Anyone else not have kids?

[lovemygoofy]

No kids, no pets just a plant. We did try for children and it didn't happen naturally. We didn't pursue any other avenues and right now we are content being Aunt and Uncle.

I think what cracks me up is the parents that tell us we are so lucky to not have kids. What a statement to make. Gosh.

 

[leebee]

I had DD when I was 37, quite unplanned. DH and I had lived together forever, but didn't marry until I was 36. I listened to all the well-meaning "better hurry to have kids" relatives and friends. Then, after DD was born, it was "better hurry, you don't want her to be an only child," and "why aren't you having another?" (How about "we don't care if she's an only" and "It's none of your darned business?") It's always annoyed me that the world feels free to comment on someone else's reproductive choices!

 

[YachtClubWoman]

Years of infertility treatment and a failed IVF round. Decided I could not handle the tests, dr visits, needles anymore- we did not pursue adoption. We are so happy with our life. Ironically our niece and nephew live with us for a year when they were 8 and 5. It was the hardest thing and best thing we ever did. If we would have had a child the child would have been 5 at the time - and a bigger transition for all of us. Also, the experience taught me compassion when someone that reported to me had a child that was sick and needed to be home.

 

[Marchand63]

It seems that most people on here are parents, which isn't surprising since it's a Disney board. Any other non-parents here? I have no (human) children and never will.

I am a parent but never wanted kids. I love him & the resulting grands but honestly would have been good kidless.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I do not have any biological children. I am engaged to have 2 stepchildren. We have bonded so well, and it is really a great relationship that we have. I hope it grows even more. Yes I realize that I will never replace their mother. There is no reason they cannot have a relationship with both of us. When we get married, one of them will be living with us. It was so cute, she just wanted to go ahead and move in with me now but my fiance won't let her. The oldest and I are best buddies, it is pretty awesome.

 

[si-am]

No kids. We've tried. We went through fertility testing years ago and there was nothing strange or abnormal found. I've just never been able to conceive, and there seems to be no medical reason for it. I'm 42 this year so I guess it will never happen. I'm sad about it sometimes but I'm not sure about adoption, and I'm SURE I couldn't deal with the treatments related to IVF. The tests and treatments I went though already were too hard-- I was an emotional wreck during that time!

I'm mostly okay with it, but sometimes still get sad. I don't have nieces or nephews, either.

 

[perditax]

No kids for me and Mrs. Homie. We had a hard time conceiving back when we first started trying, didn't want to invest the money or emotional energy in adoption or fertility treatments. So I read a few books on the childfree* lifestyle, decided to make lemonade out of lemons, and never looked back.

*I absolutely hate the word "childfree." It's like you view children as something to be avoided, like you're "drug-free" or "disease-free." Similarly, I hate the word "childless." It's like you're lacking something that by all rights you should have, like you're "armless" or "sightless." I prefer the word "non-parent," since it's neutral.

I don't have a problem with the word itself, exactly (I think I may be the first one who used it in this thread) but if you seek out "childfree" message forums you will end up in some fairly hostile waters. (I don't "hate" kids, I just never had a maternal drive. Well, and sometimes I wish they came with volume knobs, but I have sensitive hearing.)

Like, sometimes I like talking with other like-minded folks who are similarly at a loss to understand the drive to fill up the planet with a billion more humans, but then they veer over into real "kid hating" territory I'm not comfortable with at all. Kids are kids, and no one asked to be born, so explicitly disliking the kids themselves is ... odd, unless we're taking about something that is fairly silly (like the volume knob joke).

 

[Uncranky Donald]

We don't have children either and at this point (me being 46 and my husband being 57) it is not going to happen. We too love our nieces and nephews and don't hate children by any means, although there are people who still think it is strange we do not have kids.

I find that most people just assume I'm a mother, I guess by my age and demeanor? For me though not having children is normal in my family. My only bio aunt has no children (just 11 cats/3foster kittens!!), my Godmother's sister has no children, my brother's Godmother's sister has no children. So all the close women in my life had a sister who had no children. As well none of my great aunts or uncles on my mother's side had children. So I figure my brother carried the weight and had the kids for the family!! Ironically my mother is a NBICU nurse, so I know lots about babies

 

[erin1715]

No kids. We've tried. We went through fertility testing years ago and there was nothing strange or abnormal found. I've just never been able to conceive, and there seems to be no medical reason for it. I'm 42 this year so I guess it will never happen. I'm sad about it sometimes but I'm not sure about adoption, and I'm SURE I couldn't deal with the treatments related to IVF. The tests and treatments I went though already were too hard-- I was an emotional wreck during that time!

