Little Kids and peeing in the pool - what would you do?

[OurBigTrip]

Well then we will have to agree to disagree. I would not allow my child to be bullied and would tell the other child to stop. My child should not be deprived of fun by a child who is misbehaving.

Yet it would be fine for my child to be deprived of fun because he has to listen to your child cry and whine about a stuffed animal, and I shouldn't say anything about it.

And I wouldn't say anything about it, because your child's behavior is your problem, not mine. I just don't care for the hypocrisy. YMMV.

 

[millie]

My children are young adults now but if a stranger had to say something to them about their behavior I wouldn't have been angry or indignant - I would have been mortified that it was necessary. My children were not angels - far from it - but if they misbehaved they got dragged out of wherever we were and we did not go back until they could handle the situation.

I did not tolerate bratty behavior in public from my children and I won't tolerate it from anyone else's. I don't have to raise my voice but I will say something to anyone if they are being rude or impolite and imposing on me or my family.

I had to stop teaching Sunday school when the percentage of kids with absolutely no manners whatsoever became significantly greater than the children who did. Anyone who is paying attention can see that there is something very wrong with the way that many children are being parented today.

 

[OurBigTrip]

My children are young adults now but if a stranger had to say something to them about their behavior I wouldn't have been angry or indignant - I would have been mortified that it was necessary. My children were not angels - far from it - but if they misbehaved they got dragged out of wherever we were and we did not go back until they could handle the situation.

I did not tolerate bratty behavior in public from my children and I won't tolerate it from anyone else's. I don't have to raise my voice but I will say something to anyone if they are being rude or impolite and imposing on me or my family.

I had to stop teaching Sunday school when the percentage of kids with absolutely no manners whatsoever became significantly greater than the children who did. Anyone who is paying attention can see that there is something very wrong with the way that many children are being parented today.

Yeah, it's a real shame...I have two great kids, one in college and one in high school that are well behaved, well mannered and considerate of others.

And my DH and I were able to raise them that way without any help from strangers in theme parks or restaurants - must be a miracle!

Maybe we did such a good job because we spent time attending to the behavior of our own children instead of everyone else's children.

 

[Lindaland]

If you don't parent your children, then you can't be surprised when someone else does.

 

[OurBigTrip]

If you don't parent your children, then can't be surprised when someone else does.

And who gets to be the arbiter of when a parent is correctly parenting the child? The grumpy stranger at the pool? The grumpy stranger in line at the theme park?

There were people on this thread calling the parents clueless and bad parents because the kids were up and swimming at 10:15 PM. Do those people have a right to tell the parents to get the kids to bed? Of course not.

In the example I've used about the kids that cry and whine over lost or misplaced loveys, I find that kind of behavior to be atrocious, but the parents see nothing wrong with it - do I get to tell the kids to suck it up and keep whining because I think it's ridiculous behavior? Of course not.

The child should not have peeing in the pool, no question. But it should have been taken up with the parent, not with the child. If I had been in that situation, and I were bothered by it as much as the OP was, I would have gone to the father and told him that I didn't think it was appropriate for the child to be peeing in the pool, as it really isn't acceptable behavior. And that would have been it. I certainly wouldn't have made a loud point out of bringing attention to the child in an effort to embarrass him, as the OP did.

But, to each his own. I wouldn't be on a message board, bragging about bringing a five year old to tears, but that's just me.

 

[AndreaA]

Yet it would be fine for my child to be deprived of fun because he has to listen to your child cry and whine about a stuffed animal, and I shouldn't say anything about it.

And I wouldn't say anything about it, because your child's behavior is your problem, not mine. I just don't care for the hypocrisy. YMMV.

Where's the hypocrisy? I plainly stated that you are welcome to correct a behavior if I'm ignoring it.

I will say that if you can't see the difference between a child crying because they are upset (and being comforted by a parent) and a child whacking yours upside the head then we are on totally different wavelengths.

I will agree that your kids have probably grown into decent teens/adults because you were paying attention and parenting them. Sort of the opposite of the father in the OP.

