Disruptive child in line

[lovewdwfun]

I wanted some opinions from people who do not have kids without disabilities. My son has Down syndrome and is 3 1/2. He is going through a rough phase where he gets frustrated when he doesn't get what he wants and can't understand what we are telling him. I am afraid this will be an issue at Disney. We will get a DAS, but character greets concern me. I know they will be his favorite, but I expect he will cry in line because he won't understand why he isn't meeting them now. My thought is that would be disruptive to other guests and it would be more appropriate to have the other parent and kids wait elsewhere and join them at the front. I could let the people behind us know what we are doing.

From the perspective of a guest without a child with disabilities, what is the greater faux pas? Is it worse to have a crying child in line or to see a family joining one person at the front? I don't want to be accused of cutting in front of the other kids, but I think that would be much better than having a disruptive child during other's meet and greets. Opinions?

 

[Aliceacc]

For starters, I expect to see kids crying-- at WDW, at the supermarket, anywhere. They're kids, that's part of what they do. And at WDW, with all the stimulation, it's an exponentially higher number.

So don't sweat your son's tears on my account. I'll feel sympathy, not annoyance, at his tears.

But I think the focus should be on making him less unhappy, as opposed to worrying that his tears will effect me.

How can you minimize his time on line for those Meet and Greets? Can a combination of Rope Drop and FPs help? Are your odds better during EMH?? Can you prioritize FPs for the characters with the longer lines, and work the times so he sees some of the others with a minimal wait? My daughter and I met Pocohantas at AK last month-- we were the only ones at the Meet and Greet, absolutely no line. (We found her on the way to Dino land)

To answer your question directly: If I was on line behind you, saw a single adult on line to meet a character, and later saw a Downs Syndrome (or really, any) child come and join that adult, I would simply be glad that they found a solution that worked for them. It's different from having a family of 8 join you, each one wanting to pose and get a photo. It would be obvious that this was an approach designed to work with the child's disability.

You are, first and foremost, you child's advocate. So work to minimize his frustrations.

And realize that there are so very many characters at WDW. Hit a lot of the lesser characters when you can.

 

[Pesky]

I would do what you think is best for your DS. And if that is having another parent keeping him off to the side while someone else waits, that is fine. It might depend on what you mean by "family". A group of 20 extended family members? No bueno. The dad and a sibling plus your DS? Probably fine. I tend to talk to people around me anyway and I would do them the courtesy of letting them know that your family will be joining you. As for the others further back, face it -- they are going to judge you anyway in the absence of any knowledge. So forget them. it's not like you will go through the line explaining your DS's special needs so just control what you can and have fun.

 

[Kittyoko]

I wouldn't put your child through a crying fit right before pictures. If anyone has a problem and starts making a big deal thinking you're line cutting, I'm sure they'd understand once they realized the child is a DAS pass child. I think other parents in line who are aware of the situation would stand up for you.

 

[KrazeeK120]

I think you'll probably run into a logistical issue in some of the character greeting lines - I think it would be difficult to push through the line at some of them. This type of stress may also upset your son. Plus, there are some where you can't see the front of the line from the entrance, so you'll have to either text with each other or use your best guess as to when to join, and that could be an issue if the time posted is incorrect. I think the DAS uses the Fastpass line where there is one, correct? You may also consider using a Fastpass at some of the character greets.

I'm not sure how quickly your son will become upset, but you may consider visiting characters early in the day when the lines aren't long.

Are there particular characters your son really wants to meet? Perhaps you can focus on a couple of characters instead of trying to see a whole bunch of them.

Personally, I'd rather see an entire family "cut the line" using the DAS, because I would know there's a reason for that. I wouldn't be bothered by a crying child in the line (disabled or not). I'm sure there's a lot of them. I'd just feel bad for the kid and parent. I haven't taken my son to Disney yet, but I know that he has turned on the tears at some inopportune times. It happens.

I hope you have a wonderful trip and I think you're a terrific mom for taking your son to Disney and taking steps to make him as comfortable as possible. I hope you have a wonderful time!

 

[lovewdwfun]

So don't sweat your son's tears on my account. I'll feel sympathy, not annoyance, at his tears.

But I think the focus should be on making him less unhappy, as opposed to worrying that his tears will effect me.

How can you minimize his time on line for those Meet and Greets? Can a combination of Rope Drop and FPs help? Are your odds better during EMH?? Can you prioritize FPs for the characters with the longer lines, and work the times so he sees some of the others with a minimal wait? My daughter and I met Pocohantas at AK last month-- we were the only ones at the Meet and Greet, absolutely no line. (We found her on the way to Dino land).

Thanks for your kind words! We are doing rope drop, recommended days, and lots of planning! My concern is that if he's like my other kids were at that age, he will get very excited whenever we pass a character line and want to meet them! I think that will be the highlight of his trip. Hopefully, he will get used to lines and understand them, but I am trying to be prepared.

 

[rwdavis2]

You may have to balance him potentially getting upset standing in line vs. not doing meet and greets at all. Any child that age won't know what they missing.

Given that, I would have no problem with him joining you just before you get to the front of the line.

 

[lovewdwfun]

Thanks all! Your reassurance has helped! I think we will be OK at indoor lines where he can't see the characters - I think the issue would be mostly walking by Pluto outside (for example), my son insisting on meeting him, and then getting frustrated that he was standing in line and not meeting him because he doesn't understand that we have to wait our turn.

