girlfriend were going to set up a Disneymoon registry where guests can purchase for you, and I quote "Tickets, dining plan, Illuminations Cruise, flights, etc..."

Depending on how you present your registry, this can be no different than a GoFundMe account. If the registry is sent to all your guests in invitations, by social media, or something similar, it is absolutely no different than a Go Fund Me account. You are saying "we can't afford our honeymoon, so please buy our tickets for us." It doesn't matter if you change the name to a registry rather than a Go Fund Me account. You are still asking people to fund your honeymoon for you.

 

[jrmasm]

Um, what? I did NOT say it was in their invite. I said it was on their wedding website where they listed all the info such as hotel info, where the wedding and reception would be, etc. I did say it USED to be the norm, (before the internet) to put it in the invite, but not anymore.

Um no, putting registry information in a wedding invitation has always been improper.

 

[mousehockey37]

But you were the one that did say that you and your girlfriend were going to set up a Disneymoon registry where guests can purchase for you, and I quote "Tickets, dining plan, Illuminations Cruise, flights, etc..."

Depending on how you present your registry, this can be no different than a GoFundMe account. If the registry is sent to all your guests in invitations, by social media, or something similar, it is absolutely no different than a Go Fund Me account. You are saying "we can't afford our honeymoon, so please buy our tickets for us." It doesn't matter if you change the name to a registry rather than a Go Fund Me account. You are still asking people to fund your honeymoon for you.

Then no one from this point on, should ever do any kind of registry ever again... Is this what I'm understanding? Going to Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, Sears, JCPenney, etc... You're asking for people to fund things for you that you can't afford. You go scan everything and they put it ONLINE!!!! Well, why isn't that tacky? huh? If it's in the way you ask, I call BS.

If all of this is so frowned upon, then why does Disney offer it? Hmmmmm? I posted the link to it earlier.... Please, I'm eagerly awaiting your "informative" responses on this one.

Also, if you have a Public Wish list on Amazon.com, is that a GFM? It's able to be viewed by anyone and they can buy it for you and send it to you. Also, don't ask for things in advance of wedding showers, baby showers, holiday gifts/presents... .it's apparently all the same thing.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

Wow, my ds is graduating HS in June. So is his cousin on dh's side of the family. Most of my & dh's siblings are struggling financially: hours cut, helping their grown kids financially, getting cancer treatment, living with MS, etc.
I don't even want to throw a family party for his graduation at home and make our families feel obligated to bring a gift which on dh's side means 2 gifts.
I can't imagine having the gall to beg for money electronically.

 

[nugov2]

Tacky!!

Very. I've never in my life received a wedding invitation with registry or gift information. I have only ever gotten registry information with shower invites. I never in my life would ask people to fund my honeymoon. I get that people will most likely give a gift regardless, but a honeymoon registry is as tacky as a dollar dance at a wedding.

So paying for one of those honeymoon activities is not a "gift"?

Sure, I'll visit their registry in lieu of giving a gift.

Perfect response!

 

[jt'smom]

I usually find very few things tacky but this whole Go Fund Me for everything that I've ever wanted to do in my life but I'm too impatient, entitled,or whatever to budget, save, and pay for myself totally and completely tacky!

And while I don't usually mind registries, if you direct people to said registry with the verbiage 'in lieu of gifts, visit our registry' then you really need to spend a few minutes looking up the definition of in lieu of and gift because you got something wrong somewhere.

I totally agree with you on the GFM thing. I guess I'll allow for the extreme issues where little Johnny has cancer and his family desperately needs funds for treatment, because I happen to be a big supporter of several different childhood cancer support initiatives. But I find the whole fundraising culture for everything from "send me on a honeymoon" to "help me pay for my dream wedding" to "furnish my first home" tacky as hell. Whatever happened to people inviting people to a wedding or sending out a graduation announcement, simply to share a joyous event in their lives. I'm not naive, and I know that most people who have big weddings want to "cover their plate", but I even think that's tacky. If you can't afford a big wedding, don't have one! It's not some God given right. Geez, we are such a ME, ME, ME culture now.

