When does being frugal become unethical?

[Marionnette]

Who is expecting someone to condemn someone they don't know? I'm not seeking "confirmation of my feelings" from strangers on the internet. It is my belief that someone who commits these ACTIONS is no good which would apply to your SIL too, if she does things like this. Please don't comment on something you don't know anything about. You didn't have to reply after your initial comment and you can merely exit this thread. I've heard your opinion and would like to hear from others.

You said this:

Thanks everyone for confirming my feeling that she's no good. My moral compass told me to RUN!! I'm glad I listened.

It certainly reads like someone looking for confirmation of their feelings.

 

[crisi]

Frugal becomes unethical when you lie, or when it costs someone else money (including a corporation profit - I'm a Disney shareholder, that's my money she deprives me of (granted its a fractional cent) when she fakes a Florida ID).

Frugal becomes illegal when you break the law. That includes forging identification and probably lying about her marital status to the school.

 

[PollyannaMom]

...She claims that she could not afford to go without doing these things...

Then the truth is - she cannot afford to go. I'm not sure when our society shifted from the idea that not being able to afford something was normal, and being able to was fantastic, to the idea that everyone is entitled to everything?

I agree with you that all of the examples you described in the OP are unethical.

 

[Ngwira]

Some good opinions in this thread. We are all trying to save a buck, but some people take it too far imho. What about reading an entire book at a barnes and noble instead of buying it? Unethical or frugal?

 

[ELSA711]

If you have to lie and cheat then it's stealing and unethical

 

[mondragon]

I see a lot of ways to save money as unethical but others may see it as being frugal. For example at disney I saw a few things that disturbed me. Saw a dad filling up a beat up zepherhills water bottle in the bathroom sink for his kids to drink from. Those bottles contain bacteria after they sit around for a little bit. Saw 2 teenage boys sharing a kids meal in a counter service restaurant while the parents at the next table were enjoying their own meals. The kids were scraping ketchup from the plate. Was staying at Gaylord palms once and there was a family of 4 in the lobby asking others staying there to give them a ride to the parks. The father asked me if I cound bring them. Told him the hotel offers transportation and he said that he does not want to pay and the parking is too expensive at the parks so he figured someone can give him a ride and he can save on parking. Told him good luck.

 

[Ngwira]

I see a lot of ways to save money as unethical but others may see it as being frugal. For example at disney I saw a few things that disturbed me. Saw a dad filling up a beat up zepherhills water bottle in the bathroom sink for his kids to drink from. Those bottles contain bacteria after they sit around for a little bit. Saw 2 teenage boys sharing a kids meal in a counter service restaurant while the parents at the next table were enjoying their own meals. The kids were scraping ketchup from the plate. Was staying at Gaylord palms once and there was a family of 4 in the lobby asking others staying there to give them a ride to the parks. The father asked me if I cound bring them. Told him the hotel offers transportation and he said that he does not want to pay and the parking is too expensive at the parks so he figured someone can give him a ride and he can save on parking. Told him good luck.

I personally don't think any of those things are unethical. Filling water from a sink, buying kids meals for adults ( i eat small meals and will be purchasing them on my upcoming trip) and hitching a ride bcos you don't want to pay is not unethical imho. Now if the hitchhikers snuck on the bus without paying, that would be unethical...

 

[worm761]

Some good opinions in this thread. We are all trying to save a buck, but some people take it too far imho. What about reading an entire book at a barnes and noble instead of buying it? Unethical or frugal?

I'd say unethical. They are a book seller. If you want to read and not pay, go to the library where you are welcome to read and not pay.

 

[Ngwira]

I'd say unethical. They are a book seller. If you want to read and not pay, go to the library where you are welcome to read and not pay.

Well, one could argue that they have comfy chairs there for patrons to read books.....

 

[worm761]

I see a lot of ways to save money as unethical but others may see it as being frugal. For example at disney I saw a few things that disturbed me. Saw a dad filling up a beat up zepherhills water bottle in the bathroom sink for his kids to drink from. Those bottles contain bacteria after they sit around for a little bit. Saw 2 teenage boys sharing a kids meal in a counter service restaurant while the parents at the next table were enjoying their own meals. The kids were scraping ketchup from the plate. Was staying at Gaylord palms once and there was a family of 4 in the lobby asking others staying there to give them a ride to the parks. The father asked me if I cound bring them. Told him the hotel offers transportation and he said that he does not want to pay and the parking is too expensive at the parks so he figured someone can give him a ride and he can save on parking. Told him good luck.

What is unethical about any of those things?

Well, one could argue that they have comfy chairs there for patrons to read books.....

True. And I use those chairs to figure out what book I'm going to buy. Or to read the book we're buying DD while DH spends entirely too long looking at books trying to find one he doesn't already own.

 

[mondragon]

I personally don't think any of those things are unethical. Filling water from a sink, buying kids meals for adults ( i eat small meals and will be purchasing them on my upcoming trip) and hitching a ride bcos you don't want to pay is not unethical imho. Now if the hitchhikers snuck on the bus without paying, that would be unethical...

Would you share that kids meal with another adult? So it's ok to give your kids sink water instead of cold clean water.

