Divorced parents & child's wedding

[Darcy03231]

DD just got married last fall. I'm divorced from her father and remarried and DSIL's parents are divorced. DSIL escorted his mother down the aisle before taking his place at the alter.

 

[Minniesgal]

Personally I would walk up and down the aisle on my own

 

[Luv Bunnies]

At my wedding (almost 33 years ago), the groomsman walked the moms and grandma down the aisle. My grandma was escorted first, then her usher took his place at the alter. Then MIL was walked down, with my FIL walking behind her and the usher. My mom was escorted down last. The three ushers had taken their places and were joined by DH and the best man. Then my dad walked me down the aisle. Most of my friends followed the same procedure at their weddings.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

Hi all. My son is getting married later this year and his dad and I are divorced. It was a nasty divorce and I more or less hate the man. Anyway, I was wondering if anyone has dealt with a son getting married. I'm not sure who would walk me down the aisle at the beginning and end. My other two boys are in the wedding so I was thinking that one could walk me down at the start and then join the rest of the groomsmen in the front and the other could come back at the end and escort me out. Would this be appropriate or how did you handle it?

The mothers of the bride and groom are typically escorted by the groomsmen to their seats prior to the groom the officiant and the groomsmen walking to the front together. The mother of the groom is seated first, then the mother of the bride. The groomsman typically walk back to the officiant and the groom and then all walk in as a group. Who seats whom is up to the groomsmen. On the way out it's Bride and Groom, then the wedding party, then the parents/family. There will be no escort for the way out.

As for you and your ex, you loved each other enough to have the kid, so love the kid enough to behave.

 

[AppleDumpling]

I think it’s fine to have whoever you prefer to escort you to in, provided the bride and groom don’t mind. Could be any of your sons, including the groom, could be another groomsman, could be another male relative (maybe your brother?). Or, you could walk alone. There are many variations of new and traditional wedding customs these days. I wouldn’t worry about It.

 

[footballmouse]

Thanks for your thoughts, everyone. We decided to just go for it and transfer mid-trip to stay on-site. We found a great Hotwire deal for Pop Century that is going to actually save us money. Also, FYI, for anyone interested, when I spoke with someone from Disney on the phone, they told me that it wouldn't be a problem for us to use Magical Express after dropping off our rental car. She gave me the number to call and said we would just need to call and set it up after dropping off the car.

The mothers of the bride and groom are typically escorted by the groomsmen to their seats prior to the groom the officiant and the groomsmen walking to the front together. The mother of the groom is seated first, then the mother of the bride. The groomsman typically walk back to the officiant and the groom and then all walk in as a group. Who seats whom is up to the groomsmen. On the way out it's Bride and Groom, then the wedding party, then the parents/family. There will be no escort for the way out.

As for you and your ex, you loved each other enough to have the kid, so love the kid enough to behave.

Nobody said anything about not behaving, not sure if you think I'm trying to make my kid's wedding into some white trash hillbilly party. I just wanted to know the etiquette of a divorced mom walking down the aisle.

 

[footballmouse]

I think it’s fine to have whoever you prefer to escort you to in, provided the bride and groom don’t mind. Could be any of your sons, including the groom, could be another groomsman, could be another male relative (maybe your brother?). Or, you could walk alone. There are many variations of new and traditional wedding customs these days. I wouldn’t worry about It.

I think it will be best to have one of my other boys walk me down and since it's not in a church I don't think there will be the big processional out so I'm not going to worry about that.

 

[KristaZ]

Have whoever you're comfortable with walk you down the aisle - or even walk on your own. When I got married, my mother was going to be escorted by my brother (my dad passed shortly before the wedding, so she ended up walking me). My MIL was escorted by her husband, but my FIL chose to walk on his own (though we suggested my husband's grandmother or sister escort him if he wanted).

 

[mumto3girls]

My sister had a smaller wedding with just a maid of honor and a best man. Groom didn’t have any siblings, and my sister has only sisters. I recall in the minutes before the processional at the rehearsal it was suddenly realized that there was no one to walk the moms. DH and my other BIL were quickly enlisted. DH walked my mom and BIL walked BILtobe’s mom. Not a big deal although I love the picture I have of my DH escorting my mom. They both look fantastic.

