Furious - need some clarity

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by FlyingDumbo, May 9, 2013.

  1. Colleen27

    Colleen27 DIS Veteran

    Mar 31, 2007
    Personally, I'd report the confrontation to HR (in writing) but then leave the ball in their court. While the idealist in me would chafe at the apparent double-standard at play I wouldn't make a stink about that because as a "peon" you're not likely to win that fight, and I assume you want to keep your job. Will she get away without punishment because of her status? Maybe. It sucks but that's life in the real world. But it is also possible that HR is operating in CYA mode because of possible fallout from a physician on their staff exhibiting such a lack of judgment commonly associated with impairment, and that they simply want to keep the entire incident, including any disciplinary action, as quiet as possible.
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  3. Zooshoveller

    Zooshoveller WAR EAGLE

    Sep 4, 2012
    Her insurance has to provide a comparable vehicle. A compact economy is not the same as an SUV.
  4. Liberty Belle

    Liberty Belle <font color=green>I was going to reply, but I see

    Aug 23, 2006
    Do you think all people who commit hit and runs (of vehicles) should just be ticketed? Now, you've got me wondering what the law is in my state. Maybe it does just warrant a ticket.
  5. shortbun

    shortbun <font color=green>Peacenik<br><font color=purple><

    Aug 21, 1999
    Wow, what a story. I'd call HR, tell them to instruct her to leave you alone and tell them to handle everything. You should NOT be deciding anything about her fate. You should be getting a vehicle large enough for you to be comfortable-you ARE pregnant and under a ton of stress because of the loss and harassment. Do ask that the video be preserved until the claim is settled.
    Firing her will do nothing for you. Breathe, eat healthy, get some excersize and drink lots of fluids. You need to take care of yourself. Focus on the positive around you as much as possible.
  6. cabanafrau

    cabanafrau DIS Veteran

    May 10, 2006
    As far as the under the influence speculation, it's possible, but not my first guess by any means.

    My best guess is she was running late for work and it's not at all an uncommon phenomenon for her. Sure, she's a doc driving an expensive vehicle and probably makes a nice salary, but she's got a family, bills & very likely student loans. And while her job status seems elevated, more likely than not she's a cog in a corporate wheel of some type. Even doctors are subject to showing up on productivity reports with negative numbers for being late, backing up appointment times and patient waits.

    None of this is OP's problem and doesn't excuse the doctor's behavior, just my alternative theory.

    If approached again, OP, simply and firmly explain your insurance company is handling the matter. End of story. Get in your vehicle & dial the security office if she attempts to bar your leaving further.
  7. Disney  Doll

    Disney Doll DIS Security Matron

    Nov 5, 2000
    OK let's take a step back and breathe....

    Your car is damaged.
    It is an inconvenience.
    The MD was wrong to drive away.
    No one was injured. No one was killed.

    I would be very careful about playing the "pregnancy/stress/I'm calling out sick" game. That can backfire on you. You don't want people to start thinking you are unstable because of your pregnancy.

    You have notified the police, your insurance company and your HR Dept. Let them do their jobs.

    If the car rented for you is not acceptable, call whomever you rented the car through (your insurance vs. her insurance) and tell hem that the car is not acceptable because you cannot get in & out of it easily and you'd like a car that's more suitable to your physical needs at the moment.

    If the MD approaches you again, simply say to her " I do not wish to discuss this with you and do not want you to try and speak to me again". Make it a very clear statement so that if she tries again AFTER that, then you can start with the harrassment stuff.

    Be aware that the MD probably won't get fired, despite what the HR policy says. I assume you work a a hospital, there is a double standard where MDs are concerned and you have to decide how much energy you want to expend on this situation. Sure, if you make enough noise you can probably get her fired. But be VERY aware that YOU will then also be branded a troublemaker and they will be looking for ways to get rid of you.

    At the most, if someone contacts you from HR, my statement to them would be "You have written policies in place which guide you as to what should be done in his situation. I assume you will do the right thing and follow YOUR policies".

    As far as contacting a lawyer...well, you can certainly do that if it would make you feel better and perhaps the lawyer can give you some guidance on how this thing will probably shake out. But I wouldn't start sic-ing lawyers on anyone unless you need to. Don't tip your hand unless it becomes necessary.

    Is the MD harassing you? Well probably not yet. One encounter where she was somewhat desperate to reserve her reputation does not necessarily denote harrassment. If she coninues to approach you, you have more of a case. Just make it quite clear that you DO NOT want to speak to her, period.

    Again OP, determine how much of your time, energy and angst this is worth...

    It's a car accident, not a cancer diagnosis. Keep your perspective.
  8. Kristibo42

    Kristibo42 DIS Veteran

    Mar 28, 2005
    I say have her fired!!!!! I would!!!
  9. krcit

    krcit DIS Veteran

    Feb 29, 2004

    :thumbsup2 Excellent post.
  10. Bob NC

    Bob NC DIS Veteran<br><font color="red">I am a trained pr

    Mar 3, 2000
    I think I told a pregnant woman to keep her perspective once.