I'm mostly okay with it, but sometimes still get sad. I don't have nieces or nephews, either.

I posted above but I went through 6 rounds of IVF and had two chemical pregnancies. We have decided that we're done with fertility treatment. I couldn't do it anymore both emotionally and financially. I lived my life based around when I would cycle again, and I feel so free knowing that I'm not waiting for that any longer. I do have a niece, two nephews, and at least two more on the way, and for me, honestly it just makes it harder to be around them...

 

[jenm2878]

I think what cracks me up is the parents that tell us we are so lucky to not have kids. What a statement to make. Gosh.

We do have kids, but we had them a bit later because we were undecided if we were going to pull the trigger or not. (Together since we were 19 & 21, oldest born when we were 33 & 35) I have a girlfriend who is undecided if she wants kids and I (mostly jokingly) tell her not to do it. I love my kids to death and I wouldn't change a thing, but it's exhausting and expensive. It's what we signed up for and I'm not complaining, but on an especially hard day I can't help but miss some of the freedom we used to have. The grass is always greener, you know?

 

[erin1715]

We do have kids, but we had them a bit later because we were undecided if we were going to pull the trigger or not. (Together since we were 19 & 21, oldest born when we were 33 & 35) I have a girlfriend who is undecided if she wants kids and I (mostly jokingly) tell her not to do it. I love my kids to death and I wouldn't change a thing, but it's exhausting and expensive. It's what we signed up for and I'm not complaining, but on an especially hard day I can't help but miss some of the freedom we used to have. The grass is always greener, you know?

I have to admit, hearing things like this make me feel a teeny tiny bit better about not being able to have kids, so far.

 

[BrianL]

No kids here and never really wanted any. Of course, I'm also terminally single, so it's not like I expect to have the option any time soon.

 

[RedAngie]

I'm sometimes amused by child-free-by-choice couples or singles who make a point of saying they love spending time with their nieces, nephews, or other young extended family members. You don't need to apologize for or justify your choice. And it's OK to hate being around kids if that's the case.

 

[morgan98]

I'm sometimes amused by child-free-by-choice couples or singles who make a point of saying they love spending time with their nieces, nephews, or other young extended family members. You don't need to apologize for or justify your choice. And it's OK to hate being around kids if that's the case.

I don't think it is trying to justify our choice. I think it comes from being somewhat defensive because there are plenty of people who find it odd when you say you do not have children. Some go as far as to assume it is because you don't like children. Some childless people do not like kids, and that is fine. However, there are plenty of us that do like kids, but are fine without having our own. I mean it does get annoying when people think you are clueless around kids or are not capable of caring for a child. That is why I feel the need to sometimes point that out.

 

[LilyWDW]

I'm sometimes amused by child-free-by-choice couples or singles who make a point of saying they love spending time with their nieces, nephews, or other young extended family members. You don't need to apologize for or justify your choice. And it's OK to hate being around kids if that's the case.

The thing is, I have gotten a lot of flack as a female who doesn't want kids of their own. People automatically seem to think you hate children and that something is "wrong" with you. Thus why I get defensive about it.

 

[si-am]

I posted above but I went through 6 rounds of IVF and had two chemical pregnancies. We have decided that we're done with fertility treatment. I couldn't do it anymore both emotionally and financially. I lived my life based around when I would cycle again, and I feel so free knowing that I'm not waiting for that any longer. I do have a niece, two nephews, and at least two more on the way, and for me, honestly it just makes it harder to be around them...

I'm really sorry. It does make you an emotional mess! It's why I had to stop, too. Even though I still throw the occasional pity party for myself, I'm in such a better place since I stopped. When you're constantly charting or counting cycle days or whatever, it's like it's ALWAYS forefront in your mind, and it's not healthy. Totally understand.