Doreen's New Way of Life (comments are welcome)

[DoeWDW]

Hi All! I'm new to the WISH board but I'm up for the challenge!

I'm 39, with a hubby, 2 kids (DS 15 and DD 14), a mini dachshund, a house and a full time job.

Three years ago I lost 20 lbs by following Atkins and other low-carb plans. I did a great job of keeping most of it off until this past spring. I was diagnosed with depression and have been taking medication. Unfortunately, when I'm depressed, I don't make very good choices with food. Now I've gained back 10 of those 20 lbs.

So, I'm here to lose those 10 lbs again, help relieve my depression by eating right and exercising, and boost my self-confidence. I know this won't be easy, but few things in life worth doing are easy.

I wanted to start a journal so that I could record my ups and downs on my depression, weight loss and exercise goals. I don't mind having others read and post here, but I'll primarily be writing for me and trying to be brutally honest.

When others ask "how are you?" I tend to put on my happy face and act as if my life is just fine, even when I don't feel that way inside. Most people in my life say they would never guess I'm depressed, but that act takes so much energy to maintain! It's gotten to the point where I think I'm not honest even with myself about how I feel.

So, today is day 1! Breakfast was 2 sticks string cheese and macadamia nuts. Lunch was a salad with lots of ham & cheese on top for protein. I'm not sure what we'll have for dinner, but I'll make sure I eat low-carb. I've had LOTS of water so far today.

I want to get a pedometer and do the 10,000 steps program. You have the pedometer on all day and let it count all your steps and you try to get 10,000 steps each day. I have to get the pedometer SOON because I really feel like I need more exercise.

Enough for now!

 

[FEEBEE]

WELCOME TO WISH

THANX FOR YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT ON MY JOURNAL.

I JUST WANT TO WISH YOU LUCK, AND IF YOU TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE YOU WILL SUCCEED, DONT FORGET YU HAVE DONE IT BEFORE SO THIS TIME YOU HAVE NOTHING TO PROVE, JUST TAKE YOUR TIME, STAY FOCUSSED AND ENJOY YOUR HEALTHY ROUTE TO GOAL. HOPEFULLY I'LL SEE YOU THERE!!

 

[lulu201]

Welcome, Doreen, and best wishes on your new healthy lifestyle!
You're sure to find lots of support and fun on these boards. We're all in it together! Have a great day. . .

 

[DoeWDW]

Feebee & Lulu - thanks for your words of encouragement!! It truly does help me feel not so alone and I'm sure we can meet our goals if we just keep supporting each other.

Last evening's dinner was a chicken breast, followed by 3/4 cup of ice cream. OK, so the ice cream wasn't exactly low carb, but it only had 30 g carbs and I ate it right after the chicken, which should have helped to prevent an insulin spike. OK, do I truly believe this is OK or am I just making excuses for bad behavior? I'm not sure, to be honest.

All in all, yesterday's total carb count was about 45 grams, so I did pretty good. I'm not doing Atkins induction level so 45 grams is probably acceptable. I'll have to see how the scale reacts to know if it's an OK carb level for me to still lose weight.

I drank lots of water yesterday. I did not get any exercise but I did run to KMart to get a pedometer. They only had one type and it didn't count steps so I'm still looking. If I was smart, I'd just order one over the web from Amazon instead of waiting until I get to a store that sells them.

I took my meds yesterday but not my multivitamin.

This morning I woke up extra tired. I have some critical meetings at work today and tomorrow. I guess I don't feel totally prepared for them. Feeling overly tired is sometimes caused by my body wanting to avoid stressful situations and shut down rather than face life - that's one way my depression shows. However, I have dragged myself to work and will get through today's meetings and prep for tomorrow's meeting (which I have to run).

Breakfast was the usual - 2 cheese sticks and some macadamia nuts. It doesn't sound like much but it's really filling. I took my meds this morning too. Lunch will be a salad with ham & cheese again. Dinner is a ham that is cooking in my crockpot as we speak - I'm patting myself on the back for getting the crockpot started this morning so that my evening will be simpler!!

 

[DoeWDW]

I'm obviously hitting the wrong keys this morning!

 

[DoeWDW]

OOPS - double post, sorry!

 

[MsDisney]

Doe,
Good luck and I'm here watching and rooting for you!!! You've done it before, so you probably have some idea what level of carbs you can have and still lose!

Be careful of all the ham...those salty products tend to cause you to retain water, which will keep the scale from moving as quickly as you might like!

Welcome to WISH and I hope you have a great day today!!!

Karen

 

[DoeWDW]

Karen, thanks for the encouragement and also for the reminder about how salty ham is. I just wasn't thinking about that!

I had a taco salad for lunch. The problem is.....it was served in a BREAD BOWL!!! I can't believe the bread bowl actually looked GOOD to me. I practically wolfed down the salad as fast as possible and almost RAN to the trash can with the bread bowl before I could change my mind.....LOL!!!

Note to self: don't put yourself through this again. I'm sure I could have requested another type of container. The good news is - I had a chance to cheat, and I walked away from it. It will get easier as the days go by and I stop craving carby stuff.

