Grmnshplvr
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2014
I'm going to let out a little vent here. My BIL is 40 years old, has been couch and job hopping since he was in his late teens. Has never held down a job for more than a few months and has never had his own apartment or house. He has gone from living at home, to grandparents, uncles, friends, girlfriends parents, back with his mom now. He has asked us several times if he could stay on our couch or in our garage...My husband said he'd be ok with it but I am not. He continues to ask even though the answer from me continues to be no. My children are 14 and 10 and they have met him maybe 5 times. It would be no different than inviting a stranger to come live with us. He is a slob and doesn't even pay rent when he does stay on someones couch. I am not supporting him, nor do I feel bad for the situation he is in. He is not homeless because of bad luck, he is homeless because of the consistent bad choices he has made. How is this my responsibility? He is always asking for a ride, money, place to stay etc. Every person in my husbands family has enabled him to the point that he now feels entitled to everyone else's stuff. I am the only one that does not feel sorry for him in the least. He will work for a few months, blow his money on video games and concerts, has a restricted license because he owes so many DMV fines, then he'll get lazy and quit the next job.
Yesterday he TOLD me he was thinking about house sitting for us while we are in Disney at the end of the month. He totally put me on the spot in front of their family and mine at our daughters birthday party. He even suggested it as if he was doing me a favor by staying in my house for the week. Then he says "I'll bring my own bed sheets for when my girlfriend comes". I swear on my children I could not make this up if I tried. Long story short, his girlfriend lives 5 hours away because her parents got sick of him mooching off them and kicked him out, so he came back here to live with MIL (after we told him no several times)
His girlfriend still lives with her parents (also 36 year old) but apparently they had enough of supporting him and finally kicked him out. His plan is for them to basically bum around my home for a week so they can have a place to themselves for a bit. He tried to make me feel guilty by telling me how awful it is at his moms. To me the perfect solution to that would be to get a job and get your own place for once in your life but what do I know.
After the party I told my husband I thought it was incredibly rude for his brother to put me on the spot like that in front of everyone. My husband doesn't seem to think its a big deal at all and that we should just let him stay. If he stays 1 week he may never leave! He lived with his girlfriends parents for the better part of 10 years! This continues to be an issue for my husband and I whenever it is brought up or he asks again. My husband gets very defensive when it comes to his older brother. I love my brother too but I am not blind to his behavior either.
Yesterday he TOLD me he was thinking about house sitting for us while we are in Disney at the end of the month. He totally put me on the spot in front of their family and mine at our daughters birthday party. He even suggested it as if he was doing me a favor by staying in my house for the week. Then he says "I'll bring my own bed sheets for when my girlfriend comes". I swear on my children I could not make this up if I tried. Long story short, his girlfriend lives 5 hours away because her parents got sick of him mooching off them and kicked him out, so he came back here to live with MIL (after we told him no several times)
His girlfriend still lives with her parents (also 36 year old) but apparently they had enough of supporting him and finally kicked him out. His plan is for them to basically bum around my home for a week so they can have a place to themselves for a bit. He tried to make me feel guilty by telling me how awful it is at his moms. To me the perfect solution to that would be to get a job and get your own place for once in your life but what do I know.
After the party I told my husband I thought it was incredibly rude for his brother to put me on the spot like that in front of everyone. My husband doesn't seem to think its a big deal at all and that we should just let him stay. If he stays 1 week he may never leave! He lived with his girlfriends parents for the better part of 10 years! This continues to be an issue for my husband and I whenever it is brought up or he asks again. My husband gets very defensive when it comes to his older brother. I love my brother too but I am not blind to his behavior either.