Anyone else have no one to spend the holidays with?

[Tiffylv]

.

 

[ols386]

When I was a kid, we always had huge Thanksgiving and Christmas family gatherings.

Lots of aunts, uncles, siblings, cousins.

Thinking back on those days, I love it that we all got together as a large group, and in some ways I really miss it.

But now that we don't have that any longer, the small groups are really nice too.

 

[nene0182]

It's just my husband and I since most of our family live far away and the ones that do live here spend time with their "other side" My son spends Thanksgiving with his dad every year and my husband usually gets called into work. So, I just hang out around the house, usually spending too much money online. This year, our neighbor invited us over so we are going. I get a bit of anxiety around groups I don't know but I'll suck it up. It's nice to be included.

 

[Blackadder337]

Growing up we never had the big family gatherings. Most of my family lives in England, so it was just my parents, my sister and myself. My aunt is in Washington DC so once in a while she'd come to visit. Once I hit my late teens and early 2o's, my sister moved out, so my folks often travelled. So I spent many holidays alone. There were years being alone bothered me, and there were years that it didn't. Now that I'm married with a child, we spent some of the holidays with my inlaws. They are a much bigger, much louder group. Sometimes its a blast, sometimes its not.

But I think overall, I'd rather have friends and family, with the option to be alone if I choose

 

[jiminyC_fan]

We use to have a family gathering. Then, sister in law had an affair on my brother. Their kids were poisoned against him. He know lives with us due to his health and finances. Now my two son in laws don't talk because one said a pretty nasty comment and it got back to the other. So it is just the three of us now. We have zero family willing to get together now due to all the in laws, outsiders. I have contact with everyone but not all together. Even my twin girls are separated somewhat because of their stupid husbands. I'm just sick. Every year I just want to run away.

 

[NewRVLady]

this thread reminds me that many don't have the Picture pefect Thanksgiving dinner-like Norman Rockwell painted

 

[Kitty 34]

this thread reminds me that many don't have the Picture perfect Thanksgiving dinner-like Norman Rockwell painted

View attachment 136879

There is no way I could lift that turkey thanks to a broken neck I had years ago. And......I wouldn't be wearing a dress!

 

[mom2AidanAndEli]

OP, I know exactly how you feel! I really have no family at all. One brother I haven't seen in years (and for many reasons, better that way!). Another brother who is autistic, in a group home, and he'd actually rather stay there--the whole routine thing. One aunt I see a few times a year. That's it.

My husband has more family, but is estranged from them for the most part--again better that way.

So it's just he and I and our two boys. I get really sad that they don't have grandparents and cousins and aunts and uncles. But that's the way it is. This year the oldest is playing in the marching band and the football game is at home. I'll be going over early to help cook breakfast for the band and then we'll all go to the game. Then home to cook dinner and relax. The boys always get a new board game on Thanksgiving, so we'll play that, watch some football, and kick back quietly. Maybe not the picture perfect day you see on TV, but it's the best we can do. They know nothing different, so I guess it's fine. I kind of look forward to when they grow up, have families of their own, and maybe we'll have the big gatherings then! Believe me, I'm thankful for what I do have. But it's hard to not be wistful....

 

[clori]

Ours has changed over time. My siblings are 8 and 10 years older than me. At one point my brother and his family came to my parents house but that stopped years ago. Now he just goes to a restaurant with his family. It is still my family, my sister and now her daughter and family plus my mother (first Thanksgiving without my father).

I got married in August. My inlaws invited us to bring my 12 year old niece for Thanksgiving weekend so she could have see some of the city. Thanksgiving morning we went from MA to NH to have Thanksgiving lunch with my family then left early to go back to Boston to take a bus to New York. We weren't doing Thanksgiving in NY that day (had leftovers next day) but to give 2.5 days for visit. That was the last year my brother went to NH for Thanksgiving I think. That was the last year we went to NYC for Thanksgiving due to other factors like mil passing away, fil developing Alzheimer's etc. Right now we treasure Thanksgiving with my mother and family in NH but one day I would love to go to NYC for Thanksgiving and see the parade. My kids do not know what an at home Thanksgiving is but we did host once when they were both under 5.

My city hosts a big Thanksgiving lunch (12-2) on Thanksgiving. It is free and for both anyone who can't afford a nice Thanksgiving meal and for people who are alone (not poor just alone) as long as they can get themselves to the location. Other groups deliver Thanksgiving meals to anyone unable to get out.

