Getting Married Young?

[Piglet4Ever]

I was 24 and DH was 28 when we got married, I thought I was old!! We are going on 17 yrs. I would classify 18-20 as being pretty young to get married.

 

[lovesmurfs]

DH was "on the shelf" at 33 when we married, but I was 22. Going on 23 years this year!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

So today at work while talking to a coworker it came up in conversation on how I have been married for 11+ years. At which point she remarked OMG you must of got married young. I replied that my wife and I were 24 when we got married and she confirmed that we were definitely young at that age.

I would take that more as a statement of how she thought you looked young, as in, hard to believe you've been married for 11 years when you look like you're in your twenties. Do you look young?

 

[kamik86]

Honestly it partially depends on when the marriage occured.

I was married at 22 4 years ago. Which I feel was young mostly just because I only know a handful of others that were married that young. I also wasn't out of college yet, I graduated 6 months later.

However anything past 20 doesn't seem young when I look at when those who are now 40 or over got married.

I think its because when high school was enough to get a good job marrying after high school was normal. Now that so many are getting at least a 4 year degree most are waiting until after they gradate to plan the wedding resulting in 24+ for most people.

 

[kamik86]

I would take that more as a statement of how she thought you looked young, as in, hard to believe you've been married for 11 years when you look like you're in your twenties. Do you look young?

My husband gets this one alot. He was 24 when we married, but when he meets new people at work and says he has been married for 4 years most don't believe him at first... because he looks like he MAY be able to pass for 22.

 

[The Wise One]

I was 21 and DH was 23 when we got married and we just celebrated our 3 year anniversary. A lot of people probably consider that young but we knew we wanted to be married and spend forever together and didn't see the point in waiting.

 

[Fly4free]

I was 24 when I got married nearly 19 years ago. My husband and I were young compared to our other friends who all were at least a bit older when they married. I was ready to be married, but am glad we waited 4 yrs. to have kids. Those 4 yrs sure went by fast!

It seems now 24 is a bit young to get married. Most of the people I know getting married now are around 30. Women are also having children at an older age as well. I think it's great not to get married too young. You have the whole rest of your life to be together.

 

[Rekenna]

DH and I have been together since I was 16 and he was 18, we got married when I was 20 and he was 21 and we had our first child when I was 21 and he was 22. We have been together 20 years this November and have been married 16 in May. And I know we both thought we were so grown up when we were 20 and 21, and compared to our friends of the same age at that time we probably were.

Now, being the hypocrites that we are , when a 20 year old says they are getting married we both look at each other and with our ESP say ~they are way too young!

Most of the people I work with currently didn't get married until their late 20's early 30's.

 

[ReneeA]

I was 24 and DH almost 28 when we married. His friends and family thought we were young, mine thought I was an old maid. I am from a very rural, kinda backwoods area, DH is a city boy. My parents were married the weekend after my mom turned 16, dad was 19. My grandparents and great grandparents were also still in high school when they married. I was one of the last in my high school class to may. Most were settled down with kids by 19. It's a very cultural thing, for the most part.

 

[minkydog]

DH and I were both 24 when we got married. We were both finishing up our 2nd BS degrees and had been fully independent adults since the age of 19-20. We were ready for marriage.

Our older kids are DS26 and DD19. DS is not in any way ready to.settle down, but it would not surprise me at all if DD got engaged in the next year or so. She is mature, pays all her own bills, is putting herself through culinary school, has a rock steady boyfriend of more than a year. We encourage both kids to take their time, travel, live on their own, and finish school before marrying. Who knows if they'll listen.

 

[frndshpcptn]

I live in NYC. Grew up in this area.

I think anything under 27 is young...

 

[Soben]

I consider anything under late 20s young. Anything under 20 is Child Bride territory in my mind.

