Would you leave your 12 year old in the gift shop...

[robinb]

Taking a boy in the ladies room is bad enough, making him come in the stall with his mom is CRAZY!

Frankly, I was glad he went into the stall with her. If she was so worried about him then that's where he belonged. Right where she could keep an eye on him all the time. Safe and sound .

 

[tiffjoy]

It's not tricky at all . EVEN if she was trying to teach him a lesson I found her parenting methods to be (1) humiliating to her child and (2) disruptive to the rest of the women and girls who were waiting to use their own gendered bathroom.

Again, as I said, you have no idea at all what was going on.

Maybe she was just embarrassing him. Maybe he habitually runs off. Maybe there's something else going on. Maybe there isn't. But no one here has any way if knowing, do they? So yes. It is tricky. Because you are judging that which you don't know.

I just get tired of the far off statements based on a small snipit of someone's actions like he's ruined for life, etc. No one has any way of knowing that (in this case).

 

[mousermerf]

I'll just point out that a guy was arrested for being a creeper and looking over the stalls in the women's bathroom at Epcot.

Nothing is totally safe, but living your life in fear of everything is absurd.

 

[cheshireqt]

Get in line with all 3 of you; when you get to the front, explain to the attendant that your 12 year old won't be riding. The CM will direct her to the gift shop and she will only be alone for a few minutes. This is what I've done when traveling with my 2 nieces, one of whom is a ride demon and the other of whom is a ride chicken.

My dd just turned 13, we have not needed to worry about this but I would totally do as the pp said if we did. That way she gets to spend the time with you and then is alone in gift shop for a short window of time. Make sure she knows not to wander off to restroom or out of the gift shop to see a passing parade etc., until you get off the ride, unless she texts you first or whatever your agreement is with her, otherwise you will have heart failure.

 

[csummerlin55]

It's not tricky at all . EVEN if she was trying to teach him a lesson I found her parenting methods to be (1) humiliating to her child and (2) disruptive to the rest of the women and girls who were waiting to use their own gendered bathroom.

How exactly does one child and mother fussing "disrupt" a grown woman waiting for a restroom stall? I can see little girls rubber-necking to see what was going on but adults should know better. If the mom isn't abusing the child I wouldn't give it a second thought because it is not my business. But I'm very much of the to-each-his-own mindset. Your parenting style may not work for my kids and mine may not work for yours.

Frankly, I'd rather feel a little awkward for a minute or two if it meant another mother felt secure about her child's safety. I've had my DD ask me why a little boy was in the ladies room. I explained to her "because his mommy wants him to be with her so she can make sure he's safe". That satisfied her so I don't understand why it's so hard for grown-ups to be more understanding. Really, if the boy is not peering in on my DD, how is his prescience putting a damper on my restroom time? (And,of course, I would be there to prevent said peering.) Would I send my DS's in with me at that age? Not unless I was super uncomfortable about their safety, which I never was. I would never put my children in a position I deem unsafe to try and appease a stranger and I wouldn't want anyone else to either.

 

[aaarcher86]

I'm just curious as to what age the line is drawn for boys to be in the ladies room.

I imagine some mothers feel just as unsettled leaving their 13 year old boys waiting alone.

What's too old for people that don't have a problem 9/10 years in there?

 

[Kona65]

Just wanted to say thank you to seven dwarfs for sharing that terrible experience. I'm so sorry this has happened to your family. It's certainly given me a new perspective and I will be on guard at WDW. Sending you all my kindest thoughts...

I agree. Parents have to learn that not even Disney can be completely safe from strange people. You have to be on the look out for any type of situation. Your kids need and deserve your protection. TDBIASWS.

 

[Suellen]

I'm just curious as to what age the line is drawn for boys to be in the ladies room.

I imagine some mothers feel just as unsettled leaving their 13 year old boys waiting alone.

What's too old for people that don't have a problem 9/10 years in there?

I would say 7 is too old. JMHO.