As far as begging for money for college, well, that's ridiculous. I would slap my child upside the head if I found out he did that. Mostly because it would embarrass the hell out of me that people would assume that I had not raised him to have a lick of sense! I would probably make him put a disclaimer on the page saying, "My parents are embarrassed that I'm such a tool, and am begging for money, and they did in fact, raise me better... however I'm a tool of my own accord and one day I'm sure I will be completely horrified that I did this!"

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

Wow. That's about all I can say at this point.

 

[Anastasi]

Then no one from this point on, should ever do any kind of registry ever again... Is this what I'm understanding? Going to Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, Sears, JCPenney, etc... You're asking for people to fund things for you that you can't afford. You go scan everything and they put it ONLINE!!!! Well, why isn't that tacky? huh? If it's in the way you ask, I call BS.

If all of this is so frowned upon, then why does Disney offer it? Hmmmmm? I posted the link to it earlier.... Please, I'm eagerly awaiting your "informative" responses on this one.

Also, if you have a Public Wish list on Amazon.com, is that a GFM? It's able to be viewed by anyone and they can buy it for you and send it to you. Also, don't ask for things in advance of wedding showers, baby showers, holiday gifts/presents... .it's apparently all the same thing.

Having the registry in and of itself is not what is tacky.

It is all about how people find out about the registry. If you send out your invitations with cards in it that say "we have a Disney Honeymoon and and Amazon registry," that is extremely tacky and very poor etiquette. If you have the registry and don't mention it unless somebody asks or finds out by googling your name, then that is not tacky. It is all about how you present your registry.

If I receive an invitation to a wedding that has something in it that says in essence 'please fund our honeymoon for us,' you can be guaranteed I will give you a toaster. If I get a lovely invitation with no hints at a gift grab and I have to ask one of the bridesmaids if the happy couple is registered somewhere and they tell me they have x,y and z registries, I will most likely buy something very nice off the registry. The difference is that it is my decision to not only give a gift, but to utilize a registry so I know that I am giving a present the couple will enjoy.

And Disney offers it because they are a business. Their #1 concern is showing a profit to their stockholders.

 

[aaarcher86]

Then no one from this point on, should ever do any kind of registry ever again... Is this what I'm understanding? Going to Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, Sears, JCPenney, etc... You're asking for people to fund things for you that you can't afford. You go scan everything and they put it ONLINE!!!! Well, why isn't that tacky? huh? If it's in the way you ask, I call BS.

If all of this is so frowned upon, then why does Disney offer it? Hmmmmm? I posted the link to it earlier.... Please, I'm eagerly awaiting your "informative" responses on this one.

Also, if you have a Public Wish list on Amazon.com, is that a GFM? It's able to be viewed by anyone and they can buy it for you and send it to you. Also, don't ask for things in advance of wedding showers, baby showers, holiday gifts/presents... .it's apparently all the same thing.

Why does Disney offer it? Because it can/does make them money.

Companies aren't really worried about whether individuals appear tacky or not.

 

[Dawnlight]

Very. I've never in my life received a wedding invitation with registry or gift information. I have only ever gotten registry information with shower invites.

I just got another invite for a wedding, complete with registry information inside. Ugh. This the third daughter to marry, in the course of the past 4 years, of a leader in our religious community. All invites included registry info. We attended the first, did not attend the second (there were also multiple life cycle events of their other children going on as well), and were seen as rude to not have attended. We won't be attending this upcoming wedding either, especially since they are always planned for weekday evenings when we're busy with our own family.

 

[Anastasi]

Hey, they're divorced now anyway, lol... But times are changing. The internet has changed the way we do everything. Heck, in certain places Fast Food is being delivered to you by ordering online. For the traditionalists here, anything involving the internet will be tacky or of poor etiquette, when in fact, it's a more efficient and more progressive way to do things. Is that to say things still can't be traditional? No, but you do have to move with the times as well.