The meetings I was so stressed about today are over and went well. I will spend this afternoon prepping for tomorrow's meeting so I can wake up and face the day feeling good, instead of wanting to hide under the covers.

 

[MsDisney]

Doe,
Great job with the bread bowl!!! I can picture you running to the trash can...I can see myself doing the same thing!

I feel good about rolls now, I am now pretty able to take whatever I'm eating out of them and chuck the roll. I don't like wasting food though...but sometimes it's not practical to ask for no bun. (Mc'D's) I do get a little angry when the bun hijacks my cheese, however! (someone stole my cheese!!! )

I ordered a double cheeseburger at Dixie landings (POR) the other night and asked for no bun...well since there was no bun, they kept giving away cheeseburgers to others until I finally reminded them of mine!

I'm glad to hear your meetings went well, I know nobody starting out on a new way of eating needs any added stress!!!

Keep up the good work!

Karen

 

[lulu201]

Good morning, Doreen! YOU GO, GIRL!!! Throwing away the bread bowl is major! Geez, only those of us who have had to mentally and physically do battle with food would get that, huh? At one of my WW meetings several years ago--I think it was Attempt to Lose the Weight #678 --a woman told of being at McDonalds and pouring some of her soda on the french fries she didn't want to eat so she wouldn't be tempted.
How can a string potato (or bread bowl or candy bar or . . .)have the amazing power over us that it does???

Anyway, you're doing great this week, and with all that's going on at work you're still hanging in there. That's where I have the problem--when work gets hectic, the food starts going in!

I'll be in Wellsboro for a few days (are you familiar with this little town in upstate PA) visiting my mom, but you'll be in my thoughts as you persevere. Take care--I'll check in with you next week.

 

[DoeWDW]

Karen and Lulu - thanks again for your encouraging words! Now that I know people are reading this, I am more committed than ever to making good food choices and not giving into temptations! If I succeed, much of the credit will go to you and others on this board who are holding me accountable - thank you!

That bread bowl yesterday was EVIL! I heard it talking to me, telling me how just one little bite wouldn't hurt....very scary!

Dinner last night was lots of ham - it was delish!! I also had 4 small bites (about 1/3) of a biscuit. My son made them himself - a few carbs was a small sacrifice to see the smile on his face when I told him how good they were. However, when the rest of the family had ice cream later, I did not. I was actually really full from the ham, so I didn't feel too deprived.

I finally found my tape measure so here are the stats I'll be working to lower!
Bust 39.5
Chest 33.5
Waist 34
Hips 40
Thighs 41
My scale was back up a pound to 142 this AM - where I started on Tuesday, but I'm guessing Karen was onto something when she reminded me about how salty ham is. It is probably fluid retention and nothing more. I'm not going to stress about the scale each day as long as the long term is a downward trend.

Breakfast was the usual - string cheese and macadamias. I took my meds too! Lunch was a salad with ham & cheese on for protein. Afternoon snack will be some cashews. I'm not sure about dinner tonight. It's always dangerous when I leave dinner planning til the last minute. I'll have to make more of an effort to get stuff in the crock-pot or thawed out. I used to cook a lot on the weekends and then freeze it so we had stuff to just thaw and heat during the week - hmmm another good idea to get back to.

My big meeting is over and it went well. I'm feeling really good at the moment - not in the clutches of the depression monster for a change. Could it be all this healthy eating??

 

[Auntmeme]

Welcome Doreen

You're doing pretty good considering those stressful meetings

You know you can do it and we're here for you! Did you find the pedometer?

I have a better week/day when I plan each meal and keep prepared items in the fridge. Get some sf jello & whipped cream to have when the family has icecream, just a thought.

 

[DoeWDW]

Meme, I finally got so frustrated about waiting to find the pedometer and wanting to get started.....that I finally just ordered it from Amazon yesterday! As a treat for being good for my first couple days, I also ordered some of the WATP DVDs. So many people here use them that I thought it would be great to try them.

Of course, after treating myself I fell off the wagon last night...LOL! Hubby and I went out to dinner and I had chicken quesadillas, which are ok for me except for the flour tortilla part. Then I....gasp....went ahead and ate them! I also took a few sips of hubby's drink (a Hurricane). I'm guessing I ate about 70 extra grams of carbs that I really didn't need. In my old carby days that would have been nothing but now, it's a lot.

Anyway, I'm back on track this morning. It's a new day and a new beginning. I'm trying really hard to not beat myself up over my cheat.

I keep having these angel - devil conversations in my head, you know like the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other.
"You really blew it and you did it WILLINGLY - you'll never succeed!" "You didn't really blow it that much and you're back on track this morning so why worry about it?" I'm finding this more stressful than the actual cheat! Why can't I just let it go and move on?

The scale stayed the same this morning, so I'm happy that I didn't gain.

I had a string cheese for breakfast. Lunch will be leftover ham. I have some cashews for snack this afternoon. I didn't plan for dinner tonight but I WILL have a gameplan before I leave work!

