There are now several dining plans. There'sa quick serve option, that offers no savings at all and is a bad idea, except as a gaugue of what food costs.
There is also a deluxe plan, then allows three table serve meals per day ,and is also generally not a good diea, unless you are hard set upon the idea of getting room service every day. If you are, then it might be a good deal.
(sorry, I make too many typos when I'm trying to be quick.)
The middle of the road dining plan, used to be a great deal. For 2013, it's not not going to offer much savings. It works this way, for the adult and kids over 9, the cost is about $55 per person per day. For your daughter, it runs about $17 per day. In short, the dinig plan gives you vouchers on your room key. Ech person gets a voucher fora complete quick serve meal, a complete table serve meal and a snack each day. A "snack" is almost anythign edible that costs $4 or less (and a few thgins over $4). A Meal includes entree, dessert, and a non alcoholic drink. (so at a quick serve you get a completemeal: burger/fries/drink/dessert, and a similar offering at dinner: Entree with side dish as listed on the menu - or- complete buffet, drink and dessert) To redeem your vouchers, you just hand over your room key, and the cashier deducts the credits. Cashiers will help you to navigate the system -but taking advantage of the dining plan means (except breakfast) getting a soft drink and dessert with every meal. It also means ordering one of the more expensive items off the menu, or dining at a buffet (as in the
DDP is a good deal at the buffets). If you are a small eater, skip desserts, and/or drink water with your meals - it won't save money at the price Disney has set for 2013 (as I said, prices for 2014 are not out yet. But the price of DDP has gone up each year and the discount has evaporated. Still, Disney could offer a great price in 2014.) Another key point is that your vouchers expire if you don't use them - you don't get the value back. Another key thing is that DDP does not cover appetizers, gratuity, or alcohol. those costs you pay out of pocket.
The one nice thing about DDP is that it's a way to prepay your meals. It's also useful as a guide. If you eat one quick serve, one Table serve, and one snack each day- then you will average about $55 per adutls (plus tip and alcohol), and probably about $20 on your daughter.
To use DDP, you dont HAVE to make ADR's, but it's strongly advised that you make one ADR each day. Practically speaking, you will have to make one for each day. However...the table service restaurants and buffets do get booked up fulll, especially if you want to eat at a normal time. Almost always you can find one restaurant that has an opening, but it might be at 9pm, or not be the neatest place to eat.
Disney restaurants have really great theming. It's sort of becoem a trend nowadays for some chain dinig to offer fun theming. the 12year old may be beyond a the idea of a meal with characters, but yoru daughter will likey love a princess dinner.
Typically when we eat at WDW, we share food. So while two meals per day may not sound like much, it's plenty for most folks. (the again, you have a 12 year old boy. Some boys at that age are still small eaters, and some are big eaters..) Typically for our family, the DDP is about the right amount of food, but we don't eat all the desserts. We also prefer water with some meals.
conversely, eating one table serve emal each day, but not more than one table serve meal each day, is a good rough guide. A table service meal allows you to sit down. With full active days, a table serve dinner is nice. In the mornign, a quick food coutr meal is a great way to get out quickly. Also, though I'm not a big fan of the food court in my loacla mall, Disney food court food is fairly decent. Not stellar, but better than most amusement parks. the table serve emals go from so-so to rather great. I haven't mentioned Signature dinig, but that's still one more option. (You can use two vouchers per person to do a signature meal or room service- again not a great value on DDP - but an option you should be aware of)
I mention signature dining nott to overwhelm you, but just to let you know there are some really high quality options at WDW. Compared to most themem parks where food is really marginal, I'm quite happy withthe food quality at WDW. Not allthe food is stellar, but there are lots of little fun treats, fun desserts, and really fun themes. Like in DTD, there's a restaurnat with giant animatronic dinosaurs! Another fun option is a dinner show. (double credit, but fun) another place is designed to look like an old fashioned drive-in movie theater! With actual movie clips showing. Many meals have characters. they walk aroudn while you are eating and you can get a picture, and autograh, and just have fun acting like a kid. It's actually fun for adutls, if you can get intothe spirit of it.
Still other dinig will 'take you some place exotic'. Almost every restaurant offers a basic steak with potato- so don't feel too intimidated. But it may LOOK like you are in China, dining next to Canada's Victoria Gardens. There's also a restaurant where your table has a view of a giant aquarium. (think nurse sharks) There's too many fun options to list here, but it's worth looking at your dinig options and having alittle fun.
for yoru third meal of the day (lunch, for us) quick serve again sia good option because it gives you flexibilty. While the table serve options are lots of fun, they also take a while.
WDW is very large. Getting from place to place takes a long time. Soemtimes it may take over an hour to get fromyour resort to a restaurant - so I'll help you be strategic. that's where a little planning pays off (picking apark each day, and having your tables erve emal in that park) Also, table serve meals take sometimes 90 minutes- especially if you have to wait for your table - so that's why I only like to do one per day. Oh, and I plan no more than onebuffet every 24hour period. it's just too much food. If you like to table serve lunches, or breakfasts or a mix of meals that's perfectly fine..but if you are not sure- my tried and true is to have breakfast i our food court, a quick serve lunch, and a table serve dinner - as our most common pattern. (this has several advantages that I can explain later)
So now that you have a time frame....find a resort you like. Again, think abou your budget. Oh - you also should think about how long you want to stay. Mousesavers gives great tables, pricing info, as does the parent website of the DIS. Allearsnet.com is another great place for good info - like menus. Somewhere between five to nine full days is ideal for a first trip. Do what appeals to you, and what fits your budget. You willl find plenty to keep you busy for nine days- with some ride repeats. Five is not enough time to see everything, but you'll at least get to each park once with five full days. Six or seven full days is my suggestion. (You will get some time on arrival and departure days, but not a full day, especially if you have to go through customs and all)
Find a resort you like. Look at price, theming and dining options there. Once you get a resort in mind, and an overall budget....you can have fun finding some table serve dining that appeals to you. You can certainly be happy doing less thanone table serve per day...but that's my rough guide suggestion.
Oh - ....If you DO decide on a deluxe resort....then WDW does offer a club level. I only mention since you said you like room service. Club level is kind of a neat option if you want the convenience of somethig like room service, but it's not a budget option to be sure.