Curious .... what agreement do you have with your college student as far as tuition?

[Calliaz]

I've hired people, and no. There are IT management majors, but the majority of people we hire into management we start as business analysts or project managers or systems analyst - those aren't jobs we look for IT degrees for - they are jobs we look for liberal arts majors.

My experience, and the experience of a LOT of IT managers I work with is that we prefer liberal arts majors to groom to management. Not business majors and not STEM majors. STEM majors tend to make the worst managers, they haven't been taught to think broadly and don't tend to be wired for it. Business majors tend to be political animals who look out for themselves over the company.

Thank you. I worked in IT out of college with an English degree and a master of public administration. We were often looking for people with a liberal arts degree for the higher-paid project management jobs. They have such a broad base of knowledge and they generally have much better people skills.

The thing people forget about liberal arts degrees is that they have a huge base of learning. I had to take math, science, social sciences, history, etc. Every experience helped me become a better employee. However, they aren't right for everyone.

I just hate to see these students stuck in classes they hate knowing that they are going to hate their careers. Most people end up switching careers (not just jobs) more than once, anyway. I feel like it is best to get as much and as broad an education as possible so that you are marketable when it is time to find that next career.

 

[Calliaz]

Most kids that go into STEM fields end up working in the field they had decided upon in school. Yes, you do find the engineer who became a finance manager or the chemist who did better in sales, but they are in the fields they choose for the most part. You can't argue the data and the jobs are highly shifting to the STEM fields with the medical field really taking off.

No reason to take offense to the facts, as the job world is changing. We now have burger flippers demanding $15 an hour for their "un-skilled" labor. To each their own, but again the numbers don't lie.

Please, show me your facts. Here are some I found:

"75% of those who held a bachelor's degree in a STEM field didn't actually work in a STEM job." http://insights.dice.com/2014/07/31/stem-graduates-not-using-degrees/

"Michael S. Teitelbaum, vice president of the Sloan Foundation, opined that there are no general shortages of scientists and engineers.9 He went even further, to state that there is evidence suggesting surpluses: there are significantly more science and engineering graduates in the United States than attractive positions available in the workforce. Similarly, B. Lindsay Lowell and Harold Salzman have pointed to the disproportionate percentage of bachelor’s degree STEM holders not employed in STEM occupations." http://www.bls.gov/opub/mlr/2015/article/stem-crisis-or-stem-surplus-yes-and-yes.htm

What is most important is fit for the person.

 

[dacraig09]

My parents paid for my college and an allowance as long as I kept up my grades. The agreement was they would pay for it and if I didn't make at least a "C" in any given class I would have to pay them back for it. It kept me motivated to do well.

 

[disfanforlife]

We currently have 2 in college. Fortunately we started 529 when they were very young and both are in state schools and have scholarships. We pay 50% and their grandparents pay 50%. They are very lucky. But they are both hard working and get good grades too. They do have summer jobs and use their own money for spending throughout the school year. Our oldest graduates in May, our younger DD is going to be going to grad school too and our youngest DS is still in HS. With all of that being said, we would not have done the same if they had chosen a private school. They definitely would have had to take out loans for that.
Also, our oldest changed her major once and our younger DD has changed her major 3 times!

 

[bluezy]

Please, show me your facts. Here are some I found:

"75% of those who held a bachelor's degree in a STEM field didn't actually work in a STEM job." http://insights.dice.com/2014/07/31/stem-graduates-not-using-degrees/

...

What is most important is fit for the person.

