Alligator Roadkill Was Just The Beginning!!! Updated 2nd May!!

[cheekypoppins]

OMG eeek I'm nervous now YIKERZZZZ

 

[rachel09985]

Oh my I can not believe you seriously drove 45 hours to disney world!!! That does not sound like fun!!!

I am here for the rest. You are hilarious!!

 

[Aussiesalad]

OMG eeek I'm nervous now YIKERZZZZ

You should be!!

Oh my I can not believe you seriously drove 45 hours to disney world!!! That does not sound like fun!!!

I am here for the rest. You are hilarious!!

Looking back, I can't believe we did either!
It was an adventure that's for sure!!

Hooray!!! Hope you enjoy the rest

 

[LisaKeys]

I am SO enjoying this TR!!! I don't drink coffee, I have done a straight drive thru (26 hours - but it was only me driving), but I get slap happy so easily - so I am laughing hysterically at many of your posts!

I can't even imagine the interrogation and the dogs, and the mud, and the smell - ugh. Discrimination I tell you; while someone in a nice luxury car dressed very nicely drove through with their thousands of drug money nicely lining their pockets.

Hoping you can update soon. I feel like I've been traveling for days and am looking forward to seeing where you stayed offsite, and the fun I know you're about to experience at WDW.

Read you soon!

 

[Aussiesalad]

Thanks guys for the lovely feedback on my roadtrippy-delirious-overlycaffeinated-desperately-needing-sleep pictures!
Josh gave me an ipad a while ago and it becomes my drawing pad on roadtrips.
I don't always draw like a 3 year old... well ok...maybe I do (you'll never know)
Anyway I will include a few more along the way... they may be a bit off topic, but it gives you a nice insight into our crazy roadtripping state of mind.

So I would like to start of this chapter by explaining a bit about holidays when I was young and also my driving history (wow that sentence even sounded dull when I wrote it, I promise I will keep it quick!)
This is due to most peoples horrified reactions when I explain the next part of the journey.
So when we were young my parents would drive us up the coast each school break to stay in...well for lack of better words, a trailer park.
Now let me firstly explain that in Australia, and I believe England, they are actually a normal place to spend holiday.... My memories are of beachy classy laid back coastal towns not inter-family breeding and missing teeth.
Now on these trips, right from the tender age of four I was the one appointed to keep the driver awake. This is due to the fact I am hyperactive most of the time and have always had far too much energy than I know what to do with. Something about sitting in car for hours and hours actually makes me feel super excited and awake and almost vibrate with energy (unfortunately for my parents, going to bed also had the same effect on me) So I would chat and sing and tell stories to the parent driving, while the other parent and my older brother and sister would sleep. Sometimes we would drive the whole day and part of the night and I would just be hyperactively chatting away nonstop the entire time.
When I turned 17 I got my full license and I started planning roadtrips immediately. I would drive for days at a time, usually to see bands play in the next state, or friends, or just for a way to spend a school break. Through these many roadtrips I learnt pretty quickly my driving limits. I remember one trip when I was 18 I was driving through the night and I felt like I had reached my limit for the night so I pulled off the highway into a small town. Now I didn’t know this town at all so I thought it would be safer to park in someones driveway- rather than just on the street.
So I pulled into the driveway of a super nice house and set my alarm on my phone for 5am (it was about 3am at the time)
However hours later I woke up to someone tapping on the window….I rubbed my eyes and sat up, the sun was up in full force and I had somehow slept until 11am. There were kids playing in the yard around my car and a man watering the garden. His wife tapped on my window and asked if I was alright, we then had such an awkward conversation. I just sort of mumbled something about how I thought they had a nice house so I wanted to admire it and then fell asleep. She mmm’ed and nodded in a sort of ‘oh dear this poor girl is crazy’ way. Then I backed out of the driveway quite quickly and went back on my way, feeling lucky they didn’t call the police.
Anyways OFF TOPIC

So I know my driving limits is the moral of the story.
Or so I thought….


Chapter Six

A Shower Raffle and I AM GOING TO DIE!!!!!


So I hope you excuse the fuzzy details to follow, this is the chapter when the days of no sleep and caffeine all caught up with us.
So after our wonderful round of trust falls we kept driving all the while seriously doubting Brigette’s credibility.
It was pitch black so there are no glorious selfies taken but we looked like this..

and this...

