Anyone else have no one to spend the holidays with?

[Wishing on a star]

We are kind of in that same boat.
I was lucky to grow up in a large family, and even though things were far from perfect, we had the family Thanksgiving with the Turkey, etc..

For many years, my and DH and DS's Holidays have been dominated by spending time at my inlaws. Just the two of them. Of coarse, that was not always a happy positive thing for me.

Now all of my son's grandparents are deceased, and my family do not all live close, have other plans, etc.

It is hard when one has gone from 'Norman Rockwell', to no extended family at Thanksgiving.

You know, times change, things change, and everyone's situation is different.
I do understand being a little 'sad'. That Norman Rockwell dream is not always possible or realistic.
I think it might be a good thing to think outside of the box, (that totally traditional box) and reach out to what family and friends we do have, and enjoy the Holiday and make new memories!

We are not doing much over Thanksgiving.
In December, we are going on an overnight to enjoy some Christmas cheer and festivities.

Sometimes I think ny husband could be like Tim Allen in Christmas with the Kranks, and plan a cruise!!!!

 

[lovemygoofy]

I make family wherever I go. My husband and I are both from bigger families who have big dinners still. However, we don't live near them and traveling during the holidays is a hassle. Every few years we do make the effort for Christmas and that also relies upon him being home for the holidays.

We have wonderful holiday meals at my home. We do a huge feast and invite everyone around us that may not be going home or just want to be with others. We have board games, video games, football and anything else we can dream up. For our single soldiers, I want to show them they have family here and they are cared for.

 

[Kellydelly]

I understand how you feel. I will be having dinner with my husband and four kids, but wish it were a bigger family event with sisters, brothers, cousins, or aunts and uncles. I grew up having Thanksgiving dinner with just our immediate family, sometimes my mother's mom too (only living grandparent at the time). It was boring. Then I started attending Thanksgiving dinner with dh when we were dating, which included his sister and her kids, his grandparents, and aunt and uncle, and a step uncle and his wife and kids. That was for about 7 years. Then grandparents slowed down (and passed) and that tradition stopped. I have been cooking Thanksgiving dinner on my own for about 15 years. Dh has a lot of aunts and uncles on his mom's side. We have only done one Christmas dinner with them. I think people just assume others have plans or traditions and so they don't reach out and include everyone. Things change so much over the years, especially with the passing of older relatives. I wish I had what I consider a richer tradition of family for my kids to enjoy, but disfunction is rampant in my family. It sucks!

 

[minkydog]

this thread reminds me that many don't have the Picture pefect Thanksgiving dinner-like Norman Rockwell painted

View attachment 136879

I love this picture, but I don't think it represents the majority of Americans. It certainly doesn't represent me or anyone in my family. We are so far-flung that it's unusual for any of us to have more than 6 people at the Thanksgiving table. I suspect there are more people who just have themselves and there kids, such as single parents, people without significant others, the homeless, and the elderly. It really breaks my heart to think that someone truly would be alone on this very special day.

 

[RedHatDisney]

There is a big difference between being "alone" (small family/friends unit) and being "alone" (just you, no one else). Trust me. Count your blessings that you aren't truly ALONE!

 

[focusondisney]

We have lots of family- my mom, siblings & lots of nieces & nephews. We do get together for the typical holiday meals at Thanksgiving & Christmas. My DD has decided not to do family Thanksgiving this year- she is staying home alone by choice. No travel or work issues- she only lives minutes away. My dad passed away last month & mom's birthday was a week ago so my extended family has been all together quite a bit lately. DD is just " familied out" right now. She is single, so will really be alone. I felt bad to think she'll be alone on the holiday, but she's a grown woman who is having the holiday she wants, so that's fine. We see her every weekend anyway.

Most other holidays, July 4th, Memorial Day, Easter, etc it's just my DH & I. We don't do family get togethers for those.

 

[pryncess527]

Dh and I have a small Thanksgiving together, it's our tradition and I love that that particular holiday is small. His father is joining us this year and I am delighted to have a 3rd person to help with leftovers!!

I do get wistful for large family gatherings in the summer though -- my grandparents used to host two family reunions every summer -- one on the 4th of July for my granddad's side and one in August for my grandmom's side -- we haven't had those in years since they passed and I really miss them. Those were our big family gatherings -- Thanksgiving has always been a smaller event for us.

 

[DaisyDuck001]

Always would have liked a Waltons-style Thanksgiving with a large and caring extended family, but that hasn't happened for me. This Thanksgiving I was alone. It's sad not having the ideal type of Thanksgiving, but I was thankful for friends, even though I didn't get to meet up with them that day. I did find one advantage to having Thanksgiving actually alone. I chose only the Thanksgiving foods I like best, and made turkey salad as the main dish. I enjoyed cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, etc., but it was easier not to overeat, compared with all the food there probably would have been at a large gathering. Those who have Thanksgiving with even a smaller family group are blessed to have the people they have, especially if those people are kind to you.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

OMg-I SERIOUSLY thought I was posting the ORIGINAL painting -LOL​

HAHAHAHA....I did not even notice "the spoof". I had to go back and look at it.

 

[Madame]

My DM has 16 siblings ( yup you read that right) & my DF had 4. Canadian Thanksgiving was never that big a deal, but Christmas was awesome. Both sets of grandparents lived in the same small hamlet as us, so there were dozens of us at Christmas.

My parents moved us an hour away in my late teens & we all still live here & the rest of my cousins are scattered around the country. Neither my DB nor DBIL have kids (& probably never will), so our 3 are the only grandkids. It makes me sad that they won't experience a large extended family Christmas. Some of my best childhood memories are of those times - learning to play cards, getting snowed in, making popcorn strands for the tree.

