Bath time advise - DS & DD, when to separate their bath?

[princesspiglet]

Oh come on- at 10 my daughter was in Jr High in 6th grade!! Can you even imagine being in Jr high and not bathing by yourself?? I just don't get it!!

Your daughter was 10 in 6th grade?? What age did she start first grade- 4???

My daughter is gifted and actually skipped a grade and at 13 she is the youngest kid in her 8th grade class- and I'm talking younger by a year. When she was 10 she was in 5th grade and everyone else was 11 turning 12!

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Your daughter was 10 in 6th grade?? What age did she start first grade- 4???

My daughter is gifted and actually skipped a grade and at 13 she is the youngest kid in her 8th grade class- and I'm talking younger by a year. When she was 10 she was in 5th grade and everyone else was 11 turning 12!

Yeah... Mine just turned 9 and they're in 3rd...

 

[aprilgail]

Your daughter was 10 in 6th grade?? What age did she start first grade- 4???

My daughter is gifted and actually skipped a grade and at 13 she is the youngest kid in her 8th grade class- and I'm talking younger by a year. When she was 10 she was in 5th grade and everyone else was 11 turning 12!

kindergarten-4
1st-5
2nd-6
3rd-7
4th-8
5th-9
6th-10
Cut off is Dec here so for the first 1/3 of the school year kids born late are 4- kids born after Dec start late and turn 6 in kindergarten---so it is perfectly normal here for 10 and 6th grade. Just like for college they will be 17 when they go to college.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

kindergarten-4
1st-5
2nd-6
3rd-7
4th-8
5th-9
6th-10
Cut off is Dec here so for the first 1/3 of the school year kids born late are 4- kids born after Dec start late and turn 6 in kindergarten---so it is perfectly normal here for 10 and 6th grade. Just like for college they will be 17 when they go to college.

Thank you for explaining that. I could not get it to work in head today.

 

[aprilgail]

Thank you for explaining that. I could not get it to work in head today.

And that is just a regular kid- not skipping any grades or anything- just the way it works with the cut off. Holding kids back is not something that many people do around here either so most kids go to school on time.
Next year when my daughter starts 12th grade she will be 16 for the first 1/3 of the school year.

 

[indimom]

Our daughter is graduating this year and she was 18 before the year even started. We didn't hold her back. She has an early July B-day and just missed the July 1 cutoff for K. We debated sending her "early" when she was 5, but didn't feel like jumping through the hoops necessary. So, we waited, and she didn't start K until she was 6. There are only a couple kids older than her in her class, and at least one was held back before K. It's always amazing to me when I hear of kids who are seniors at 16.

 

[aprilgail]

Our daughter is graduating this year and she was 18 before the year even started. We didn't hold her back. She has an early July B-day and just missed the July 1 cutoff for K. We debated sending her "early" when she was 5, but didn't feel like jumping through the hoops necessary. So, we waited, and she didn't start K until she was 6. There are only a couple kids older than her in her class, and at least one was held back before K. It's always amazing to me when I hear of kids who are seniors at 16.

There really should be a cut off that is for every school in the US- it is insane that there are kids starting kindergarten at 4 and others not until 6 years old. I can't imagine being almost 19 years old and still in high school because that is not normal for here. There should not be a 2 year age gap in kids starting college right after high school. Yours will be 19 years old as a college freshman and many kids from here will be 17 as college freshman.

 

[Irish9697]

So many people overreacting here. Do what's right for your family. You'll know it's time when its time. Don't let others dictate that for you.

My son is 12 months and 18 days older than my daughter...I remember having the same worries based on others' reactions. But, I also remember a lot of advice that I would know when it is time. I can clearly agree with that because they stopped taking baths together at some point, but I can't even really remember when that was...though, seems like it was 6 & 7ish or so...like 1st and 2nd grade maybe? Honestly, I don't remember, but it happened and it all was fine. So, don't stress about it. You're not doing anything wrong!!

Mine are 16 and 15 years old now. And, they're completely well adjusted.

When we travel (it's just the 3 of us), generally, my daughter and I share a bed if sharing is necessary, but it's not unheard of that the 2 of them might share. We rotate sometimes...after all, I do pay for the vacation so I deserve my own bed for a night or two! Mine may be teenagers, but I generally still get kicked sharing with either of them...and, yes, when we rotate, my son and I will share too. Nothing wrong with it! We are family!!! When they share, they generally line the bed down the middle with an extra blankets or pillows. I grew up sharing a bed with my older brother (by 4 years) when we traveled. It's normal! It's called being a family!

