Canadian Buffoon European Vacation - 30/03 - Endings and Silver Linings

[Thumper_Man]

Want to be really depressed? Google Panama canal. Either before or during US involvement.

Those deaths were due to disease in the area and not so much from building the canal itself. Still sad to see such a high number, but at that time; you could die just being in the region and not working on the canal. The 96 men that died at Hoover Dam were from incidents from the actual construction of the dam itself.

 

[pkondz]

I forgot to say so many things about the last update. And I can't find them all but this one is exquisite. Why? It just quietly speaks. Nice memory captured.

Thanks Purple Lisa. Elle really enjoyed looking at all the different costumes.
There was an entire area devoted to costumes.
I think she would've spent more time there if she could've.

Those deaths were due to disease in the area and not so much from building the canal itself. Still sad to see such a high number, but at that time; you could die just being in the region and not working on the canal. The 96 men that died at Hoover Dam were from incidents from the actual construction of the dam itself.

That's true. But the numbers are mind-boggling aren't they?
Can you imagine the conversation that might've occurred?
"Okay. So you want a job? No problem.
Oh, and you and all your co-workers are going to die.
Just so you know.
Sign here."

All righty. I'm off to comment on Tammie's TR then I'll be right back to get to work on the next chapter.

 

[pkondz]

twinkle twinkle little tower

August fifth. Evening.

We had a 7pm tour booked and were supposed to be there 30 minutes before the start time.
I wanted to make sure we got there in plenty of time, so we left early.
Probably around 4:30 - 5:00.

I had excellent directions from the tour website.

So you think we got lost, right?


Nah. It was easy.

Grab the subway,
transfer at Bonne Nouvelle to the #8 towards Balard,
jump off at La Motte-Picquet - Grenelle,
walk down Rue de Pondichéry for a couple hundred yards,
make a right on Pl. Dupleix,
a left on Rue Edgar Faure...
and there you are!

See? Toldja it was easy.


We did get sidetracked on the walk, though.

We turned a corner and I spotted this. (I didn't take a picture (there are limits ya know! and I forgot.) so this is from Google Maps.)



It's a fully automatic, self cleaning bathroom.

We were early and we each wanted to try it so we all decided to take a turn.


And yes. We are easily amused.


Kay was the first one to try it.

Imagine the scene (and no, thankfully, no one was around to witness this)...

Three adults standing around a public bathroom yelling back and forth with someone inside:
"I can't figure it out!"
"Are there any buttons?"
"No!"
"Are there any signs?"
"Yes, but I can't figure them out!"
"What do they look like"
"There's a sort of wavy line thing with a circle near it and a square beside it"
(or something like that. I don't remember exactly what the signs were, except that they were supposed to be internationally recognizable. So of course they were indecipherable)

Eventually, she figured it out and emerged older, wiser and mildly traumatized.

After she exited, the bathroom cleaned itself and was ready for its next victim.


This thing flushed itself and cleaned the sink, toilet and floor after you left.

Of course we had to test it out.
We left some toilet paper on the floor just to see if it would be gone afterwards.

The bathroom proceeded to go through its cycle.
The door opened.
And the toilet paper was gone!

We all let out a cheer! Yay!!


I'm not kidding.
We really did cheer for a missing piece of toilet paper.


I can't make stuff like this up.


We arrived at our tour and we were too early.
We sat around for a while and vegged.

No one had to go to the bathroom.



Eventually, an earlier tour group, finishing up their tour, came by.
I didn't know this until later, but Ruby noticed the tour guide and
(I'm not sure why... and neither is she, really)
thought to herself, "I hope we don't get her as our guide."

People started to trickle in as we waited.
Hmmmm.... looks like a lot of people.
I presume they're doing several tours tonite, not just the one we're on.

Around 6:30 or so, someone from the tour company started to call out names and form up groups with their tour guides.

"Okay! With tour guide George are the Smith's, the Jones', the Brown's, the Lee's and the White's."

They keep calling out names until everyone's been called.
We weren't called.

What the deuce?

I walk up to the roll caller and ask if he's got us on a list?
Yes he does and then I notice a few other people still around... as well as the tour guide Ruby doesn't want.

Uh, oh.

The roll caller calls out the rest of the names, including ours, and...
Yup. We get Anna.

Anna gives us an orientation and familiarization speech and we have a few minutes to get ready to go.

Here's Elle and Kay, getting ready.



Yup. We were doing a Segway tour.
I had wanted to do this in Hawaii, but the minimum age is 12 and Kay was only 11 at the time.

There was a father/daughter pair there and supposedly she was 13... but I thought she looked more like 8 or 9.
Either way, the weight minimum is 100 lbs and she looked like she was maybe 50 lbs... soaking wet.... with a 10 lb backpack.

I found out later that they (the tour operator) were thinking of giving her a backpack loaded down with water bottles, but apparently she was able to handle the Segway without it.

Can you imagine going on a 'pleasant' tour and then being told you'd have to carry 20 lbs of water while you're doing it?

