Exhausted from parenting/ASD children/Welcome to Schmolland!

Discussion in 'disABILITIES Community Board' started by iwrbnd, Apr 19, 2010.

  1. bookwormde

    bookwormde <font color=darkorchid>Heading out now, another ad

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    Certainly not a bad parent.

    Our kids get overwhelmed at times no matter where they are on the spectrum.

    It is helpful to do a social autopsy reasonably soon after the she decompresses and is rested. Even if you know the primary cause, there are almost always a series of events that brought the stress level up to where there was a major meltdown.

    Oh by the way, do not be to over reliant on IQ scales, I have worked with lots of kids who measured 60-80 but were in reality quite intelligent once their particular "style" of intelligence was recognized and supported
     
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  3. toodycat

    toodycat DIS Veteran

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    You're not a bad parent. You're a parent who faces more challenges than others. Hang in there and stay strong.
     
  4. tinkslite

    tinkslite Mouseketeer

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    In the last 8 weeks she has been "on her period" for six! Bleeding heavily. I am sitting in the ER right now, waiting for blood work and answers......sigh.:confused3
     
  5. bookwormde

    bookwormde <font color=darkorchid>Heading out now, another ad

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    Most likely cause is a hormonal imbalance at her age. Might also be a contributor to her recent heightened emotional variability and intensity
     
  6. toodycat

    toodycat DIS Veteran

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    I hope everything works out and you get information that is helpful. Sending you hugs!
     
  7. Clochette nordique

    Clochette nordique DIS Veteran

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    :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

    :tinker: Poussière de fée!
     
  8. blondietink

    blondietink DIS Veteran

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    Also could possibly be a side effect of any medications she might be taking. I once worked with a person with Autism who was taking Risperidol (sp?) and she actually started lactating!

    Hope you find the answer. Let us know.
     
  9. tinkslite

    tinkslite Mouseketeer

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    Hospital ruled out hemorage of any kind, infection, and a number of other things through blood work. they didn't rule out thyroid issues but are testing (should come back today). one med she is taking has dysfunctional menses as a VERY rare side effect. We will try to get in to family doc later today. ER doc gave her a call, while we were there as a heads up.In the meantime, I am keeping her home from school as she seems very worn out.
     
  10. pls5286

    pls5286 DIS Veteran

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    I know I haven't posted about DSS in a while, but we now have full physical and legal custody of him, now 13, will only supervised visitation for his BM. This culminated during Christmas break from school when she had him during the first part of the break. We never got all of the complete details out of what started everything as DSS could not tell us everything and DM would only say he was being a "butthole" but used another term and she could not control him.

    Christmas Day some type of altercation occurred between DSS and his mom and he had some type of meltdown. It had to do with the gifts he got for Christmas, we know that. His mom did not like his behavior and put him out of the house! Yes, she put a 13 y/o Aspie outside in the cold rain on Christmas Day. She called my DH and said he can't come back in my house, come get him now. When he asked what was wrong, all she would tell him was he was ungrateful for all she did for him.

    His mom live 2 1/2 hours away from us. Our money is extremely tight now and was worse then. We did not have money to buy the kids Christmas. We bought them one gift each. My parents bought the rest. We had no gas for the trip. I told my dad what was going on and he gave me the money and told me "Go get that baby and bring him home." Off we went to get him. When we got there and he was still outside. He was crying and ran up to us soaking wet and freezing. He was begging us to take him to our house. We told him he was going with us and to get in the car to get warm. We went in and got him some dry clothes and his school book bag. That was all we wanted. She said to take him. She could not take him acting like he does.

    We got him changed and warm and headed home. Once we got to my parents' we fed him and then took part in the rest of the Christmas activities and loved on our kids. We were not upset that we had to go get him like we did, we were supposed to get him the next day. We were very upset about what she did to him.

    We filed a report with DFACS and also filed an emergency custody order for him. We were given temporary emergency custody of him. We now have full legal and physical custody of him! The judge took into account the fact that she will not take him to the doctor. I do a majority of that because my husband works. She will not pick up his prescriptions. We do. She will send him here without meds so we have to pick them up. She will go as far (and has) to call DFACS on us when we couldn't get a prescription for him filled and drive it 30 min to her house for him when she could have driven 10 min to pick it up. Her claim was we were denying him medical care!

    His school has made numerous comments that he is doing so much better now that he is living with us. His behavior and his grades have greatly improved. He is now passing every class. His grades improved on average of 15 points per subject except for 1. He has had perfect attendance since being with us as well. He has also had a much better behavior record at school once getting settled back down into our routine.

    We are looking into buying a bigger house because our current home is not really big enough to fit our current needs. The boys are 16 and 13 and are piled into one room. They need their own space.
     
  11. toodycat

    toodycat DIS Veteran

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    Love and blessings to you all! I'm sure your DSS is feeling much happier and much more secure in your home. His mom clearly doesn't get it or him. Your Christmas was unbelievable; she is clearly lacking in judgment, parenting skills and compassion. Thank goodness the court grasped that and DSS is safe and sound with you.
     
  12. iwrbnd

    iwrbnd DIS Veteran

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    I haven't checked in for awhile but I'm glad people are still supporting each other here! This is such a great group of parents and I get so much out of reading the posts!

    I'm hanging in there with my ASD son. I almost home-schooled him last year because he was having so many "shut-downs" but I ended up doing a low dose anti-anxiety medication and he's improved a lot on that.

    Life is still hard and I get down but just "keep on swimming". What else can I do?

    Thanks for the support here and letting me know I'm not alone!:goodvibes
     
  13. blondietink

    blondietink DIS Veteran

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    I hate this transition planning ....... had another meeting yesterday afternoon. Adult services are just so ....... inconsistent, lacking, etc.

    DS has been so stable with school and starting July 1st everything will be so totally different. The push is on here in NYS for employment of people with disabilitites, which is a good thing, but they are not putting in the supports we need to make that happen.

    Just last week the school saw something from DS that has not happened in years. There was an electrical fire at the High School near the end of the day. The school was evacuated to the middle school and the students were dismissed from the middle school. This meant that DS could not get back into the high school to get his backpack which he HAD TO HAVE. He escalated ... the teacher was out sick that day ..... nobody could get through to him that it was okay to not have his backpack ...... another teacher rode the bus home with DS ..... robo call from the school stated we could go back into the school later to retrieve left items needed for homework, etc. .... DS arrives home still upset ...... we go to the school (still upset) to get the backpack .... finally calms down ...... we go to the last night of bowling league .... he bowls his high score of the season of 156!

    Too bad the school didn't inform DS that there would be an electrical fire 10 minutes before it happend and we would not have had a problem, LOL!
     
  14. toodycat

    toodycat DIS Veteran

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    Hi, all. Things here are fine. DS is doing ok in his first year. Tonight he came home to tell me that he joined a lab group in electronics class! He'd been doing everything singlehandedly and taking a lot of time to finish the labs. Tonight, he actually initiated conversation with the other guys to work on the project together. Woo hoo!
     
  15. blondietink

    blondietink DIS Veteran

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    That's great!

    Whoo hoo!!! Went to Surrogates Court on Monday and was granted guardianship of both my DS's. Papers came in the mail today! Total cost to us: $20.00 each. So glad I live in a rural county.

    Now just have to deal with the 4.5% cut to OPWDD services that New York State has implemented in their newest budget. UGH!
     
  16. toodycat

    toodycat DIS Veteran

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    Congratulations! That is great. New York is cutting the budget in all the wrong places.
     

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