Curious .... what agreement do you have with your college student as far as tuition?

[havaneselover]

As far as the STEM vs. non-STEM, I see both sides. I have one child who is well suited for a STEM degree and another who isn't. My kids are 11 and 12 but I talk to them all the time about finding something they are good at, love, and will provide a good living (I work with labor force data for a living so I'm looking at these data daily). So I hope my non-STEM child who has extremely strong reading skills finds something to major in that will translate into a decent career.

My sister has a degree in Art History from Michigan (I almost think she did that to spite my parents). She's very smart and her math skills are very strong. But she paid for majoring in Art History. She now (at 50+) has a very good job that she only got because she passed a fairly rigorous math exam. But she struggled for years in jobs that didn't pay well and she didn't like. My ex's niece who is at a private university (I think she has 100% financial aid) is majoring in Art History. Ugh.

 

[Fierce Fairy]

Well I have two in college right now. One is taking a semester off to earn extra cash. She lives in her own apartment and pays her own bills. So we help as much as we can with tuition and books and things. My other daughter had no choice but to live off campus this school year because only freshmen are guaranteed dorms. We helped her out with tuition and school and apartment expenses till she found a job on campus in November. She now pays her own living expenses but we pay her tuition. I do think she appreciates the meaning behind a dollar just a little bit more now. I think her first two years of living in the dorms and having everything covered for her did not give her a sense of reality. She now is much better at time management and money management. So for us a hybrid of situations worked. Just do what you feel is right for your family and your financial situation.
By the way, we were so young and broke during our first 3 kids younger years a 529 was not on our radar. We have a 9 year old now that we are putting funds away for.

 

[AnnaS]

We paid the whole thing.

 

[redsonja76]

Our agreement is as follows:

Community college for the first two years, and you will get the Associates degree. Live at home, or pay your own living expenses. We cover all school costs of tuition, fees, and books. You must get B's or above. Get a C, pay me back for the class. Get a D, pay me back for the semester. Get an F, pay me back for the semester AND pay for the following semester. In that following semester if you get all A's and B's then I will pay again.

When you transfer to a four year school, I will again pay everything, grades dependent. I will not pay for frivolous extras such as eating out with friends, or shopping.

We also gave our daughter our old car, and will do the same when our youngest goes to school.

 

[redsonja76]

We have also started pushing our kids into the STEM sectors, even at young ages. I have a hard time paying for a 4 year college degree in a field that makes it very hard to get a return on that investment. Yes, there is a need for most degrees, but it is amazing to me how many kids go to college for: History, Psychology, Sociology, Philosophy, etc etc etc. Yes, all are valid degrees, until it comes to employment. I want my kids to know that the costs towards college will be covered in a line of work/career that is going to help them prosper down and hopefully and easier life. There is no guarantees, and I know there are a hundred stories of those in liberal arts fields with success in life, but it is not as easy as if you are in the STEM sector. Again, my opinion, but a very valid one.

Wow. Actually, really rude. My degree is in sociology, and before I decided to stay home I was making more money than my husband doing non medical case managing. A job I LOVED, that I got because of a degree that I LOVED. Push your kids into a career they don't want and they will be miserable. I would rather my children do what they love.

 

[redsonja76]

I have a hard time telling any student to take $60-80 thousand in debt for a job that will never give you return on that investment. For a new liberal arts graduate, how are they going to make payments on that loan with they are making $25-35 thousand a year? The numbers don't add up. There are very good technical schools and certificate programs out there as well, as a 4 year degree is not for everyone either. Yes, it is great to be passionate about your job/career, but it also has to make sense. Most of the people I know with liberal arts degrees, who are making decent to good pay, are doing so in jobs not even related to their degree (retail business, food services, insurance claims etc). So, I do agree you can succeed, it may not be in your area of training. Or, you better plan on grad school right from the start.

You are clearly uneducated about this. With my soc degree I make $70,000/year starting. My bff with her crazy religion degree, makes $58,000/year for the gov't. I suggest you rein yourself in before you offend damn near everyone on these boards with our so called worthless degrees.

 

[Patience]

My kids all did very well in college without the need for the awful phrase 'skin in the game'. Personally I don't believe it is necessary if college is affordable without loans. If it is not, by all means have them take out loans, but be careful of the total amount. Ours all worked in the summer or took classes to graduate early and provided all their spending money and some books. It probably depends on the specific student how they think about college and money.

I struggled to pay my own way through college and decided before I had kids I would not do that to them. They realize what a gift graduating with no debt is. My oldest 2 have great jobs and youngest, a junior, just landed a high paying internship with a major internet company for the summer.