That's exactly right. Trying to tell your child (especially when they're not even in high school yet) what *they* want to be when they grow up (based on a parent's idea of what a good career is) is just a recipe for disaster. I sure as heck know I wouldn't have wanted my parents telling me what to do with my life. A very large percentage of college students change their major somewhere along the way. Our oldest son "knew" in 10th grade that he wanted to be a lawyer. That's all he talked about throughout high school. Long story short, he changed his major 3 times and ended up with a degree in Accounting which is a much better fit for him that law school ever would have been. He's always been a "numbers" guy and I figured he'd end up in that field one way or another. He's very happy with his career choice (not a traditional accounting/numbers career, but one that suits him and he loves). He needed to find his way to that career/destination himself. Our second son never knew what he wanted to do until he started applying to colleges. He's now a teacher and he loves his job. Neither boy is in a high-salary career, but both are happy and financially comfortable while doing what *they* want to do...not what *I* told them to do. Son #3 has been accepted into the college of engineering at the schools he's applied to. He plans to go into computer/software engineering. I think it's a good career choice for him, but who knows if that's what he'll actually complete a degree in. It really doesn't matter to us. Our children are free to do what they want to when they graduate from high school (<gasp> we don't even tell them they *have* to go to college period!) It's their life; their choices. They're much more likely to be genuinely happy and successful if they're doing what *they* want to do as opposed to what a parent or test score tells them they should do.

 

[bluezy]

Hmmm, maybe a liberal arts degree isn't such a bad idea after all.... ;-)

https://hbr.org/2016/01/digital-companies-need-more-liberal-arts-majors

 

[kamik86]

My parents deal with me is that I would take the max subsidized federal loan I could and they would cover the rest after scholarhips etc. It ended up with me and my parents both on the hook for about 20K.

However I was a software engineering major and even graduating in 2009 just as the recession was starting to really make all the business and some of the other majors worry, everyone in major that I would think would be a good hire (and some that I didn't) had jobs lined up before graduation. No one that I knew of took an offer under 50K, the highest I knew of started at 85K but in a major city. I was near the middle at 62K but still more then enough that I have not had to struggle to pay my student loans, even managed to buy a house, take vacations, and start saving for retirement.

However as mentioned there are other paths. Neither of my nieces that are past high school age have done traditional colleges. One has done a series of cosmetology type courses, (Hair, makeup, etc). She was able to do this very cheap as she was able to still live at home and because her mom works for a local trade school she was able to attend the other branch very cheaply (maybe for free not sure exactly). She has a job and seems to be doing pretty well. Also makes quite a bit on the side doing hair for all her family and friends (including mine and my husbands) works out well as we pay less to her then we would in a salon but she gets paid more then she would at work either since she gets the full amount.

 

[tracyz]

We took a little different road here. We saved for DD's college, but she wasn't a highly motivated student through high school. Even through her senior year, she eeked by and our threats not to waste our money on her college tuition if she couldn't demonstrate that she would be motivated fell on deaf ears. She did plan to go to college, though, and gained admission to a state college even with her less than stellar grades. Our solution: she took a full-time job for a year, living with us, so that she could save money to pay for the first semester up front. At the conclusion of each semester, we would reimburse 100% of her tuition (including room and board) for any class in which she received an A or B. For a C, we reimbursed half. Lower than that, it was money out of her pocket that she didn't get back. So in theory, as long as she maintained B's or better, she would be reimbursed for the semester and have the funds to cover the next.
Also, for my less than motivated student, I think a year off in the reality of the working world (the one you end up in without a college education) was a great chance to grow up a little and gain some perspective.

 

[mmfox316]

I pay the entire cost. However, my DD has always been a great student and takes it seriously. She listened and went to a state school so the cost was lower. If she didn't I would want her to atleast pay some. Her on campus job is for pizza money.

 

[SimbaLover]

We pay for 2 years at a community college and they split their dad's GI Bill for the rest. That includes a monthly stipend for housing. Oldest is 14 and has already scored high enough on her ACT (only need a 32) for a free ride to several schools but is aiming for the Naval Academy which of course is free. She has told us her brother can have her portion of the GI Bill but we will see.

 

[DisHmsklMom]

For those of you with money-motivated students, look into the college level exams (CLEP, Dantes, ect...). Check out your end point college to see which exams they will accept; look at the core course requirements for your intended major and match up the exams, study up and test for your credits. Huge money saver, test out of those first 2 years if possible, enter as a freshman with a ton of credits. In our family's experience, the college admission people were very impressed by the motivation and awarded nice scholarships.
Even passing just a few exams adds up quickly in the land of college dollars.

