DisneyWorldMimi
Mimi to a new Disney Lover
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2016
My father has Azlheimer's and was diagnosed in 2013. 2014 was not too bad of a year. When I went to visit them, the first couple days he thought I was his sister. We finally got that straightened out and it was fine the rest of the visit. In 2015 my mom let me know that he was rapidly declining. I took my granddaughter out over the summer and he wasn't too bad, but no where near as good as the year before.
In December when we visited, he was worse. He seemed to be sleeping a lot during the day and just not really alert. I happen to find a list of his medicines and in February of 2015 he was put on a very strong anti-psychotic/anti depressant - Olanzaprine. When I checked this medicine and being prescribed for Alzheimer's patients, it said that it was a "Black Box Medication":
I felt he should be taken off the medication because it was causing his confusion and for him to sleep constantly. I also attributed his "rapid" decline to this medication.
Fast forward to the end of May and I get a text from my brother asking if I could come out the following week, that my mom is sick. I was on a plane the following week. The day after I arrived, she woke up in severe pain and we got her an appointment with her doctor. A friend took her to the appointment and then let me know that they were sending her to the ER. She stayed for awhile and then came home. I was able to get her husband to come sit with my dad. (Mom has used him to stay with dad quite often). The wife was a forever caregiver. I went to the ER to be with my mom. They gave her a prescription for pain and told her she had Diverticulitis. Within the first couple days, I took my dad off the olanzapine and within two days I could see a difference. My brother came up after I had mentioned taking him off this. When he arrived he was angry and asked if I had taken my dad to the doctor. I said that I hadn't but talked to him about it and he was willing to give it a try. My brother wasn't happy, but went along with it. After being around him for the rest of the Sunday and all of the Monday, he made a comment after dinner that he wasn't sleeping as much and was more alert. I said that this was the result of just 4 days off the med.
My mom was not getting better. Sometimes it was her diverticulitis and other times it would be a pain in her back and groin area. The physical therapist found that her hip was out of alignment. He got it back into place, but did not know how long it was out of alignment. Then near the end of the month when I said I would have to be going home, she was making herself sick with worry.
My mom had kept talking about how my sister had said she would be out on August 16 and at the time she was told this, she thought that was 6 months away and she could be in the hospital by then.
After I left, my niece came out for about a week near the end of July and then my sister arrived at the beginning of August instead of the 16th. One day when I called, my sister tells me "They are down for a nap! They take a 2 hour nap for about 1 to 3 or 3:30 depending on when they get down." She was very curt about it. Fine. I called a couple days later and now they are taking a nap from 2 to 4.
I tried calling another day and they were at a hearing appointment. Then I tried one morning about 8:30 and my mom said that was a good time as they were just finishing breakfast. She constantly tells me things about what happened to her while she was sick and I have to tell her that I was there for a month and know exactly what was going on with her. At the beginning of this week they went down to my brother's for Monday afternoon until Tuesday afternoon because they were having wood look tile placed in the hall. Any other time I would have not problem not being able to get a hold of her. But because she has been so sick and is just starting to get better, when I tried to call on Tuesday morning and could not get through on the house phone twice, I tried her cell phone, but it also just rang and then went to voice mail.
Yesterday I called to talk to her at 9 her time and they were just sitting down for breakfast. We ended up in an argument and she was upset. Plus she also must have had the phone on speaker because I could her my sister very clearly in the back ground and then the friend came up and said that my mom was getting up set. I was trying to tell my mom things and she kept interrupting me and so I had to raise my voice at times for her to hear me because she also did not have her hearing aids in, so then I was yelling at her. I couldn't even finish a sentence and she would interrupt me. I said that I was mad because both my sister and my brother had contacted hospice in January, but my dad was not eligible because he could still do things for himself. He has declined and with my mom being very sick, my sister contacted them at the end of July and they got over there fast and got it set up that someone comes in 3 days a week to bathe him and then they have Jeanne (the former caregiver) who comes over and makes breakfast for them most days.
I questioned both my sister and brother as to why I wasn't told about hospice while I was there. I could have gotten it in place before I left since my mom was still sick.
I was also mad that they do not admit that never once questioned the medications either of them are on. They just go along with what ever the doctor orders. My sister says some have certain regimes that they use. Sorry i don't buy that. He could have been put on a lot lower anti-depressant for his mood swings. But this is all moot as hospice has taken him off of everything.
I have been sending texts to both my sister and brother asking them questions about things regarding things that need to be done. My mom has a referral to see a neurologist and she hasn't made that appointment even though she has numbness in her leg from the knee down. It was originally the entire leg. Plus she has had numerous falls and I feel she need to have an MRI done. She will have to be sedated as she is very claustrophobic.
My brother told me that letting me know they had gone to his house was non issue because I knew that my sister was there. Plus that most of the other stuff I had sent them was just rambling and trying to find something to be mad about. I had asked him about her leg and got no response.
