Princessmommymouse
Earning My Ears
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2012
We leave for Disneyland in three days and I am about ready to stay home and send my husband and kids without me. We've had this trip planned for two years and I can hardly stand myself for wanting to go.
My mother has stage four breast cancer and we are living with her and caring for her through her treatments so that my dad can keep working. I am the primary caregiver to my mom while he is at work, and she has been incredibly sick after her Chemo.
Her next treatment is Thursday, and we leave Friday. My dad will be with her Saturday and Sunday, but must return to work Monday, leaving my mom without anyone for eight hours on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. I have pleaded with my seven siblings to try and find someone to be with her during that time but they are all too busy to "facilitate my vacation". So as it stands now my mom will be alone, during the worst period of her treatment, unless I give up the vacation we have been planning and have had paid for since well before my mom had cancer.
I feel so guilty. I want to go so badly, and have a break from the huge responsibility that is caring for someone with cancer. I really need this respite for my own mental health. But I am afraid of what might happen while I am gone.
My dad said he would figure something out before we left, but with only three days left to go there is still nothing. My mom says to just go and have fun that she will be fine, but I know how she has been after treatment and I know she needs 24 hour care during that time. I know if I go I will be worried about her the whole time, but if I stay I know I will resent that I couldn't go.
I just don't know what to do. Nothing feels right. I should be excited and happy to be going to the happiest place on earth in a few days, but all I can do is cry and worry and feel guilty for wanting to go. This is my kids first trip, and I really don't want to miss out on it.
Should I stay or should I go? I just don't know.
My mother has stage four breast cancer and we are living with her and caring for her through her treatments so that my dad can keep working. I am the primary caregiver to my mom while he is at work, and she has been incredibly sick after her Chemo.
Her next treatment is Thursday, and we leave Friday. My dad will be with her Saturday and Sunday, but must return to work Monday, leaving my mom without anyone for eight hours on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. I have pleaded with my seven siblings to try and find someone to be with her during that time but they are all too busy to "facilitate my vacation". So as it stands now my mom will be alone, during the worst period of her treatment, unless I give up the vacation we have been planning and have had paid for since well before my mom had cancer.
I feel so guilty. I want to go so badly, and have a break from the huge responsibility that is caring for someone with cancer. I really need this respite for my own mental health. But I am afraid of what might happen while I am gone.
My dad said he would figure something out before we left, but with only three days left to go there is still nothing. My mom says to just go and have fun that she will be fine, but I know how she has been after treatment and I know she needs 24 hour care during that time. I know if I go I will be worried about her the whole time, but if I stay I know I will resent that I couldn't go.
I just don't know what to do. Nothing feels right. I should be excited and happy to be going to the happiest place on earth in a few days, but all I can do is cry and worry and feel guilty for wanting to go. This is my kids first trip, and I really don't want to miss out on it.
Should I stay or should I go? I just don't know.