Are all men picky daters?

[North of Mouse]

I think the OP is gone !!??

 

[lisaviolet]

. The time to act is now. You've put it off long enough. You DESERVE to be happy. You DESERVE to make your dreams come true. You DESERVE to find true love. Take the advice and run with it. It will be hard, it will be scary, but it will be so worth it in the end.

What a wonderful and kind post!

 

[kaytieeldr]

I think the OP is gone !!??

Probably frustrated because virtually nobody seems to believe she isn't who she claims she isn't.

 

[pigletgirl]

Probably frustrated because virtually nobody seems to believe she isn't who she claims she isn't.

I guess when you get advice (after asking for it), and you don't like what people say, *poof* they're gone..

 

[tennvalgirl]

I guess when you get advice (after asking for it), and you don't like what people say, *poof* they're gone..

You've all been reported lol

 

[Sultana]

No more updates from the OP??
Does that mean she found a date and is enjoying the dating life style?

 

[mrsklamc]

Another trait strikingly similar to a poster we've seen before. I want to give the benefit of the doubt, because it's a big old world out there and entirely possible two dissers have the same kinds of problems but their stories and reactions are amazingly alike.

 

[aaarcher86]

Another trait strikingly similar to a poster we've seen before. I want to give the benefit of the doubt, because it's a big old world out there and entirely possible two dissers have the same kinds of problems but their stories and reactions are amazingly alike.

They have the same Christmas tree themes as well... Oh the similarities!

 

[goofyintoronto]

Another trait strikingly similar to a poster we've seen before. I want to give the benefit of the doubt, because it's a big old world out there and entirely possible two dissers have the same kinds of problems but their stories and reactions are amazingly alike.

 

[skylizard]

They have the same Christmas tree themes as well... Oh the similarities!

Good catch. After a little research I think we have a winner! The OP is definitely who we think it is...

Regarding christmas trees, Niceblueeyedgirl said:

"2-3. We are Hallmark ornament collectors. Our main tree, a 7 foot tree in the living room houses all of our Hallmark ornaments, in addition to Disney ornaments we collect from over the years...

Our secondary tree, about 6 foot in size, sits in our computer room, actually in front of a large bay window. On that one, we put homemade ornaments, generic ornaments, and any leftovers."


Mmackeymouse said:
"We have two fake trees.
The main one has all of our sentimental Hallmark, Disney ornaments, etc. All of our (immediate family) gifts go under this one.
The smaller tree has all of the older, generic and homemade ornaments on it, and we keep our extended family, friends, coworkers, gifts under it."


Either they are long lost twins or the same person

 

[palmtreegirl]

DW and I met in a bar in 1994 - been together ever since

And neither of us was actively "looking" at the time.

DH and I met in a bar on comedy night back in 1992 and neither of us were "looking" either.

 

[Tinkermommy]

Just in case the OP comes back or anyone else needs help with online dating, I found this TedTalks funny and informative. (though I am married and haven't applied the methodology!)

http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_webb_how_i_hacked_online_dating.html

But for the OP, the biggest thing you need to overcome are your thoughts about dating/men. Stop reading romance novels and talking to your Mom/friends because you are not getting good direction there.

Experience is the biggest teacher. You need to go out and talk to men. Not to date them but to learn how to interact with them first. There is a lot of good advice on places to go to meet men in this thread.

Dating is often an numbers game. You need to meet a lot of people and that means putting yourself out there and interact with a lot of men.

 

[mrsklamc]

Also in case op comes back- think about what your photos say about you. No, you don't want superficial, but you also don't want to post pics wearing stuff that's way out of date or a t-shirt communicating something offbeat. I mean, I like the tv show Doctor Who, but I wouldn't post a picture of myself wearing a Doctor Who t-shirt because if that's all they have to go on, they might decide I was a major sci fi person and some might find that weird. Or if someone posted a pic of themselves with their cat someone might decide they are a "crazy cat person."

 

[NHdisneylover]

They have the same Christmas tree themes as well... Oh the similarities!

Oh wow--great catch!

 

[LiveYourLife]

No more updates from the OP??
Does that mean she found a date and is enjoying the dating life style?

No. Probably not. The OP, which could be used as an acronym for both Original Poster or "Other" Poster in this case, has the same MO. Starts thread, asking for dating advice. Receives pages and pages of VERY good advice from people on the DIS. OP then argues about advice given. OP then abandons the thread completely. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I don't understand the need to create another screen name to ask the same questions you've asked about in the past. It's very attention seeking, IMHO.