  11. Lorelei Lee

    Lorelei Lee DIS Veteran

    Feb 6, 2011

    She has no cause of action and therefore no standing to seek preservation of the evidence. Remember, the property damage is fully insured, she's not even being asked to pay her deductible. The auto insurer is the only party with a cognizable claim. Let them pay counsel to preserve the evidence for their subrogation rights.

    I'd agree with you if the alleged harassment was caught on video. It apparently wasn't.

    Sent from my SCH-I800 using DISBoards
  12. VickiVM

    VickiVM <font color=blue>Not above flirting with Tag Fairi

    May 3, 2001
    Wow - a lot of HR hatin'. We're not that bad:)
  13. dakcp2001

    dakcp2001 <font color=darkorchid>Am I wrong to want a cashie

    Jun 8, 2007
    OK, I work at a hospital. I am going to break it down for you. Things are not fair. I have no idea what you do for work, but I can tell you this. That Dr will not be getting fired. Anything you do to push the issue will make you look worse. Is it fair? Heck to the NO. But it is reality. A doctor is always going to be put first even when they are wrong. I have seen some crazy stuff in my day. I would be seeing red if that happened to me and I'd have probably gotten myself fired when she got all up in my face in the parking lot. It takes a lot to get me that mad, but this situation I think would do it. I don't blame you for being furious. Which by the way, is there security footage of her doing that in the parking lot? If it is in the same lot as the accident, I would say probably. Go to work tomorrow, and if she comes near you tell her to take a hike or yell for someone to help you. Have a witness present if you speak with her or HR. Always have a witness. I would not bother with HR they are not looking out for you at this point, she is going to be considered the priority. Doctors are not easy to replace. If she has a history of bad behavior or perhaps any prior infractions this might stick to her, but probably not.

    PS I would call the insurance company and make sure they secure the video of the accident, and also ask if they can get the video of her speaking to you by your car. Your insurance may provide you legal council if needed.
  14. Lorelei Lee

    Lorelei Lee DIS Veteran

    Feb 6, 2011
    Her insurance company is not going to hire counsel to represent her interests. They only hire a lawyer if you're being sued for something for which they will indemnify you.

    It's been my experience that if a prosecutor needs a complaining witness to make a case, the prosecutor will be in touch with the witness and will let the witness know when and where to show up.

    It's also been my experience that trying to find out when a traffic violation hearing is on the calendar is very difficult without knowing the ticket number.

    Here on Long Island -- if you get a ticket in Suffolk County your hearing will be at the DMV. If you got the ticket in Nassau County you're headed to the county Parking and Violations Agency. In either county, something more onerous than a traffic ticket is venued in District Court.

    So there are no one-size-fits- all recommendations here.

    Whether I'd show up for a hearing on the traffic violation would depend on whether I was asked to be there, whether the harassment had continued and whether I had calmed down after the car was fixed and paid for.

    Sent from my DROID RAZR using DISBoards
  15. TLuvsD

    TLuvsD DIS Veteran

    Aug 8, 2010
    Let the insurance company know you need an SUV, not a compact car. You need to be comfortable.

    Write a statement about what happened in the parking lot (Factual, not emotional). Give it to your insurance company, your immediate supervisor or HR. You don't expect any response, you just want them to be aware of the situation. You know they have written guidelines in place and you are confident they will act appropriately.

    If she comes up to you at work, you don't have time to talk to her. You have work to do, any contact should be through the insurance company/HR. Let your supervisor/HR know of further contact. Write it down, keep a log. Once you have written it down, let it go. If she comes up to you in the parking lot, ask for a security escort, get a friend to walk with you, etc.

    Make sure the insurance company has a copy of the video. It could be important later.
  16. CaliBear

    CaliBear DIS Veteran

    Mar 23, 2012
    I think there is a lot of great advice in this post. I feel for you, but I would strongly advise not to call in sick or claim any kind of stress or illness due to this incident. Continue to go to work, on time, and work your entire shift. If they think you are unbalanced or unprofessional during this conflict- as wrong as that may be- if they think it, you are the one who will suffer, not that idiot doctor. Tell her you will not discuss this matter with her if she approaches you again and go on about your business. I hope you feel better about this soon.
  17. aaarcher86

    aaarcher86 DIS Veteran

    Feb 17, 2010
  18. Allison

    Allison DIS Veteran

    Oct 27, 2005
    Exactly what I was thinking.
  19. dakcp2001

    dakcp2001 <font color=darkorchid>Am I wrong to want a cashie

    Jun 8, 2007
    Maybe where you work, but where I work, HR is THAT BAD. Worse even.
  20. Tozzie

    Tozzie DIS Veteran

    Jun 21, 2008
    It depends on the laws of where the op lives where i live leaving the scene wheather it is on private property or not is a criminal offeense and she could be arested if the victim wanted to press charges.
  21. runsandjumps

    runsandjumps DIS Veteran

    Aug 31, 2012
    I think wanting her fired is over the top.

    I get that she totaled your car, I understand your anger, but no one was bodily injured and this is why we have insurance. People make dumb mistakes, and yes she should have been more concerned, but her position shouldn't be decided by you.

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