The bolded portion is such a dangerous idea. No, generally the parents do not feel that vibe, or there wouldn't be so many cases of molestation and abuse. QUOTE]
Absolutely right! You cannot see whether someone is a pedophile. Someone that acts or looks weird, may be innocent and the most wonderful seeming individual may be an abuser. In fact some abusers make a point to be the nicest people around to get people to lower defenses!" I had a coworker that is going to jail for 12 years due to abuse and I would never have guessed. Seemed like the nicest person!
I'm a nice guy, I would never harm any child in any way. But how do you really know that? You don't. And even if you could see my heart and know it is sincere, you still, as a parent of children, should have boundaries for your children's interaction with others, no matter who it is!
In fact, the great majority of abused children are abused by someone they know! How very sad but true. So when someone looks at me with doubts or wants to limit their children's interaction, I don't get upset. I know me but they don't. They SHOULD be careful!
I interact with young children of friends that are almost family. They still have wise boundaries, and if they didn't, I would anyway. I have a blast with these kids but I would refuse to take them somewhere by myself unless it was an emergency. It is always with my wife, even though they are close friends. It is just wise. I don't want any doubts or even the appearance of evil.
Trust, love, be friendly, and even allow interactions, but set wise boundaries and respect the boundaries of other parents.