This is us almost exactly. My husband and I decided early on that it was important to us that our kids not have to struggle to pay for college. Our oldest is a senior who will graduate from college in May. We paid for everything except spending money which she pays from her summer work earnings and from a small amount of money her grandmother gives her each month. She is currently waiting to hear from the graduate schools she applied to and we plan to help out with grad school expenses but haven't committed to pay for the whole thing. I know we will pay for her phone, car insurance, and health insurance while she's in grad school. I think we have decided that we will also give her some money at the start of each semester. Maybe $1000? We haven't made up our minds yet. Her masters program runs five semesters which includes a summer session.

 

[ADisneyQueen]

My oldest is a freshman in college. She has a full tuition academic scholarship and we pay for her room and board and all other expenses. She works part time in the summer and during Christmas break and the money she earns she uses for spending money and saves most of it for her study abroad semester (to pay for the airfare, travel, going out).
I graduated with a lot of loans and I'm trying to avoid that with my kids.

 

[bfost87]

I didn't realize parents paying for school was so common. I have/am paying 100% of my own tuition, etc

 

[4shinystars]

I guess we're terrible parents-we let our DDs decide for themselves what they want to do with their lives, and they both took out loans to cover what financial aid did not. They both knew how much was available for them from us. We had many discussions about what they were getting into, and they both chose the colleges that gave them the best financial aid (ended up at the same school,lol) It is their life, and they are in charge of their education. Both got generous merit aid.Both had work study jobs, and worked when they were home on breaks.
Oldest DD has a degree in..uhoh...Art and Design. She is currently working at a local business where part of her job is signage. She is paying on her loans, as well as saving money to move to a major city. We know at least 5 of her friends in her degree area all have jobs in the field, and are making good money. Funny thing is her 2 friends that got degrees in Engineering are having a hard time finding good jobs, 2-3 years after graduation.
Youngest DD is currently a double major in...uhoh...Psychology and Women's/Gender studies. (double whammy) Her goal is to counsel young women. She is passionate about it, and has already gotten accolades from the university. Not everyone is in it for the money. If they end up doing what they love, and are happy, healthy and earning a good living, then who am I or anyone else to say their choices are wrong?

 

[MichelleB]

I am very involved with most of my kids activities & have talked with a lot of kids. Most are telling me their parents pay for everything. I do know a few that parents are only helping with books, car ins, etc but that doesn't seem to be the norm in our area. I want my daughter to have the benefit of help but by having her work some to contribute also will teach her about how things work in the real world before she's out in it full time to earn a living. I think it will help ease her into it with us helping.

 

[madge]

How do each of you handle tuition with your college student?

we pay ... DS scholarship money covers tuition & housing, all he has OOP is his meal plan. he worked hard to get the scholarships, so we pay for that.

he pays for his fraternity expenses.

 

[TwoMisfits]

We will pay 4 years of tuition only for an instate school (we have one down the road and that's what we're basing our contribution on). We won't qualify for need aid, so anything our kids want above that (out of state tuition, room and board, books, etc) is on them to figure out how to afford (summer jobs, work study, merit aid, loans, ROTC and other scholarships, etc). The tuition itself will hurt (even with 529s, we won't have more than 2-3 semesters of tuition saved per kid), but I'm making the same deal with my kids that my parents made with theirs (and it worked for 6 kids)...

I should add...that's the money I'll contribute whether or not my kids earn merit aid or scholarship to pay for their tuition (so if they do, this money can go to room and board, books, etc). My parents' deal was to give us a gently used car (30K miles or less) of their choice if we got full rides (tuition/room and board). I got one, so I was the proud owner of a 3 year old Plymouth Sundance (they also paid all repairs, insurance, and gas to visit them from college during my 4 years - I paid for gas at college - as a replacement for the tuition money - once I graduated it, all these costs were mine). So, my kids are each looking at getting about $12K/year or $48K/total as our contribution, whether that goes to school or if school is less than $12K, their 1st cars...

 

[crisi]

As far as the STEM vs. non-STEM, I see both sides. I have one child who is well suited for a STEM degree and another who isn't. My kids are 11 and 12 but I talk to them all the time about finding something they are good at, love, and will provide a good living (I work with labor force data for a living so I'm looking at these data daily). So I hope my non-STEM child who has extremely strong reading skills finds something to major in that will translate into a decent career.

My sister has a degree in Art History from Michigan (I almost think she did that to spite my parents). She's very smart and her math skills are very strong. But she paid for majoring in Art History. She now (at 50+) has a very good job that she only got because she passed a fairly rigorous math exam. But she struggled for years in jobs that didn't pay well and she didn't like. My ex's niece who is at a private university (I think she has 100% financial aid) is majoring in Art History. Ugh.

