Engagement issues already....

[jevs]

They can be a lot of fun. As I said, we pick and choose which ones we go to, and we tend to get out not too long after dinner. Come to Northern CT and see for youself! LOL!

Another place to visit

 

[Nancyg56]

They sure do. Generally out for a meal and then a load of drinking. Usually the groom to be doesn't pay a cent for meal and drinks, his mates do.

The only time tickets are involved is if they were doing a cruise on the river, concert, boozy bus cruise or something like that.

Oh! That is the kind of thing my son did for his brother. Minus the heavy drinking! LOL! That was what his IL's refused to go to, they were offended that they needed to pay their dinner. Donny did not have a stag. As I said upthread, he has only gone to maybe two or three, so no way would it be okay for him to have one. Dan planned a nice meal with a few close friends and the men in the family, and he did buy a TV and a few things to raffle off. As his mother, I felt the need to "contribute" so I bought a lot of tickets, but in keeping with my normal streak of luck....I won nothing.

The girls in the family along with the wives of the friends, went to dinner, with my DD in close communication with her brother so we would knwo if our stealth purchases paid off. My DDIL could not join us,..... She was with the two guys who boycotted the party.

 

[Nancyg56]

Another place to visit

Make it in October...it is wicked gorgeous here in the Fall!

 

[roseaster]

It is a pretty normal thing here, so I guess it is regional. No gift at a J&J. I have no idea what couples do with the money and I don't care. I figure my $20 ticket helps a little, as do the tickets I buy for raffles. I never win anything.

It is bad taste to go outside of what is acceptable in your area. It is not bad taste to do what is an acceptable wedding event in your area. What is tacky here may not be be tacky in your area, but if the number of J&J I have either attended or bought tickets to is any indication of what is normal here, I guess it's not considered tacky. I did not want to participate in one for my DS because my family does not have them. Not that way they are in my area.

So let me ask you? Do you folks have stags in your neck of the woods? We do here and the guys buy tickets. They have raffles, and they are meant to raise cash for the wedding couple. My DH buys them for just about every coworker who has a family member getting married although he attends few now. Just about everyone I know who has gotten married has one, along with a shower for the bride. My DDIL tols my son they do nto have them where she was raised.

So, lately, with younger people, bachelor parties are the wedding party guys getting together for a weekend trip of drunken debauchery. Drinking, strippers, nightclub, casinos etc. More traditionally it was a night out, but, lately, I have noticed that they are becoming 3 day weekend things. The wedding party members each pay for themselves and they split the cost of the groom. The same with bachelorette parties.

I have never seen anyone charge admission to a party or have auctions as a fundraiser unless it was for an actual charitable event.

Regional, or not, I think it is in bad taste to expect your guests to pay to attend your party or expect people to contribute money to pay for your wedding.

Again, maybe I am old, but I think that you plan the wedding that you can afford. You don't ask anyone else to foot your bill. (even parents) If people want to make a gift of certain aspects of your wedding, that is a lovely gesture, but to right out ask for money is rude in my book.

 

[Nancyg56]

So, lately, with younger people, bachelor parties are the wedding party guys getting together for a weekend trip of drunken debauchery. Drinking, strippers, nightclub, casinos etc. More traditionally it was a night out, but, lately, I have noticed that they are becoming 3 day weekend things. The wedding party members each pay for themselves and they split the cost of the groom. The same with bachelorette parties.

I have never seen anyone charge admission to a party or have auctions as a fundraiser unless it was for an actual charitable event.

Regional, or not, I think it is in bad taste to expect your guests to pay to attend your party or expect people to contribute money to pay for your wedding.

Again, maybe I am old, but I think that you plan the wedding that you can afford. You don't ask anyone else to foot your bill. (even parents) If people want to make a gift of certain aspects of your wedding, that is a lovely gesture, but to right out ask for money is rude in my book.

Meh. If you had been seeing this happen since you were a kid, it would be a normal thing to you. The three day parties that seem to be a rite of passage for brides and grooms are tacky to me.

In my family, mothers pay for showers. Oh we know Emily says you can't so nowhere in that invitation will you see our names, but we all foot the bill. It's all in what you are used to.

Now.... Ask me what my opinion is about that dollar dance! lol! If my ddil family thought I was difficult, you can bet my ils had plenty to say when i refused to have a dollar dance at our wedding..... lol!

 

[CarolAnn856]

Are guys for real.
I didn't bump a thread.
I happened to see that this crazy thread was already back up on the top of page one.
Two threads earlier today by the resident 'horse-beaters'.

I have not ever made a reference to 'red flags' etiher.
That one is just genius!!! Gotta hand it to you!!

Maybe you all are incapable of actually looking at posts and times and dates.
But you are excellent at creating total and complete fiction.
Certainly experts at hurling personal attacks!!!

Gotta love it, because to me, the DIS is a great source of entertainment!

Actually, the two times I saw you re-bump there was at least an hour to two between the last post and yours. So, instead of letting the thread possibly sink down, you commented, making sure that it went right back up to the top. Topics have varied considerably and others are clearly enjoying the conversation. Why does that bother you? It must, since you keep posting as if we should end it just because you have lost interest.

 

[Nancyg56]

Actually, the two times I saw you re-bump there was at least an hour to two between the last post and yours. So, instead of letting the thread possibly sink down, you commented, making sure that it went right back up to the top. Topics have varied considerably and others are clearly enjoying the conversation. Why does that bother you? It must, since you keep posting as if we should end it just because you have lost interest.

Exactly my thought.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Put me in the boat of thinking a jack and jill was only a bathroom shared by two bedrooms (we actually have one in our house) . I'm still trying to wrap my head aroud this other meaning

Umm Nancyg56 that sounds like a very crazy weird (in a way since I'm not familiar with it) situation you had going on there.

