Advice on introducing a new sport to 11 year old

[slo]

I just read your OP again, and I would seriously consider asking her if she would have any interest a drama club. Even if she doesn't want to act, she can be involved with wardrobe, makeup, sound, props, lights and etc. With her being artistic, she may really enjoy it.

My 17yr old went from competitive travel and HS soccer to the drama dept and she loves it.
She doesn't get the exercise she did before, but it doesn't matter to me as long as she's doing something she loves.

This same DD still does enjoy playing sports recreationally, and your DD may too. She likes to play basketball in the driveway with her sister, she likes to kick the soccer ball around with her friends and other things. Some people don't like playing competitve sports - they just like to goof off with them, which is ok.

I get flack because my youngest just plays softball, and others feel she should play multiple sports.
She doesn't want to play multiple sports competitivly, but she does love to play multiple sports recreationally - like in the driveway, backyard and such. So she does that and she's happy. Her softball is her main priority and I'm ok with that.

Good luck with all this - it'll all work out

 

[mom2rtk]

Why does it have to be sports? We only told our kids they need to be involved in one extracurricular activity each year once they got to high school. Didn't have to be sports, although one of our kids chose a variety of sports and our daughter (entering high school next year) is leaning that way. Our older son was on the Scholar Bowl team. I would have loved for one of them to be on the debate team, but it wasn't about what I wanted.

My husband coached a fair number of rec league teams through the years. We noticed around middle school lots of very talented kids started dropping out of various sports. Our observation was that too many parents started taking it all way too seriously, and it ceased to be fun for the kids. My husband coached so we could keep the kids friends playing together..... and keep it fun.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Since she likes to swim, see if you can talk her into swim team. My non-athlete does that now. That & bowling.

 

[bsblady01]

do they have club teams in her middle school. I know here they have club teams starting in 6th grade. if her friends are on the team she will want to try it.

 

[SEA333]

Why does it have to be sports? We only told our kids they need to be involved in one extracurricular activity each year once they got to high school. Didn't have to be sports, although one of our kids chose a variety of sports and our daughter (entering high school next year) is leaning that way. Our older son was on the Scholar Bowl team. I would have loved for one of them to be on the debate team, but it wasn't about what I wanted.

My husband coached a fair number of rec league teams through the years. We noticed around middle school lots of very talented kids started dropping out of various sports. Our observation was that too many parents started taking it all way too seriously, and it ceased to be fun for the kids. My husband coached so we could keep the kids friends playing together..... and keep it fun.

It doesn't *have* to be a sport, ultimately, although like you, we feel it is important for our kids to be involved in *something* each year. I would like at least one of those things to be something active. As a teen, one of the best ways for this to happen is to play a school sport, but I get it that there are other ways to get in exercise, too. She is going to do what she is going to do eventually, but my point here today is that I wanted idea and been there/done that comments from people with kids her age and older that have been at this type of crossroad with their kids, and how they handled it.

In true DIS fashion, there always has to be someone to spin it in another direction (not you!) That's OK...I expected that!

 

[Dizneefamily+4]

My ds14 just tried tennis for the 1st time as an 8th grader (tennis starts in middle school, so you can start taking it as a 6th grader here) and loved it! It was very laid-back and easygoing. I know a lot of his friends just started taking volleyball too, but that's more competitive.

 

[mom2rtk]

It doesn't *have* to be a sport, ultimately, although like you, we feel it is important for our kids to be involved in *something* each year. I would like at least one of those things to be something active. As a teen, one of the best ways for this to happen is to play a school sport, but I get it that there are other ways to get in exercise, too. She is going to do what she is going to do eventually, but my point here today is that I wanted idea and been there/done that comments from people with kids her age and older that have been at this type of crossroad with their kids, and how they handled it.

In true DIS fashion, there always has to be someone to spin it in another direction (not you!) That's OK...I expected that!

Well, I think we all bring to the table what we have experienced in our own lives. And when my husband was coaching our boys, we really saw our share of parents and other coaches pushing too hard.

I can appreciate that you are trying hard not to be one of "those" parents. I hope she finds something to be passionate about.