For the issue of the GFM, like I've said, it should be more for people with overwhelming circumstances that need that sort of "charitable" help (loss from fire, medical). I just see too many chances for fraud that once a donation is made, you don't know where it goes.

I've used the drum corps sponsorship example in my posts, well, they may be there, but on our drum corps message boards there's a spot for kids looking for help to get some sponsorship to march for the summer. As much as people say it's a lavish activity, if the kid is going into education or has a dream of working in the marching band/drum corps world, that experience on their resume is invaluable in the end.

And if a child wants to march in the summer, they can babysit, mow lawns, walk dogs, sell lemonade. The team can offer different fundraising opportunities that provide some kind of service. Some of the things teams around here do: collect live Christmas trees and bring to the recycle center for mulching, pancake breakfasts, the proverbial car washes, there are so many things to do to raise money. Just asking for money with no work involved is just wrong and teaching children that they can get what they want with no work or effort behind it. It is no wonder we have such a problem with entitlement these days.

 

[mousehockey37]

Having the registry in and of itself is not what is tacky.

It is all about how people find out about the registry. If you send out your invitations with cards in it that say "we have a Disney Honeymoon and and Amazon registry," that is extremely tacky and very poor etiquette. If you have the registry and don't mention it unless somebody asks or finds out by googling your name, then that is not tacky. It is all about how you present your registry.

If I receive an invitation to a wedding that has something in it that says in essence 'please fund our honeymoon for us,' you can be guaranteed I will give you a toaster. If I get a lovely invitation with no hints at a gift grab and I have to ask one of the bridesmaids if the happy couple is registered somewhere and they tell me they have x,y and z registries, I will most likely buy something very nice off the registry. The difference is that it is my decision to not only give a gift, but to utilize a registry so I know that I am giving a present the couple will enjoy.

And Disney offers it because they are a business. Their #1 concern is showing a profit to their stockholders.

So it's all about being secretive. Making people have to run around and find someone in the know. What if nobody knows? Who do you ask? Is it seen as tacky to ask the bride and groom then at that point?

I find it funny how if people are upfront about the registry it's seen as tacky yet if it's a secret and you have to act like you're in high school and ask around for information, that's acceptable....

 

[mousehockey37]

And if a child wants to march in the summer, they can babysit, mow lawns, walk dogs, sell lemonade. The team can offer different fundraising opportunities that provide some kind of service. Some of the things teams around here do: collect live Christmas trees and bring to the recycle center for mulching, pancake breakfasts, the proverbial car washes, there are so many things to do to raise money. Just asking for money with no work involved is just wrong and teaching children that they can get what they want with no work or effort behind it. It is no wonder we have such a problem with entitlement these days.

Those outside of the drum corps world will have no idea... So I'll retract that example at this point.

 

[jt'smom]

Then no one from this point on, should ever do any kind of registry ever again... Is this what I'm understanding? Going to Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, Sears, JCPenney, etc... You're asking for people to fund things for you that you can't afford. You go scan everything and they put it ONLINE!!!! Well, why isn't that tacky? huh? If it's in the way you ask, I call BS.

If all of this is so frowned upon, then why does Disney offer it? Hmmmmm? I posted the link to it earlier.... Please, I'm eagerly awaiting your "informative" responses on this one.

Also, if you have a Public Wish list on Amazon.com, is that a GFM? It's able to be viewed by anyone and they can buy it for you and send it to you. Also, don't ask for things in advance of wedding showers, baby showers, holiday gifts/presents... .it's apparently all the same thing.

A company, whose sole purpose is to make money, would be remiss to not exploit something that will produce profits. But that doesn't mean it defines the morality of it, lol. Online registries are very helpful and convenient for weddings and baby showers IMHO, but I can't imagine why you would have a public wish list on Amazon. That's bizarre to even think random people you know would go on and say, "Hmm, Mary wants a new camera, omg, I think I'll buy it for her!", except, I guess, if you have the most thoughtful family/social circle in the world. Also, the concept of "gifts" and "presents" seems to mean something totally different to many people now, apparently.

