When should parents start making their girls wear shirts around the house and yard?

[brookmey]

Modesty does not need to have a sexual basis. My son is 3. If I did not instruct him otherwise, he would whip out his ***** in public for the sheer joy of it. He is very proud of his *****. There is nothing sexual in his desire to get naked. There is nothing sexual in my desire to keep him appropriately clothed with the ***** put away while I pay for groceries. He is instructed to keep his pants and shirt and shoes on in stores. Modesty has to do with cultural norms for body coverage in various settings. If it was the cultural norm to wear a hat, we would do that, too.

Thanks for the laugh!

My 4 year old DS is exactly the same way. He cannot keep his hands off his junk and often whips it out on his way to the bathroom, regardless of where we are. It's about teaching our kids what's appropriate for the situation, and that includes what clothing is appropriate.

 

[FireDancer]

They are only going to be embarrassed if they are taught that a 6 year old shirtless body is not ok and something to be embarrassed about.

Parents who are raising their kids more conservatively wouldn't have pictures of them shirtless at 6.

Parents who think it is ok to be shirtless at 6 are probably instilling those values into their kids too, so no reason to be embarrassed later in life.

I get it, your kids wouldn't care. Someone else's might and no matter what values you attempt to instill in your children at some point they become their own people and have their own values. They might be different than yours and they might be embarrassed.

I really don't care what other people do but they need to think first and not just go "well, I am raising them one way so they will be that way forever". I know a lot of people who are nothing like their parents in many ways.

I'm very immodest when it comes to my body but I'd never assume that down the road my kids would be no matter what values I try to instill in them. They will be their own people.

 

[bumbershoot]

She really felt that sticking me IN a bikini was immodest. Letting me go topless - that was no problem at all.

I feel the same way.

why not? There is nothing on a 6 year old to be embarrassed about. My parents have hundreds of pictures of me running around at 6 without a top. Many of them are in frames hanging on the wall, on the piano, etc.

Never once was I embarrassed if my friends saw them because I was never made to feel ashamed of my body. And since there was nothing there to see, I never saw the big deal of it.

Internet? I probably wouldn't post 6 year olds, but I don't see anything wrong with another parent doing it. There is nothing shameful of a 6 year old running around topless. Unless they are experiencing early puberty and already have a bit more than a 6 year old boy.

At that age, there is absolutely nothing different between a topless 6 year old girl or a topless 6 year old boy.

I feel the same way.

Even on my closed-up FB account I only post, if I post any, clothed pix of my kid. I think the one shirtless pic I have online of DS is when he was IN the pool, using a pool noodle, so really all you see are his shoulders anyway.

So it's the posting part of it that I'm uncomfortable with...not the girl in just bottoms part.

never heard of it and we live in FL where minimal clothing is a must most of the year. I mean, why would kids go around the house half dressed?

you have air conditioning, don't you?

When we visited my grandma in Florida, she did NOT have it. Relied on the river breezes, fans, and open doors to cool the place. So yeah, we weren't wearing many clothes! Same at our home in California, because didn't have ac.

I don't have AC here. On the hot days, DS has been running around topless, even sleeping topless, because he feels cooler without a shirt on.

If we had air conditioning, it might be different.

 

[marcyinPA]

A friend of mine just posted some pictures of her kids playing in the pool in their backyard, and then around the house after they'd gotten out of the pool. The daughter is six and is shirtless in all the pics; she only has on a bathing suit bottom.

I'm not saying I have a problem with this, but I'm just curious. I have no kids and no sisters, so it's never come up in my life.

Should a parent begin to teach their daughters to wear a top, even long before they've developed?

You know, if they are in their own backyard, and the child is comfortable this way, then I don't see a problem with it. However, I don't think I'd be posting pictures on Facebook or the internet. Too many loonies out there.

 

[Magpie]

never really thought about it, but as a parent of 2 girls - they have never gone without a shirt or some sort of bathing suit...really do most kids go topless for a majority of their young life? never heard of it and we live in FL where minimal clothing is a must most of the year. I mean, why would kids go around the house half dressed?

and I do think it's kind of odd for the op to bring this up...just a weird topic.

I once babysat for an Inuit family. They'd just moved down from the North. Their rule was - if you go outside you HAVE to have a bottom on (usually shorts, no undies, but occasionally the other way around). But inside the house their children were mostly naked as jaybirds. The eight year old would cover up around me, but not so much around his family.

I was informed it was a "cultural thing". So, I just went with the flow. I will say, though, I WAS kind of disturbed to see their 4yo standing on a chair to eat his cereal with his little wee thing hanging over the bowl. I made him sit down properly.

I don't know what "most" people do. I suppose you'd have to look at China's cultural practices around childhood nudity, since most of the world's population is Chinese.

 

[cornflake]

never really thought about it, but as a parent of 2 girls - they have never gone without a shirt or some sort of bathing suit...really do most kids go topless for a majority of their young life? never heard of it and we live in FL where minimal clothing is a must most of the year. I mean, why would kids go around the house half dressed?

Why wouldn't they? Most of the time *I* go around the house half dressed. It's my house, I'm not wearing full outfits and shoes and such in it unless I just walked in or have company over (in which case I'm still not wearing shoes and neither are they, but I digress).

In my experience little kids are unclothed a lot. I mean if you've got a baby in the house, is it always dressed to the nines? They need a diaper, maybe some days a diaper and a tshirt or a onesie. If they're feeling really formal maybe something with feet but it's just a pain to change them and they're at least as happy without so...unless you're going out, why bother?

