Does your child go to college but live at home?

[luvsJack]

FYI: there is a "college experience" that can be had from living at home. We live in a college town and LOTS of students live at home. They still do all the college "stuff".

 

[RabbitFood]

Posting one's opinion, though it may differ from a previous poster, is a "pile on"? I did not know that.

 

[wtccheermom]

Ugh.

I just can't imagine saying to your kid(s) "Here are your three choices" or "Pick an SEC school." Guess what, we tailgate every home football game for DIII private, liberal arts schools too.

Reminds me of when a friend told her DD that she had to go AWAY to college and gave her a radius on the map. Sure, being away from home can be a great experience for some kids (and I mean AWAY) but it is not for everyone. Talk about controlling... Of course, now, the DD completed grad school 900 miles away, met and married and gave birth to their only grandchild. I think she wishes she had not sent her off so far away because this may or may not have happened otherwise.

Reading these thoughts of pushing kids away from home at 18 make me see where my divorcing BIL is coming from...he has 2 kids over 18 (19 and 22) and they are on their own--he does not see them unless he needs computer help. He also has 2 kids still at home, 15 and 17. He keeps asking the 17 how she is going to pay for college next year and he tells her she needs to go to the local CC. He has less than 12 months and then he can cut contact with her also.

I've wondered about this type of "parenting" but I can see it isn't exclusive to what I think a deadbeat dad is all about. Cut'em loose, it is time. It just isn't so cut and dry for every kid.

So since you are such a perfect parent perhaps you should write a book on how to raise that special snowflake. SO what I want my kid to go to an SEC school and I want it to be the right one. you should probably call social services on me because I am not allowing my snowflake to express him or herself freely especially if that means them going to LSU . Now I am not surprised that I am one of the few posters here without a near perfect genius snowflake. I guess that is because I did not push them around in a stroller until they were 10 , I did not allow them to be picky eaters and I pretty much always take the side of the dreadful public school teachers. Oh and by the way I never said I would not shed tears or force my child to move out but I will encourage them to attend college away from home because I do not want to put my selfish needs of keeping the close to me in front of them getting a great education while having a great social experience. I do not appreciate you referring to me as a deadbeat parent because I do not want to breastfeed my snowies until they are 30.

 

[Desert Dwellers]

I'd love to continue to read the pile-on, but we're taking our kids-that-will-despise-us-when-they-turn-18 out for dinner to celebrate my birthday and our wedding anniversary.

Have a good evening, everyone.

Are you treating them to dinner, or making them go dutch?

 

[Pembo]

With college a 10 min drive away, I lived at home. I went to school full time and held 3 part time jobs.

Our kids plan on doing the same.

 

[Swan4Me]

I'd love to continue to read the pile-on,

Then why did you come on this thread and stir the pot?


One more comment about your Master Plan-

After high school graduation, my children have three options. They can move to college, get a full time job and find their own place or join the military.

Your second Option isnt smart at all. If a kid isnt going to college or the military-they need to get training and a trade-not just go out and work a dead end job that is all a high school grad will get

 

[wtccheermom]

Not to be snarky, but what college experience do you miss out on by living at home? My DS has lived about everywhere and is planning on moving back home when his lease is up. We had to have a little talk last semester about how fraturnity life isn't a major in school. He joined the fraturnity when he was a commuter student and is one of the more active members. Like I said earlier, he is on the interfraternity council, is a flame for a sorority, is an officer with his fraturnity and is a homecoming king canadate this year. He is also a member of a political group on campus.

He hates most of what is on campus. I don't think he has ever been to a basketball game and only goes to homecoming football game for the alumni. He has never been to any of the movies they show on friday nights because there is always a fraternity outing or he has to work. He did play intramural sports. He also saw some plays back when he was taking a drama class, but I don't think its something he would do on his own.

He likes to live at home to get away from all the noise! Even when he is living here, I will go days that I never see him. I joke that I would love to see him stay at school, but to be honest, it really doesn't matter one way or another.

During the summer he worked 2 jobs and did visit with some of his local friends, but they are all kids in college too. A few of them go to a local college, but they all have summer jobs too and he has made lots of friends at his jobs that he hangs out with too, so he isn't a wallflower in any way.

I'll have to text him later and tell him he can't come home anytime soon or that will make him a snowflake!!!

Inever said college experience but wanting them to be immersed in the "college atmosphere" particularly one at an SEC school big difference. Oh and by the way I don't care what other kids do I am was just sating what I want for my children but apparently that makes my husband and I deadbeat parents.

 

[Poppin Fresh]

Posting one's opinion, though it may differ from a previous poster, is a "pile on"? I did not know that.

If a post doesn't include a smug smilie, like SaraJayne's usually do, then it's a pile on.

 

[Swan4Me]

Inever said college experience but wanting them to be immersed in the "college atmosphere" particularly one at an SEC school big difference. .

I have no clue what a SEC school is

Our Uni has tailgating and a football, baseball, basketball teams

 

[kmedina]

I lived at home for the first three years of school and got my own place the last year and a half. For me, it was a financial decision. My scholarships paid for all of my schooling but did not provide housing. Unfortunately, my single father had six other kids. There was no college money for any of us. Even though I worked full time all through college, I was not able to comfortably afford a place of my own any sooner. I did not even apply for any expensive schools, so out-of-state schools were pretty much out of the question.