How about this. I am sure many have done this. Stealing napkins from chipotle. I have seen it many times where I see someone take a huge stack with them and leave along with dozens of sugar packets. You know they are just stockpiling at home. I think that is unethical/stealing.

 

[a742246]

To the op:

She is a thief plan and simple. One day she will get caught!

I would hate to be her employer, I could only image what she "adopts".

 

[Ngwira]

Would you share that kids meal with another adult? So it's ok to give your kids sink water instead of cold clean water.

How about this. I am sure many have done this. Stealing napkins from chipotle. I have seen it many times where I see someone take a huge stack with them and leave along with dozens of sugar packets. You know they are just stockpiling at home. I think that is unethical/stealing.

No, I would not do that, but it's not like it's child abuse or anything... taking napkins or extra ketchup CAN BE unethical...again it depends. Taking an extra packet or two..no, but taking the whole supply..yes.

 

[Ngwira]

What about buying all of a loss leader so that no one else can purchase it (for example all the toothpaste that was a on sale and that has a coupon)..unethical or no?

 

[Ngwira]

What is unethical about any of those things?




True. And I use those chairs to figure out what book I'm going to buy. Or to read the book we're buying DD while DH spends entirely too long looking at books trying to find one he doesn't already own.

That's what the chairs are for..not to come in everyday and read an ENTIRE book that is for purchase.

 

[Ngwira]

What about taking towels or lotions and soap and robes from a hotel that you are staying in? Unethical or frugal?

 

[worm761]

Would you share that kids meal with another adult? So it's ok to give your kids sink water instead of cold clean water.

How about this. I am sure many have done this. Stealing napkins from chipotle. I have seen it many times where I see someone take a huge stack with them and leave along with dozens of sugar packets. You know they are just stockpiling at home. I think that is unethical/stealing.

Sharing a kids meal between two adults is still not unethical as long as the restaurant allows an adult to purchase a kids meal. I often get kids meals. Stealing napkins/condiments is stealing. Stealing is always stealing. I take enough for my family's use plus one or two more in case there is a spill.

And what is so wrong with tap water? It is clean. I mean, it's gross to get it from a public bathroom but not unethical. I don't drink tap water personally unless it has gone through my filter but that's because our water is gross here. There's nothing unethical with drinking tap water.

What about buying all of a loss leader so that no one else can purchase it (for example all the toothpaste that was a on sale and that has a coupon)..unethical or no?

As long as the store has not put a disclaimer that only a certain amount may be bought by each person, no it isn't unethical. If I have an unlimited amount I can purchase and I have coupons that make my deodorant 50 cents each, I'm going to buy as many as I have coupons for. That's just being smart with your own money. Whether or not there is more for other people to purchase is the store's responsibility and not mine. Though I rarely remember to use a coupon so I'd never do it. I just don't find following the stores rules unethical if it means they run out. What if it is only 2 items but there aren't any more? Should they only buy 1 or leave them for someone else?

What about taking towels or lotions and soap and robes from a hotel that you are staying in? Unethical or frugal?

Lotions and soaps are meant to be used by the person staying in the room. Stealing towels and robes is stealing. Stealing is always unethical.

 

[Ngwira]

Sharing a kids meal between two adults is still not unethical as long as the restaurant allows an adult to purchase a kids meal. I often get kids meals. Stealing napkins/condiments is stealing. Stealing is always stealing. I take enough for my family's use plus one or two more in case there is a spill.

And what is so wrong with tap water? It is clean. I mean, it's gross to get it from a public bathroom but not unethical. I don't drink tap water personally unless it has gone through my filter but that's because our water is gross here. There's nothing unethical with drinking tap water.



As long as the store has not put a disclaimer that only a certain amount may be bought by each person, no it isn't unethical. If I have an unlimited amount I can purchase and I have coupons that make my deodorant 50 cents each, I'm going to buy as many as I have coupons for. That's just being smart with your own money. Whether or not there is more for other people to purchase is the store's responsibility and not mine. Though I rarely remember to use a coupon so I'd never do it. I just don't find following the stores rules unethical if it means they run out. What if it is only 2 items but there aren't any more? Should they only buy 1 or leave them for someone else?



Lotions and soaps are meant to be used by the person staying in the room. Stealing towels and robes is stealing. Stealing is always unethical.

I agree with everything you said. However, I do think that one should leave some items for the next person to buy. I try to leave a few for someone else. Taking them ALL, I think isn't right. Someone else could use that item too.

 

[brooke789]

I wasn't expecting the OP to have the examples it did. Clearly, that stuff is wrong is not illegal.

I was actually going to share about a local 'frugal' person who was doing a segment on the news with clever tips to save money (groceries, household, etc). The first time I saw her segment she advised taking scissors into the grocery store and cutting the stem part off the bananas you're buying so you don't pay for those. I'm not sure that it was wrong, but it definitely feels like it to me, so I never watched any more of her tips and certainly did not take her advice.

 

[usnuzuloose]

She is being very dishonest and wants to lie and is justifying it any way she can. If it were me, I would walk away from the friendship. I can't tell you what to do. At some point it will come to an end. I knew someone like that, but was not friends with them. So sad people want to do these things. It changes so many policies with companies, and makes it hard for the ones who are honest. I have seen so many changes with coupons. They now have coupons where you have to buy two or more to use a coupon.