 

[Laura66]

Those outside of the drum corps world will have no idea... So I'll retract that example at this point.

I know plenty of people on drum corp. The people I know wouldn't dream of soliciting others to fund a "want" their family enjoys! They budget and do without other "wants" so they can make it happen.

 

[mousehockey37]

I know plenty of people on drum corp. The people I know wouldn't dream of soliciting others to fund a "want" their family enjoys! They budget and do without other "wants" so they can make it happen.

As I said, in the drum corps forums, there's actually a spot for those that need the help to post and this was around long before sites like GFM and such...

 

[EMom]

Begging, unless your life depends on it, will always be bad manners.

It really is just that simple.

 

[diznygirl]

Then no one from this point on, should ever do any kind of registry ever again... Is this what I'm understanding? Going to Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, Sears, JCPenney, etc... You're asking for people to fund things for you that you can't afford. You go scan everything and they put it ONLINE!!!! Well, why isn't that tacky? huh? If it's in the way you ask, I call BS.

If all of this is so frowned upon, then why does Disney offer it? Hmmmmm? I posted the link to it earlier.... Please, I'm eagerly awaiting your "informative" responses on this one.

Also, if you have a Public Wish list on Amazon.com, is that a GFM? It's able to be viewed by anyone and they can buy it for you and send it to you. Also, don't ask for things in advance of wedding showers, baby showers, holiday gifts/presents... .it's apparently all the same thing.

Because a Wedding Registry is traditionally about setting your new home up with it's needs - small appliances, silverware, towels and china. It is not about setting you up with a Fireworks Cruise or airplane tickets.

If I give cash to a young couple, I imagine it may go towards a nice romantic dinner. Or maybe the living room drapes. If they get enough cash they can choose to do the fireworks cruise at Disney, but they shouldn't count on it as an obligation from their wedding guests.

So it's all about being secretive. Making people have to run around and find someone in the know. What if nobody knows? Who do you ask? Is it seen as tacky to ask the bride and groom then at that point?

I find it funny how if people are upfront about the registry it's seen as tacky yet if it's a secret and you have to act like you're in high school and ask around for information, that's acceptable....

It's tacky to expect gifts. Yes, you will probably receive them for a wedding. But they shouldn't be expected. Sending a registry card with your invite is showing your guest that you expect a gift.

In addition to your error of clearly expecting that you WILL receive gifts, you are also making the error of expecting to have some say in how your guests should be spending their money on your gift.

This is all about manners. Sometimes it just comes easier to some people than to others.

 

[mousehockey37]

In addition to your error of clearly expecting that you WILL receive gifts, you are also making the error of expecting to have some say in how your guests should be spending their money on your gift.

I'd think that common sense would pull through on something like this and that with a registry, no matter what it is, that it would be a guide to helping pick a gift that the couple will get use of, not something that may never make it out of the box. In reality what's worse? Knowing that you paid for a dolphin interaction that may be a once in a lifetime thing and get a thank you card with the picture of the couple with the dolphins? or would you rather see the coffee maker that you arbitrarily bought for them on your own in their first yard sale because neither of them have a use for it?

 

[Anastasi]

Those outside of the drum corps world will have no idea... So I'll retract that example at this point.

That is quite insulting to parents of children involved in many different expensive activities. I am pretty sure any parent whose child is involved with a travel team of any kind knows all about fundraising. I hardly doubt it is any different than a child wanting to travel on a hockey team, marching band, dance team or any other kind. My best friend's child is at WDW this weekend for DECA. That also looks very good on their transcripts. In the true business sense of DECA, the students worked their tails off doing odd jobs all year to fund their trips in case they made it to Disney. They refused to solicit funds without any kind of work involved.

A close relative is at the Cheerleading Worlds this same weekend. WDW must be packed this weekend, lol. They too had fundraisers all year just in case they received a bid and not a paid bid. Next week, the sibling is going to the Summit in Disney, so they are just staying the week.

So, how is Drum Corps any different? Are these children more special and can't fundraise?