Living at home for me was not bad and was about a 30 minute drive to the University. Your daughter is doing what she thinks is right for her and your family. It sounds to me like she has made some very adult decisions. She probably does not want to be burdened or have you burdened with large student/parent loans.

I responded to the other post as well and said of course I would let my kids go if they wanted to. If they wanted to stay near home, I would have to support that as well. We can guide them, but the choice should be theirs. For those who are paying for their kids school, I think they should have some input within reason.

 

[glasslipper]

My DD just started college an hr &1/2 away from home and is having an extremely difficult time adjusting.I am to the point where I am considering letting her come home on weekends while staying on campus during the week. I don't want her to be totally miserable, because it will certainly affect her studies, besides depress her and I don't think it's worth it. She hates the partying scene and of course most of the students on her dorm floor are partying all weekend long. Anyone else done this?

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

I would like to have both my kids live at home for their first year of college to save on expenses.
It makes no sense to me for the kids to be spending a ton of money living on campus and taking the basic nonsense courses that were often required (when I went to school there were stupid courses like PE that had to be taken the freshman year). I don't know if college is still that way though.

But it all depends on what they want and can afford and what the college requires. Some require that the freshman in college live in the dorms.

 

[jodifla]

FYI: there is a "college experience" that can be had from living at home. We live in a college town and LOTS of students live at home. They still do all the college "stuff".

I find it really hard to believe it's the same. Even my friends who live in our old college town send their kids to campus to live.

Again, I'm sure it's a good choice for some kids.

I actually never lived in a dorm...I had an apartment I shared right off campus. Cost worked out better as we could skip the meal plan....I was one of the few freshman who actually lost 20 pounds my first year of college!

 

[jodifla]

I have no clue what a SEC school is

Our Uni has tailgating and a football, baseball, basketball teams

Southeastern Conference! Alabama, Auburn, Florida, Georgia, LSU, South Carolina, Vandy, Ole Miss, MSU, Tennessee.

Nothing like football weekends at those schools!

 

[Molliday]

So since you are such a perfect parent perhaps you should write a book on how to raise that special snowflake. SO what I want my kid to go to an SEC school and I want it to be the right one. you should probably call social services on me because I am not allowing my snowflake to express him or herself freely especially if that means them going to LSU . Now I am not surprised that I am one of the few posters here without a near perfect genius snowflake. I guess that is because I did not push them around in a stroller until they were 10 , I did not allow them to be picky eaters and I pretty much always take the side of the dreadful public school teachers. Oh and by the way I never said I would not shed tears or force my child to move out but I will encourage them to attend college away from home because I do not want to put my selfish needs of keeping the close to me in front of them getting a great education while having a great social experience. I do not appreciate you referring to me as a deadbeat parent because I do not want to breastfeed my snowies until they are 30.

Sound to me like you want to live vicariously through your child.

 

[Swan4Me]

Southeastern Conference! Alabama, Auburn, Florida, Georgia, LSU, South Carolina, Vandy, Ole Miss, MSU, Tennessee.

Nothing like football weekends at those schools!

Oh-then the nearest one of those listed above to us didnr offer the major my stay-at-home son took and he doesnt like sports =so it wasnt in the equation at ALL for him


The parent who would force a kid to go there for that reason

 

[SpecialK]

My DD just started college an hr &1/2 away from home and is having an extremely difficult time adjusting.I am to the point where I am considering letting her come home on weekends while staying on campus during the week. I don't want her to be totally miserable, because it will certainly affect her studies, besides depress her and I don't think it's worth it. She hates the partying scene and of course most of the students on her dorm floor are partying all weekend long. Anyone else done this?

My nephew had a roommate that came with a live-in girlfriend. He wouldn't budge on having her there all the time when my nephew tried to come to a compromise with him. So, nephew lived at school Mon-Thurs and came home every weekend. Took the stress off.

He's in an apt. with friends this year and loves it.

 

[wtccheermom]

Sound to me like you want to live vicariously through your child.

Nope husband and I both went to SEC schools and had a great time so don't need live that through them. I just want them to have all the great childhood and college memories I have so I am providing for them all the same experiences that I had growing up and do not see that as living through them at all.

 

[CurlyGirl]

Did it EVER dawn on you that living at home might be the difference between someone going to college and not going to college?

I'd really like an answer to my question, SaraJayne.

Some kids can't afford college and dorm. So, should a kid give up college because they can't afford both tuition and a dorm?

 

[wtccheermom]

Oh-then the nearest one of those listed above to us didnr offer the major my stay-at-home son took and he doesnt like sports =so it wasnt in the equation at ALL for him


The parent who would force a kid to go there for that reason

Do you people not get sarcasm at all???? I haven’t been socking away tons of money a year into college funds just to tell my kids “ nope if you don’t go to an SEC school” you’re on your own. Of course I will encourage them to go to one and we have started planting the seed by taking them to the schools we went to for games but if they decide to go somewhere else I am sure their dad and I will survive except if it is a school like OU or Texas then we might just flat out die.
Just in case some of you don’t get it my last few words were a joke!