 

[MomToOne]

My deal with DD15 is that I will do everything in my power to get her out of school without loans, and without her having to contribute. She has a learning disability, so asking her to hold a job to pay for things AND keep up decent grades is not something I am going to push her to do. I won't write off contributing to my retirement at all, but I will deny myself other things like vacations, new cars, etc to make this happen. And it doesn't mean she gets to go to any college - it means going to a local college while living at home. (I did it and survived just fine, so can she) I can swing at least 4 years in that case, probably more if she wants grad school.

 

[georgina]

Good luck with that. We're a very STEM-centric household--DH and I both have engineering degrees, and all my kids love science. In fifth grade, my oldest wanted to be a forensic pathologist. Things change--she's currently getting a degree in education. Interestingly, only one of the four is likely to be an engineer--our youngest. We've been saying he'll be an engineer for years, because there are a cluster of personality traits that are common in the engineering world, and he has them. To him, everything in life is a problem to be solved.

My point is, you can't just wave a magic wand and get a STEM kid. Nor should you consider STEM the only way to go, as others on this thread have mentioned. My oldest was born to be a teacher, and she's going to be an amazing one--it's absolutely the right choice for her, even though it's not a path that will make her rich or famous.

I have an engineering degree and DH is a chemist (3 kids). First kid went to college planning to major in international affairs, but discovered a love of economics and double majored. She is working as a business consultant and is doing well - she has the math skills needed and very good people skills and is planning to get an MBA next.

Second went in with a very narrow focus - video game design. He has a computer science degree and is doing well in his chosen field, although I do worry about job stability.

Last one I was sure would end up as a history or philosophy major - nope, she took her first ever computer science class in college and chose that as her major. Really floored us! But they all had a good basic education is all areas, including science and math in HS, which IMO is so important. And anyone who thinks my computer science DD has no people skills or can't think or write creatively would miss out on a great employee. She does attend a liberal arts school.

My DH, on the other hand, has never had any interest in being anything other than a research chemist and is happy doing that. And my DS has little in the way of people skills and that may limit him in the future.

 

[captainjen]

Do you pay 100% tuition? Room and board? Do they pay a portion or none at all? If they pay a portion, is it a % of the tuition and what amount do you use?

My DD is going into college in the fall. We would like her to have some responsibility for college but not sure what is fair. She works about 32 hours a week during the summer and has put 1/2 her pay aside for college. Going into college, she's going to major in graphic design and the schools she's looking at say that their programs are intense and that the kids won't have time for much else (not sure if that's accurate but what we're being told by the professors). We can afford up to a certain amount and she's got 3 schools she's deciding between. One of those is under our budget and the other 2 are over (1 by $2000 and 1 by $5000). I know we could stretch to cover these but her brother will be going to college 3 years after her so we do have to consider that as well. We do feel that students do better if they have some sort of share in the costs so it's not just OPM (other people's money) and that it helps them do better and to appreciate the education they are receiving. I want to make it so she has some "skin in the game" but not to the point of stressing her to the point she is only focused on earning money.

How do each of you handle tuition with your college student?

I grew up poor as punch so I am delighted to pay 100% of all college expenses both undergraduate and graduate. I did ask that all 3 of my children pick a major that would give them job opportunities that would support them in the future. I told my children that this was a gift for my children's, children's, children. Paying it forward so that future grandchildren will be able to break free of the cycle of poverty. All 3 of my children have bought homes, have good jobs and 2 out of three are married with wonderful mates Feeling grateful for all I have and all I was able to pay forwad

 

[danygirl]

The issue of parental contributions towards college expenses is a very sore subject for me. My parents took "skin in the game" to the extreme. So, like PPs, I (along with DH) hope to take a more balanced approach with our boys.

DS starts college in the fall, too. We said we'd pay up to $10k and his dad will pay about that much too per year. (Which sounds like a lot, but even our in-state universities have higher costs of attendance than that.) The rest would be up to him. Fortunately he's gotten major scholarship dollars. He's worked hard to "earn" that money, too.

Our general philosophy is that our boys will contribute in some way - scholarships and/or working - and we are willing to contribute up to a certain dollar amount. If they start failing, then they start picking up the tab.