I'm taking next Tuesday and Wednesday off. I'm hoping to plan some cooking sessions so that I can stock the freezer with things that will help me out of this predicament. I hope to make 6 low-carb cheesecakes and freeze them - I LOVE having this for breakfast! I also hope to do 6 low-carb meat loaves, 5 or 10 pounds of cooked taco meat (chicken or beef), etc. so even on those days when I don't plan for dinner, there will something appropriate in the freezer. Also hubby is picking up some Atkins bars today so if I really get into a jam, I can have one of those.

Tomorrow we're heading to a Penn State football party at my parents' house. I think I'll pick up some of that SF jello and take some other healthy snacks for me. I can do this!!

 

[Auntmeme]

Great you are back on track, try to keep track of cheat free days, this has helped me I'm up to 8, can't believe it myself

I love how you're preparing all those meals, maybe I should plan a cook session too. Are those recipes on the atkins site?

Downward we go

 

[DoeWDW]

MeMe, thanks for the encouragement! The recipes I use are not from any website - just from low-carb experience. If I get a chance, maybe I'll post them to the low-carb recipes list on the WISH board.

Well, it's Saturday and the start of a long weekend! I'm hoping to get things caught up at home and on the food front (making stuff to have in the freezer) over the next 5 days.

I ate a Wendy's mandarin chicken salad last night - had to eat fast to get to the football game. I have 2 kids in the marching band and last night was the first show. They looked so adorable in their uniforms - hardly babies anymore! I threw away the noodles that came with the salad and put on extra almonds but I'm sure the mandarin orange slices were carbier than I needed. I'll have to check Fitday to see if I need to take them out in the future. Knowledge is power!!

Haven't eaten yet this morning but the scale says I've lost 2 pounds. I'm sure it's water weight, but I'll take it! I think my "official" weigh-in and measure day will be Sunday, so we'll see how I'm doing tomorrow.

I'm feeling better and more in control of my life. The depression monster has been kept at bay for the past few days - a wonderful feeling!! Maybe this eating healthy stuff is helping! Just imagine when I add in the exercise!!

Onward and downward!

 

[DoeWDW]

I've decided that Sunday will be my official weigh & measure day so here are the stats.

Weight: 139 - started at 142 -3 pounds
Bust: 39 - started at 39.5 -.5 inch
Chest: 33.5 - started at 33.5 - no change
Waist: 33.5 - started at 34 -.5 inch
Hips: 38.5 - started at 40 -1.5 inch
Thighs: 40.5 - started at 41 -.5 inch

In addition, my moods have been better. My depression feels like it's lifting. I can only hope that eating low carb will keep my moods elevated for the long term.

I am thrilled with my progress. I know that this is mostly water weight but I'm happy it's gone. Now the real work begins.

I've done fine the past 2 days. I won't list all my food, but I've made wise choices. I've had some carbs but always a small amount of carbs after having a good amount of protein to slow their absorption. I have not done any binging. I've definitely been in control.

I hope to start exercising this week. I don't have a definite plan yet but will work on that.

All in all, I'm very happy with me!!

 

[Auntmeme]

Good for you, the inches are coming off

Start exercising this week and you'll see miracles. Stay with the good choices and have a great Labor Day!

 

[wovenwonder]

You are doing terrific Doreen! I noticed from a previous post that we live VERY close to each other. I did a search and seen you list your town in an old post. I'd rather not post the town I live in here on the boards but if you email me I'll fill you in! Excersize has been a downfall for me too. Maybe we could 'meet' for some walks every once in awhile to get both of us motivated.

It looks like we even have kids close in age. My son is 14. I also have a daughter who is 20.

 

[lulu201]

Gosh, Doreen, it sounds like you're doing great! Keep up the good work. Exercise is a great mood lifter for me. . .let me know how you feel after you work out a few times this week.

Onward and Downward!
(three bounces to celebrate your three pound loss!)

 

[DoeWDW]

The bad news is....that I fell off the low-carb wagon yesterday.

The good news is....that I learned a LOT!!

I felt so good after doing low-carb for a week. My depression was MUCH better, I had lots of energy and I was down 3 lbs. Well, after yesterday's carb-fest I felt AWFUL! I was so tired that I only wanted to sleep. My face has a zit forming. I am bloated and the scale says I've gained a lb since yesterday (I'm sure it's water weight). I feel like I have a hangover!

I am back on the wagon again today. I've eaten an Atkins bar for breakfast, taken my meds and am drinking lots of water. I went to the store this AM and stocked up on low-carb groceries. I've boiled 5 lbs of hamburger and 5 lbs of chicken breasts and put them in packets in the freezer. I got the ingredients to make low-carb cheesecake and that is next on the list. I like it for breakfast - I'm not a big egg eater!

I will be prepared with good healthy food from now on. If eating carbs does such terrible things to my body....and apparently it does...then I have to stay on the ball and give my body food that makes it feel good.

I do not feel bad at all about my slip up yesterday. It has been an eye-opening experience. I know exactly how to get back on track and how to keep it from happening again.

I have not gotten to exercise yet. I am looking forward to wearing my new pedometer all day to see how much walking I do in a normal day. Then I will slowly add in more walking, like at lunch-time when I'm working, etc.

So, onward and downward!