 

[niceblueeyedgirl]

Welp, I am back.

Around Thanksgiving, my computer died, and I am still working on getting it fixed. I could have had it fixed a long time ago, but I wanted to save what was on my computer, and it has taken this long to get things saved.

Plus, with the holidays, I was and still am swamped.

Some updates for you, and yes I read through each and every response I got. Someone mentioned that maybe I have a fear of dating. It's funny, but I never imagined that before, but....it's very possible. I mean, if you asked any of my close friends or family, they would tell you I WANT to be married, more than anything in the world. That I have looked at engagement rings and been planning my wedding for as long as I can remember. But...dating is a very scary thing, this much is true.

I've actually stepped away from the online dating scene for now. I have devoted myself to my life and my work and getting everything in order. Honestly, organizationally, I am a mess, which is not normal for me. It's time to get life back in order.

I don't know what page, but a while back I posted about a guy that I was getting close to via online dating, and that it didn't work out. Well, update on that. Even though things didn't "work out," we continued to be friends and talked on FB and texted a couple of times a week. Anyway, he was going to call me this past weekend, but ended up he wasn't going to be able to after all. Then, about 11:30 at night, he messages me to ask me if I am up for a FB Video chat. Um, no! I needed to brush my hair, brush my teeth, put on makeup, something other than a ratty shirt...no I can't video chat, are you nuts?!

But, he said he was up for a phone call if I was, even though it was late. So, he called. It was...nice. He teased me incessantly about my accent (which I DO NOT have haha). He said that I was actually different on the phone than online, in a very good way. Unfortunately, the phone call only lasted 20 minutes or so. But, he said he wanted to do it again soon. (He could just be trying to be polite, but still...) So, everything was all fine and dandy, until about 10 minutes after, I got a text from him, thanking me for the phone call and sweet dreams and all that. Well, blush and swoon, and all that good stuff. Now, I am on cloud nine, but trying to keep my feet on the ground.

He may not be interested in me. But, maybe, just maybe, his interest was re-sparked somehow. I am trying not to get my hopes up. After all, he IS the one who said we should take things to the next level, and then, boom, "Sorry met someone else, have a nice life." I don't want to be anyone's second choice, but I don't want to completely write him off either. I mean, maybe this was God's way of showing us how to be just friends for a while.

I can't have too many of those late night phone calls though. The next day, I was daydreaming about it, and turned the wrong way down a one-way street. On roads I have known my entire life like the back of my hand. Or at least since I was old enough to see over the dashboard. Oops.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Welp, I am back.

Around Thanksgiving, my computer died, and I am still working on getting it fixed. I could have had it fixed a long time ago, but I wanted to save what was on my computer, and it has taken this long to get things saved.

Plus, with the holidays, I was and still am swamped.

Some updates for you, and yes I read through each and every response I got. Someone mentioned that maybe I have a fear of dating. It's funny, but I never imagined that before, but....it's very possible. I mean, if you asked any of my close friends or family, they would tell you I WANT to be married, more than anything in the world. That I have looked at engagement rings and been planning my wedding for as long as I can remember. But...dating is a very scary thing, this much is true.

I've actually stepped away from the online dating scene for now. I have devoted myself to my life and my work and getting everything in order. Honestly, organizationally, I am a mess, which is not normal for me. It's time to get life back in order.

I don't know what page, but a while back I posted about a guy that I was getting close to via online dating, and that it didn't work out. Well, update on that. Even though things didn't "work out," we continued to be friends and talked on FB and texted a couple of times a week. Anyway, he was going to call me this past weekend, but ended up he wasn't going to be able to after all. Then, about 11:30 at night, he messages me to ask me if I am up for a FB Video chat. Um, no! I needed to brush my hair, brush my teeth, put on makeup, something other than a ratty shirt...no I can't video chat, are you nuts?!

But, he said he was up for a phone call if I was, even though it was late. So, he called. It was...nice. He teased me incessantly about my accent (which I DO NOT have haha). He said that I was actually different on the phone than online, in a very good way. Unfortunately, the phone call only lasted 20 minutes or so. But, he said he wanted to do it again soon. (He could just be trying to be polite, but still...) So, everything was all fine and dandy, until about 10 minutes after, I got a text from him, thanking me for the phone call and sweet dreams and all that. Well, blush and swoon, and all that good stuff. Now, I am on cloud nine, but trying to keep my feet on the ground.