A couple of practices I heard along the way stuck with me. My aunt and uncle had a policy where if my cousins failed a class, they were responsible for paying to take it again. That seemed fair to me. And then one of my good friends in school said this. "My father told me that I should view college as my job - work hard, study, make the most of the opportunities. In return, my "pay" is the cost of college. He didn't want me to HAVE to work so that I could focus on my studies." More than once did I wish my parents had had that same philosophy!

Granted, not every family has the ability to pay for college. But I will say this, there are LOTS of opportunities out there to get free tuition for lower income families. Since I'm a homeschool momma, I was my son's "guidance counselor." I looked at lots and lots of colleges and their financial aid options, and there really is a great deal of money out there. Some state universities have "sliding scale" tuition based solely on GPA and SAT/ACT scores; if you have high enough scores & grades, you can go tuition free! You or your child might just have to do the research and not rely solely on the school guidance counselor.

(WOW! Sorry for the ramblings. I didn't set out to write so much! You can tell I've been knee-deep in this for the past year +)

 

[danygirl]

Three kids, one graduated and employed in his field. He had a job within a month of graduating. One is doing her victory lap (5th year) and one is a sophomore. I work at the flagship university in our state. I get free tuition at my school and half price at the other schools in the state system. DS went to one of the half price schools and we covered tuition, fees and room and board when he lived on campus. When he got an apartment it was on him. DD1 went to my school and had an extra 5k per year scholarship. We covered the fees and room and board when she lived on campus. When she got an apartment she used her scholarship towards that. DD2 didn't want to go instate. We explained exactly how much money we had to spend, and she managed to get a full ride to her dream school. We pay room and board and we help pay for her annual training trip with the swim team. We do not give spending money, we do not pay sorority dues, etc. That is on them we learned with the first kid that skin in the game makes a difference. Our kids graduate debt free

 

[QueenIsabella]

I have an engineering degree and DH is a chemist (3 kids). First kid went to college planning to major in international affairs, but discovered a love of economics and double majored. She is working as a business consultant and is doing well - she has the math skills needed and very good people skills and is planning to get an MBA next.

Second went in with a very narrow focus - video game design. He has a computer science degree and is doing well in his chosen field, although I do worry about job stability.

Last one I was sure would end up as a history or philosophy major - nope, she took her first ever computer science class in college and chose that as her major. Really floored us! But they all had a good basic education is all areas, including science and math in HS, which IMO is so important. And anyone who thinks my computer science DD has no people skills or can't think or write creatively would miss out on a great employee. She does attend a liberal arts school.

My DH, on the other hand, has never had any interest in being anything other than a research chemist and is happy doing that. And my DS has little in the way of people skills and that may limit him in the future.

Funny how things work themselves out, isn't it? You know what they say--men plan, God laughs. It sounds like your kids have landed well, and that's the only thing that really matters.

 

[Mickeyluver37]

We are paying for 4 years of undergrad plus room and board per child. If one of them decides to do a program like engineering and it takes more than 4 years, we'd consider covering it. They are not getting an extra year just to screw around. DD is on track to graduate in 3.5 as she was a sophomore before her second semester started. Since we are just now getting started with the first child, I've realized she spends more than I expected, so she needs to work summers and breaks to pay for some of these extras. Circumstances worked that she got a small scholarship that covered books in the fall, and a marching band stipend that covered her books in the spring. I think we will continue with having her pay for books- it's good to have her researching the best price and counting the dollars instead of leaning on us. Being in the honors college at her school provides her with a laptop, so we don't have to worry about that either.

I am really curious as to how the kids who are not being helped at all are getting enough loans to pay for school beyond community college considering the federal Stafford loan limits. $7,500 PER YEAR is the max a Junior and Senior can take. Where are they coming up with the rest if the parents aren't signing for private loans? If they can't make it up in working and scholarships do they just not get to go?

I'm also seeing some need based terms thrown out here like subsidized loans, grants, and work study. It's easy to boast that you/your kid did it all on their own when they are qualified for need based aid that many students cannot qualify for. These have nothing to do with merit and everything to do with household income and family size. If you *don't* qualify for any of that and refuse to pay anything, it hurts the student even more.