I allow my 5 year old to use the restroom alone though... so there you have it.

 

[tiffjoy]

I'm just curious as to what age the line is drawn for boys to be in the ladies room.

I imagine some mothers feel just as unsettled leaving their 13 year old boys waiting alone.

What's too old for people that don't have a problem 9/10 years in there?

I'll be honest, this is something that just doesn't bother me. Maybe it comes from having co-ed bathrooms at college, I don't know. I don't have boys, only girls, but I'm just not bothered by this. I don't feel unsafe, I don't feel uncomfortable, and I don't feel upset.

I'm not all that concerned with stating an age cutoff (as you can't tell a child's age just from looking), but i am concerned with actions. As long as the person is behaving (not peering into the stalls, trying to climb under them, not harassing others), then I'm just not personally fussed about it. If they are standing and waiting or using the facilities, then whatever, IMHO.

 

[robinb]

How exactly does one child and mother fussing "disrupt" a grown woman waiting for a restroom stall?

The mother and the son made a scene. They were having a fairly loud argument that continued for the majority of my wait (about 2-3 minutes) and she tried to physically pull him into the bathroom multiple times while he objected loudly. Believe me. It wasn't something that anyone could simply ignore.

 

[robinb]

I've had my DD ask me why a little boy was in the ladies room. I explained to her "because his mommy wants him to be with her so she can make sure he's safe". That satisfied her so I don't understand why it's so hard for grown-ups to be more understanding.

I just wanted to point out that your DD is 5-6 years old. That is lightyears from having a teenager who has to take care of more grown-up womanly things with a 5th or 6th grade boy in the same bathroom.

 

[Sugardimples]

Here's a thought......If you are unwilling to let your 10 year old son go into the men's room alone, maybe you should go into the men's room with him. That way you will be the one out of place, not him. You will be the one getting stared at, not him. You can be the one feeling self-conscious, not him. After a few visits you will be in a better position to decide if he'r ready to do his business without you being right there with him.

 

[nessz79]

I consider myself as somewhat overprotective and I can't imagine a problem with leaving a 12 year old in a gift shop for a short time while riding a ride. That said, I agree that it might be better to have her go in line with you and then exiting at the "chicken exit" where she can wait for you when you are finished. Less time waiting.

As far as boys in the bathroom, I guess I'm very lucky to not only having my DH almost always with us, but that I have 2 boys. If DH is not with me, I send the 2 boys in to the men's restroom together and stand outside. I can't imagine bringing a boy older than about 8 into the women's restroom...my boys would be terribly embarrassed.

 

[countryblonde314]

U could always have your daughter walk through the line with u and when u get up to the ride tell the cast member that she doesnt wanna ride, which they will escort her through a special exit. My grandfather does that when he pushes me in my wheelchair on to rides that he cant go on. Always another option.

 

[skater]

I'll be honest, this is something that just doesn't bother me. Maybe it comes from having co-ed bathrooms at college, I don't know. I don't have boys, only girls, but I'm just not bothered by this. I don't feel unsafe, I don't feel uncomfortable, and I don't feel upset.

I'm not all that concerned with stating an age cutoff (as you can't tell a child's age just from looking), but i am concerned with actions. As long as the person is behaving (not peering into the stalls, trying to climb under them, not harassing others), then I'm just not personally fussed about it. If they are standing and waiting or using the facilities, then whatever, IMHO.

Love this post .

 

[skater]

How exactly does one child and mother fussing "disrupt" a grown woman waiting for a restroom stall? I can see little girls rubber-necking to see what was going on but adults should know better. If the mom isn't abusing the child I wouldn't give it a second thought because it is not my business. But I'm very much of the to-each-his-own mindset. Your parenting style may not work for my kids and mine may not work for yours.