11 is still pretty young though. She might even need a year to veg out and *miss* being part of something.

I look forward to seeing you post later that your daughter found something she wants to try.

 

[mom2rtk]

My ds14 just tried tennis for the 1st time as an 8th grader (tennis starts in middle school, so you can start taking it as a 6th grader here) and loved it! It was very laid-back and easygoing. I know a lot of his friends just started taking volleyball too, but that's more competitive.

Our son turned to tennis as a junior when he got frustrated with the cross country and track coach at our high school. He loved it and never looked back. He was new to the sport but found it much more laid-back and enjoyable.

Our daughter has been playing volleyball for a couple years now, but after spending some time working out with the high school girls this summer, she's considering switching to tennis as well.

 

[cabanafrau]

Would you want someone telling YOU you had to try something, even if you didn't want to? Come on, you'll love exotic car repair if you just give it a chance. No, let her make up her own mind. You're starting to sound like a dance mom...

Hey, dance moms are people too.

 

[scrapquitler]

DD just turned 11 on Sunday, She will be in 6th grade in the fall. She is very artistic (her talent and passion), but is having a hard time finding a physical activity that she can do going into high school and middle school. She has tried t-ball, soccer, dance class, gymnastics, tumbling, and cheer. I was a basketball player and have tried to teach her how to play basketball. She likes to swim.

I am struggling with what to do next with her. She does competitive cheer from Aug-Dec every year, and she likes it. She does not LOVE it. She needs to do more tumbling if she wants to try out for cheer in high school, but she goes to tumbling class and comes out in tears because she hit a plateau last year, stopped trying, and everyone else her age has progressed. Now she is embarrassed that she does not have the tumbling skills everyone else has. Yet she still refuses to try harder. She has been doing this sport since she was in 1st grade, and although she picks up choreography and does well in the routine, she doesn't stand out - because SHE doesn't want to.

OK, so maybe she is done with cheer, right? I told her she doesn't have to do it anymore, but she says she wants to. She really does like some parts of it....especially the performances.

Dance has been hit or miss...she was never really in it long enough or spent enough time to really get good at it. A few classes every other year or so. But they don't offer dance as a sport in HS anyway.

She hated t-ball and has no interest in softball. Same with soccer. She loves her swim lessons, but keeps saying she doesn't want to be on a team. Same with basketball. She enjoys shooting around, but by 6th grade, most girls who are going to "move on" in the sport have played since they were little in our feeder league (our high school is a HUGE basketball school...we send kids to D1 colleges every year), so the girls have to try out for the team. Unless you have been on the travel feeder teams, a new kid to the sport has little chance.

What else is there???!! She is very competitive and always needs to be the BEST, or she will shut down and not try. We have tried the "who cares what anyone thinks, just do your best" talks and got nowhere. She thinks everyone is staring at her. Funny, though, that she is the loudest cheerleader on our team, and has no problem performing in stadiums, in front of her team, at competitions in arenas, etc. But god forbid she misses a shot at the park in front of someone she knows from school!

So, any experience in starting a new sport/team at this "late" age? I was kind of thinking tennis or golf....and DH says we need to push her to try out for the swim team. She is so built for swimming: long lean legs and arms, strong shoulders, the works. But again, most of the kids have been on a swim team for years by this age.

Some people may ask why this is so important? The reason is, DD can be very reserved and introverted. I see it getting worse as she gets older. I want her to stay involved in school and school activities because it is proven that kids who are invested in their school do better and have a better time while they are going there. I want her to have fun and enjoy her teen years, not be the one who hates school and cannot wait to leave it. I'm sure she will be involved with the art program and other creative outlets, but it is also important to be physically healthy and get a lot of exercise too, which is hard to do if you are not playing a sport.

ETA: The bolded above initially said "Mandate" - a poster called that out as a concern. I have changed it to push her, for reasons stated in my below response.

How about running, or track & field? Maybe tennis, playing a 'sport' and getting excercise doesn't necessarily mean being on a team or in a group activity. She could just go to the gym, walk, run, maybe do some zumba or aerobics, skiing, biking, hiking, etc that are more individual. Our local park & rec also offers fencing, karate, rock climbing and a few things like that which promote activity, but aren't competitive team type things.