Each of our Segways had names.
Ours were:
Robocop
Segwars
R2D2
and Kay got... Do You Think I'm Segsy

We set off on our tour.
Our first stop was at the end of the Champs de Mars, which is the name of the long park that the Eiffel Tower sits on.
It was originally used for Military troup drills and marches. (Mars, Roman God of war)



In the foreground is the Wall for Peace monument.
Built in 2000, it has the word 'Peace' written on it in 32 languages.
Originally supposed to be torn down after three months, it's still standing 13 years later.

Our next stop was Les Invalides.



That's Anna in the foreground.
Ya know what?

She was absolutely terrific!
I've had a few tours over the years, and she was by far, the best guide I've ever had.
She was very well informed about the things we'd see.
She would imitate various accents... poorly, which was hilarious.
She was very friendly and nice.
What can I say? She was awesome.

At one point, she was describing how Louis XIV was instrumental in making ballet popular in France.
She got all of us to strike a silly ballet pose.

She then offered to take pictures with our cameras...
oddly enough, no one took her up on her offer.


A good example of the way she would interject humour into her history lessons was how she described the last three French Kings.

Louis XIV is famously known as the Sun King.
Louis XV was well loved by the people of France.
Louis XVI was the one married to Marie Antoinette and was beheaded.

Or as Anna referred to them, "The Sun King, the Fun King and the Done King."


Les Invalides (officially L'Hôtel National des Invalides) was built by Louis XIV (the Sun King) for old or injured soldiers.
Until then, if you served your country and were injured, you'd be reduced to a life of poverty since you couldn't work anymore.

The golden dome is not paint. It's actual gold and was re-gilded in 1989 with 28 pounds (pounds... not ounces) of gold.

Originally, the domed area was to be the King's mausoleum, but Napoleon's tomb is there now.

Les Invalides is surrounded by a moat... with large breaks in it.
It struck me as odd.
If you're going to have a moat, why put large, difficult to defend breaks in it?
Maybe the breaks were put in later?

I asked Anna about it and got a surprising answer.
Apparently the moat was built as a plague control measure.
People with the plague would come to the edge of the moat and speak with friends or family on the other side and thus not infect them.

Huh.


We continued on our tour and... I decided to enjoy the tour and not take too many pictures.

We stopped at Le Pont Alexandre III. Anna told us how it was named after the Russian Tsar who was a friend of France.
The bridge also was the site of the world's first public display of electric lights.

Across the bridge, she told us how the French were very creative with their names for things and pointed out two buildings.
The smaller one was the 'Little Palace' and the larger one was, oddly enough, the 'Large Palace'.

We then zipped down to Place de la Concorde.



We stopped here for a snack. I asked Anna if she wanted anything and at first she refused, but with a little arm twisting, she thanked me and asked for a ham and cheese crepe.
I refused her money and bought it for her.

Yes. She was that good.

I got an apple crepe.

Yes. It was that good.

Remember this?



Anna told us how it was transported from Egypt in 1832-1833.
It took over a year for it to make the journey.
It sits on a pedestal that has an IKEA installation manual printed on it.

In 1993, Paris woke up to find that the obelisk had been covered by a giant pink condom to mark World AIDS day.
The Parisian government decided to let it stay "protected" (ahem) for a week.

Apparently, once a year, Egypt sends a letter to France asking for its obelisk back.
And once a year, France ignores the request.


We zoomed over to The Louvre, and Anna pointed out how the French like their straight lines.
Only problem was that this little Arc de Triomphe was perfectly in line with the larger one... but the Louvre itself was 'off' by several feet.
Since they couldn't pick up the entire Louvre and move it (and apparently, they considered doing just that) they instead placed the statue you see in the middle.





I don't remember all the sights that we saw, but the tour was a solid three hours long.
Actually, it was longer... but I'll get to that in a bit.

We eventually wound up at the Eiffel Tower. It was about 9:45pm and the tour was over at 10pm.



Anna told us that starting at 10pm and every hour after that until 1am the Tower is lit up with a light show that was originally designed to bring in the year 2000.
It was such a hit that they decided to keep it.

She said that even though the tour ended at 10pm, if we wanted, we could stay for the 5 minute show and then make our way back.

Of course we all wanted to.

And it was really nice. We all sat around on the grass and chatted with each other, then watched the show.


Afterwards, we made our way back to the tour operator's base.
I guess we got there around 10:15pm or so.
I tipped Anna 20 Euros.

Yes. She was that good.


Boy, that sounds like a good place to end the night.
But we weren't quite done yet.

During the tour, we had opportunities to chat every now and then with our fellow...

Seggers?
Segwayers?
Idiots on wheels?

We were kinda hungry so we decided to grab a snack.
A nice couple from Santa Clara, CA that Ruby had been chatting with joined us.

Ruby had some French Onion Soup... and this time, apparently it was really good.
Kay, Elle and I had escargot.