(just for the record we usually look like this)

We stopped at a gas station about 3 hours away from Orlando?
We had, at this stage of the trip, experienced a wide variety of gas stations and the bathrooms that went with them. There are some DISGUSTING places out there on highway 10 by the way.
So we pulled into this massive gas station/rest stop and it was so incredibly lovely we were quite blown away.
Firstly it was clean (ooooooh) and well lit (ahhhhh) And there were NO murderer types in sight-10 points
Second it had a huge variety of food, that wasn’t just 15 day old hotdogs or nasty processed old pastry things-20 points
This place had FRUIT and OATMEAL/PORRIDGE.
And finally, this place even had clean, working showers!!!-100 million points! Now we didn’t even use the showers but still we were so impressed. So what we gathered if people wanted a shower they would have to get a number from the register and they could go and eat or do whatever and they would call out numbers once a shower was free. Sort of like a shower ‘fast pass’, to beat those inconvenient shower lines… hilarious!
As you could tell by the Conan trust fall story, we were not exactly in a sane state of mind. The shower numbers being called out became the most hilarious thing and in no time we were doubled over on the gas station floor (once again, quite thankful that is was clean there) Soon the numbers had evolved to a raffle?? This was because they were not being called out in order so every time a number was called one of us would announce ‘Has won a meat tray’ (no this does not make sense now and I am fairly sure it didn’t then either) And then Bingo? Yes we were shouting ‘BINGO’ everytime they called out a number… This then turned into a game of marco polo we started with a few other sleep deprived roadtrippers in the gas station at the time. This was, hands down, the BEST stop we had experienced so far!

At this point I remember being in pain from laughing at the shower raffle, bingo, fastpass line and so it was time to keep going.
I quickly scoffed 2 containers of oatmeal (hmmmm?) and grabbed a redbull for the road. It was our last stop! Next stop DISNEY! Excitement ahoy!!!!

So far I had been of the mindset that because I was doing 90% of the driving, red bull would surely be my best friend forever and the more I had the better all aspects of my life would be. This was fairly true until I hit my wall. Now I have quite a lot of caffiene in my life on a regular basis. I actually wrote a love song about coffee ages ago that you can watch on youtube here…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcXC6gHnS70
I love it and it loves me. I know it's not great for me so I cut it out for months at a time. But we always end up in each others embrace, like forbidden lovers....every time.
Anyway this trip I experienced a caffeine crash like no other. I mean nothing could have prepared me for this. At some ungodly hour of the morning we were less than 2 hours from Disney when suddenly the road started to spin and my whole world got fuzzy. I felt hot and cold all at once. My toes itched and my hands shook. My face felt numb and my eyes felt like they were burning. I actually felt like I was about to burst into flames or explode in a horrible caffeinated mess!!! I was dying!!! There was no doubt about it in my mind. Everyone was asleep. There was absolutely no cars around, the highway was deserted.
I slammed on my brakes and screamed at the top of my lungs
"IM GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE".
Well this woke the others up quite efficiently.
IMGOINGTODIEIMGOINGTODIEIMGOINGTODIEIMGOINGTODIE!!!!!!!!
ARhflkywlizwqurywklfytwyqlphfkly!!!!!!

Josh coaxed me to pull into the upcoming rest stop on the side of the road so he could take over. At said rest stop I dramatically opened the door and crumpled onto the ground in a pile of disorientation and refused to get up. At least that's what the others told me. It's all a blur. Now before anyone tells me the dangers of what I did. I know this whole caffiene overload was not the best idea and I have well and truly learnt my lesson. So Josh drove the last 2 hours and I curled up and slept like a baby in the back until we pulled into our holiday house complex... Everyone cheered and it was the BEST feeling! We had made it!!!! Arrgggggh so excited to be there....and for a shower and bed.... Ok at that point it was mainly the last two. But so much excitement!!!! We were finally there!!!!

….Or were we?


No…no we were not...


To Be Continued

 

[cheekypoppins]

OMG so not good,but it's a bit funny that you yelled that cause i woulda done the same thing!!!! but omg girl ,eek I'm glad you're okay though and your drawings are the best!!!