 

[Saphire]

I do understand how people long for a holiday that captures all the things that their dreams are made of. There is nothing wrong with having those dreams. But as others here have expressed, it is a good thing to accept what you have right here and now, with gratitude. There may be others that look at your life and wish they could have it! Make this holiday count with the people you share it with, even though you are few in number. You are blessed.

 

[cijay]

I always get a little sad the week of Thanksgiving. Co-workers are discussing their travel plans and menu options. Most everyone I used to spend Thanksgiving with is dead. The current generation is flung all across the country and does not fly to be together for the holidays. For seven years now it has just been my little family. We do watch the parade and make the traditional dinner, but I hate all those ads on TV where everyone is getting together. But I figure my kids don’t know anything different, so they don’t care, as this is their norm. Anyone else in the same boat?

Nope, not in the same boat. The past two Christmases I have spent alone. No "little family" or anything. The three Christmases I spent in Turkey, I was alone - combined with the fact that there was no Christmas at all. So I have spent five of my last ten Thanksgvings and Christmases alone. So "little family" would be cool but on the other hand, no mess to clean up, right?

*Edit* I'm not too sure I'm understanding the question/subject line and replies. People are saying they have no one to spend holidays with yet they mention spouses and kids and small families. I thought no one meant...well... no one.

 

[tigercat]

I used to have big well fairly big Christmas's and Thanksgivings but things have changed. My one daughter has decided that I was the evil mother of all times. The things she has told people I did is unbelievable except some of my family believes it all. So her and her husband as well as my one granddaughter won't come to my house anymore. Her other daughter ended up living with us for 3 yrs. but just this past summer has gotten married and now lives 10 hrs. away. My other daughter and I are fine except for her husband has gotten funny in the last 3 yrs. So they usually don't come. I have my 2 sons and my husband and that is all now. The first year it was really hard but now I realize I don't have to do a lot of the 4 of us. It is a regular dinner. Christmas is usually the 3 men going out to a movie and me just spending the day enjoying myself. I do cook a turkey but not a lot of sides and I don't have to prepare as much. It is what it is.

 

[Sleepingbeauty101]

I have a very large family! I have 8 brothers and sisters 16 nieces and nephews, 12 cousins plus other extended family. At thanksgiving there can be between 50 to 75 people at any given moment, I remember a time where it used to be at least 100. This year the whole family is getting together, however Christmaps is going to be different. It's going to just be me and my daughter. My parents are going out of town to celebrate my aunts 80th birthday, as well as my one sister and her new husband, and my other siblings will be with their inlaws. After my grandma passed away a year ago the extended family doesn't get together anymore. I really enjoy being with my family so this year is gonna be hard, but I'm thankful and I'm gonna try to start a new tradition with my daughter! I think for anyone change is hard, but I'm trying to see it as a new opportunity, things could be worse!

 

[ravenclawtrekkie]

I live 800+ miles from my parents, no other living family. I'll be working all the holidays anyhow.

 

[tennvalgirl]

WOW. I truly am blessed beyond words after reading everyone's posts.

I feel for all of you.

Peace be with you

 

[AppleDumpling]

OP, if being "alone" with your immediate family makes you sad, why not invite some friends to celebrate with you, maybe another "little family" you know, or some single and/or elderly neighbors who would appreciate the company?

Or you could volunteer at a local soup kitchen, nursing home or hospital.

 

[POOHsie]

this thread reminds me that many don't have the Picture pefect Thanksgiving dinner-like Norman Rockwell painted

View attachment 136879

NewRVLady -- Nice spoof of the original Rockwell piece! I almost overlooked all the electronic devices.

Here's another, by gifted Disney artist and illustrator, Charles Boyer.

​

 

[I loveStitchnippyjon]

It will just be DH and me this year. One DD has a retail job, so can't drive 5 hours just for one day. Other DD was on her honeymoon over Thanksgiving a few years ago, and ever since had taken a vacation trip over the holiday. At least they and spouses will be here for Christmas!

 

[NewRVLady]

NewRVLady -- Nice spoof of the original Rockwell piece! I almost overlooked all the electronic devices

​

OMg-I SERIOUSLY thought I was posting the ORIGINAL painting -LOL​

 

[CaoilinnsMom]

My family is small. I have one brother, he and his wife did not have children. On holidays it is just my parents, my daughter and I, and my brother with his wife. That is all we have. It is nice, low stress.