Last Christmas & this one coming up we've chosen to go away (much to my MIL's horror). I find Christmas a bit depressing now at home since my DF passed & as a teacher Christmas is one of the 2 winter weeks when we can take a vacation. So we're creating a new tradition & making the best of it .

 

[China Expat]

I was alone in China this Thanksgiving...actually forgot because it was just a work day!

 

[tomatecerise]

In 2013 We are 3 for Christmas eve like the 33 last years (mother, Sister and me - My father passed away In 1979). The Christmas morning i made a brunch with My godmother, godfather, aunt and cousin.

But In 2014 My mother passed away from cardiac arrest and My godmother 1 week later from cancer. We Gone to My aunt for Christmas. It Was hard for all of us because she lost her two sisters too but We are not alone. We return this year and i think It Will Be more fun.

 

[ronandannette]

NewRVLady -- Nice spoof of the original Rockwell piece! I almost overlooked all the electronic devices.

​

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Hahahaha - Grandma with an iPhone and Grandpa taking pictures with an iPad - thinking of my own family, that truly strikes me as hilarious! Satire at it's finest! Who actually is the artist on this piece?

We are kind of in that same boat.
I was lucky to grow up in a large family, and even though things were far from perfect, we had the family Thanksgiving with the Turkey, etc..

For many years, my and DH and DS's Holidays have been dominated by spending time at my inlaws. Just the two of them. Of coarse, that was not always a happy positive thing for me.

How does that work? They refuse to take you or you refuse to go? Don't the IL's ever wonder where you are? (Sorry, this presumes you and your DH are still married - maybe this isn't the case and your DS spends holidays with his Dad?)

 

[Shelley Chiarats]

I understand the OP's sentiment. I was a bit wistful this holiday for the old times when there was a big family group around. I think my wish is that Thanksgiving would just be special in some way. Ours was not bad but it seemed like many other weekend meals.

But also like others have said it is good to have a family at all. There are many out there who don't.

 

[dotfurio]

We don't get together with extended family, with the exception of my mom, who lives a couple miles from me.

The rest family is states away, and DH family isn't close even though some live in the same town as us.

Sometimes I miss the big get-togethers we used to do when I was kid, but then again I like being able to do my own thing, cook what I want, be on my own schedule, not having to travel or entertain, etc. It's much more relaxing for me. I still connect with family and we get together occasionally, just not for the holidays.

 

[POOHsie]

​

Hahahaha - Grandma with an iPhone and Grandpa taking pictures with an iPad - thinking of my own family, that truly strikes me as hilarious! Satire at it's finest! Who actually is the artist on this piece?

...

Top left corner of the spoof painting, it says "Sam Spratt Gizmodo." I read at one time Spratt was Gizmodo's chief artist.

 

[wishesuponastar]

I make family wherever I go. My husband and I are both from bigger families who have big dinners still. However, we don't live near them and traveling during the holidays is a hassle. Every few years we do make the effort for Christmas and that also relies upon him being home for the holidays.

We have wonderful holiday meals at my home. We do a huge feast and invite everyone around us that may not be going home or just want to be with others. We have board games, video games, football and anything else we can dream up. For our single soldiers, I want to show them they have family here and they are cared for.

You are so sweet to host a Holiday meal for your friends. It means the world to them I'm sure.

 

[karly05]

Growing up, Thanksgiving was always nuclear family (Mom, Dad, Sis & me) and maternal g'ma (who was at our house at least weekly anyway). That's how I was raised, and I'm so thankful and lucky. How many threads do you see about people having to deal with family drama involving in-laws, obnoxious relatives, etc etc? One guy I work with was going to have to go to three other houses for Thanksgiving. For those who have and enjoy extended family get-togethers, that's great, and more power to you, but I would go nuts. I really am completely on my own for Thanksgiving and I love it. I'm so ready for a break from work stress at that point, I look forward to a nice quiet day to crash. I go to a nearby restaurant that puts on a delicious Thanksgiving buffet and just take it easy. My sister will be here for Christmas and we'll cook a turkey and have a nice holiday together, and that's great, too. (We'll get together with a couple of relatives while she's here, but not on Christmas proper.) I'm a big old introvert and "socializing with company" is not my favorite thing, though, FWIW.

 

[LJSquishy]

I grew up only having Thanksgiving and Christmas with my immediate family (parents & sibling). It was always just the 4 of us and we always had fun, especially at Christmas. We didn't live near any family so we made our own traditions.

After moving to where I live now (my husband's hometown), Thanksgiving and Christmas is almost always with his side of the family, usually around 12 people plus or minus. Every once and a while we'll visit my parents and it will be the 4 of us. Sometimes I like the big get-togethers, but I'm so used to having smaller gatherings that I do prefer less people in general. Large gatherings can be chaotic at times! We also previously had a very small house (1400sqft, two story) and I hated having anyone over because it felt so cramped. We're getting ready to build a new house which will be almost 2700sqft (two story) and I'm actually really looking forward to having company over...especially since our kitchen will be huge!
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[arminnie]

I'm not too sure I'm understanding the question/subject line and replies. People are saying they have no one to spend holidays with yet they mention spouses and kids and small families. I thought no one meant...well... no one.

There is a big difference between being "alone" (small family/friends unit) and being "alone" (just you, no one else). Trust me. Count your blessings that you aren't truly ALONE!

I was feeling empathy for OP until I read the part about just being with kids - maybe a spouse? I've moved across country many times totally alone. I always made friends eventually, but it takes time. In my profession I never got Friday off so I could never travel to see family. I know many people who happily spend Thanksgiving with 1 or 2 family members. Totally different from being really alone.