 

[jedijill]

OMG, I am rolling at the picture of you guys at the truck stop and then your caffeine overload. Glad you guys made it to Orlando in one piece.

Jill in CO

 

[glennbo123]

Wow, your coffee song is really good! What a pretty melody!

My favorite line is of this chapter was "Number ##....has won a meat tray".

I'm glad you survived your caffeine overload, but what's with this cliffhanger??!

 

[Backstage_Gal]

You are so funny, love your report. I gather you did not die after all, whew!

Marita

 

[bombshellz]

Omg. I'm only on chapter 1 and already I'm choking with laughter! Moth City sounds disgusting...you poor thing! Diving in to read the rest right now. This is gonna be good!


Ok, I'm caught up. Loving your road trip singalongs!

You leave us in such suspense! Please, please, please be OK for disney!

 

[laura74]

You know what doesn’t help power naps? Wet dog smelling pillows…
Yeah still a little bitter about that whole ordeal.

I’m still bitter about it too!

I was awoken by the smell of exhaust and also the fact my legs were dripping wet with freezing water!?! I woke up in such a state of confusion it took me a while to process what was going on. I was conscious enough to read a road sign which said….
HOUSTON…
WHAT?????

Sounds like that I Love Lucy episode where they keep driving and driving and keep ending up in the same hole in the wall spot. Do you get those reruns there?

Yeahhhh it took a couple of minutes before it hit us- we looked terrible… really terrible. We all had oily skin, greasy crazy hair, gross car tripping clothes, bloodshot eyes AND I am fairly sure we had quite a pungent smell surrounding us that was a mix of car sweat and wet dog. And we were quite hyperactive and hysterical due to the lack of sleep and amounts of caffeine.
So yeah, that was most likely why we were attracting stares.

LOL

Well…that wasn’t the ladies. It was only a few steps in when I literally crashed into a truck driver. He let off a high pitched yelp, but in a manly truck driverish way and I full out screamed in his face. Then we both stood there for a second before I slowly backed out of the door and turned back towards the ladies.

I think you need one of your illustrations for this!

It was really pretty BUT the animals from this water seemed to be on some sort of suicidal mission as they seemed to be literally crawling out of the water and onto the road. Like the old school video game with the frog crossing the road…Froggit? We saw some tires on the road ahead and went to swerve. Then they stuck their heads out...turtles??? Just chillin in the middle of a 6 lane freeway. BRAKKEEEE!!! It literally was a turtle suicide pact or that’s at least what it felt like.

On our way back from Virginia last weekend, we were stopped at a light and a little mouse was making his way across a 6-lane highway. I’d never seen that before. Well, it’s not turtles and alligators, but it’s all I’ve got.

So we pulled over and switched and then continued down this road (aka turtle suicide alley) trying to keep to casualties to a minimum. We drove along with Tim and I chatting the front and Bek and Josh sleeping in the back. Suddenly something caught both of our eyes on the road ahead, as we went past it I couldn’t believe my eyes. What the heck? "Was that an alligator????" Tim screamed "yes!!!!!!" I screamed back.
Just picture this guy- but halved.

Ew!

We decided drinking a large slushhee/slurpee type drink would be the best way to cool down. This quickly escalated into a good old ‘girls vs boys’ battle to chug as fast as we could. Now this is all very well and good, except when you have 4 hours until the next toilet break.

Uh oh.

He let us in and it was a magical moment. I have never been happier to see a disgusting rarely cleaned gas station bathroom EVER!

LOL. I think we’ve all been there at one time or another.

Now here is Australia we have very few tv stations…it’s quite sad compared to what you guys have!
We literally have 5… so whatever is on, we generally watch.

So I guess you actually, like have to talk to each other??!!

Well caffiented lack-of-sleep Sally found it a hilarious idea and proceeded to pull over and encouraged (read forcebly made ) everyone to have a nice session of trust falls… So there we were, a dirty truck stop on highway 10… falling blindly into each others arms.

If you don’t find this amusing that is perfectly normal
Go and have 70 cups of coffee and sit in your car for the next 3 days…

Amusing even without the coffee.