OP, seriously, don't worry about it and let other people's opinions bother you...you and your family will know when it's time to transition. It may be soon...it may be a few years. That's ok!

 

[Aliceacc]

Five year olds start kindergarten. For many kids, it's the first time they spend any extended length of time out of sight of mom and dad.

In my opinion, it's absolutely time to teach them about the "privacy areas" of their bodies-- basically any part covered by a bathing suit. It's time to stop bathing together, time to start cultivating that idea that some parts of your body are yours alone, not to be viewed by others.

I'm not suggesting paranoia, but simply that you'll want this point firmly made before your child spends a day in the care others.

So have them throw on bathing suits and spend the day in the tub together.

 

[Bianca and Bernard]

We never bathed the kids together. DD#1 is 4 years older than DD#2, and there is 10 years between DS and DD#2. The girls did help bathe DS sometimes, though.

The girls would need help with their hair washing until they were 11 or so. I'd have them bend over the tub (clothed or wrapped in towels), use the hand shower to wash their hair, then they would either shower or bathe themselves (5+). Back then, it was just one bath, small apartment, so no matter what I was doing, I was close by.

DS would go into the bath and wash himself at 4; he'd use the tub in my bathroom (my room was set up so that there was the bedroom, the bath, then the closets, so I'd use the bathing time to put away clothes or straighten things up in the bedroom). Once he was 5ish, I would just stay in my bedroom, reading or on the computer, so I was close at hand.

 

[elaine amj]

My children (boy and girl just 16 months apart in age) should need therapy according to the Dis. They co-bathed together whenever they wanted (or separately if they wished) until they were an advanced age. I don't remember - but around 9/10 or so. I was concerned at the time and started paying attention to their body signals starting about 5/6 to see I needed to stop it since that is conventional timing. but they didn't care and still loved playing in the tub together. I decided it was silly to deny them the innocent sibling fun they had just to cater to what other people felt was "right". Neither paid any attention to the other's bodies and there were certainly no sexual connotations or uncomfortableness....I did watch out for that.

When my DD (who's the older one) finally wanted to start being more private about her body around 10-12yrs, we always made sure she had as much privacy as she desired.

They had SO much fun playing in the tub together - it always did my my heart good to watch my children giggling together and I have no issues having an environment where innocent fun can be had - although I knew enough (and so did my kids without my having to spell it out) not to discuss it with others (other than over the anonymous internet lol) since it is rather taboo in our society.

I should add that we are the family where my teen children STILL share a bed when we travel. When they were younger, my son was fine sleeping on the floor. But both delicate teenage bodies vastly prefer the comfort of a real bed. Since I am too cheap to pay for an extra room or larger suites, they share. They both know that if they prefer not to share, there's always the floor/sofabed/rollawaycot/air mattress.

 

[Irish9697]

My children (boy and girl just 16 months apart in age) should need therapy according to the Dis. They co-bathed together whenever they wanted (or separately if they wished) until they were an advanced age. I don't remember - but around 9/10 or so. I was concerned at the time and started paying attention to their body signals starting about 5/6 to see I needed to stop it since that is conventional timing. but they didn't care and still loved playing in the tub together. I decided it was silly to deny them the innocent sibling fun they had just to cater to what other people felt was "right". Neither paid any attention to the other's bodies and there were certainly no sexual connotations or uncomfortableness....I did watch out for that.

When my DD (who's the older one) finally wanted to start being more private about her body around 10-12yrs, we always made sure she had as much privacy as she desired.

They had SO much fun playing in the tub together - it always did my my heart good to watch my children giggling together and I have no issues having an environment where innocent fun can be had - although I knew enough (and so did my kids without my having to spell it out) not to discuss it with others (other than over the anonymous internet lol) since it is rather taboo in our society.

I should add that we are the family where my teen children STILL share a bed when we travel. When they were younger, my son was fine sleeping on the floor. But both delicate teenage bodies vastly prefer the comfort of a real bed. Since I am too cheap to pay for an extra room or larger suites, they share. They both know that if they prefer not to share, there's always the floor/sofabed/rollawaycot/air mattress.

Exactly! Great post!