I think it was more fun trying to hold the shells with that holder, then it was good.
(Remember the scene from Pretty Woman?)

We chatted while we munched and eventually parted company.

By the time we got back to our room, it was about 1am.

If you're interested, here's a snippet of video of the lightshow at the Eiffel Tower. Just click the picture.





Now that's a good spot to end this chapter!

 

[winkers]

The Segway tour looks like a lot of fun! I'm glad you ended up with a good guide.....they make all the difference between an endless line up of "facts" or being entertained while learning a few things.


I saw a couple of those bathrooms but didn't realize they were self cleaning! Dang! I would have been pretty entertained by that.

While we were in Europe we used the bathrooms at every restaurant or "attraction" so we didn't end up trying to locate a public one. I had been warned that they are few and far between and often cost. So at the first café in Paris I was surprised to find the bathroom there cost 1 euro.

 

[pkondz]

The Segway tour looks like a lot of fun! I'm glad you ended up with a good guide.....they make all the difference between an endless line up of "facts" or being entertained while learning a few things.

The tour was a lot of fun. Both for riding the segways and because of Anna.

I think without her, the novelty of riding would've worn off after an hour or two and it would've become lousy.

I saw a couple of those bathrooms but didn't realize they were self cleaning! Dang! I would have been pretty entertained by that.

Ya missed out on a Paris highlight, Chérie!

While we were in Europe we used the bathrooms at every restaurant or "attraction" so we didn't end up trying to locate a public one. I had been warned that they are few and far between and often cost. So at the first café in Paris I was surprised to find the bathroom there cost 1 euro.

There sat Winkers broken hearted.
Paid a euro,
Darn that churro!

 

[PrincessCaitlin]

Great update!

So glad you had a good tour guide! Sounds like the tour was a lot of fun!

I am so jealous you tried escargot! I had been looking forward to trying it at Disney but it comes in bread not the shell

 

[Backstage_Gal]

Ponzi, I must say I am very disappointed you didn't give an interior view of those bathrooms!!

Even more stuff I missed in 1970 I didn't know existed! Although I don't think they had Segways back then.

I remember New Years Eve 2000. I spent the day at work waiting for the power to and standing by to fill out manual timecards if necessary. During the day, we watched all the displays on the TV in the conference room as the New Year rolled across the globe.

Another great update, thanks!

 

[MAGICFOR2]

Love the update! I'm glad the tour turned out to be so fun, and that your tour guide was a hit!

Beautiful pics of the Eiffel Tower. I didn't know about the light show - thanks for sharing it - I was thinking it would be so fun to have a table at a café nearby and catch the lights.

 

[pkondz]

Great update!

So glad you had a good tour guide! Sounds like the tour was a lot of fun!

I am so jealous you tried escargot! I had been looking forward to trying it at Disney but it comes in bread not the shell

Good? Nope, she was great!

While the escargot in Paris was good, our favorite is still The Keg Restaurant's escargot. Served in melted garlic herb butter under a mushroom cap.

Ruby and I have to have it whenever we go.
If you want some, you'll have to drive over to Dallas.

Ponzi, I must say I am very disappointed you didn't give an interior view of those bathrooms!!

'cause that's what everybody wants.
Pictures of bathrooms!

Even more stuff I missed in 1970 I didn't know existed! Although I don't think they had Segways back then.

Or self cleaning automatic washrooms...

I remember New Years Eve 2000. I spent the day at work waiting for the power to and standing by to fill out manual timecards if necessary. During the day, we watched all the displays on the TV in the conference room as the New Year rolled across the globe.

I remember it too. Everyone was convinced that every computer in the world would blow up...

... and nothing happened.

Another great update, thanks!

Thanks, Marita!

Love the update! I'm glad the tour turned out to be so fun, and that your tour guide was a hit!

It was a blast!

Beautiful pics of the Eiffel Tower. I didn't know about the light show - thanks for sharing it - I was thinking it would be so fun to have a table at a café nearby and catch the lights.

The tower at night is really nice. Much nicer then during the day.
While the café idea is nice, relaxing on the lawn was very Parisian too.

But dining under the stars with the Tower twinkling away would be pretty nice.
We'd just have to get rid of the rugrats!

 

[pkondz]

Okay! I just had time to respond to comments.
We're heading down to Minneapolis Friday morning for the weekend and I'm only bringing my ipod... if I even bring that!

So I probably won't be posting here for a couple of days.
(I can't post in bold or color or multiquote easily, so...)

Hey Nebo, wanna drive 7 hours up to meet us?
It's halfway, ya know.

Seems fair.

 

[jedijill]

The Segway tour looked great...glad Anna ended up being a great tour guide!

Jill in CO

 

[Thumper_Man]

I have a little time to waste at work today. Well I actually have a lot of time to waste at work today. Let’s see what I can do, I mean, let’s see how I can comment on this chapter.

twinkle twinkle little tower

How you sparkle with some power.
Lighting up the sky at night
With thousands of twinkling lights
Twinkle, twinkle little tower
My how you sparkle every hour.