When I turned 17 I got my full license and I started planning roadtrips immediately. I would drive for days at a time, usually to see bands play in the next state, or friends, or just for a way to spend a school break. Through these many roadtrips I learnt pretty quickly my driving limits. I remember one trip when I was 18 I was driving through the night and I felt like I had reached my limit for the night so I pulled off the highway into a small town. Now I didn’t know this town at all so I thought it would be safer to park in someones driveway- rather than just on the street.
So I pulled into the driveway of a super nice house and set my alarm on my phone for 5am (it was about 3am at the time)
However hours later I woke up to someone tapping on the window….I rubbed my eyes and sat up, the sun was up in full force and I had somehow slept until 11am. There were kids playing in the yard around my car and a man watering the garden. His wife tapped on my window and asked if I was alright, we then had such an awkward conversation. I just sort of mumbled something about how I thought they had a nice house so I wanted to admire it and then fell asleep. She mmm’ed and nodded in a sort of ‘oh dear this poor girl is crazy’ way. Then I backed out of the driveway quite quickly and went back on my way, feeling lucky they didn’t call the police.

You were 17 when you were doing this? Your poor parents. LOL

And finally, this place even had clean, working showers!!!- 100 million points! Now we didn’t even use the showers but still we were so impressed. So what we gathered if people wanted a shower they would have to get a number from the register and they could go and eat or do whatever and they would call out numbers once a shower was free. Sort of like a shower ‘fast pass’, to beat those inconvenient shower lines… hilarious!

Never heard of that. Interesting!

As you could tell by the Conan trust fall story, we were not exactly in a sane state of mind. The shower numbers being called out became the most hilarious thing and in no time we were doubled over on the gas station floor (once again, quite thankful that is was clean there) Soon the numbers had evolved to a raffle?? This was because they were not being called out in order so every time a number was called one of us would announce ‘Has won a meat tray’ (no this does not make sense now and I am fairly sure it didn’t then either) And then Bingo? Yes we were shouting ‘BINGO’ everytime they called out a number… This then turned into a game of marco polo we started with a few other sleep deprived roadtrippers in the gas station at the time. This was, hands down, the BEST stop we had experienced so far!

LOL

Anyway this trip I experienced a caffeine crash like no other. I mean nothing could have prepared me for this. At some ungodly hour of the morning we were less than 2 hours from Disney when suddenly the road started to spin and my whole world got fuzzy. I felt hot and cold all at once. My toes itched and my hands shook. My face felt numb and my eyes felt like they were burning. I actually felt like I was about to burst into flames or explode in a horrible caffeinated mess!!! I was dying!!! There was no doubt about it in my mind. Everyone was asleep. There was absolutely no cars around, the highway was deserted.
I slammed on my brakes and screamed at the top of my lungs
"IM GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE".
Well this woke the others up quite efficiently.
IMGOINGTODIEIMGOINGTODIEIMGOINGTODIEIMGOINGTODIE!!!!!!!!
ARhflkywlizwqurywklfytwyqlphfkly!!!!!!

That sounds scary. I’ve never had caffeine overload like that.

Josh coaxed me to pull into the upcoming rest stop on the side of the road so he could take over. At said rest stop I dramatically opened the door and crumpled onto the ground in a pile of disorientation and refused to get up. At least that's what the others told me. It's all a blur. Now before anyone tells me the dangers of what I did. I know this whole caffiene overload was not the best idea and I have well and truly learnt my lesson. So Josh drove the last 2 hours and I curled up and slept like a baby in the back until we pulled into our holiday house complex... Everyone cheered and it was the BEST feeling! We had made it!!!! Arrgggggh so excited to be there....and for a shower and bed.... Ok at that point it was mainly the last two. But so much excitement!!!! We were finally there!!!!

….Or were we?


No…no we were not...

Another cliffhanger?

Great chapters!!

 

[marDgreen88]

SHOWER BINGO! I want to play!

Your caffeine overload sounds terrifying! Oh my goodness. (Btw I love your coffee song. )

Still not there?!

 

[eandesmom]

Thank you for more than one serious coffee spewing moments this morning! Which while a bit of a wasate of such a lovely beverage was so worth it!

Shower raffles, meat trays...dying.

You spinning and crumbling to the ground. Not so good.

on the illustrations, far better than any photo's could have captured it. I want to see them all together when you are done, like a flip book. It'd be a riot and a half!