 

[OurBigTrip]

I will say that if you can't see the difference between a child crying because they are upset (and being comforted by a parent) and a child whacking yours upside the head then we are on totally different wavelengths.

Bad behavior is bad behavior, regardless of the reason.

 

[catra121]

What the OP stated was corrective and accusatory. (Whether her statement was true or not). It is not alright to make such statements to someone elses child.


Note: If you look through the thread you will notice that those with any kind of experience in raising and dealing with children are all saying the same thing. Maybe you inexperienced folk should wise up.

What that kid did was not equal to the reprimand he received. And again may I remind you as an outsider have no way of knowing what the situation was with that kid and his family. I can think of many examples of why such behavior could be deemed okay.

They are NOT all saying the same thing. It seems to me that the answers to this question of what you would do in this situation are pretty much split down the middle.

Any way you slice it, in my opinion, the OP did not "discipline" the child in any way. Apparently some people have a different definition of "discipline"...which explains a lot of the terrible behavior I see these days from children, teens, and adults. That form of "discipline" to me is equivalent to no consequences for bad behavior.

I think I want to do bad that will make someone else uncomfortable and that I know is wrong. I think to myself, "What will the consequences be?" The answer: someone will tell me I did it. Not that I was bad, or wrong, or yell at me...they will tell me I did it. Wow...that's going to make me think twice.

How do I know the child KNEW it was wrong? Because they LIED about it afterwards when there was a RESPONSIBLE adult with them.

It was left to the family to "discipline" the child however they saw fit. OP did not discipline the child, did not deny them entry into the hot tub, did not tell them they were bad, did not yell at them, but only expressed the rules if the child wanted to come into the hot tub. It would be different if the OP had said, "You cannot come in here." That could be construed as a punishment...but saying they cannot pee in the hot tub is not in my opinion because it is an unacceptable behavior and affects other guests.

 

[Lindaland]

And who gets to be the arbiter of when a parent is correctly parenting the child?

Everyone get to be the arbiter of when a parent is effectively parenting!! If your child is misbehaving and intruding on everyone else with their actions and you do nothing to correct it, then I have a right to make a comment regarding such. If your misbehaving child can infringe on my rights then I can infringe on yours. You don't get a free pass because you think you know better than everyone around you.

Bad behavior is bad behavior, regardless of the reason.

Even when your an adult posting on a forum.

 

[OurBigTrip]

Everyone get to be the arbiter of when a parent is effectively parenting!! If your child is misbehaving and intruding on everyone else with their actions and you do nothing to correct it, then I have a right to make a comment regarding such. If your misbehaving child can infringe on my rights then I can infringe on yours. You don't get a free pass because you think you know better than everyone around you.



Even when your an adult posting on a forum.

The fact that you consider someone disagreeing with you to be exhibiting bad behavior proves the point that you shouldn't be judging whether or not a child is being parented correctly.

 

[Fairyjen1]

All right. After reading the responses I think now I would say something to the parent first, and not the child. Although I still support the OP and think she did nothing wrong. However, something WOULD be said. I am not emotional and rarely get mad , so I assure you my manner would be polite and non-hostile, but I would ask that the child be talked to about the appropriateness of peeing in the pool.

I will be there next week, maybe you guys better just call security now.....

 

[Lynne M]

Anyone else find it ironic that in a discussion of a child's bad behavior, some adults can't manage to have a civil conversation?

It's time, once again, to review the DISboards Guidelines.

Particularly item 4, "No Fighting/Sarcasm."

While we'd like to think that a Disney fan site is always lighthearted, there are times when there are disagreements. Let's face it, there are certain topics that can transform any of us into a raging "Donald Duck." When you sense this is happening, we ask that you step away from the discussion before it escalates into a fight. Just like Mom always said about fighting, we don't care who started the argument and we don't want it on the DIS. (Okay, she didn't say the part about the DIS, but you know what we mean.) No attacking others and no sarcasm please. Either will result in an infraction.

If you can't help yourself and just have to argue, take it somewhere else. PM's, e-mail, whatever suits you. Just don't do it on the board.