August fifth. Evening.

You sure it wasn’t twilight or dusk? Just checking.

We had a 7pm tour booked and were supposed to be there 30 minutes before the start time.
I wanted to make sure we got there in plenty of time, so we left early.
Probably around 4:30 - 5:00.

Up and at ‘em troops. To the tour on the double. Hup, two, three four.

I had excellent directions from the tour website.

So you think we got lost, right?

Not if you had excellent directions

Nah. It was easy.

See, told ya.

Grab the subway,

Now why would you grab the subway? Isn’t it easier to just wait til it stops and then get on? Besides, if it’s going too fast and it don’t stop like you think it’s going to; then you reach out and try to grab it, well….chances are you may become a left handed or right handed person depending on which arm you tried to grab it with.

transfer at Bonne Nouvelle to the #8 towards Balard,
jump off at La Motte-Picquet - Grenelle,
We’ve been through this, it would be easier to just step…. Oh never mind. Not that it what matter what I say, you’ll just go and do the opposite. Look at that tower over there. Don’t jump off it.

walk down Rue de Pondichéry for a couple hundred yards,
make a right on Pl. Dupleix,
a left on Rue Edgar Faure...
and there you are!

See? Toldja it was easy.

I’ll take your word for it. Plus I looked at Google Maps. I had to verify your information.

We did get sidetracked on the walk, though.

More mime’s? Sketch artists?

We turned a corner and I spotted this. (I didn't take a picture (there are limits ya know! and I forgot.) so this is from Google Maps.)



It's a fully automatic, self cleaning bathroom.

Of course I had to Google this. I didn’t see any baths in this place though. Was there some other type of secret compartment with the bath we don’t know about?

We were early and we each wanted to try it so we all decided to take a turn.

"Who needs the restroom? Ponzi, I already know you. I don’t care if you don’t need to go now, go anyways. Later on you'll needing to go and we may not have time to stop on the tour."

(Stomps foot) "Gee Ruby, do I have to?"

Kay was the first one to try it.

Oh sure. Send in the youngest one. That way if she don’t come back out, at least you still have one daughter left. Way to step up to the plate there.

Imagine the scene (and no, thankfully, no one was around to witness this)...

That you noticed anyways. Wonder what the astronauts in the International Space Station were saying as they watched you? John, come and check this out on the monitor.

except that they were supposed to be internationally recognizable. So of course they were indecipherable

Naturally.

Eventually, she figured it out and emerged older, wiser and mildly traumatized.

At least she came back out. I hope you found a good therapist for her. Poor child.

After she exited, the bathroom cleaned itself and was ready for its next victim.

Time to send in the next child? “Now that we know its safe, Elle you’re next.”

This thing flushed itself and cleaned the sink, toilet and floor after you left.

I need one of these at home.

Of course we had to test it out.
We left some toilet paper on the floor just to see if it would be gone afterwards.

Toilet paper experiment commencing in 3, 2, 1.

The bathroom proceeded to go through its cycle.
The door opened.
And the toilet paper was gone!

We all let out a cheer! Yay!!

And I bet people around you laughed and pointed at you. “Must be Americans.” Little did they know you were actually Canadian’s.

I'm not kidding.
We really did cheer for a missing piece of toilet paper.

I probably would’ve cheered more had I got to see it. Can you be inside while it goes through the cleaning cycle?

I can't make stuff like this up.

Well I’m sure you could, but again; since I Googled it, I totally believe you.

No one had to go to the bathroom.

After playing in the restroom for an hour or so, I would hope not.

People started to trickle in as we waited.

Trickled? You mean they didn’t sashay in like you did? Next time, you need to teach them.

Around 6:30 or so, someone from the tour company started to call out names and form up groups with their tour guides.

"Okay! With tour guide George are the Smith's, the Jones', the Brown's, the Lee's and the White's."

They keep calling out names until everyone's been called.
We weren't called.

Are you sure you were in the right place? Maybe you were supposed to turn left at Albuquerque instead of right.

I walk up to the roll caller and ask if he's got us on a list?

What happened to sashaying?

Yes he does and then I notice a few other people still around... as well as the tour guide Ruby doesn't want.

Uh, oh.

The roll caller calls out the rest of the names, including ours, and...
Yup. We get Anna.

Ruby jinxed it for y’all.

Here's Elle and Kay, getting ready.

Is it me, or does anyone else think they don’t look too enthusiastic to be taking this tour?

Yup. We were doing a Segway tour.

Nice! Always want to learn how to ride one of those.

I had wanted to do this in Hawaii, but the minimum age is 12 and Kay was only 11 at the time.

Bet you could’ve gotten away with saying she was 12.

Can you imagine going on a 'pleasant' tour and then being told you'd have to carry 20 lbs of water while you're doing it?

Look at the bright side. At least they have water in case they get lost and stranded on a deserted island. Ok. I know there’s no islands around, but at least they can stay hydrated.