 

[disykat]

My son and his wife did the "sand ceremony" thing so the bride's mom and I walked down the aisle together carrying the sand right before the rest of the processional and placed it up front before taking our seats. It wasn't in a church and there was no receiving line so once the bridal party was out everyone just got up and moved so going back down wasn't an issue.

I've seen it handled so many different ways. My own parents were part of our procession, along with the pastors, the acolyte DH's parents, then our best man and maid of honor, then DH and I together. Traditionally, parents were escorted up right before the procession of bridesmaids, etc. Your other son's taking turns escorting you is the logical choice, IMO. It doesn't matter that they are groomsman. Older son can escort you up then take his place. If there is a receiving line at the back of a church, younger son can come back up with the best man to escort you and the bride's parents out to start the receiving line.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

Traditionally each groomsman walks out with a bridesmaid. If both of your sons are in the wedding party, aren’t they going to be walking out with a bridesmaid? Why don’t you just walk out by yourself? No one will notice or say it was inappropriate.

 

[brockash]

Nowhere did she say anything about not being civil? The question seems to be one of logistics and she wants to just know what's appropriate or how others handled walking down the aisle.

I think the point is...who does the son and bride want to have walk her down the aisle. I'd do whatever they preferred...if they prefer I walk on my own; then I walk on my own...the logistic decisions are not for the OP to make...they're up to the couple.

 

[ronandannette]

I like the matching tux idea.

It reminded me that my mom picked out her dress so carefully, and as we walked down the aisle she was still wearing her zipped up winter coat and carrying a humongous purse. That added to our width.

Yeah, I hope you didn't overpay your wedding planner. Sounds like a slight lack of attention to detail.

Then there's the MOB dresses. At DD's autumn wedding, the bride assigned colours to everybody who would be in the pictures. Me being the step-mom got the last possible choice - orange. At least if we had been the parents of the groom all I would have had to do was "wear beige and keep my mouth shut".

 

[rileyroosmom]

My son, the groom walked me to my seat and then took his place at the alter. After the ceremony, my new husband and I walked together

 

[mamamary]

Yes I would have one of your sons walk you.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

Nobody said anything about not behaving, not sure if you think I'm trying to make my kid's wedding into some white trash hillbilly party. I just wanted to know the etiquette of a divorced mom walking down the aisle.

And I gave you that etiquette. You're the one that broadcast on a national message board that you hate your ex. If you don't want it addressed, don't put it in.

 

[kymom99]

Around here typically a groomsman or usher walks each mother down the aisle. They meet and light the unity candle then sit down. If there is a husband, he walks slightly behind them and waits to be seated with the mother, except the brides father who would be in back waiting to walk the bride down the aisle.

my first wedding was a big church wedding. My dad actually followed my mom down the aisle and then my mom had to remind him he was needed in back to give me away.

that was back when we used aisle runners. The ushers would pull that back the aisle after the mothers got to their seats. My dad pushed past the guys in his haste to get to the back and the runner wasn’t straight. We laughed about it.

 

[Disneylover99]

Yeah, I hope you didn't overpay your wedding planner. Sounds like a slight lack of attention to detail.

I was the wedding planner. Once and done. HaHa!

 

[disykat]

Yeah, I hope you didn't overpay your wedding planner. Sounds like a slight lack of attention to detail.

Then there's the MOB dresses. At DD's autumn wedding, the bride assigned colours to everybody who would be in the pictures. Me being the step-mom got the last possible choice - orange. At least if we had been the parents of the groom all I would have had to do was "wear beige and keep my mouth shut".

I wore beige and kept my mouth shut at my son's wedding and it was a lot harder than I anticipated! (I consider myself pretty laid back about these things, but it was surprisingly hard to keep my opinions to myself and act enthusiastically supportive about everything they wanted.) For my younger son's wedding I still plan on keeping my mouth shut and being enthusiastically supportive but I'm really hoping to get to wear blue or green or something more flattering to my color!

 

[HeatherC]

I think it will be best to have one of my other boys walk me down and since it's not in a church I don't think there will be the big processional out so I'm not going to worry about that.

Just curious...why wouldn’t you just have the bride and groom instruct you what to do and not even mention it? It truly is about 30 seconds of the entire day. This wouldn’t even be on my radar.