Family memories, Disney didn't rank high. Surprised.

[dAnconia]

Your story made me draw a parallel to children's clothing. I often buy my kids a few special outfits and because they are "special" and often expensive they don't wear them that often. Recently I was going through bins of their old clothes getting things ready to sell, pass on, and save. The items I found myself saving and having the strongest feelings about were the ratty things that were cheap because I put them on all the time. The things that they wore week after week to paint, play in the mud, and go to the playground.

 

[minkydog]

Hmmm...memories of dad...my kids would probably say camping. DH did not come from a camping family so he had to learn right along with the kids and some of the experiences were pretty memorable. With the family, we have a few--a cross-country RV trip, WDW, Disneyland, and our cruise. But there's lots of little things--watching the "Harry Potter" marathon, Girls Night Out with DD, picking cherries in the top of my sisters tree, raising gerbils, various ER experiences.

OP, I think It's really important to take the time to reminisce with your kids about the good times with their dad, even if its painful. Tears and longing for your much loved husband and father have a way of bonding survivors, reassuring them that his memory will never die as long as they're alive. Please accept my loving condolences

 

[Robinrs]

I'm so sorry for your loss... I had no idea.

I think we plan and plan and plan and think that everyone will be thrilled with what we've come up with... sometimes it's just another day for them.

My son and I went to Orlando at least 30 times from the time he was 6 to 15yo. He told me barely remembers anything about them except meeting DISers, which he remembers like they were family members!

I remember reading a book that separated people into 3 categories, SIGHT, HEARING AND FEELING. You can tell what category they fell into by asking them about a party they went to or what they remember most about growing up.

My son is a FEELINGS person. He remembers Dan Murphy, Barry Hom and the DIS people because they made him FEEL good. The sights and sounds of the parks were nice but they didn't hold a big place in his heart.

He did remember the Bear in the Big Blue House because the voice of the moon was an old friend who passed away. He tears up when he thinks of that.

Everyone remembers things differently. It's not that they're not important, it's just that other things matter more.

 

[Pigeon]

I suspect my kids wouldn't list Disney either.

We've taken them a couple of times and they were old enough to remember the trips. We all had fun.

But the last couple of years, when we've discussed vacation plans, Disney doesn't rank at all in what they'd prefer to do. Oddly, they love when we rent a house on a lake in the middle of nowhere in the Adirondacks. There's no texting, no TV, no internet, so it always surprises me that they'd want to do that. They talk excitedly about canoeing, hanging out in the lake, sitting on the screened porch, and going to see the low-key attractions. That I think they see as family time much more than rushing around trying to do a bunch of rides in huge crowds with sensory overload.

I like Disney more than they do. I think as vacations go, they found it sort of stressful.

 

[kate_wdw]

Eliza, thanks for sharing your story. I found it sweet and reassuring. I'm so sorry for your and your family's loss.