Any tips for ADD/ODD children at WDW?

[FTWFAN]

My DS/9 was diagnosed with ADD at age 6 and ODD at age 7 1/2. We have been on many trips to WDW and usually have several meltdowns. These usually result in DH or I taking him back to the resort and the other staying with our 2 girls. We try to stay on schedule with meals and bedtimes and I do continue his meds while on vacation. When he has a meltdown, there is no talking or reasoning with him. He gets really angry. There are mostly no warnings to his meltdowns. Usually nothing specific to indicate what sets him off. It can be anything from him beginning to get tired or hungry, asking him to do something his sisters want to do, not getting an answer to his question quickly enough. I know this makes him sound like a spoiled brat, but for the most part he is really a good kid.
Any experiences or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. We have reservations for next weekend and we are really looking forward to a weekend away! This is going to be a rushed trip and I am really concerned! Thanks!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I'm not a diagnosed ODD--but I went to SeaWorld once and had a major meltdown (as an adult!!!) b/c all the shows were scheduled and I needed to plan my day but I had to very at ease people who just wanted to go with the flow. I couldn't handle that---and I do mentally preplan my days at most any theme park. Mostly it isn't b/c I can't do what I want--but just b/c I want the day to flow as smoothly as possible and for me that requires some sort of structure to the day. I am MUCH better now and the liklihood of something like that happening is very slim to none...but at the time--you would have thought someone killed my puppy for as hysterical and upset I got do to high anxiety.

I would suggest to staying as close to your home routine as possible. If bedtimes and meal times/snack times are held on schedule like clock work and this is important for his well being...by all means stick to this while at WDW. Eat breakfast at 7am, lunch at noon and dinner at 5pm. If your heart is set on an ADR that doesn't correspond to your home times---I would weigh what is more important...the ADR, or preventing a problem. If the ADR is very important--make sure your son eats on his schedule anyway and then when you get to the ADR...maybe he can enjoy dessert, or just the atmosphere.

Pre-arrange ahead of time a system for alternating who gets to do what. I will use MK as an example.

There are 4-lands: Frontier, Tomorrow, Fantasy, Adventure.

Pick the lands in order from youngest to oldest ahead of time. (with the oldest being Mom and dad picking the last land).

Next---once you have pre-arranged how you will hit the lands....then have the next oldest child who did not make the selection, select the first ride--and then go in sequence.

Doing something like this--you will have a structured plan of who gets to make the choices.

As far as parades and such--try to get show schedules ahead of time.....for show heavy parks (MGM and AK)--follow the same process, just do it ahead of time. Each child picks their show--and structure the day so that you will hit them all, keeping into consideration the schedule your son might need to follow.

For the parades---decide ahead of time if these are must-do's or skips..and plan the day around these so that when teh schedule is interrupted...it isn't your sons turn that is getting delayed. If it looks like it will delayed---delay the turn before his also and just take a break and set up camp for the parade.

While I do not have anxiety much anymore (Got it really under control)--I still follow the same mantra in the parks b/c it really does make it enjoyable for us.

If he has a meltdown--find a quiet place. However you take care of it at home (since the talking and reasoning don't work)--try to do the same thing at Disney.


Also--pack snacks--so that way if you know that hunger is setting him off--at least you can give him something.

Have a fun trip!

 

[MidgeD79]

OP I feel your pain! My 7 year-old son has ADHA and Bi- polar. His first trip he was not diagnosed yet and it was not pleasant. I had 2 other ds by myself and I felt bad for the boys when we had to leave a line. Next trip he was medicated for the ADHD and was much better until the meds wore off.. it was like a switch (on and off). This time he will be fully medicated and I will have 1 of my adult children with me. I will totally be in charge of ds and try to get his input as much as possible. He is a little guy (47#) and can be really squirmy. The only thing that works at home is for me to sit on him. I don't think that will work on pavement in the Florida heat ( we always go in the summer I work for the schools) LOL. He was recently diagnosed learnng disabled and is now getting help for that. I'm hoping it will help reduce some of his frustrations. We have several months to work on it. Good luck

 

[cometzero]

there is a disability board here and they are really helpful, perhaps some of the suggestion for other conditions that cause meltdowns would work, Lyn

 

[horsegirl]

FTWFAN, I am so sorry- our DS6 has ADHD too, but not ODD. I think the parks are so overstimulating. We really made sure we went back to the hotel in the day and took a couple hour break. That seemed to help our guy, and we didn't try to do too much. He still had a few rough spots. We were sometimes able to do some preteaching about what would happen if he started to have a hard time, get angry, not listen...and would take him off to say, the huck finn island in MK, if we sensed it was a tough time ahead. That place is like an oasis, and didn't seem particularly crowded. We also did not stay out at night too late. Keeping him on his meds seems like a great idea too. I am sure you already thought of this, but don't try to do too much! I am sure you'll hear from other folks with great ideas too. It is funny you posted this as I almost posted a similar thread this morning, about how many meltdowns folks kids have., but didn't yet. BTW you didn't make your son sound at all like a brat, just a little guy with a few extra issues, and we allllll have those!