We set off on our tour.
Our first stop was at the end of the Champs de Mars, which is the name of the long park that the Eiffel Tower sits on.

Sits? Or stands? I don’t think the Eiffel Tower ever gets a break to sit down and chillax for a bit.

It was originally used for Military troup drills and marches. (Mars, Roman God of war)

What’s a Roman god doing in a French city? Wasn’t welcome in Rome anymore?

In the foreground is the Wall for Peace monument.
Built in 2000, it has the word 'Peace' written on it in 32 languages.
Originally supposed to be torn down after three months, it's still standing 13 years later.

That’s pretty cool.

Ya know what?

I do know what. He plays 2nd base. Great baseball player.

She was absolutely terrific!
I've had a few tours over the years, and she was by far, the best guide I've ever had.

Better than the guide in Hawaii that you said was the best?

She was very well informed about the things we'd see.

You’re paying her money. I would hope she would be.

She would imitate various accents... poorly, which was hilarious.
She was very friendly and nice.
What can I say? She was awesome.

That’s one thing I guess you could say.

A good example of the way she would interject humour into her history lessons was how she described the last three French Kings.

Louis XIV is famously known as the Sun King.
Louis XV was well loved by the people of France.
Louis XVI was the one married to Marie Antoinette and was beheaded.

Or as Anna referred to them, "The Sun King, the Fun King and the Done King."

Les Invalides (officially L'Hôtel National des Invalides) was built by Louis XIV (the Sun King) for old or injured soldiers.
Until then, if you served your country and were injured, you'd be reduced to a life of poverty since you couldn't work anymore.

So basically, if the war didn’t kill you, the lack of food would.

Originally, the domed area was to be the King's mausoleum, but Napoleon's tomb is there now.

Why does a short man need such a big dome?

Les Invalides is surrounded by a moat... with large breaks in it.
It struck me as odd.
If you're going to have a moat, why put large, difficult to defend breaks in it?
Maybe the breaks were put in later?

Maybe someone was supposed to fill it with water and alligators. I bet he when he set out to capture the alligators, he never made it back.

I asked Anna about it and got a surprising answer.
Apparently the moat was built as a plague control measure.
People with the plague would come to the edge of the moat and speak with friends or family on the other side and thus not infect them.

I liked my explanation better.

We continued on our tour and... I decided to enjoy the tour and not take too many pictures.

Being a little selfish aren’t we? You show us all these great pictures then you decide to actually enjoy the tour. We’ll allow it this one time only.

The bridge also was the site of the world's first public display of electric lights.

I wonder if Nebo remembers when lights were first invented?

We stopped here for a snack. I asked Anna if she wanted anything and at first she refused, but with a little arm twisting, she thanked me and asked for a ham and cheese crepe.

Remind me not to refuse letting you buy me a snack if we ever meet. I personally need my arms and don’t want them twisted off.

I refused her money and bought it for her.

Yes. She was that good.

And Ruby was ok with this?

I got an apple crepe.

Fine. You got an apple. No need for name calling.

Remember this?

Was I supposed to?

In 1993, Paris woke up to find that the obelisk had been covered by a giant pink condom to mark World AIDS day.
The Parisian government decided to let it stay "protected" (ahem) for a week.

Cricket

I don't remember all the sights that we saw,

You would’ve if you had been taking pictures.

but the tour was a solid three hours long.

Good thing this tour was on land. You know what happened to the millionaire and his wife, the movie star, the professor and farm gal when they took a 3-hour tour in the ocean?

We eventually wound up at the Eiffel Tower. It was about 9:45pm and the tour was over at 10pm.

Let me get this right. Tour started at 7 and you wound up at the Eiffel Tower at 9:45. This was to be a 3-hour tour. By my calculations, you got cheated out of 15 minutes.

Nice pic!

Anna told us that starting at 10pm and every hour after that until 1am the Tower is lit up with a light show that was originally designed to bring in the year 2000.
It was such a hit that they decided to keep it.

She said that even though the tour ended at 10pm, if we wanted, we could stay for the 5 minute show and then make our way back.

Well at least you got your 15 minutes back and then some.

Afterwards, we made our way back to the tour operator's base.
I guess we got there around 10:15pm or so.
I tipped Anna 20 Euros.

Was she that good? I thought you mentioned it already but wasn’t sure.

Yes. She was that good.

Never mind. I guess she was.

Boy, that sounds like a good place to end the night.

Actually, back at the hotel in bed sounds like a good place to end the night. But to each their own I guess.

I think it was more fun trying to hold the shells with that holder, then it was good.
(Remember the scene from Pretty Woman?)

You meant this one? Pretty Woman.

By the time we got back to our room, it was about 1am.

You party animals.

Now that's a good spot to end this chapter!

Thanks for another wonderful chapter.

 

[lisaviolet]

We eventually wound up at the Eiffel Tower. It was about 9:45pm and the tour was over at 10pm.






We were kinda hungry so we decided to grab a snack.
A nice couple from Santa Clara, CA that Ruby had been chatting with joined us.