 

[SoNotAPrincess]

I love your coffee song and have made my BF, BFF, niece, sister and favorite co-worker watch it. Soon you will be the YouTube sensation you should be!!

Wow...just wow. Caffeine crash is never fun, but your telling of it certainly is funny! I'm so glad you're finally in Orlando....what could possibly go wrong now?!?!?

Don't keep us hanging!!

 

[__disneygirl]

DSJAFHSKDJFHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD. I cracked up at your story about sleeping in some random family's driveway. You are crazy, and I mean that in a totally good way. hahahahaha omg.

Yay for a murderer-free rest stop! I am admiring your drawing right now... lovely!

You... are killing me. This is one of the most entertaining TRs I've ever read and you aren't even in Disney yet. Please keep the hilarity, insanity, and fabulous drawings coming! That one of you having an IMGOINGTODIEEE attack while driving seriously belongs in the Louvre.

 

[Aussiesalad]

I am SO enjoying this TR!!! I don't drink coffee, I have done a straight drive thru (26 hours - but it was only me driving), but I get slap happy so easily - so I am laughing hysterically at many of your posts!

Thanks so much!!
Woah that is very far especially without coffee!! Me too! I laugh at wayyyy too much ridiculous stuff!

I can't even imagine the interrogation and the dogs, and the mud, and the smell - ugh. Discrimination I tell you; while someone in a nice luxury car dressed very nicely drove through with their thousands of drug money nicely lining their pockets.

Exactly!! They are going to feel mighty silly when they realize all the real drug dealers that drove past while the focused on us!!
Ughhh it always happens though doesn't it? Last month I was at the airport and they chose my bag for the random search and then had to stop halfway because the woman behind me HAD A BOW AND ARROW IN HER BAG!!!

Hoping you can update soon. I feel like I've been traveling for days and am looking forward to seeing where you stayed offsite, and the fun I know you're about to experience at WDW.

Our accomodation is coming up very soon And there is lots more fun in store I promise!

OMG so not good,but it's a bit funny that you yelled that cause i woulda done the same thing!!!! but omg girl ,eek I'm glad you're okay though and your drawings are the best!!!

Haha at times like that all you can do is scream!!!
Thanks! They are a bit ridiculous but they'll do!

OMG, I am rolling at the picture of you guys at the truck stop and then your caffeine overload. Glad you guys made it to Orlando in one piece.

Jill in CO

Thanks!! I'm so glad too! We had a lot of close calls

Wow, your coffee song is really good! What a pretty melody!

Awhh thank you!!! That is so nice of you to say

My favorite line is of this chapter was "Number ##....has won a meat tray".

It was pretty funny, for us at least!!

I'm glad you survived your caffeine overload, but what's with this cliffhanger??!

I'm pretty glad myself... not the best idea I have had
The cliffhanger is necessary because what happens next is so excruciatingly painful- I wanted you guys to feel some of the pain!

You are so funny, love your report. I gather you did not die after all, whew!

Marita

Awh thanks!! No I did not die... I just had wayyyyy too much caffeine!!

Omg. I'm only on chapter 1 and already I'm choking with laughter! Moth City sounds disgusting...you poor thing! Diving in to read the rest right now. This is gonna be good!

Welcome!!
It was so gross!!! They were seriously everywhere ICK!

Ok, I'm caught up. Loving your road trip singalongs!

It's really not a roadtrip unless there is an excessive amount of singalongs!!!

You leave us in such suspense! Please, please, please be OK for disney!

I'm so cruel aren't I? Trust me it was necessary so you could experience the horrible..ness of what came next

 

[Aussiesalad]

I’m still bitter about it too!

Mmmm might take a while to get over that one...

Sounds like that I Love Lucy episode where they keep driving and driving and keep ending up in the same hole in the wall spot. Do you get those reruns there?

Yes we do!! Thank goodness, and I totally know the episode you mean!!

I think you need one of your illustrations for this!

I'm sure I have one somewhere!

On our way back from Virginia last weekend, we were stopped at a light and a little mouse was making his way across a 6-lane highway. I’d never seen that before. Well, it’s not turtles and alligators, but it’s all I’ve got.