He may not be interested in me. But, maybe, just maybe, his interest was re-sparked somehow. I am trying not to get my hopes up. After all, he IS the one who said we should take things to the next level, and then, boom, "Sorry met someone else, have a nice life." I don't want to be anyone's second choice, but I don't want to completely write him off either. I mean, maybe this was God's way of showing us how to be just friends for a while.

I can't have too many of those late night phone calls though. The next day, I was daydreaming about it, and turned the wrong way down a one-way street. On roads I have known my entire life like the back of my hand. Or at least since I was old enough to see over the dashboard. Oops.

Putting on my internet psychology hat I think this is the main issue. Not the only one, but the main one. You are so focused on getting married, and to a LARGE extent on the ring/wedding part of that (not the relationship) and the focus on the relationship is rather unrealistic that dating, for you, is not a fun adventure to get to know someone (which is what the other person is likely wanting, it is what dating is to most people). Dating, for you, is more like a super stressful job interview that you and he must both pass with flying colors so you can get to your dream wedding. That puts FAR too much pressure on for you to be comfortable, and for anyone else to have fun, KWIM?

 

[threeboysmom]

What the heck is wrong with you ladies? If someone posts on here with an alias, why is it your business to call them out with their real name? Seriously?? How does that help? What does it prove? That you're some nosey know-it-all? That you're smarter than the rest of us because you figured it out?? Yeah, that's something to be proud of all right.

I don't get it. Sorry if I come across harsh, but this happens over and over on the DIS and it's just downright NASTY.

OP, I don't care WHO the heck you are. I just want to point out the truth about low response rate on dating sites. Most people don't have a paid subscription and therefore cannot message nor read receive messages. How do I know? I have made profiles on about 4 sites. I'll occasionally go on and browse (so now my profile looks like I'm active/current), but I cannot read any messages or send any bc I haven't paid. For the heck of it, one time I paid for a month (they were running a special) on eHarmony, and oh my gosh, I had 2-3 YEARS of messages sitting in my inbox!!!!!!! Those men, I'm sure, all thought they weren't good enough since I didn't respond.

Just want to point out that if you're being ignored, it's most likely 80% of your messages aren't getting read.

 

[mrsklamc]

What the heck is wrong with you ladies? If someone posts on here with an alias, why is it your business to call them out with their real name? Seriously?? How does that help? What does it prove? That you're some nosey know-it-all? That you're smarter than the rest of us because you figured it out?? Yeah, that's something to be proud of all right.

I don't get it. Sorry if I come across harsh, but this happens over and over on the DIS and it's just downright NASTY.

Honestly, I don't go tracking people down when they choose to post under an alias. And if you look at my posts, I did my very best to assume OP was being honest - until someone posted the Christmas tree info.

In this particular case though- I do hope it communicates something to OP that people were able to peg her right away. She has some unrealistic ideals that are going to be detrimental to a healthy relationship, and perhaps a relationship at all. It would be wonderful if the fact that people could identify her right away helped her realize that these concepts are unique to her, and she needs to let them go to get to where she wants to be.

 

[Art 1]

What the heck is wrong with you ladies? If someone posts on here with an alias, why is it your business to call them out with their real name? Seriously?? How does that help? What does it prove? That you're some nosey know-it-all? That you're smarter than the rest of us because you figured it out?? Yeah, that's something to be proud of all right.

I don't get it. Sorry if I come across harsh, but this happens over and over on the DIS and it's just downright NASTY.

OP, I don't care WHO the heck you are. I just want to point out the truth about low response rate on dating sites. Most people don't have a paid subscription and therefore cannot message nor read receive messages. How do I know? I have made profiles on about 4 sites. I'll occasionally go on and browse (so now my profile looks like I'm active/current), but I cannot read any messages or send any bc I haven't paid. For the heck of it, one time I paid for a month (they were running a special) on eHarmony, and oh my gosh, I had 2-3 YEARS of messages sitting in my inbox!!!!!!! Those men, I'm sure, all thought they weren't good enough since I didn't respond.

Just want to point out that if you're being ignored, it's most likely 80% of your messages aren't getting read.

I think that was aaarcher or someone like that who did that, maybe it was on another thread. I thought it was creepy.