Curious .... what agreement do you have with your college student as far as tuition?

[piccolopat]

We paid for the unsubsidized parent loans and DD is paying the subsidized student loans (about 1/4 of the total). Until she got her job, we paid her loan payments so she didn't have to defer and accumulate more interest. We still help on occasion but as she becomes more financially independent, the less we assist.

 

[MichelleB]

I don't think people are suggesting "just dump them"...more that they expect their 18 year olds to start thinking like adults - having a vision, understanding consequences and unintended consequences, evaluating risk vs reward, knowing what the cost of something really is and the effects paying for it has, etc...

Many people use college as this 1st "adult" thought process b/c it is the 1st huge expense with a risk/reward that usually confronts their kids...letting kids know how much "risk" you, the parents, will take on to help them out is just part of the adult evaluation process (and it is true - a kid who knows it's all paid for so there is literally no risk to them will evaluate the decision to a lesser degree than one who has to pay it all themselves and put their financial future at the greatest risk...at least if they have reached the ability to think as an adult needs to do)...

I second this and it was well said. I don't see anyone on here suggesting anyone dump their kids at 18. I see it as the next step in their growth process where they are taking on more responsibilities with parental involvement to help guide them to the being on their own stage. I believe they think through decisions a bit better when it comes to them being responsible in part for the funding. I also know that does not apply to all kids. There's nothing wrong with a little hard work involved to get where they say they want to go. That doesn't mean I think they should be left on their own to take care of it all but participating in it shows joint effort and thought process. With that will comes even more of an appreciation for what they've accomplished upon graduation. Not only did they study but they helped fund it so the "yeah me!" is true in all sense. So it's a win-win all the way around.

 

[jodifla]

Just because we don't pay for college doesn't mean we have dumped our kids when they turn 18. They have a place to live, we pay car, car insurance, health insurance, cell phones, medical bills, buy their clothes etc. We didn't pay $20K a year for them to go to school from age 5-18. We aren't paying for it from 18-25. We help but we don't do it all. College is an investment and our kids are investing in their future just like I did in mine.

College is exponentially more expensive than back when I (and likely you) went to college. And I would feel terrible if I had a really strong student who couldn't realize her potential because I had limited his/her college choices.

 

[eliza61]

My guess would be that this is because you bring your own bias to the hiring table. Our business is small, but we would not hire a non-IT professional to do the job of an IT person in the hopes that they can be "groomed" for the position. We want them to be able to perform the job that is placed before them. We know enough about our field to teach them about our line of work on a need-to know-basis. What we require is someone who can bring a skill set that we lack to the table.

Not necessarily. As many know I'm a chemist with a major fortune 500 chemical company based in De. we are hiring more and more liberal arts degrees ESPECIALLY for management positions with high salaries. the problem we are running into with BS stem students s yes they have the technical background but that's about it. So they are failing miserable once we take them out of the lab away from the bench.

So while we wouldn't hire a English major for a lab technician job, we would hire them for a product development lead, for a brand marketing project manager.

I've been there for 20+ years and I've watched the "chemist" and "engineers" get stuck in positions. IT personal don't go anywhere. yeah they get hired and definitely at a great starting salary but when I mentor the "youngins" the first thing I ask is how willing are they to go take non science classes.

I love the STEM fields, I was lucky I was encouraged to pursue a science degree at a time when girls were not really pushed but neither would I suggest someone go that route just because they "think" they will have a better chance at success. i know just as many unemployed Biologists as I do history majors

 

[sk!mom]

I didn't realize parents paying for school was so common. I have/am paying 100% of my own tuition, etc

People on this board initially found it because they enjoy an expensive vacation destination so they are likely more affluent then the overall population. If you are willing to share, I'd love to know how you are able to pay for it all yourself.

(and it is true - a kid who knows it's all paid for so there is literally no risk to them will evaluate the decision to a lesser degree than one who has to pay it all themselves and put their financial future at the greatest risk...at least if they have reached the ability to think as an adult needs to do)...