Ruby had some French Onion Soup... and this time, apparently it was really good.
Kay, Elle and I had escargot.

I will return with more to say on this latest update but just wanted to say HOW LOVELY - gorgeous shot - on the first. And JEALOUS on the second. Wait, you can add JEALOUS on both.

 

[queenbetsey]

Great report Ponzi! Thanks for all the great pics

 

[orangecats2]

And why were you in Minneapolis, young man?

 

[pkondz]

Aaaaaaannnnnnd.... We're back.

Looks like I have some shout outs to take care of here.

And in case you're wondering....
No, we did not, repeat NOT have a Nebo and/or Smidgy sighting in Minneapolis.

What's a guy gotta do? I drove halfway to their place and...

pffft.
nothing.
nada.


I feel so alone.....

The Segway tour looked great...glad Anna ended up being a great tour guide!

She really was wonderful, Jill. We've been very lucky lately with our tourguides.

Which means the next one will be like this:
"So, like, ya know, like, there's, like... stuff? over there? Like, ya know? OMG? Fer real? <smacks gum noisily>"

I have a little time to waste at work today. Well I actually have a lot of time to waste at work today. Let’s see what I can do, I mean, let’s see how I can comment on this chapter.

I infer from that, that you feel this TR is a waste of time?

Oh, I'm not arguing with you, just clarifying what we all already know.

How you sparkle with some power.
Lighting up the sky at night
With thousands of twinkling lights
Twinkle, twinkle little tower
My how you sparkle every hour.

Nicely done.

You sure it wasn’t twilight or dusk? Just checking.

Positive.

It was gloaming.

Up and at ‘em troops. To the tour on the double. Hup, two, three four.

You obviously don't know what Kay is like.
If you don't crack that whip once in a while....
Well, let's just say, we'd probably still be in Winnipeg trying to get to the airport for our Europe trip.

Now why would you grab the subway? Isn’t it easier to just wait til it stops and then get on? Besides, if it’s going too fast and it don’t stop like you think it’s going to; then you reach out and try to grab it, well….chances are you may become a left handed or right handed person depending on which arm you tried to grab it with.

The subway doesn't stop. There are elasticized hand holds extending out from the cars so that you don't get injured when you grab them as they go by.
Just grab, swing your self in and off you go.


Trust me. It gets tough with bags or small children.

Of course I had to Google this. I didn’t see any baths in this place though. Was there some other type of secret compartment with the bath we don’t know about?

It's inside, recessed into the floor. You have to push the button with the wavy lines and crossed out toaster to get it.

"Who needs the restroom? Ponzi, I already know you. I don’t care if you don’t need to go now, go anyways. Later on you'll needing to go and we may not have time to stop on the tour."

(Stomps foot) "Gee Ruby, do I have to?"

If you were there, why didn't you say hello?

Oh sure. Send in the youngest one. That way if she don’t come back out, at least you still have one daughter left. Way to step up to the plate there.

As a parent, you'll always do this.
That's why you have kids.... to act as human shields and guinea pigs.

That you noticed anyways. Wonder what the astronauts in the International Space Station were saying as they watched you? John, come and check this out on the monitor.

It doesn't matter what they think.
Didn't you see Gravity yet?

At least she came back out. I hope you found a good therapist for her. Poor child.

Nah. She's young.
So, you know.
Expendable.

And I bet people around you laughed and pointed at you. “Must be Americans.” Little did they know you were actually Canadian’s.

D'oh! You've found out the secret to our reputation of being polite.


Random European #1: "Sacre bleu! You foul tourist? Why would you do such a disgusting and innapropriate thing?"
Me: "'Cause I'm American!"
Random European #2: "Sacre bleu! You wonderful tourist? Why would you do such a wonderful and unexpected thing?"
Me: "'Cause I'm Canadian!"

See? Just tailor the answer to the situation and it always works out just right.

I probably would’ve cheered more had I got to see it. Can you be inside while it goes through the cleaning cycle?

I honestly don't think you can. I don't remember for sure, but it seems to me that there was a sensor or something that told it that it was empty.

Trickled? You mean they didn’t sashay in like you did? Next time, you need to teach them.

No one sashays like I do.

No one.

Is it me, or does anyone else think they don’t look too enthusiastic to be taking this tour?

Oh, they were.
They're just busy thinking: "Don't wipe out! Don't wipe out!"

At that age, not because it'll hurt, but because they'll look stupid.


At my age I'll still look stupid (and I don't have to do anything to accomplish that)... but I'll be hurt, too.

Nice! Always want to learn how to ride one of those.

How fun are they?
So much that I seriously considered buying one.

They are expensive (about $6000 for a new one), but you can get a used one for about $2000.

But they're illegal in our City. Most cities, actually.

Bet you could’ve gotten away with saying she was 12.