I majored in Art History. I started making six figures before my kids were born (they are in high school now) - in a STEM field (I do IT management and have since about three years out of college.)

 

[havaneselover]

I majored in Art History. I started making six figures before my kids were born (they are in high school now) - in a STEM field (I do IT management and have since about three years out of college.)

Okay but I would never encourage someone who wants to go into IT management to get an art history degree.

 

[NY Pirate Princess]

OP, I have a 7 year old, so I have no idea what life will be like in 11 years. I started a 529 when she was 2, and it's my hope to have enough funds in there to fully pay for an associates at our local community college. What is most important to me is to provide her with options and tell her the truth about our circumstances. I will carefully explain money, debt, delayed gratification, college, and careers to her. I started all those topics including real life lessons a long time ago. In the end it is her life, her decisions, and her consequences. I hope she avoids student loans altogether. I don't think "going away" is required for a rewarding college experience. My child might require both, and I won't love her any less.

I want to help with college because we can, but I don't think it is any parent's responsibility to pay for college for their children. I am responsible to raise her with hope, love, and guidance. Provide for her care, her health, and her heart. I don't believe I'm obligated to buy her a degree, a car, a wedding, or a house. I will do everything I can, but I won't do everything.

As an aside to others, I majored in English Literature and I now make a nice living. I work for the government in something that has nothing to do with my major but is dependent on having a 4 year degree. I struggled for more than a decade and a half after graduation. I would advise pretty much any young person AGAINST a lit degree alone if they like staying warm, dry, and fed all the time.

 

[Marionnette]

I majored in Art History. I started making six figures before my kids were born (they are in high school now) - in a STEM field (I do IT management and have since about three years out of college.)

I get the feeling, with the way technology programs have expanded at universities, that you would be competing with highly-qualified IT majors for that same position today. I'm not saying that your degree is worthless, or that you do not perform well in your job. I'm just pointing out that 15-20 years ago, there were more IT positions available than we had individuals to fill them. If the job you took 3 years out of college were open today, those making the hiring decision would be looking at people with IT degrees first and might never get around to considering the applicant with an art history degree.

IMO, the purpose of acquiring a college education is to make yourself employable in a field that you both enjoy AND provides an income that justifies the cost of the education. All 3 of my children chose to study STEM fields. The boys had jobs waiting for them when they graduated. Our daughter is in her last year of medical school where the majority of her classmates majored in STEM fields (those that didn't, had to take prereq courses that had a heavy STEM emphasis).

 

[crisi]

Okay but I would never encourage someone who wants to go into IT management to get an art history degree.

I don't know many eighteen year olds who know what they want to do for the rest of their lives.

 

[crisi]

I get the feeling, with the way technology programs have expanded at universities, that you would be competing with highly-qualified IT majors for that same position today. I'm not saying that your degree is worthless, or that you do not perform well in your job. I'm just pointing out that 15-20 years ago, there were more IT positions available than we had individuals to fill them. If the job you took 3 years out of college were open today, those making the hiring decision would be looking at people with IT degrees first and might never get around to considering the applicant with an art history degree.

IMO, the purpose of acquiring a college education is to make yourself employable in a field that you both enjoy AND provides an income that justifies the cost of the education. All 3 of my children chose to study STEM fields. The boys had jobs waiting for them when they graduated. Our daughter is in her last year of medical school where the majority of her classmates majored in STEM fields (those that didn't, had to take prereq courses that had a heavy STEM emphasis).

I've hired people, and no. There are IT management majors, but the majority of people we hire into management we start as business analysts or project managers or systems analyst - those aren't jobs we look for IT degrees for - they are jobs we look for liberal arts majors.

My experience, and the experience of a LOT of IT managers I work with is that we prefer liberal arts majors to groom to management. Not business majors and not STEM majors. STEM majors tend to make the worst managers, they haven't been taught to think broadly and don't tend to be wired for it. Business majors tend to be political animals who look out for themselves over the company.

 

[havaneselover]

I don't know many eighteen year olds who know what they want to do for the rest of their lives.

I know a lot of my peers knew in high school and ended up doing what they thought they would.

I work with labor force data for a living so I have access to lots of good data at the detailed occupation level (average wage, entry level wage, experienced wage, education requirement, historical growth, projected growth, unemployment rate, etc.) We also map degrees to occupations. We would not map an art history degree to IT management.

Kids may not know exactly what they want to do but there's a lot of information available to help them make good choices. If they want a six figure job, Art History probably isn't the way to go. All the one person case studies (mine included) don't change that.