Oh no! poor little mousie!! Did he make it ok?

Ew!

Big ew! It was NOT pretty!


So I guess you actually, like have to talk to each other??!!

Unfortunately!

Amusing even without the coffee.

Good to hear! Maybe I'm not completely insane

You were 17 when you were doing this? Your poor parents. LOL

Yeahhh they were pretty lucky to get me I should tell you the story of the time I faked a broken arm for 6 weeks to everyone including my parents.
Or perhaps when I backed a car into the house? Such a golden child...

Never heard of that. Interesting!

Me either but it is a great idea! You should be able to fastpass all aspects of life!

That sounds scary. I’ve never had caffeine overload like that.

You don't want one, trust me! Just don't drink 300 coffees while you drive nonstop for 46 hours and you will be fine

Another cliffhanger?

Yes- but this next chapter deserves a build up as the events were just so horrible!!

Great chapters!!

Thanks!!

 

[Aussiesalad]

SHOWER BINGO! I want to play!

I know right! Best gas station everrrr!!

Your caffeine overload sounds terrifying! Oh my goodness. (Btw I love your coffee song. )

It was sooo scary! Seriously the most insane feeling ever!!
Thank you so much!!!

Still not there?!

I know!!!

Thank you for more than one serious coffee spewing moments this morning! Which while a bit of a wasate of such a lovely beverage was so worth it!

I hear that is the best way to start the day! Everyone loves a good spit take

Shower raffles, meat trays...dying.

I tell you, the place had everything!!

You spinning and crumbling to the ground. Not so good.

Nope... not my finest hour at all

on the illustrations, far better than any photo's could have captured it. I want to see them all together when you are done, like a flip book. It'd be a riot and a half!

What a great idea!! I might have to print them out and do that!!

I love your coffee song and have made my BF, BFF, niece, sister and favorite co-worker watch it. Soon you will be the YouTube sensation you should be!!

That is so so sweet I'm so glad you enjoyed it!!

Wow...just wow. Caffeine crash is never fun, but your telling of it certainly is funny! I'm so glad you're finally in Orlando....what could possibly go wrong now?!?!?

Not fun at all-I learnt my lesson the hard way
Ahhhh it was so good to finally be there!!!

Don't keep us hanging!!

I'm sorry!! It's just the next bit is sooo awful it needs it's own chapter!

DSJAFHSKDJFHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD. I cracked up at your story about sleeping in some random family's driveway. You are crazy, and I mean that in a totally good way. hahahahaha omg.

Ahhhhh oh god it was soooo awkward!! I still remember that conversation sooo clearly! At least I gave that family a good story to tell?
All good Lia- I will take that in a good way and embrace my crazy self with open arms!

Yay for a murderer-free rest stop! I am admiring your drawing right now... lovely!

I know! That is my favourite kind of rest stop!!
Yes.. I am quite the artisté

You... are killing me. This is one of the most entertaining TRs I've ever read and you aren't even in Disney yet. Please keep the hilarity, insanity, and fabulous drawings coming! That one of you having an IMGOINGTODIEEE attack while driving seriously belongs in the Louvre.

Awwh thanks!! I find your TRs the most hilarious things in the world so that is a big compliment
Don't worry, the hilarity, insanity and ridiculous drawings keep coming hard and fast. It was SUCH a crazy week there!!
Yes totally a masterpiece... it will be my legacy....

 

[danimaroo]

Seriously, still the most entertaining TR ever, and you're not even there yet. Bahahaha, I laughed at the meat tray and BINGO! It's still funny, even when not sleep-deprived.

Your caffeine meltdown sounds kind of terrible.. no wait, really terrible... and I never want to experience that!

Can't wait for your next update, because this is quite a cliffhanger!

 

[shan23877]

Hilarious update! I love the mental image (and illustration of course) of you guys in the heavenly truck stop! The meat tray line has to be my favorite!

OMG what a scary reaction to the caffeine! I'm like you-consuming caffeinated drinks from morning to night-and nothing like that has ever come close to happening to me!

So glad to hear that you were safely in Orlando, and I'm thinking that if the journey was this much fun to read about, then the WDW stuff is gonna be amazing. Can't wait to hear about all the tomfoolery you crazy kids got into.