Completely disagree. I've seen many young people waste their own earned money and loan money because they were unmotivated/immature. I've also seen many who were very appreciative of their parents paying and understood the impact on their financial future and were very motivated to do well.

 

[crisi]

My guess would be that this is because you bring your own bias to the hiring table. Our business is small, but we would not hire a non-IT professional to do the job of an IT person in the hopes that they can be "groomed" for the position. We want them to be able to perform the job that is placed before them. We know enough about our field to teach them about our line of work on a need-to know-basis. What we require is someone who can bring a skill set that we lack to the table.

Sometimes I'm the hiring manager, sometimes I'm part of a committee. HR doesn't even give me resumes for Computer Science graduates or IT graduates when I'm hiring for BAs and PMs or ITIL professionals. Because when you graduate with an IT degree, you can make more as a developer. But the path to IT management seldom moves through developer.

 

[sk!mom]

** For those who think they "have to" pay tuition or anything else.... it's not a very smart idea. Whatever money you plan on giving your child for college should go into your retirement fund. Your child is young and is able to work and be responsible for the student loans (which have very low interest). Once you are of retirement age, you should be able to retire and live a comfortable life --- not have to continue working because you decided to pay your kid's college.

What would make you think that people who pay for their child's college education are sacrificing retirement to do so? DH and I are curtailing travel for 2-3 years to free up additional money for college but we have made no cuts to our retirement contributions, and college expenses have no impact on our retirement plans.

 

[TwoMisfits]

People on this board initially found it because they enjoy an expensive vacation destination so they are likely more affluent then the overall population. If you are willing to share, I'd love to know how you are able to pay for it all yourself.



Completely disagree. I've seen many young people waste their own earned money and loan money because they were unmotivated/immature. I've also seen many who were very appreciative of their parents paying and understood the impact on their financial future and were very motivated to do well.

You skipped reading the ending..."IF they have reached the ability to think as an adult needs to"...obviously some kids put their money in and pay for a product they are not ready for, b/c of peer pressure, parental pressure, societal expectation, etc w/o truly thinking it through and understanding what is at stake and what they are paying for and why...but, these kids also feel the eventual repercussions of that decision, unlike those whose parents who made the same behavior possible by paying for their kid 100% who also then exhibited the same "blow it off" behavior...aka, those who paid learned the lesson of being an adult, even if it would have been world's better for them to have learned it before they undertook the path...as they say, for some, experience is the best teacher...

 

[eliza61]

People on this board initially found it because they enjoy an expensive vacation destination so they are likely more affluent then the overall population. If you are willing to share, I'd love to know how you are able to pay for it all yourself.



Completely disagree. I've seen many young people waste their own earned money and loan money because they were unmotivated/immature. I've also seen many who were very appreciative of their parents paying and understood the impact on their financial future and were very motivated to do well.

Lol, got that right. My parents would have put their shoes where the sun don't shine if I wasted their money. lol. I worked in retail one Christmas season, that was all it took to know I never wanted to do that and take my studies seriously.

 

[Tigerlulu]

Absolutely, for graphic design, consider pairing it with marketing or public relations. Your value has significantly if you have both of those. I did all the public relations for an agency and my worth was that I had the ability to implement and produce marketing materials myself, as well as handle the web stuff. They had a hard time replacing me with that skill set. Very very valuable!!!

I have a friend who graduated in just marketing and is now scrambling to learn graphic design. And one who just graduated with graphic design and is now looking at a business graduate degree. Definitely those two types of degrees complement each other significantly.

 

[Chelley00]

College is exponentially more expensive than back when I (and likely you) went to college. And I would feel terrible if I had a really strong student who couldn't realize her potential because I had limited his/her college choices.

I'm not limiting anything. Both our boys got scholarships to school and are paying the balance of their tuition by working. We help but I'm not paying 100%. We are investing it in their future together. Son #2 has plans to go to law school. He's realizing his potential just fine.