 

[CPT Tripss]

Hey, dance moms are people too.

I don't know about that.

 

[jrmasm]

What does she want to try?

 

[CPT Tripss]

Again, unless you swam and understand it, please don't push her into that sport. Casual rec swimming or a fun rec team is one thing, but competitive swimming is another monster and unless it's something she is really into, it is too much of a commitment to expect from her.

ITA that competitive swimming can become almost overwhelming. Been there, done that with DD.

Fortunately, she started in a summer rec program with a coach that knew technique was the key to success. After a couple years she moved to a low key program, did well and then decided she wanted to move to a national level local program. That is when the commitment became a beast. But by then she, and we, knew she was ready.

If OP's kid is going to swim, now is the time to find the right program for a newbie that will teach her the basics, provide competition but not wear her down. That's tough to find in the weeks remaining before possible tryouts in July/August for a season beginning around Labor Day.

 

[Southernmiss]

There are so many clubs and activities offered in middle school/high school that I'm sure your daughter will find her niche when she gets there.

I've got 4 kids all very different interests and they've all found several things they're interested in without prodding from me.

Take a deep breath and enjoy this time before she truly gets involved in several things she loves. It goes so fast.

 

[unhinged]

DD just turned 11 on Sunday, She will be in 6th grade in the fall. She is very artistic (her talent and passion), but is having a hard time finding a physical activity that she can do going into high school and middle school. She has tried t-ball, soccer, dance class, gymnastics, tumbling, and cheer. I was a basketball player and have tried to teach her how to play basketball. She likes to swim.

I am struggling with what to do next with her. She does competitive cheer from Aug-Dec every year, and she likes it. She does not LOVE it. She needs to do more tumbling if she wants to try out for cheer in high school, but she goes to tumbling class and comes out in tears because she hit a plateau last year, stopped trying, and everyone else her age has progressed. Now she is embarrassed that she does not have the tumbling skills everyone else has. Yet she still refuses to try harder. She has been doing this sport since she was in 1st grade, and although she picks up choreography and does well in the routine, she doesn't stand out - because SHE doesn't want to.

OK, so maybe she is done with cheer, right? I told her she doesn't have to do it anymore, but she says she wants to. She really does like some parts of it....especially the performances.

Dance has been hit or miss...she was never really in it long enough or spent enough time to really get good at it. A few classes every other year or so. But they don't offer dance as a sport in HS anyway.

She hated t-ball and has no interest in softball. Same with soccer. She loves her swim lessons, but keeps saying she doesn't want to be on a team. Same with basketball. She enjoys shooting around, but by 6th grade, most girls who are going to "move on" in the sport have played since they were little in our feeder league (our high school is a HUGE basketball school...we send kids to D1 colleges every year), so the girls have to try out for the team. Unless you have been on the travel feeder teams, a new kid to the sport has little chance.

What else is there???!! She is very competitive and always needs to be the BEST, or she will shut down and not try. We have tried the "who cares what anyone thinks, just do your best" talks and got nowhere. She thinks everyone is staring at her. Funny, though, that she is the loudest cheerleader on our team, and has no problem performing in stadiums, in front of her team, at competitions in arenas, etc. But god forbid she misses a shot at the park in front of someone she knows from school!

So, any experience in starting a new sport/team at this "late" age? I was kind of thinking tennis or golf....and DH says we need to push her to try out for the swim team. She is so built for swimming: long lean legs and arms, strong shoulders, the works. But again, most of the kids have been on a swim team for years by this age.

Some people may ask why this is so important? The reason is, DD can be very reserved and introverted. I see it getting worse as she gets older. I want her to stay involved in school and school activities because it is proven that kids who are invested in their school do better and have a better time while they are going there. I want her to have fun and enjoy her teen years, not be the one who hates school and cannot wait to leave it. I'm sure she will be involved with the art program and other creative outlets, but it is also important to be physically healthy and get a lot of exercise too, which is hard to do if you are not playing a sport.