 

[tzolkin]

I am really curious as to how the kids who are not being helped at all are getting enough loans to pay for school beyond community college considering the federal Stafford loan limits. $7,500 PER YEAR is the max a Junior and Senior can take. Where are they coming up with the rest if the parents aren't signing for private loans? If they can't make it up in working and scholarships do they just not get to go?

I'm also seeing some need based terms thrown out here like subsidized loans, grants, and work study. It's easy to boast that you/your kid did it all on their own when they are qualified for need based aid that many students cannot qualify for. These have nothing to do with merit and everything to do with household income and family size. If you *don't* qualify for any of that and refuse to pay anything, it hurts the student even more.

As for the first part, yes, I know several people who had parents with high incomes who were of the mindset "I did it myself, so you can too." The trouble is that regardless of whether a parent wants to contribute or not, their income is taken into account and education is exponentially more expensive. Some were able to do it on their own by going to less expensive schools or worked a few years and waited until they were old enough to not have the schools look at their parents financial info.

As for the second part, I was *lucky* enough to grow up in a poor family. My parents did not pay a penny toward my education (not even application fees or SATs), but I received a huge need-based grant from a prestigious private university so my $240K education only cost me about $12K (some loans, but I also worked 25-30hrs/wk throughout college). My parents still really have no concept of what the EFC is for a family with even a modest middle-class income. My oldest DD is a HS senior and there is really no way she would be able to afford college herself (state school with merit scholarship) without getting into way more debt than she should (not sure what the loan limits are for students). DH & I plan to pay for half (what we can afford right now) and if our financial position changes we will help her pay off any loans later.

We are also planning to save at least the same amount for our other two children. We were not able to save enough to fully cover DD's education because we are young (34), so during most of her early years DH & I were going to school ourselves and paying our student loans off rather than saving for her education. Being younger parents also increases our EFC because the asset protection allowance is less than half the amount for parents who are 50. The cost doesn't rise by too much, but an extra $1000 per year times 3 kids adds $12,000 to our total college expenses.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

DH went to college on a full ride football scholarship. My parents paid for my college - tuition, room, board & books. I had a summer job and a small on campus job, so I paid all my other expenses. I also helped with room and board one year by being an RA (free room) and running the meal plan at my sorority (free board).

Starting our lives together without student loan debt is the best gift my parents have ever given me!

DH & I have chosen to do the same thing for our children. We started 529 pre-paid tuition plans for both kids when they were little. Tuition and mandatory fees to our state schools are covered.

DS is a college freshman. He attends the #3 public university in the country. It runs us about $28,000 a year. There is very LITTLE merit aid available at his school...pretty much everyone there was a valedictorian or top 5% of their class. We do not qualify for need based aid. Tuition and fees are already paid through the 529. I took a better job 2 years ago so that we could pay his room, board and books out of our monthly income. Although his school is only an hour away, he lives on campus. Freshman are not allowed to commute; they must live in the dorms.

As for "skin in the game" (I also hate that phrase), he worked his butt off in high school with great grades, leadership stuff, and other activities to get accepted to his school. He has shown us he HAS skin in the game. His goal now is to get accepted into his school's undergrad business program at the end of sophomore year. He will need at least a 3.8, campus involvement and leadership positions to get accepted. He got a 3.82 last semester....he has skin in the game. If he had to work to pay his way through college, he'd have to kiss his dreams goodbye. He wouldn't have the time he has now for all that studying and all those leadership/campus activities. Commuting from home would also cut down on his campus involvement, so he will continue to live at school.

DD is an 11th grader. Right now she wants to get a BSN (nursing degree). We will give her the same support we are giving DS (tuition paid through the 529 at a state school, room, board and books paid from monthly income). Not all our state schools have nursing programs. If she decides to go to an out of state or private school, she will have to help somehow. Since she is interested in being a Navy nurse, she is looking at ROTC scholarships.

Both my kids have summer jobs. They save that money to pay for their own entertainment and extra expenses.