My mom said that she would call today and of course that did not happen. She says she hardly has her cell with her at all. But when I was there, she was constantly looking for it. Then she says that my brother told her she was in bed for two days and didn't get up to go the bathroom. I said if he was in the living room he would even know if she had gotten up. If she wasn't going to the bathroom that means he wasn't keeping her hydrated. I kept some type of drink at her bedside 24/7.
My mom thinks my brother is perfect and my sister is obviously running to him if I say something to her that she doesn't like or if I am accusing her of something (for good reason). My mom has let my sister steal things from her and won't take a stand against it. My brother says to just put it in the past and let it be.
Me, I am just the middle child who doesn't know anything and have no right to worry about my parents in any way. I am no longer trying to get my mom to put my dad in a home, because she has the help she needs. But that was thrown in my face as it is no longer up for discussion, PERIOD. I hadn't even brought since I left.
My mom lost over 40 lbs over 2 years, but she thinks she lost them in the last couple months. I keep having to remind her that she was 130 in December and she lost 10 lbs, almost 15 lbs while she was sick. The reason she lost the 40 lbs was because my sister had made up some meals and my mom was giving the bigger portion (2/3 for my dad and 1/3 for her).
I am stuck in Florida not knowing what is going on and what else might walk out of the house when my sister leaves. Though I have given my brother fair warning that if my mom mentions that something else has gone missing, I will call out my sister on everything she has taken. In February, she took my dad's breakfast bowl. It had "Good Morning Luv" on it and he had used it for years. My daughter notice that he used a specific spoon too when she was little. My bother tried to give him cereal in a different bowl and he wouldn't eat it. I found one that is a similar shape and he would eat out of that.
Sorry this is long and rambling. Do you think that with how sick my mother had been, just asking for a quick text to say they were going to my brother's for a day or two was asking too much? This has happened before when she wasn't sick and her phone died and didn't have a charger with her. I tried calling her house at all different hours and got no answer, then tried her cell phone. I eventually texted my brother who said they were there. I felt that it because of how sick she has been, that I should have been told that they weren't going to home. I was told by my mom that she would call today and I never got a call. I asked her yesterday to just read the text messages that I sent her. I later added an apology for getting her upset. But I have been upset for two days about this whole ordeal. Mainly because I can't call my mom with out my sister hovering over her while she is talking to me.
In December when we visited, he was worse. He seemed to be sleeping a lot during the day and just not really alert. I happen to find a list of his medicines and in February of 2015 he was put on a very strong anti-psychotic/anti depressant - Olanzaprine. When I checked this medicine and being prescribed for Alzheimer's patients, it said that it was a "Black Box Medication":
Antipsychotic medications for hallucinations, delusions, aggression, hostility and uncooperativeness
- newer "atypical" agents such as aripiprazole (Abilify®); olanzapine (Zyprexa®); quetiapine (Seroquel®); risperidone (Risperdal®); and ziprasidone (Geoden®)
- older first-generation drugs such as haloperidol (Haldol®)
The decision to use an antipsychotic drug needs to be considered with extreme caution. A recent analysis shows that atypical antipsychotics are associated with an increased risk of stroke and death in older adults with dementia. The FDA has asked manufacturers to include a “black box” warning about the risks and a reminder that they are not approved to treat dementia symptoms. The warning states: “Elderly patients with dementia-related psychosis treated with atypical antipsychotic drugs are at an increased risk of death compared to placebo.”
My sister was there when he was prescribed it. She said she didn't question it because of the things that my mom was saying he was doing. He was supposedly be belligerent and saying inappropriate things. My dad has never been a violent person, EVER. We don't know what he had been saying to her, but we also do not know what time period he was in either.
I felt he should be taken off the medication because it was causing his confusion and for him to sleep constantly. I also attributed his "rapid" decline to this medication.
Fast forward to the end of May and I get a text from my brother asking if I could come out the following week, that my mom is sick. I was on a plane the following week. The day after I arrived, she woke up in severe pain and we got her an appointment with her doctor. A friend took her to the appointment and then let me know that they were sending her to the ER. She stayed for awhile and then came home. I was able to get her husband to come sit with my dad. (Mom has used him to stay with dad quite often). The wife was a forever caregiver. I went to the ER to be with my mom. They gave her a prescription for pain and told her she had Diverticulitis. Within the first couple days, I took my dad off the olanzapine and within two days I could see a difference. My brother came up after I had mentioned taking him off this. When he arrived he was angry and asked if I had taken my dad to the doctor. I said that I hadn't but talked to him about it and he was willing to give it a try. My brother wasn't happy, but went along with it. After being around him for the rest of the Sunday and all of the Monday, he made a comment after dinner that he wasn't sleeping as much and was more alert. I said that this was the result of just 4 days off the med.
My mom was not getting better. Sometimes it was her diverticulitis and other times it would be a pain in her back and groin area. The physical therapist found that her hip was out of alignment. He got it back into place, but did not know how long it was out of alignment. Then near the end of the month when I said I would have to be going home, she was making herself sick with worry.
My mom had kept talking about how my sister had said she would be out on August 16 and at the time she was told this, she thought that was 6 months away and she could be in the hospital by then.
