Fortune teller predictions (I am trying to keep all the predictions in this post, silly I know but I am bored
):
“In 2018, Shelly will make millions, and her book "how I created the perfect tan and how you tan too" reaches #3 on the all time bestseller's list!”
“In 2017, after the hot Miami sun becomes too much, Porsche will move to Anchorage, Alaska & buy an igloo with Eskimo named Ernie!”
"In 2014, Jeff will disappear never to be seen again. He will be last seen wandering the Chicago streets muttering 2 words; Clown Shoes!"
"On Oct 15th, 2011 at 3:42pm Dani will reconcile with her father Dick. On Oct 15th, 2011 at 3:49pm they will go back to not speaking”
“In 2014, after sleeping for 19 straight days and making national headlines in a sleep study, Kalia will earn her dream job as a mattress and pillow tester.”
"In 2016, Lawon will take New York Fashion week by storm when he launches his hansomfied line of hats, ties & jackets"
"After taking 9 yrs to earn his PHD, Brendon will shock scholars and physicians alike after discovering the cure for an aliment that plagued him his entire life, athlete foot. "
"In 2020, A will file for bankruptcy after investing his life savings into a line of bacon-scented heavy metal teddy bears for children."
"In 2018, Rachel will give birth to a 9lb 6oz bouncing baby boy, naming it Bookie Junior after it's proud father."
"In 2012, Casi will land a role alongside international megastar David Hasselhoff in the countrified Baywatch reboot, River Watch."
"In 2015, ED will start Christmas tradition by bringing gifts to heavily tattooed orphans changing his name from ED to Saint Dick"
"In 2013, Dominic will grace the cover of 17 magazine with the headline "total DOM-ination" He will dethrone pop sensation Justin Beiber as America's favorite heart throb."
"In 2015, Keith will land a job hosting a new dating show called "Love Rejection" but it will be short-lived after it's revealed he tried to date all 29 female contestants!"
"In 2011, after the runaway success of the humilitard, Jordan will launch a line of humilitard items, including a humilicar, the humilifire, and the humilibake oven!"