My husband was not in grad school but he was in his last year of college when we married. He also worked a full time job so between the two we didn't have a whole lot of time together since he was either studying, working or in class. Being newly married I found it hard, but somehow we made it. That was 23 years ago.
DH took a single class in 2002. I was pg w/our 3rd, worked PT, and DH worked FT overnight shifts. We also had DD8 & DD2 - and DD2 was a complete terror at that age. It was not fun at all but I'm glad he finished the class as it was the ONLY thing holding him up from getting his degree.
I returned to school FT 3 years ago so DH had to take on a lot more household/kid duties. Our kids are more independent now and could stay home alone when needed. It was stressful at times but I think it made us better partners and brought him even closer with the kids.
Who is thinking of going back - you or DH? Do you have concerns?
I was the spouse in grad school. I graduated last summer. I took two courses in the Spring and Fall, and three in the summer. There were many nights where I would come home immediately after work (I was a teacher and would get out at 4:30) get started, eat dinner with one hand and work with the other, go to bed about 2 AM and head back to work with about 3 1/2 or 4 hours of sleep.
I was busy every weekend. Many Saturdays and Sundays I worked all day and into the evening.
But I made it.
My kids at the time I started were 15 and 8. I missed a lot of outings, family movie nights, etc. I couldn't have done it without the support of DH.
Kids are amazing and can be very supportive of their parents when they get to take part in the decision. We always pushed education (DS graduates from college in May) our kids knew how much it meant to us and honestly, with a lot of planning and sometimes a bit of juggling hopefully Dad won't have to miss out on everything. He may have to pick and choose a game to attend or an event and your kids can put in their input about the activities that it is really important that Dad attend and the ones that they are ok with him skipping.I'm worried about DH missing so many of the kids activities. DS will be a junior and senior during those times and as people with older kids know, some activities during senior year are really important to the kids. I worry him being in school will cause a lot of resentment in the kids for all the things he'll miss.
Up to this point, DH has come to everything (programs, sporting events, concerts, etc), so having him miss those will be a big deal. DD is 11 and DS turns 16 in five weeks.
But on the other hand, there has never been a better time for him to go back. Up until now, there was always some obstacle in the way.
The kids are older, much more independent (though busier), our home life is comfortable and settled and the extra money involved in having him in school (books, gas, food, etc) isn't an issue.
Looks like we have some more discussing to do.
My DH finished his bachelor's AND went to grad school while we were married.
He returned to finish his bachelor's degree when our first born was four weeks old. He went to school every semester, including summers, and worked 50-60 hour weeks. He would sometimes have to return to the office after class to finish up.
We were two ships that passed in the night. We still marvel that I got pregnant with our second while he was in school...our son was born as my husband was finishing up his master's.
I wouldn't change a thing about what he did...his company paid for all the schooling; we never would have been able to afford it otherwise. In addition, I pushed him to finish up while the kids were so young, BEFORE they got busy with sports and activites he would miss. Yes, it was very hard...but I was lucky to be a stay-at-home Mom and handle everything.