I was worried about three things.
1. What if they demanded proof of age? These tours are expensive and generally non-refundable with less then 24-48 hours notice.
2. What if she wrecked one and then they found out she was under age?
3. What if she got hurt and our insurance wouldn't cover expenses since she was doing an activity that she wasn't supposed to be able to do?

Look at the bright side. At least they have water in case they get lost and stranded on a deserted island. Ok. I know there’s no islands around, but at least they can stay hydrated.

True... but if they drank the water, then she'd be too light and drive off a cliff or something.

At the autopsy... "Victim's COD is multiple blunt trauma to the head and torso.... but boy is she well hydrated!"

Sits? Or stands? I don’t think the Eiffel Tower ever gets a break to sit down and chillax for a bit.

It does after 1am, when the lights go off. Then it lies down in the Champs de Mars.
That's what it's for.

What’s a Roman god doing in a French city? Wasn’t welcome in Rome anymore?

Are you kidding? Romans were everywhere. You couldn't turn around without bumping into an Appolo or Jupiter.

I do know what. He plays 2nd base. Great baseball player.

Who?

Better than the guide in Hawaii that you said was the best?

I'll be honest here (first time for everything).
I had to sit back and think about that.
I even asked Ruby.
She was stumped too.
Her response was, "We've had a lot of luck with guides lately."

Which was better?
Flip a coin.
They both were very, very good.

Anna had the fun, our Hawaiian guide got us fresh fruit.

Why does a short man need such a big dome?

Dome envy.

Being a little selfish aren’t we? You show us all these great pictures then you decide to actually enjoy the tour. We’ll allow it this one time only.

That and when you'd take a picture, you'd swerve into traffic and die.

I wonder if Nebo remembers when lights were first invented?

Well, Nebo?
Do you?

Remind me not to refuse letting you buy me a snack if we ever meet. I personally need my arms and don’t want them twisted off.

Afraid to type on the DIS with your toes?
Think of it as a new experience.

And Ruby was ok with this?

Yup.

And that's all I'm saying about that.

Fine. You got an apple. No need for name calling.

Oh, crepe! That's funny!

Good thing this tour was on land. You know what happened to the millionaire and his wife, the movie star, the professor and farm gal when they took a 3-hour tour in the ocean?

Nope.
What?

Let me get this right. Tour started at 7 and you wound up at the Eiffel Tower at 9:45. This was to be a 3-hour tour. By my calculations, you got cheated out of 15 minutes.

It was still a 15 minute Segway back to the starting point, so if we left right away, it would've been three hours.

Nice pic!

Thanks!

Well at least you got your 15 minutes back and then some.

Was she that good? I thought you mentioned it already but wasn’t sure.

I guess so, I don't remember.

You meant this one? Pretty Woman.

<sigh> At work again. I'll have to check that out later.... but probably.

Thanks for another wonderful chapter.

Glad you liked it. Thanks for all the comments!

I will return with more to say on this latest update but just wanted to say HOW LOVELY - gorgeous shot - on the first. And JEALOUS on the second. Wait, you can add JEALOUS on both.

Check. Jealousy added to the list.

Great report Ponzi! Thanks for all the great pics

My pleasure, Bets. Glad you're enjoying the TR.

And why were you in Minneapolis, young man?

To see Nebo and Smidgy, but they stood me up!
Can you believe that?
I drive 10 hours out of my way, just to see them and... nope.

Actually, it was just a little weekend getaway.
No cooking, cleaning or grocery shopping.

 

[Thumper_Man]

Aaaaaaannnnnnd.... We're back.

Went somewhere did ya?

Looks like I have some shout outs to take care of here.

HOLLAR!

And in case you're wondering....
No, we did not, repeat NOT have a Nebo and/or Smidgy sighting in Minneapolis.

What's a guy gotta do? I drove halfway to their place and...

pffft.
nothing.
nada.

That was inconsiderate of them not to drive half way the other way to meet up with you. They could've at least taken a bus if they didn't want to drive. I guess next time you'll just have to show up on their door step.

I feel so alone.....

What are we? Chopped liver?

I infer from that, that you feel this TR is a waste of time?

This TR is a good way to waste some time. It's not a waste of time. Very educational when I'm not napping.

Oh, I'm not arguing with you, just clarifying what we all already know.

Oh. You're saying we're a waste of your time. Got it now.

You obviously don't know what Kay is like.

Being I don't live with or have ever met the child, I can honestly say I don't. I just have to take your word for it.

If you don't crack that whip once in a while....

Well, let's just say, we'd probably still be in Winnipeg trying to get to the airport for our Europe trip.

She was probably hoping that if she took long enough, you would leave without her so she could stay home alone.

If you were there, why didn't you say hello?

I wasn't sure if that was you or not. Your back was turned towards me.

It doesn't matter what they think.
Didn't you see Gravity yet?

Nope. Haven't seen it yet. The weekend it was released, we were in Disneyland. Haven't found time to go see it. This coming weekend is out as well. Guess I'll have to wait for the dvd.

I honestly don't think you can. I don't remember for sure, but it seems to me that there was a sensor or something that told it that it was empty.