ETA: The bolded above initially said "Mandate" - a poster called that out as a concern. I have changed it to push her, for reasons stated in my below response.

You mention that she likes cheer, just not the advanced tumbling. Since you said that cheer is Aug - Dec, I am assuming you are not talking about All-star cheer which is May - April. All-star may be a good fit for her. Find an established gym that has many teams and with a level that fits her tumbling skills. If she is animated, loves the motions, dance and stunting, she could still be a star on a level that fits her tumbling skills. My daughter is on the special athlete team in her gym and is heading into her 11th year. We know so many kids in the gym that love the sport because there is a team for everyone's skill level.

My children have also been swimming since they were toddlers. All three, including my daughter, swam varsity in high school. I have to agree that it is a commitment, practicing 5x per week. If she is not interested, I would drop swimming.

 

[cabanafrau]

I don't know about that.

Oooo, looks like it's gonna be a rumble on the DIS.

Better watch yourself, I am a dance mom -- or a retired dance mom to be completely accurate.

 

[okeydokey]

Sit down together and look at the middle school website. The sports, clubs and activities should be listed there.Have her note which she may be interested in. Make a list and then she can eliminate the ones that least interest her.

Look at the high school website as well. There may be some activities in middle school that naturally feed into the high school level.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Whatever it is, she'll find it on her own. A friend will mention a sport or club, her school will announce try-outs or meetings, or she'll see something on TV that sparks an interest. The key is that she will find it. What we can do as parents is let our kids know that we will support them in whatever they decide to do. For your DD, it might be focusing on her art. And along the way, she will find new ways to use her art skills - yearbook committee, designing posters, programs, or scenery for school plays, maybe eventually working as a counselor for an art camp for younger kids. There are lots of things she can do with a talent for art.

If you want her to be physically active, make it a family thing. Go for walks or hikes together. Play catch in the yard. Go to the pool and swim for fun. She will have PE classes in middle and high school which will keep her active during the week. One day she might come to you and say she wants to try-out for a team, especially in high school where it's a big thing. In the meantime, I would let her enjoy her artwork.

 

[unhinged]

Haha....that is funny. She is a cheerleader. I am her coach. Trust me....I played lots of team sports. I was never a cheerleader. That is the last thing I ever thought, or wanted, my future kids to be. Following HER lead when she saw the girls at DS's games cheering, we let her join. She has wanted to do it ever since. Do you know what "Cheer Hair" is? I was shocked the first time I was told I need to buy it LOL

Unfortunately, and this brings us to the problem of the day here, she hurt herself when she was 6 at tumbling practice and has been scared to really give tumbling her all since then, which now puts her at risk of not being able to make a team in HS, which is what she wants to do and what she assumed she would do, and is trained for (except for the low-level tumbling thing...)

I went into coaching her team with absolutely ZERO cheerleading knowledge (we have teen coaches that plan and demo the routines), but a huge willingness to share my daughter's interests.

Back to the cheer thing since you keep mentioning that she loves it, especially the part where she says this is what she had planned to do. After reading this post, it sounds more and more like she would really benefit from a more professional organization than teens doing the choreography. Take her to a gym where the coaches are USASF certified and see how she likes it. Feel free to PM me with your general location and I can tell you if there are any good gyms in your location.

Cheerleaders who do all-star have a huge advantage in making their high school teams in most parts of the country over those that just do rec sideline/competitive.

Oh, and you don't have to buy cheer curls in all-star.

You can also youtube jr level 1 and jr level 2 routines and let her watch to see if she would like it. It is called cheer, but is very different than sideline.

 

[runwad]

What do her friends do? That to me is the biggest motivator to get a kid to do something.

My DD17 who was a JUNIOR this year tried out and made the Varsity Lacrosse team, never having played the sport before. Now granted this is the first year for the sport in our district and she is somewhat athletic (plays soccer); but when I was telling her she should try it for something to do in the spring, she didn't want anything to do with it. As soon as her friends said they were going to try out she did too. And lo and behold she really enjoys the sport and isn't half bad at it.

See what her friends are doing and see if she wants to try the activities they're doing.