MissMichigan
A most peculiar mademoiselle
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2012
Just looking for general advice, "this is what I did" type of stuff.
I'm not a very social person. I really, truly want to be but it's very hard for me. I can text or write for days, but when it comes to actually talking to someone, I just can't do it. It's almost a panic type thing. I'm so worried i'll say something stupid or that people won't like me once I really open up and show them who I really am. Until recently, I've just accepted it as part of who I am and dealt with it. I'd accepted that I would always be the quiet girl in the corner watching everyone talk and have fun, not participating.
But then last week, my DB told me it needs to stop. Apparently, people are always asking him what's wrong with me, why don't I talk, why don't I like them, etc. It embarrasses him, and he's getting fed up. He's told me if I can't learn to talk to people and be more social, he's going to have to end things. I am very much in love with him, and having this conversation was a wake up call for me. I know this part of me needs to change, and now I have extreme motivation to make it. (And before anyone starts bashing him or saying I should just leave him if he can't accept me, etc, I WANT this to change, I HATE this about myself. This isn't just being shy or quiet, it's major. He knows I'll be happier if I can work through this, and he wants that happiness for both of us. He said he hated to tell me it was that big of a problem, because he loves me so much, and think i'm "the most awesome person he's ever known, and just wants everyone else to know that too")
SO...what do I do? How can I overcome 20+ years of being painfully shy and cripplingly anti-social? How do I get over the fear of interacting with people? How do I stop caring what other people think of me enough to be myself no matter what? I've been trying to take baby steps the last few days, things like talking to a cashier, being more involved when we went to his friends house (who said he noticed me being more social and was impressed), and making a plan to hang out with two of our friends on my own. I know this won't happen overnight, but I'm just hoping someone on here can tell me they've been there, and were able to get over it. Any advice, help, pointers, or direction to a good blog/article/book, would be greatly appreciated. TIA.
I'm not a very social person. I really, truly want to be but it's very hard for me. I can text or write for days, but when it comes to actually talking to someone, I just can't do it. It's almost a panic type thing. I'm so worried i'll say something stupid or that people won't like me once I really open up and show them who I really am. Until recently, I've just accepted it as part of who I am and dealt with it. I'd accepted that I would always be the quiet girl in the corner watching everyone talk and have fun, not participating.
But then last week, my DB told me it needs to stop. Apparently, people are always asking him what's wrong with me, why don't I talk, why don't I like them, etc. It embarrasses him, and he's getting fed up. He's told me if I can't learn to talk to people and be more social, he's going to have to end things. I am very much in love with him, and having this conversation was a wake up call for me. I know this part of me needs to change, and now I have extreme motivation to make it. (And before anyone starts bashing him or saying I should just leave him if he can't accept me, etc, I WANT this to change, I HATE this about myself. This isn't just being shy or quiet, it's major. He knows I'll be happier if I can work through this, and he wants that happiness for both of us. He said he hated to tell me it was that big of a problem, because he loves me so much, and think i'm "the most awesome person he's ever known, and just wants everyone else to know that too")
SO...what do I do? How can I overcome 20+ years of being painfully shy and cripplingly anti-social? How do I get over the fear of interacting with people? How do I stop caring what other people think of me enough to be myself no matter what? I've been trying to take baby steps the last few days, things like talking to a cashier, being more involved when we went to his friends house (who said he noticed me being more social and was impressed), and making a plan to hang out with two of our friends on my own. I know this won't happen overnight, but I'm just hoping someone on here can tell me they've been there, and were able to get over it. Any advice, help, pointers, or direction to a good blog/article/book, would be greatly appreciated. TIA.