I was 22 and couldn't be happier 17 years later. However, I've seen so many of my peers divorce and you really do change and grow a lot from 20-30. Dh and I have grown together, but many people grow apart. And it's hard to tell. (well, sometimes it was easy to tell from the outside...) I hope my kids don't marry young. Or at least don't have kids young.

 

[castleview]

I was 20 and my husband was 21. And we lived together for two years before that. 24 years together this year Yes, I think that is young and I wouldn't recommend it for my girls. My husband and I grew up in dysfunctional families and we both left at 17/18. We had to grow up fast.
I would like to see my girls experience life and finish college before they settle down.
It's funny too because I always felt I was never going to get married because all my girlfriends in high school had long-term boyfriends and I didn't. I was the first to get married and still am after they have been through even a couple marriages.
When you get married young, I feel you really are growing up and changing together and need to have a lot of tolerance and commitment.

I think this depends on what generation you are and what region you're from. Almost no one in my HS graduating class were married until they were at least 25, and most of my friends still considered THAT young, whereas my father's generation would have considered it a bit old.

I think what said above has a lot to do with it. I was a child in the 70s and most of the teens in my neighborhood were (if not from a dysfunctional family) one of many children and were one their own once high school was over. I'd say many in that generation were just about adults before they started their senior year.

These days four children is the largest amount of kids a couple has before people question their sanity (maybe even three ). More parents have educations themselves and can invest so much in their kids' childhood and opportunities. At the same time, the cost of college is so ridiculous that kids (even with parents' help) will be paying it off for a while…if they even have a job. Not living on your own or barely scraping by on your own kind of delays plans to marry.

 

[elgerber]

I don't consider 24 young either. I had a baby when I was 24. I was just 21, dh was about to turn 23. We had been together since I was 16. I think we were on the younger side, but not super young. We have been married 22 years.

 

[MissMichigan]

I was 18 when I got married, and I very much agree that that is "young", and probably too young. Divorced now.

I'm 24 now, and while I can see myself marrying my DB someday, i'm in no rush. I don't think 24 is all that young, but it seems like people are waiting until late 20's or early 30's these days, so in comparison it is.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Yikes! Can 15 year olds even legally get married?

I don't know if they still can, but they could in much of the South a few generations ago.

My uncle was 20 and started dating a 13 year old. My grandparents were NOT okay with it (because she was too young for her) and when he refused to break up with her, kicked him out of the house. They got married the next day! (under 15 did require her parents to consent--no idea why they did; and no she was not pregnant).

I would never, ever advocate that (nor would they), but I have to say they have been married 52 years now and get along better than many many couples I know.

 

[violetrose]

24 seems on the young side, but not young, for couples today. I got married at 25 but that was 25 years ago and 25 didn't seem as young as it does today. When we got married I was 25 and DH was 29, we had already been out on our own for years and each owned our own home. Our children are in their mid 20s and are just finishing up college, we hope they get jobs and certainly don't expect that they will be owning a home until much later like early 30s. So in today's age I do think 24 is a little young. Not too young, but on the young side of what is probably financially ideal. Our DS is in a serious relationship and I have a feeling he will be popping the question this year, he will be 23. I personally wish he'd wait until he was a little older, like 28, but the heart wants what the heart wants. They are both well rounded and homebodies so I think their marriage will work out but it won't be easy on them. He just graduated from tech school and she is in her last year of college, but then they will need to find jobs and somewhere to live. I'd not mind them living at home a little longer to save before going out on their own but I don't see that happening. Our DD will be 24 this year, will finish her Masters, and plans to move home at least for a couple of years to save money to buy a house.

 

[runsandjumps]

I think anything under 30 is young. I got married young too. 10 years in April.

 

[Minnesota!]

We were both 22. Had been together over 7 years at that point. We will hit 13 years married this fall, together 20 in August...wow!

FWIW, I think that "young" means you can't legally drink at your wedding.

 

[Caropooh]

I don't consider 24 young. I was 3 weeks shy of my 23rd birthday and DH was 24. We'll be married 29 years in May.