 

[jorodopo]

Our DS9 has been diagnosed with ADD, some OCD, receptive NVLD and some other things that I still haven't really figured out. I wouldn't use anger to describe his meltdowns, it is more of a frustration/sadness/world is going to end/nobody cares about me kind of thing. We talk ahead of time and kind of let him plan what he thinks we should do if he melts down. Last visit he decided that he wanted to lay down on the nearest bench for 13 minutes. He stared at the seconds going on his watch and it really helped to calm him down. The guidance counselor at school gave him a stress "ball" that is in the shape of a train (this way he wouldn't be tempted to throw it at anyone). I think one of the reasons this might work is because it is from someone who isn't there when he has gotten upset so it kind of distracts him from who he is upset with. Another time he decided to count things. We happened to be in a bathroom and he ended up counting how many tiles made up the wall.
Please feel free to pm me if you want/need to vent or talk about it. We love our kids and it is so hard not to be able to make them feel better immediately. Not to mention being able to do so and keep all the other family members happy at the same time.
Have a great trip.
Joanne

 

[Blondiex46]

the twins have ADHD, ODD and intermittent explosive disorder (one of them took off a couple of years ago and in trying to get him I slipped and flew head first into the metal arcade game at all star sports totally blowing my wrist out to where I needed surgery )..7 pins and a metal bar later I go back with him again.

Every time we go it there are problems, he takes off, gets lost (last year for 3 hours)has walkie talkies and won't put the station on.

Now many people would say why go, well I wouldn't go anywhere (and don't unless they want to) they are getting better getting older, but are physically, verbally and emotionally abusive..

I know where you are, just have to remember that they have no control over themselves and it is a mental illness.

So here I go again, who knows what this trip will bring. My daughter and her boyfriend is going so that will help, normally it is just me and you know people staring where they are calling me names, screaming at me..

We are not alone!! I am here to talk or listen if any of you need it

 

[FTWFAN]

Thanks everyone for posting. Some great ideas here on how to handle things. I sometimes feel so alone in dealing with him and it helps to hear how other people handle similar situations. So, thanks again for all your help!

 

[eyenjeff]

WOW!

This has been such a help in many ways! First off, my son has already been diagnosed with ADHD and is on multiple medications. He also has a component of OCD for which he is also medicated for. He has been on meds since 4 years old and will be 7 next week. He was a premie, only 1 pound 7 oz when he was born, and his BIOLOGICAL mother, ( he is adopted) exposed him to cocaine and alcohol and smoking, so he has had a rough start.

I took him to WDW last year by myself, ( at the time, I was a single mom, I have since gotton married). It was our dream trip I had been saving for since the adoption. We went for 12 days and for the most part had a ball. we did it BIG, stayed at the Wilderness lodge and did all the character breakfasts, fantasmic , MNSSHP, we were even there for Halloween and went trick or treating at WDW! There was never a NO you cant have that, it was a totally permissive trip. I planned it that way. It was a once in a lifetime extravagance.

The hard part about it was, One I was alone with him, and he decided to have multiple meltdowns all over the world. Nothing precipated them, I never knew when they were coming. We would have good days, and then horrible days. We could have a good day and then poof out of nowhere we would have a major meltdown and have to return to the hotel, which was usually the worst part of the meltdown, trying to get back while he is screaming at me. HE would be screaming at me on the ferry back to the WL and telling what a horrible mother I was, how he hated me, how mean I was, and usually hitting or kicking or some other kind of abuse. I never knew how to handle it, I was mortified and did not make eye contact with anyone, for fear they would think I was crazy. Im sure they all thought...Oh my God, what a brat, how can that lady let her son act like that? On the contrary, I am a pretty strict parent and require respect and good behavior. Usually when he is good, he is very good, polite, respectful and in fact I often get compliments on his behavior and his politeness etc... There were sometimes when I considered taking him to the ER because I could not control him. The worst part was that I was alone, and had no one to help me. Eventually he would snap out of it as fast as it came on. I was in touch with his neurologist who adjusted his meds while we were there, but it takes time for them to kick in.

We made it through the trip, with mostly great memories, I always try to remember how far he has come from his beginnings.

Now we are leaving in 14 days for our next trip, staying at the WL again( love that place), for our family honeymoon. I got married in Sept. and went on a reg honeymoon with my husband for 2 weeks. My son stayed with my parents and was great for them. We promised him if he was good while we were gone, that we would take this trip to WDW to celebrate our beginning as a FAMILY! he was so excited and lived up to his part of the bargain. So we leave on Nov 30th and stay til Dec 6th. This time going to MVMCP and the candlelight processional. I have a special surprise planned for him and my husband at MK through gifts of a lifetime, where he will meet Mickey Mouse, go on a scavenger hunt and at the end he will receive a present to commerate our trip. We are also going to celebrate his 7th bday while we are there, his bday is the 22nd, but we can celebrate it again there. This trip is again all ablut him, and I hope we can make it through without any major meltdowns.

He has been having more and more of them lately here at home, and we are going to start counseling for him this week. I was reading the above replies, and first heard about ODD. I looked it up and boy! does that sound like him. I will take the info with us when we go this week and see what they think. I am so greatful that i read this board, because it has given me a feeling that we are not alone in this world with these children. Sometimes I feel like my child is the only one who behaves this way, and I feel that I am doing something wrong in my parenting to make him this way. It is very discouraging when he is having one of these meltdowns, and I am in public and dont know what to do.

If anyone has any ideas on how to handle these meltdowns while at WDW, in case they happen, i would appreciate any help. At least this time, I will have my husband with me for help. My son, loves and adores him, so he is a postive influence on him.

We are very excited about this trip and cant wait to CELEBRATE all of our happiness of the past year.

Thanks for listening and for any advice anyone may have!