What do you think should be the limit for bad behavior before the staff stops it? We saw some potentially harmful behavior by children, with the parents looking on, and a crew member keeping an eye on them, but nothing was said. This was also the case with children running around, bumping into people,and nothing was said to them. We were actually afraid to say anything to the parents, who obviously didn't care. What do you think we should have done?
Man, is that a tough question! With all kinds of possible answers.
I would say that it is very hard for a crew member to say or do anything, especially if the parents are there. If a CM suggests better behavior, even in the nicest way, eventually a parent will complain. A couple of complaints about a CM will result in that CM being fired. Frankly, from a personal preservation point of view, it is in the average CM's interest to allow a child to hurt themselves rather than discipline. A high ranking crew member can get away with it, but not anyone else. I realize that this is a tough thing to say, and I realize that in an ideal world, parents would be accepting of another person stepping in to remind children of the ship's rules, but many parents do not accept that.
As far as my wife and I, we have a variety of responses:
1. Do nothing. Not my children, not my ship, not my responsibility. This is a particularly difficult response for me to take. I like for people to follow the rules. It is hard for me to remember that I am not a police officer.
a. Corollary: if my children might get hurt, I will remove myself and my children from the area if I am choosing option number 1.
2. Mention something to the parents in a nice way. "Kids are so rambunctious at times, aren't they?" Sadly, many parents won't pick up on the hint, and those that do will probably get angry with you.
3. Discipline your own child, loudly and firmly enough that the other parents hear you. Your child has to be old enough to understand what is going on, and you have to review this with your child beforehand. If you can pull this off without upsetting your kid, you can say "Stop doing [insert behavior]. You know that is against the ship rules." Perhaps the other parents or kids will follow your lead.
4. If the other children's parents aren't around, you could try the option I have seen my wife use in the Buena Vista Theatre: sternly say, "Gentlemen/ladies, would your parents approve of the way you are behaving?" She did this once and the kids instantly settled down. Ironically, they were in the theatre with their parents the next day; they were again acting just as poorly, and their parents did not seem to mind at all! They did nothing!
5. Position yourself to save a child. While on the Wonder, a two year old was playing on the side "ramp" (the little slope under the railing) next to the stairs. Holding on to the railing, swinging around, trying to go up and down the slope. Her parents helped her for a minute, then put her on the steps and started talking with their friends. She returned to the ramp. I felt she was in danger, so I walked down below her in case she fell. When she left the ramp, I returned to our elevator, which had just arrived. The best part: my wife informed me on the elevator that the parents had shot me very dirty looks. They were clearly upset with me! However, I felt good that I had been in a position to help, and I had not created a confrontation. I upset the parents, but I was willing to do that, and be known as some sort of "meanie bo beanie" by them, in order to help a 2 year old not be injured by her parents' lack of parenting.
I think most of the time, I am trying to choose option one: not my responsibility. Far too many parents will be upset if someone else parents their child. In all fairness, my first reaction to someone parenting my child, especially if I am around, is "what makes you think you should parent my child? You don't know their abilities. You don't know them at all." So I understand that parents will step up to defend their child and their parenting style. It is only natural to do that. So, by and large, it is probably best to not hold others to my standard, whether mine is tougher or looser than the other person's.
How is that for a long-winded answer!
Anyone want to discuss politics and religion?