If you've had a spouse in Grad School...

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by SaraJayne, Dec 4, 2012.

  1. SaraJayne

    SaraJayne <font color=red>Stop moving those smilies! <img sr

    Mar 6, 2009
    Vacations/Family stuff was something we talked about last night. Our niece is getting married in the early summer. My sister is getting married next Fall and that will be a Thurs-Sun event, which would put a serious dent in his study time. All four of us are in the wedding.

    We were also planning a vacation in January of 2014 with his siblings, since we all had so much fun on our last siblings vacation in 2011, but that is on hold for now until we have more info about school.

    We'll work around the school schedule as best we can. :)
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  3. kpm76

    kpm76 DIS Veteran<br><font color=purple>Charlie Brown is

    Jun 13, 2003
    It sounds like he is wise to be really considering an advanced degree. One thing to think about is that with the economy, many "kids" are going right from undergrad to grad school so they may be piled high in debt (another topic entirely), but they have master's degrees.
  4. nmmom95

    nmmom95 <font color=teal>I'm a pregnant lesbian in an inte

    May 24, 2008
    I finished graduate school 7 month pregnant with my first. DH finished when I was 8 months pregnant with our second. It was stressful at times, but doable.
  5. soccerdad72

    soccerdad72 DIS Veteran

    Oct 23, 2012
    I did my MBA when my oldest son was a small child (he was 3 when I graduated). It wasn't too bad, but there were stretches where I didn't see him for a couple days in a row, because he was in bed by the time I got home and was still asleep when I left for work the next morning.

    My wife at the time was working a flex schedule, so fortunately she was around a lot more than she would have been had she been full time.
  6. NCRedding

    NCRedding <font color=navy>I've strayed<br><font color=green

    Feb 4, 2000
    Our daughter was 11 months old when DH gave up teaching and went to law school full time at a university about an 1 hour from where we lived. For the first 2 years, he treated it like his job: he left the house around 7:30 or 8 and returned home each evening around 5:30 or 6. In theory, he did all his studying while he was at school, so that the evenings were family time. Around exam time, he spent more home time studying. His last year, he didn't keep to that schedule, so school interfered with our home life more. At the time, since DD was so little, there wasn't that much evening stuff that he missed. We were also lucky that we had lots of family close by to help us with child care, etc.

    It was a struggle for both of us. I can see where it would be a challenge with kids in activities toward the end of high school. Good luck.
  7. Certifiable WDW Nut

    Certifiable WDW Nut Mouseketeer

    Aug 9, 2000
    First, I did my MBA part time and worked full time starting when DD1 was about 18 mos old. DH was wonderful - he worked full time but was close to home. Frequently during those 4 years, my day consisted of essentially circling the Washington DC beltway between home and 2 offices and then school at night. I was definitely ready for it to end when it was over, but it did set up well for my next position. I finished this in 1997.

    Fast forward to about 2003-04 (I can't remember exactly). Our 2nd DD was about 3 yo. DH had been laid off from his IT job and decided he wanted to go to rabbinical school. To do that, however, he had to get a Master's degree first. He did a Masters in Jewish Studies completely online. That wasn't too hard because I worked close to home and he didn't have to travel to go to school. The toughest was when he had to take a Modern Hebrew class and the only realistic way to take the class was to take it in Manhattan during the summer. He stayed with his parents in NYC during the week and came home on weekends. We sent the kids to camp or "Camp Grandma's" and we survived.

    Then came time to apply to Rabbinical school - that didn't go so well. He wasn't accepted into the program. Next step, ....

    Law School for me. DH still wasn't working and I got laid off. Decided I wanted more control over my life by having a truly marketable profession. What I didn't know, was that it wasn't like doing a part-time MBA. I had no control over how many classes I took or when. I was working full time at an awful position in my old profession and going to school FIVE nights a week 30 miles from home. The first year and a half, during which I also worked full time, was pure hell. I enjoyed school, but I was exhausted. I commuted between 1 and 1 1/2 hours a day, worked 8 horrible hours and then was in class between 2 and 4 hours a night. Needless to say, my grades were not wonderful and I couldn't do any extracurricular activities that really help getting a law job. Fast forward, I graduated this past spring, passed the bar this summer and landed a good job - all at age 47!!

    We are proof that graduate school and family and work and life can happen. Depending on the program, the schedule and the family's attitude, it can be easy, hard or impossible. I'm very grateful that every time we went through it, the family all rallied together and did what was necessary. I feel we have been a great example to our daughters. I love going to school and we joke about what my next degree will be in. I have to say though, I not doing another full degree program anytime soon. Too many student loans to pay off from this one! I hope this helps and provides some inspiration to anyone who thinks they can't go back to school.

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