I also don't think I've met many toddlers who weren't streakers.

The bathing suit thing I've always found weird. Especially the bikini thing, it looks utterly bizarre and, I agree, sexualized. Europeans look at us very weird when they see babies and toddlers and small kids in swimsuits at all.

 

[lillygator]

Why wouldn't they? Most of the time *I* go around the house half dressed. It's my house, I'm not wearing full outfits and shoes and such in it unless I just walked in or have company over (in which case I'm still not wearing shoes and neither are they, but I digress).

In my experience little kids are unclothed a lot. I mean if you've got a baby in the house, is it always dressed to the nines? They need a diaper, maybe some days a diaper and a tshirt or a onesie. If they're feeling really formal maybe something with feet but it's just a pain to change them and they're at least as happy without so...unless you're going out, why bother?

I also don't think I've met many toddlers who weren't streakers.

The bathing suit thing I've always found weird. Especially the bikini thing, it looks utterly bizarre and, I agree, sexualized. Europeans look at us very weird when they see babies and toddlers and small kids in swimsuits at all.

I guess half dressed to me meant (on a girl) no shirt...my children have never been "unclothed" alot...I am about to have another baby - a boy and while he won't be dressed to the nines he'll in the very least always have on a onesie...I just don't ever see a need for a child to be sitting around for any length of time in just a diaper...we've just never done it, or had a need to I guess.

of course when we get home we all get in clothes that are minimal and comfy but the point I was trying to make - in all of their 8 and 6 years my girls have never gone around the house lounging in bottoms and no shirt...to me that is not a normal thing to do.

 

[CathrynRose]

I think you should probably think about something else

Yes, indeed.

Just wondering what the board members feel is the proper age to start teaching about modesty.

Modesty or pride?

If she's comfortable, who cares? Children learn "modesty" on their own. Im pretty confident, she won't be topless at someone elses home, or at school.

MYOB, IMO, YMMV.

 

[cmwade77]

I would say day one, it tends to instill a sense of modesty

 

[PrincessShmoo]

I would say day one, it tends to instill a sense of modesty

I think the question was answered about 5 years ago.

 

[sonnyjane]

I would say day one, it tends to instill a sense of modesty

I think the question was answered about 5 years ago.
View attachment 148236

Maybe cmwade77 was just chiming in to make sure that the girl in question had increased her "sense of modesty".

 

[mjkacmom]

Why bring up this creepy ancient thread to state creepy opinions.

 

[ronandannette]

Why bring up this creepy ancient thread to state creepy opinions.

Why not? By now practically every regular CB participant knows very well how the zombie threads are resurrected. The DIS has, for some reason "built-them-in" to the new board format. They are there, people click and read them and then maybe choose to post. What on earth makes this such a big deal? The posters that regularly rush to identify the threads as zombies and call out anybody who posts on them are IMO, not clever or insightful anymore...we all get it already.

 

[mjkacmom]

Why not? By now practically every regular CB participant knows very well how the zombie threads are resurrected. The DIS has, for some reason "built-them-in" to the new board format. They are there, people click and read them and then maybe choose to post. What on earth makes this such a big deal? The posters that regularly rush to identify the threads as zombies and call out anybody who posts on them are IMO, not clever or insightful anymore...we all get it already.

Not trying to be clever - some zombie posts are ridiculous because people are giving advice to a specific situation, long past. This particular thread deals with sexualizing of young girls and babies - I just find it disastful, especially as it is resurected by someone who's opinion is so extreme.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I think she should cover up after 40 when gravity starts to take its toll.

 

[ronandannette]

Not trying to be clever - some zombie posts are ridiculous because people are giving advice to a specific situation, long past. This particular thread deals with sexualizing of young girls and babies - I just find it disastful, especially as it is resurected by someone who's opinion is so extreme.

Pretty much everybody's opinion is "extreme" to somebody who doesn't agree with it. And if you read through the thread, which I actually did a week or so ago (yes, off a link at the bottom ) you'd find you probably actually like most of the input - it was fairly heavily weighted towards those that did NOT see topless youngsters as an issue and some posters firmly berated anybody that did.

ETA: Just for fun, here's my opinion: I never had a daughter; I have a son. We made a point of training him to wear weather-appropriate clothes at all times both in the privacy of our home and outside it. If he'd been a girl that would have always included a top. Why? I don't feel that either covering or uncovering your body speaks one way or the other to "esteem"; I agree more with the PP way up-thread somewhere that identified it as (generally) being a cultural norm with which I am comfortable. As always YMMV.

 

[Magpie]

Why bring up this creepy ancient thread to state creepy opinions.

I just reread the entire thread. The only thing I found "creepy" were the small minority of posters who think it's somehow creepy to discuss cultural norms in children's dress and deportment.

Fun fact, in rural mainland China some small children still wear "split pants" that leave their bottoms entirely exposed. These folks don't diaper their Infants or toddlers. And hilariously, just as most urban Chinese parents are switching to diapers (considering split pants unhygenic and embarrassing) some North American parents are embracing "elimination communication" and exchanging diapers for split pants. Which is something that would make toplessness at the backyard pool the least of your concerns.

It's a big beautiful world!

 

[Kitty 34]

I just read the whole thread and found a lot of posters that I don't see anymore.

 

[tiggergal15]

 

[Kitty 34]

Welcome to the Community Board, Tiggergal15! Why the popcorn?