After I left, my niece came out for about a week near the end of July and then my sister arrived at the beginning of August instead of the 16th. One day when I called, my sister tells me "They are down for a nap! They take a 2 hour nap for about 1 to 3 or 3:30 depending on when they get down." She was very curt about it. Fine. I called a couple days later and now they are taking a nap from 2 to 4.
I tried calling another day and they were at a hearing appointment. Then I tried one morning about 8:30 and my mom said that was a good time as they were just finishing breakfast. She constantly tells me things about what happened to her while she was sick and I have to tell her that I was there for a month and know exactly what was going on with her. At the beginning of this week they went down to my brother's for Monday afternoon until Tuesday afternoon because they were having wood look tile placed in the hall. Any other time I would have not problem not being able to get a hold of her. But because she has been so sick and is just starting to get better, when I tried to call on Tuesday morning and could not get through on the house phone twice, I tried her cell phone, but it also just rang and then went to voice mail.
Yesterday I called to talk to her at 9 her time and they were just sitting down for breakfast. We ended up in an argument and she was upset. Plus she also must have had the phone on speaker because I could her my sister very clearly in the back ground and then the friend came up and said that my mom was getting up set. I was trying to tell my mom things and she kept interrupting me and so I had to raise my voice at times for her to hear me because she also did not have her hearing aids in, so then I was yelling at her. I couldn't even finish a sentence and she would interrupt me. I said that I was mad because both my sister and my brother had contacted hospice in January, but my dad was not eligible because he could still do things for himself. He has declined and with my mom being very sick, my sister contacted them at the end of July and they got over there fast and got it set up that someone comes in 3 days a week to bathe him and then they have Jeanne (the former caregiver) who comes over and makes breakfast for them most days.
I questioned both my sister and brother as to why I wasn't told about hospice while I was there. I could have gotten it in place before I left since my mom was still sick.
I was also mad that they do not admit that never once questioned the medications either of them are on. They just go along with what ever the doctor orders. My sister says some have certain regimes that they use. Sorry i don't buy that. He could have been put on a lot lower anti-depressant for his mood swings. But this is all moot as hospice has taken him off of everything.
I have been sending texts to both my sister and brother asking them questions about things regarding things that need to be done. My mom has a referral to see a neurologist and she hasn't made that appointment even though she has numbness in her leg from the knee down. It was originally the entire leg. Plus she has had numerous falls and I feel she need to have an MRI done. She will have to be sedated as she is very claustrophobic.
My brother told me that letting me know they had gone to his house was non issue because I knew that my sister was there. Plus that most of the other stuff I had sent them was just rambling and trying to find something to be mad about. I had asked him about her leg and got no response.
My mom said that she would call today and of course that did not happen. She says she hardly has her cell with her at all. But when I was there, she was constantly looking for it. Then she says that my brother told her she was in bed for two days and didn't get up to go the bathroom. I said if he was in the living room he would even know if she had gotten up. If she wasn't going to the bathroom that means he wasn't keeping her hydrated. I kept some type of drink at her bedside 24/7.
My mom thinks my brother is perfect and my sister is obviously running to him if I say something to her that she doesn't like or if I am accusing her of something (for good reason). My mom has let my sister steal things from her and won't take a stand against it. My brother says to just put it in the past and let it be.
Me, I am just the middle child who doesn't know anything and have no right to worry about my parents in any way. I am no longer trying to get my mom to put my dad in a home, because she has the help she needs. But that was thrown in my face as it is no longer up for discussion, PERIOD. I hadn't even brought since I left.
My mom lost over 40 lbs over 2 years, but she thinks she lost them in the last couple months. I keep having to remind her that she was 130 in December and she lost 10 lbs, almost 15 lbs while she was sick. The reason she lost the 40 lbs was because my sister had made up some meals and my mom was giving the bigger portion (2/3 for my dad and 1/3 for her).
I am stuck in Florida not knowing what is going on and what else might walk out of the house when my sister leaves. Though I have given my brother fair warning that if my mom mentions that something else has gone missing, I will call out my sister on everything she has taken. In February, she took my dad's breakfast bowl. It had "Good Morning Luv" on it and he had used it for years. My daughter notice that he used a specific spoon too when she was little. My bother tried to give him cereal in a different bowl and he wouldn't eat it. I found one that is a similar shape and he would eat out of that.
Sorry this is long and rambling. Do you think that with how sick my mother had been, just asking for a quick text to say they were going to my brother's for a day or two was asking too much? This has happened before when she wasn't sick and her phone died and didn't have a charger with her. I tried calling her house at all different hours and got no answer, then tried her cell phone. I eventually texted my brother who said they were there. I felt that it because of how sick she has been, that I should have been told that they weren't going to home. I was told by my mom that she would call today and I never got a call. I asked her yesterday to just read the text messages that I sent her. I later added an apology for getting her upset. But I have been upset for two days about this whole ordeal. Mainly because I can't call my mom with out my sister hovering over her while she is talking to me.