 

[cdnjason]

We experienced something similar to what you describe during our trip last year. We were in line for an attraction. Next to us was a girl with Down syndrome, who started acting up. You could tell her mom wasn't sure what to do, being "trapped" in queue. Without prompting, my DDs (3 and 4 at the time) consoled and started playing with her and she perked right up. One of my proudest moments as a father.

Ironically, we kept running into them at different parks over the course of the week. Which made it even more special.

So, I think you'll get more sympathy from folks vs frustration. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Most people at WDW was kind people who understand.

 

[MamaMeggie]

Do you think that "practicing" before you go might help? Maybe talking about how you are waiting in line at the grocery store, and how you might have to do the same thing at Disney World? You might even be able to make it into a game at home and wait in line to meet stuffed Mickey and Minnie - then at least he would be a little familiar with the concept even if Disney is way more exciting!

 

[fhtpdw20]

We did character meals with DS when he was young. You will get to meet several characters and have the buffet line as a distraction while you wait.

 

[smallworldnh]

I don't have a child with a disability. In fact, my "child" is now 31 years old but we still feel like children when we visit WDW. I have absolutely no problem giving up my place in line and letting pass the child (or children) and their families in this case. In fact, I think they should have special lines for children who have disabilities that make it hard for them to be patient and understand about waiting their turn. Good luck to you lovewdwfun, I you all have a magical visit!

 

[Easto]

- I would try and wait in line first and see what happens. You may be surprised that he will wait, or... it could be a quick switch to option 2

- I would have someone wait in line and someone else take your son and occupy him elsewhere. When you get to the front of the line, bring him up and let him have his meet. I would think if you told the person behind you (don't need to tell everyone) they would be understanding.

I guarantee someone will have an issue with this, but to be honest no matter what you do someone will have an issue. However, your son should be able to enjoy Disney as much as everyone else and you have circumstances to deal with that a lot of people don't understand and likely won't have compassion for. Screw them, do what you need to do as long as it's fair to the other guests. By fair, I mean if you saw someone doing that same thing would you be ok with it.

 

[Dbk8784]

My son is also 3 and a half. He is a special needs kid. We went in July and I had the same worries as you. He's also all about characters. After the first day and a half he got used to the routine. I kept saying the people in front of us go and then it's your turn. Eventually he got it. I found that the character meals were much harder. All he wanted to do was play with all the characters. I also used my stroller as a wheel chair which also helped while waiting in line. No matter what you will have a great time!

 

[minniemous]

Whatever works for you. It would not bother me one bit either way. If it does bother someone I guarantee that person would be in the minority and should be embarrassed not you.

 

[megster1123]

My son is also 3 and a half. He is a special needs kid. We went in July and I had the same worries as you. He's also all about characters. After the first day and a half he got used to the routine. I kept saying the people in front of us go and then it's your turn. Eventually he got it. I found that the character meals were much harder. All he wanted to do was play with all the characters. I also used my stroller as a wheel chair which also helped while waiting in line. No matter what you will have a great time!

That's kind of what I as going to suggest - whatever route you decide to go after the first couple meets/lines I would stick with that strategy and make it the routine. Having inconsistent experiences and expectations may make the situation worse for him.

 

[HollVoll]

Hugs to you, friend. Our 12yo has Down syndrome. It is very hard when they don't understand.

Are you planning to have a stroller for him? The stroller as a wheelchair pass has been amazing for us as he can wait in his stroller while in line. Our son hates his stroller everywhere except for Disney. Disney is amazing, yet somewhat overwhelming and the stroller is his safe place. When our guy was younger, we had a small magna doodle from Michaels that we tied onto the stroller. Sometimes just distracting him while we waited was helpful. Sometimes having pictures (or these days the MDE app) and showing him what was next would work well. Being prepared is very helpful.

If you decide to have him wait while you are in line, check with the cast members in the line and let them know the plan. I have found them to be very helpful and understanding as well. They will likely help you with the timing of it all.

Blessings to you and hoping your trip goes very well.

 

[soniam]

If it makes you feel better, many kids that age, whether they have special needs or not, don't understand the concept of waiting in line. Do what you need for your family. Give people near you a heads up about who is joining you in line and why. Most people are understanding at Disney, and if they aren't, well they can go jump in the river I would actually appreciate your consideration for others. However, a little crying isn't a big deal. Screaming bloody murder on the other hand is really not good. Good luck and have fun.

 

[bumbershoot]

For starters, I expect to see kids crying-- at WDW, at the supermarket, anywhere. They're kids, that's part of what they do. And at WDW, with all the stimulation, it's an exponentially higher number.

Exactly. 3 year olds get upset at things like that. And yet doing those things is how they start to learn what it's all about. Since we homeschool, DS hasn't had the experience of lining up for class or recess or whatever, but he learned those things at Disneyland. Our first BIG trip to DLR was when he was 3, and he wanted to meet the characters, and he wanted to meet them NOW, just like every other 3 year old in that line.

OP, while I know that you deal with things that I didn't deal with every day, *this* particular issue is one shared by parents of most 3 year olds who get to go to fun places like theme parks.

There was lots of talking and repeating, and showing, and picking him up so he could see each family going up and meeting then moving on, then another family going up and meeting and moving on etc, and noticing how the line was moving, etc etc etc.

 

[DWillowBay]

Don't ruin your trip with pre-emptive logistics. Just let him be himself...no matter what. What a valuable lesson of acceptance. Don't worry about others. They get to choose whatever they want in terms of understanding or not. You and your family do what needs to be done in order to enjoy your time together. I hope you all have a great time!!