ETA: I also didn't have a dollar dance at my wedding..ehh just didn't feel right to me.

But my husband's step-sister did when she got married a few years before us and she did pretty well with it making some good money...but I just didn't like the idea of it..no offense to those who have no problem with it.

 

[arminnie]

Doesn't anyone do parties for the bride or for the couple that do not entail gifts or money? In my world (in many states from one end of the country to the other) it is common to give a party that is not a shower - nor is there an admission charge.

I recently gave a luncheon for the women guests (about 45) who arrived on before the wedding. It was a great time for people (many of whom were coming from several states) to connect prior to the official wedding activities. For another wedding several of us went together and held a brunch prior to the wedding activities for about 100 people. No gifts as these were not showers. Nor did we sell tickets.

When more of the people are local it is common to have several luncheons (female) or dinners (usually coed) in honor of the couple. Just a time to enjoy each others' company - no gifts.

 

[mjkacmom]

Here, at the very minimum, guys rent out a go-go bar, but the guests pay for their drinks and their "dollars." DH had a night in NYC at a high end go-go bar, hotel, with his close friends, followed by a local one the next day with anyone who had a Sunday afternoon to kill (surprise, planned by his groomsmen). Weekends at AC, or Myrtle Beach, also happened with his friends.

 

[Nancyg56]

Put me in the boat of thinking a jack and jill was only a bathroom shared by two bedrooms (we actually have one in our house) . I'm still trying to wrap my head aroud this other meaning

Umm Nancyg56 that sounds like a very crazy weird (in a way since I'm not familiar with it) situation you had going on there.

Lol!!! Welcome to my World!!! Lol!!!

 

[sam_gordon]

I have not ever made a reference to 'red flags' etiher.

Not ever?

I saw a real red flag.

I see that as another red flag.

That is a huge red flag for 'controlling' behaviors.

I would consider that to be a red flag.

Another HUGE red flag.

Now, I'll give you, you haven't used the term very much recently, but you are "known" to some on here as seeing "red flags" quite often. BTW, this isn't a "personal attack", but it is the truth.

 

[roseaster]

Doesn't anyone do parties for the bride or for the couple that do not entail gifts or money? In my world (in many states from one end of the country to the other) it is common to give a party that is not a shower - nor is there an admission charge.

I recently gave a luncheon for the women guests (about 45) who arrived on before the wedding. It was a great time for people (many of whom were coming from several states) to connect prior to the official wedding activities. For another wedding several of us went together and held a brunch prior to the wedding activities for about 100 people. No gifts as these were not showers. Nor did we sell tickets.

When more of the people are local it is common to have several luncheons (female) or dinners (usually coed) in honor of the couple. Just a time to enjoy each others' company - no gifts.

I know some people do a bridal tea.

When people would mention a "Jack and Jill" shower I just assumed it meant a co-ed shower. I never imagined it was a money making ting. Bear in mind I've only read about it, it is not something that anyone I know has ever done. There has been a bridal shower and bachelor/bachelorette parties.

Since this is acceptable do you think I could throw a "party" to raise money for our Disney trip?

 

[Hikergirl]

Put me in the boat of thinking a jack and jill was only a bathroom shared by two bedrooms (we actually have one in our house) . I'm still trying to wrap my head aroud this other meaning

Umm Nancyg56 that sounds like a very crazy weird (in a way since I'm not familiar with it) situation you had going on there.

ETA: I also didn't have a dollar dance at my wedding..ehh just didn't feel right to me.

But my husband's step-sister did when she got married a few years before us and she did pretty well with it making some good money...but I just didn't like the idea of it..no offense to those who have no problem with it.

20 years ago Dh and I had a Jack and Jill party because he didn't want a bachelor party. There was no entrance fee, or raffles or anything like that. It was a BBQ with family and friends. There were no gifts because I did have a bridal shower.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

20 years ago Dh and I had a Jack and Jill party because he didn't want a bachelor party. There was no entrance fee, or raffles or anything like that. It was a BBQ with family and friends. There were no gifts because I did have a bridal shower.

hmm that's interesting..yeah it's not at all common around me. Everyone I have ever known have done separate events in the form of bachelor and bachelorette parties (some have decided not to do either). Now sometimes people have done wedding showers including both the bride to be and the groom to be instead of doing a bridal shower but that's about it..very interesting the different ways people do things.

 

[wonderlandwego]

Doesn't anyone do parties for the bride or for the couple that do not entail gifts or money? In my world (in many states from one end of the country to the other) it is common to give a party that is not a shower - nor is there an admission charge.

I recently gave a luncheon for the women guests (about 45) who arrived on before the wedding. It was a great time for people (many of whom were coming from several states) to connect prior to the official wedding activities. For another wedding several of us went together and held a brunch prior to the wedding activities for about 100 people. No gifts as these were not showers. Nor did we sell tickets.

When more of the people are local it is common to have several luncheons (female) or dinners (usually coed) in honor of the couple. Just a time to enjoy each others' company - no gifts.

In my world, spanning a few different states, The bachelor and bachelorette each do "girls" and "boys" trips. Sometimes just for a weekend, (Vegas, Nashville, etc) a few do a 5 day cruise. People pay their own way. The showers and a brunch are completely separate events, these involve gifts, but only the people hosting the event pay for the event itself.

 

[cabanafrau]

As far as I'm aware Jack and Jills with raffles and tickets isn't really a thing in this area. Matter of fact Jack and Jill doesn't seem to be a term used very often here.

 

[RedAngie]

Not ever?









Now, I'll give you, you haven't used the term very much recently, but you are "known" to some on here as seeing "red flags" quite often. BTW, this isn't a "personal attack", but it is the truth.

Good one, Sam.