Frankly, I'd rather feel a little awkward for a minute or two if it meant another mother felt secure about her child's safety. I've had my DD ask me why a little boy was in the ladies room. I explained to her "because his mommy wants him to be with her so she can make sure he's safe". That satisfied her so I don't understand why it's so hard for grown-ups to be more understanding. Really, if the boy is not peering in on my DD, how is his prescience putting a damper on my restroom time? (And,of course, I would be there to prevent said peering.) Would I send my DS's in with me at that age? Not unless I was super uncomfortable about their safety, which I never was. I would never put my children in a position I deem unsafe to try and appease a stranger and I wouldn't want anyone else to either.

If more of us were like this, the job of parents would be so much easier. There's way too much judgement of other parents.

 

[csummerlin55]

I just wanted to point out that your DD is 5-6 years old. That is lightyears from having a teenager who has to take care of more grown-up womanly things with a 5th or 6th grade boy in the same bathroom.

I could see that making a teen girl feel awkward but, as long as no peering or other inappropriate behavior is occurring (which it shouldn't be since the mom in question should be observing her son as best as she can in this situation) this is something the teen girl should get over very quickly.

We had an incident where a man was watching my boys use the restroom and making comments/sounds. My boys were in the restroom together (about 7&11 at the time) and I was outside the door where I could hear them if thy were to scream. It was something they didn't fully grasp until they were out of the restroom (the man had left just before them and we couldn't track him down). I can tell you that it took quite a bit for them to "get over" that incident.

Really bad things can and will happen and unfortunately some pedophiles use WDW just because we feel safe there and there are so many kiddos. As parents, we have to decide that fine line between keeping them safe and being overprotective. I understand parents wanting to be safe instead of sorry. My experience did not make me want to go extreme and drag my boys in with me but it did make me pay more attention.

I don't know that mom's story, their family may have been impacted in some way by a predator, she may have had problems with him running off before (although you probably would've heard her mention that during their scuffle), or maybe she was just a mom that can't let go. Regardless of the reason, she was obviously trying to keep him safe so I can't slam her for that.

 

[csummerlin55]

I'm just curious as to what age the line is drawn for boys to be in the ladies room.

I imagine some mothers feel just as unsettled leaving their 13 year old boys waiting alone.

What's too old for people that don't have a problem 9/10 years in there?

I don't think there's a clear-cut answer as it is more of a developmental/comfort issue. For my family it was around 6-7. At place like WDW there are other options like companion restrooms that families can utilize. I'm not sure why more don't but I'm guessing because, to them, it's not awkward.

 

[vcgirl925]

You k ow your child best. I have an almost eight year old I would allow to wait. I have an almost six year old that I doubt I will leave like at before she is 30.

If you told her to stay and not wander off -would she follow direction?

Do we have the same kids?

I have a now 9 year old that i wouldn't hesitate to leave. Level head, good listener, and not afraid to use his words. Then i have a 7 year old who i like to say has a brain filled with butterflies and cotton candy. It's not a bad place to be generally and we love her love of life. But should can't be trusted to stay in one spot. So use your judgement, only you would know if she is or isn't. I say if you do it once and she's fine....there's your answer.

 

[minnie mum]

Again, as I said, you have no idea at all what was going on.

Maybe she was just embarrassing him. Maybe he habitually runs off. Maybe there's something else going on. Maybe there isn't. But no one here has any way if knowing, do they? So yes. It is tricky. Because you are judging that which you don't know.

I just get tired of the far off statements based on a small snipit of someone's actions like he's ruined for life, etc. No one has any way of knowing that (in this case).

What you are doing is called projecting. As in making up imaginative scenarios that fit with your particular attitude towards parenting.

Maybe she's an alien and the stall is her way of teleporting him to her home planet. Maybe, maybe, maybe...

The poster was simply describing something that she witnessed. The mother's behavior was obviously inappropriate and unacceptable in that situation. And more especially given the availability of companion bathrooms in the park.

I find it immensely interesting that you have no qualms about justifying that woman's actions. Now imagine the identical scenario, except that it is a man who is physically dragging a crying and uncooperative little girl into a men's room. I suppose you would just shrug your shoulders and not give it a moment's thought?