Bummed...

[mjpisani21]

Really? You're jealous that your BF's family pays more attention to married son and their grandchildren instead of you? Their son's long term (I assume) shacked up girlfriend? I think it's natural your BF's parents to have a closer relationship with the married son's family. As a former long term shacked up girlfriend I have to tell you that my in-laws (who are wonderful, BTW) treated me one way before we were married, then differently once we were married and differently again when we had a child. My relationship with them changed as my relationship with my husband changed.

I hate to say, but that is a huge red flag. Stick around here enough and you will read about wives with husbands and children where the husband does not support his wife and kowtows to his mom so he can avoid conflict with his family. It never turns out well. FTR, it doesn't sound like you're "in the middle", it sounds like you are the caboose. It seems that your BF has shown you who he is in the last 7 years and you are doomed to throwing out your plans to make everyone else happy .

IF your BF can stand up to his family and lend you his support, here is what I would suggest. (1) Stay at your current resort. They can stay at a moderate. It will be better having the physical distance between you. (2) Go ahead and tell them your plans as you go: "We're going to the MK tomorrow. Give us a call when you get there." but don't change your plans for them. If they want to join you, fine. If not, that's fine too. If you want to be there at rope drop but they want to sleep in, it's all good. (3) Make a couple of ADRs for all of you. You won't escape being with them, but you might as well be in control of when and where you eat with them. (4) Keep a couple of your "BF/GF only" ADRs. Don't let them know about them in advance so they can't crash your party.

Good luck.

Robin- I appreciate your comments. I understand that there is a difference between married relationships and dating relationships. I do however think that being married into a family or not shouldn't affect the ability for people to show kindness and respect equally amongst everyone. Also I think my original venting came from a place of frustration and annoyance that the brother and his family and parents were again going to impact out plans and were expecting the world to bend to their needs. I am all for compromise and coming together but i do think it needs to be a two way street. I spoke to my BF and he is on the same page with me. We wont be changing our resort and we won't be doing everything together. For the record, DBF is very supportive and no we aren't shacked up. Anyways I'm done venting and I am going to wait and see. Who knows what could happen.