Well go back and check. We'll wait here while you do.

No one sashays like I do.

No one.

I've never met no one. Is he your twin brother or something?

Oh, they were.
They're just busy thinking: "Don't wipe out! Don't wipe out!"

Are you psycho? Or did they tell you what they were thinking?

At my age I'll still look stupid (and I don't have to do anything to accomplish that)... but I'll be hurt, too.

That's when you pop right back up and pretend like nothing happened, even though there's a big gash in your head. Trying to play it cool hoping no one saw you, all the while thinking "That hurt like HECK!"

Look on the bright side, looking back it would've given us something to laugh at. You know this crowd are blood thirsty....

I was worried about three things.
1. What if they demanded proof of age? These tours are expensive and generally non-refundable with less then 24-48 hours notice.

You're the parent. They would have to take your word for it.

2. What if she wrecked one and then they found out she was under age?

See the answer to question #1. The worst that could happen though is you would've been out $6k.

3. What if she got hurt and our insurance wouldn't cover expenses since she was doing an activity that she wasn't supposed to be able to do?

Sorry. Can't help you here. Give me to time to come up with an answer.

Nope. Still got nothing.

Who?

Who's on first.

I'll be honest here (first time for everything).

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have breaking news. Pkondz is about to be honest for once in his life. Stay tuned as we learn more details of this truth that is forthcoming .

I had to sit back and think about that.
I even asked Ruby.
She was stumped too.
Her response was, "We've had a lot of luck with guides lately."

Which was better?
Flip a coin.
They both were very, very good.

Anna had the fun, our Hawaiian guide got us fresh fruit.

You said you were going to be honest. Since Anna was the latest tour guide, does that make her the best ever? This all leads back to your original statement that she was the best ever. That would probably mean she replaces Hawaiian gal.

That and when you'd take a picture, you'd swerve into traffic and die.

Swerving into traffic wouldn't kill you. It's the impact from the car hitting that would probably do it. Or the heart attack you had once you saw the car was about to make you a permanent resident of Paris by making you part of the pavement. Chances are you could have survived the impact or heart attack though; or better yet, swerves out of traffic and not got hit at all.

Well, Nebo?
Do you?

Yeah Nebo. Do you? What was the question again? I was napping.

Afraid to type on the DIS with your toes?
Think of it as a new experience.

Nah. There's software for that now a days. All you need to do is speak....

Now there's an idea. Maybe we can all pitch in, buy the software and send it to Nebo. This way he can install it on his confuser and maybe, JUST MAYBE, we'll hear from him a little more.

Oh, crepe! That's funny!

Still calling me a creep? That's it, I'm leaving this TR.


























AFTER it's done.

Nope.
What?

Well to make a long story short, They got on this boat called the SS Minnow. The tour was supposed to be 3-hours but the weather got rough. The tiny ship was tossed and the courage of the fearless crew got them through the storm, or else the minnow would've been lost at sea. Now the crew and the guests were stranded on a deserted tropic island. No phone, no lights, no motor cars or a single luxury were around. Like Robinson Crusoe they're as primitive as can be. I think eventually they get rescued but wound up stranded on the island again.

Glad you liked it. Thanks for all the comments!

Comments? I meant them as sarcasms. I guess I wasn't sarcastic enough. Man I'm going to have to up my game next chapter.

Oh did I just type that thought on here?
I meant to say, "Anytime. I'm glad you liked them."

To see Nebo and Smidgy, but they stood me up!
Can you believe that?

Nope. I can't. They never stood Lady H and I up.

Did you call him and give him a piece of Ruby's mind?

 

[smidgy]

well, how could we have stood you up when we never agrred to the trip? huh? huh? I don't remember signing a contract.

my baby brother was at the foot of the eiffel tower new year's eve 2000!. that year they showed new years eve every hour at dif. cities around the world. I think it was 4 pm chicago time. I was at the Riverview pub (I worked at the restaurant in the back, but not that day) having a beer and toasting happy new years to my brother on the tv screen (well, I knew he was there somewhere!)

 

[buzz1121]

Okay, so I am minutes away from reading the last chapter, but Pkondz, I could swear that your birthday is either today or a few days ago.

Maybe I'm wrong, but if I remember it correctly Happy Birthday!!!

And now, to read of the toilet trauma of the Pkondz family.....

Oh yeah, fall soccer season ended for DS on Saturday so now I have a little more free time on my hands!

 

[buzz1121]

Really great chapter Pkondz!

I love the interesting fact tidbits throughout it. The Sun King, the Fun King, and the Done King.....what a perfect way to keep them straight!

I thought the trivia on the obelisk was neat as well, Egypt wanting it back and the French, oh so artfully snubbing the request. Hee!

I'm so glad Anna was a great tour guide. The great ones really do make the tour special and well worth the investment. When you can be educated and entertained simultaneously, it's a huge win!

And yes, I laughed out loud with the restroom experience.

Thanks for the great chapter!!