 

[QueenIsabella]

We have also started pushing our kids into the STEM sectors, even at young ages. I have a hard time paying for a 4 year college degree in a field that makes it very hard to get a return on that investment. Yes, there is a need for most degrees, but it is amazing to me how many kids go to college for: History, Psychology, Sociology, Philosophy, etc etc etc. Yes, all are valid degrees, until it comes to employment. I want my kids to know that the costs towards college will be covered in a line of work/career that is going to help them prosper down and hopefully and easier life. There is no guarantees, and I know there are a hundred stories of those in liberal arts fields with success in life, but it is not as easy as if you are in the STEM sector. Again, my opinion, but a very valid one.

Good luck with that. We're a very STEM-centric household--DH and I both have engineering degrees, and all my kids love science. In fifth grade, my oldest wanted to be a forensic pathologist. Things change--she's currently getting a degree in education. Interestingly, only one of the four is likely to be an engineer--our youngest. We've been saying he'll be an engineer for years, because there are a cluster of personality traits that are common in the engineering world, and he has them. To him, everything in life is a problem to be solved.

My point is, you can't just wave a magic wand and get a STEM kid. Nor should you consider STEM the only way to go, as others on this thread have mentioned. My oldest was born to be a teacher, and she's going to be an amazing one--it's absolutely the right choice for her, even though it's not a path that will make her rich or famous.

As to the OP's question, my kids take out federal loans and are responsible for their living expenses (not room and board--just stuff like books, toiletries, pizza, etc.). My oldest has a work-study job, and she works summers and breaks to earn extra money. She has a very strong work ethic. It depends a LOT on the child in question and their temperament.

 

[NYCDiane]

What would make you think that people who pay for their child's college education are sacrificing retirement to do so? DH and I are curtailing travel for 2-3 years to free up additional money for college but we have made no cuts to our retirement contributions, and college expenses have no impact on our retirement plans.

Well, lucky you that you have to "curtail your travel for 2-3 years" and don't have to cut into your retirement. Guess what? Not everyone is fortunate enough to travel at all. There are those of us who have had very bad situations in our lives or just don't have enough to travel. Therefore, we aren't in a situation to "curtail our travel".

Additionally, there are many single parents (me) who have to struggle every month to make sure things get paid. I do everything I can do for my daughter but, when it comes to college, I'm not paying her full tuition. She will get loans, grants, and hopefully some scholarships. She also has her money from when she worked when she was a child. I will help her as I can but I will not be paying her full ride.

 

[sk!mom]

** For those who think they "have to" pay tuition or anything else.... it's not a very smart idea. Whatever money you plan on giving your child for college should go into your retirement fund. Your child is young and is able to work and be responsible for the student loans (which have very low interest). Once you are of retirement age, you should be able to retire and live a comfortable life --- not have to continue working because you decided to pay your kid's college.

Well, lucky you that you have to "curtail your travel for 2-3 years" and don't have to cut into your retirement. Guess what? Not everyone is fortunate enough to travel at all. There are those of us who have had very bad situations in our lives or just don't have enough to travel. Therefore, we aren't in a situation to "curtail our travel".

Additionally, there are many single parents (me) who have to struggle every month to make sure things get paid. I do everything I can do for my daughter but, when it comes to college, I'm not paying her full tuition. She will get loans, grants, and hopefully some scholarships. She also has her money from when she worked when she was a child. I will help her as I can but I will not be paying her full ride.

I am very sorry that I struck a nerve with you. I am well aware that not everyone is able to pay for college and am very thankful that so far we have been able to. I mentioned cutting out vacations only as an example that we are adjusting our budget to pay it not to hurt anyone's feelings.

 

[niffer5150]

we will help with most of her BS, maybe more. we will probably move near the college she chooses to save on boarding too. we've already been helped out so much by a special program she's in, it's taken a huge burden off us so it's a reasonable amount. she understands that if she wants to go farther(she has plans for a phd), she will have to take out loans.

 

[HeyIt'sMe]

Our contribution: DH & I started putting money in a 529 Plan for DD (our only child) when she was in preschool. She started college last Fall.

