OP you never gave hospice the opportunity to evaluate your father's condition while taking this medication. Maybe they would have changed the dosage. My grandmother was on haldol, it was too much for her - she was sleeping all day and not eating much. Rather then cut it out altogether there was a call made to the appropriate person and the decision to alter the dose was made. How you don't see that as the correct path to follow I dont for the life of me understand.
How long has it been since your mother fell, are you beating a dead horse in pushing unnecessary medical testing? Maybe I am incorrect but didn't you say that your mother would need to be sedated for an MRI? If her doctor felt it were necessary I am sure at some point at a follow up visit that it would have come up.
To answer your question about whether or not you need to be kept abreast of the situation with your parents I have to say that just by reading what you have been posting I would leave you out of it if you were my sister. It seems like you are all having a rough time of it and I wouldn't want you adding to my already heightened stress level. If there were an immediate need to do so such as a grave injury or illness I would certainly clue you in. Based on what you have posted on here I can only imagine how conversations with your siblings go.
Conveniently your mother's competence isn't compromised when she agrees with your actions.
Would hospice not have weaned him off the meds per doctor's instructions instead of cold turkey?
1. I didn't get a chance to give hospice the opportunity to evaluate my dad's condition while on the medication. I didn't know about hospice being called in the first place. I found out about hospice after my sister called them at the end of July. I was there in June. Neither my brother or sister let me know that hospice had been called in January. This is what I keep saying. I could have contacted hospice before I left in June instead waiting a month to contact them. They could have been in and helping out and giving my parents the care they needed prior to me leaving. As I said, my brother saw just how my mom was, how she was making herself sick with worry and he never said anything to me. He knew about hospice but let her continue to make herself sick instead of contacting them himself or having me contact them.
2. Hospice did not wean him off of any of his meds at all. They stopped everything cold turkey. According to my sister, they came in and said that he no longer needed anything.
3. After getting on the olanzaprine, my dad was found wandering the streets in the middle of the night in just his underwear twice. When he retired, his routine was to go golfing in the morning and come home for lunch. After lunch he would go for a 5 mile walk and then come home and take a nap in his chair. When he got to where he could not golf anymore, mom stopped the walk because she felt he might not find his way home. The places that he was found was on the route that he would walk everyday. He was over 2 miles from home at 3 in the morning. Before that, he never left the house at night. My mom never said that he was violent. She said he was using inappropriate language. For all anyone knew, he could have been thinking he was back at his home in PA or at one of his military assignments overseas in his mind. We don't know how he acted while overseas in Vietnam or in Turkey while on assignment by himself.
My mother has had about 6 falls over a period of 2 years. She was wearing shoes that looked like this:
Unfortunately because of the type of sole they had, she kept catching her foot on the ground. It didn't matter what type of surface, she would catch the toe of her shoe and stumble. She liked them because she could get them on easy and could wear them around the house and be comfortable. When she started getting physical therapy for her sciatica, they told her those were causing her to trip. That they were just a little too big because they were a combination size 9/10 instead of a just a 9 or a 10. As far as I know she has only told her doctor about them when she goes for a normal appointment but has never had anything else done.
As far as the "smart one, perfect one, klepto" thing, my mother has always said that my brother is perfect. It started with my sister saying something to her about her thinking he is perfect and my mom agreed. My mother is the one who said that my sister is the klepto and she said that she takes after her (my mother's) aunt. She had an aunt that used to take things from her house growing up. When I was growing up, my mother constantly told me how I was the one with the brain and never had trouble learning while my sister and brother struggled through school.
I have been out 3 times since 2014, not counting the last visit. My mom paid for the flights because she wanted me out there in 2014 while my sister was there and then wanted my dad to see his great-granddaughter in 2015 and when we ended up with unforeseen expenses and my DH & I were not going to be able to come for Christmas in 2015, she paid our flights as well as my DD & GDD's. She was already paying for them because she knew my DD could not afford it. When my brother contacted me, I was going to use my miles to book the flight, but my brother paid instead. I used my miles to come home on. My sister was there in 2014 with me, then again later in the year and then in February 2015. She is there now. Same number of visits, same length of time for each.
My mom will not move into an assisted living facility. I wish she would but she has made the decision not to and I will back her.
Just reading your posts are exhausting, I can only imagine that your siblings must feel that managing you is a job in and of itself. They've got enough on their plates without you adding to the stress.
