I especially feel responsible when its 14 of the guests first time, and not one of them care to plan at all.
This is quite a pickle! People who have never been to WDW don't understand the need to research and plan out their trips. They think they can just figure it all out when they get there. This is understandable since it's true for most vacation destinations. When these families travel to WDW on their own, they tend to stand around a lot in long lines, miss a lot of attractions, and then come home and say "WDW is horrible and I'm never going back!"
But, when you are traveling with these people it becomes a much bigger problem. They become overwhelmed and you become a very convenient target. In my experience, many people like the idea of Disney World and have a romanticized view of the resort and the idea of spending extended time with family. Below is a list of the most common issues I have experienced in traveling with a group.
1. Certain families view time as a suggestion. They agree to meet at the bus stop at 8:15am. In reality, half of them show up 20 minutes late to let you know that Billy is still in the shower and Maggie went to get a bagel at the Food Court. They are actually ready to leave at 9am. They feel zero guilt about making everyone else wait because they TRIED to make it on time. If you don't wait for them, they become insulted because they thought you were taking this vacation to be with them.
2. People underestimate the physical stamina needed to experience the parks. They become tired and cranky. Or their knee starts acting up. Or they get a headache. The reality is they just can't keep up with the group. Some graciously park on a bench or return to the resort. But others expect the group to slow down their touring.
3. Shopping. Some people cannot go past a shop without spending 10-20 minutes looking at the merchandise. Others can spend a week at Disney and never do any shopping at all. In my experience, shoppers and non-shoppers don't mix very well. Shoppers hate being rushed. Non-shoppers hate waiting for shoppers.
4. Bathroom breaks. After lunch, the group stops at a restroom. 10 of the 14 people use the facility. The other 4 stand around waiting for them. 15 minutes later, 2 of the non-goers now want the group to stop at the next bathroom. "Why didn't you go 15 minutes ago?" "I didn't need to go then." People also differ on how often they need to go. Some people are good for 5-6 hours, others need to visit a restroom every 45 minutes. Neither group is right, just different. However, with a large group you will spend a LOT of time waiting for others during restroom breaks. This drives some people absolutely crazy.
5. Ideas about meals. Some families spend 1-1.5 hours each day at sit down, table service meals. They look forward to the experience and spend a lot of time thinking about and talking about food. Others eat all their meals at counter service restaurants and believe in general, that eating is a waste of park time and you need to get it over with as quickly as possible. Again, no right or wrong, just different. And, neither group has much tolerance for the other.
6. Spending money. Some families have (or are willing to spend) more money than others. One family might be trying to get the group to skip a pricey sit-down character meal that another family is really excited about. The bottom line is that family #1 doesn't want to spend the money and they don't want family #2 to go either. Why not? They don't want family #2 kids to experience the character meal and tell their kids about it. So they pressure the other family not to go.
7. Spending money on souvenirs. Some parents buy their kids lots of stuff on vacation, others don't. Once again, no right or wrong here. The problem is that the kids of the non-spender parents get jealous when they see the other kids getting things they can't have. And the non-spender parents get resentful that the other parents are buying when they don't want to. In my experience, non-spender parents in this position often become very judgmental about the parenting skills of the other parents. It gets ugly quick.
8. Child discipline. Families differ on how they discipline their kids. I once traveled with a Mom and and a 3-year old. The little girl screamed at the top of her lungs every time she didn't get her way. It was ear piercing. I finally said something to the Grandma. She said "We are so used to it, we don't even hear it any more." And she was right. The Mom had the ability to totally block the screams out, while no one else had learned that skill. I have also found that some parents threaten their kids or give them lots of chances without following through with the consequences. This drives other parents crazy, especially when their kids start acting up as well. Again, judgmental statements are made and all heck breaks loose.
9. Amount of downtime/sleep. Many families spend the entire day at WDW from open to close, day after day and seem to become energized by it. Others, need lots of resort time, or pool time. Some kids need naps, others don't. We traveled with one family whose 3 and 5 year old sons took a 2-3 hour nap every afternoon. The problem was they expected the entire group to come back to the resort and wait with them while their boys napped. They didn't want their kids missing anything.
10. General intolerance. Some people believe their way is "right" and everyone else is wrong. If they don't want to do something they don't want anyone else to do it either. Some people also get very cranky when they perceive things are not going their way. I have a brother who cannot wait in line for a bus more than 10 minutes or his head explodes. It made for a very uncomfortable trip as he took it out on everyone around him. He now rents a car and drives himself to the parks.
That's about it! In my experience its differences in how multiple families handle these issues that makes a trip work or not work. The problem is that most of these things are not known until the trip is underway. You can only predict how people will react to a limited extent.
I sincerely hope you have a wonderful trip! My advice to you is the same as others. Pick a different park each day. Pick 3 fast passes for early afternoon and let everyone know that they are free to change them if they wish. Pick a TS dinner spot for about 6:30pm, again letting people know that if they wish to eat on their own that's fine. End the day with the evening event in that park (Illuminations, Wishes, Fantasmic) and pick a meeting spot so that you can experience that event together.