Her contribution: She worked very hard in high school - took several AP, ACP, and Honors classes - and got excellent grades (graduated with a 4.2 GPA). She also prepped for the SAT and ACT and scored well on both. Her hard work paid off since she received a scholarship that covers her full tuition. The university is about an hour from our house so she lives at home and commutes so there is no room & board. She needs to continue working hard because she has to maintain a certain GPA to retain her scholarship.

She is a neuroscience major and plans to attend medical school. Since her 529 plan is just being used for fees & textbooks she'll have funds there to help pay for medical school but she'll also need to take out loans.

 

[Pesky]

I can talk about what we plan for the kids but honestly, that's far away and circumstances can change. So I'll talk about what we had with our parents. DH's parents paid for his tuition, room and board, books and basic living expenses. They would not buy him a car so he hoofed it or rode the bus or his bike until he had enough saved from summer jobs for a scooter. Deal was 4 years only and after 4 years, he was on his own. So he graduated in 4 years. My parents did much the same but I worked after my first year for professors and bought my own books and gas. They did buy me a car but I was commuting and bus wasn't an option. They did not have a 4 year cut off but did have a 6 year after my brother screwed around for a while. I took longer than 4 years but had a double major that didn't overlap and still completed it in 4.5 years. Graduate school, I was on my own.

 

[MomToOne]

Sometimes I'm the hiring manager, sometimes I'm part of a committee. HR doesn't even give me resumes for Computer Science graduates or IT graduates when I'm hiring for BAs and PMs or ITIL professionals. Because when you graduate with an IT degree, you can make more as a developer. But the path to IT management seldom moves through developer.

Then you are missing some great candidates, because of some strange bias you have developed.

I have a Computer Science degree, was a developer and development manager for many years, made it to senior architecture/development management position at a consulting firm. Then I burned out on all the technical mumbo-jumbo and decided to refocus instead of leaving the industry completely - and went over to the BA side of the house. My clients will all tell you I am light years ahead of most BAs - because I can understand both their business needs, and I can talk to the developers in their own language. Those non-tech people that were hired before into the same challenging positions? Well, many of them ended up fired because they just couldn't handle the technical side of the conversation, the rest usually left because they saw the writing on the wall.

Believe it or not, some techies do just fine dealing with people - excel at it even! And some of those English majors? Some of them are introverts that do NOT handle people well. I can tell you horror stories...

Unfortunately, I've seen lots of qualified people (especially women) leave the industry completely because once they were slotted as a coder, that's all people would let them be. Thankfully, I found people that were open to letting me rebrand myself.

Take the time to look at the individual, not the degree. Stereotyping has no justification.

 

[jodifla]

Well, lucky you that you have to "curtail your travel for 2-3 years" and don't have to cut into your retirement. Guess what? Not everyone is fortunate enough to travel at all. There are those of us who have had very bad situations in our lives or just don't have enough to travel. Therefore, we aren't in a situation to "curtail our travel".

Additionally, there are many single parents (me) who have to struggle every month to make sure things get paid. I do everything I can do for my daughter but, when it comes to college, I'm not paying her full tuition. She will get loans, grants, and hopefully some scholarships. She also has her money from when she worked when she was a child. I will help her as I can but I will not be paying her full ride.

Not everyone will be in a situation to pay for college. Many people will not be paying for everything, but part of it. But most parents view starting their child off in life without many loans and debt to be high on the priority list. Everyone's ability to do this will vary. For us, we took out a 4 year prepaid tuition plan when our child was born. There are lots of ways to help a child. But the idea that you should only fund your retirement and not help your children would not fly in this household.

 

[DawnM]

We are offering $10K per year. That is enough to cover living at home, tuition, books, fees, and transportation to the local 4 year school. Anything else, they need to cover the difference.

However, that said, if we can do more, we will, but this has been what we have told them from Day 1 so they don't have their hopes up to go to an expensive school and not understand we can't afford it.

Right now, I am applying to work for the next school year, that will help with allowing them more choices.